Ch 17 Part 1

Translated by Tee on foxaholic.blog

Slightly graphic anatomical detail, read at your own risk

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Luo Zhang Wei was the chief director of the “Apostles”, and also a well-known talker in the film circle.

The toast was a long-winding speech of more than a 20-minutes, detailing the film’s early stage (intention), late-stage (publicity) and box office expectations and a mix of other things. He also had a good reputation in the circle with several influential International Film Festival awards won for best director, hence the main creative crew could only listen and give some enthusiastic applause from time to time. 

But in the face of many adorations, respectful, flattery or smiley faces, there was a face that was more and more being blackened: Xiao Jia Shu, a newcomer.

To catch the auspicious time, the opening ceremony was scheduled to take place at 12:30 pm, the same time for food and the ceremony finished in the afternoon at 4. After the ceremony and once people had time to get familiar with one another, forming new relationships. They would then need to rush to the restaurant and it was already 7:30 pm at this point. 

Xiao Jia Shu also wanted to smile and calmly wait for the meal, but when the stomach is empty and there’s delicious food in his face, it was impossible to cope ah! He looked at a plate of roast chicken not far away and imagined he stood up and stuffed it into the director’s mouth to stop him talking. He thought to himself, ‘Well, I feel a bit better now, and I can still bear another five minutes’. 

He nodded to himself and covered his stomach, completely oblivious of Ji Mian, the Film Emperor’s glance, who was sitting across from him. Ji Mian had a strange expression on his face, as if he wanted to laugh, but was trying to control it. 

“……I wish this movie big box office numbers” The director finally concluded, and the crowd began to stand up.

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Xiao Jia Shu hurriedly raised the wine glass towards Huang Mei Xuan and Huang Zi Jin and then proceeded to put a piece of duck meat onto the plate. Huang Mei Xuan stealthily pulled his sleeve, but was promptly ignored. After eating a few spoonfuls of rice. He whispered, “ Huang-Jie[i], has the director not finished talking? Why are you not eating?”. 

[i] Jie: elder sister

“Quickly go have a drink with the director, Ji Ge[ii] and Heng Ge”, Huang Mei Xuan persuaded Xiao as she handed him some wine. 

[ii] Ge: elder brother

Shi Ting Heng and Ji Mian are the film’s male lead no 1 and no 2 respectively, and also big shots in the film industry. The younger generations should pay their respect to them and offer them a drink. Whether they drink or not is another matter.

Although Xiao Jia Shu has been abroad for many years, he was no stranger to Chinese table manners. He picked up the glass of wine and paid his respects to the director, Shi Ting Heng and Ji Mian and says the phrase “please take care[iii]”.

[iii] “please take care”: this means to hope everyone will care and take care of me in the future. 

 In contrast, other newcomers came to the trio in succession with toasts, pleasantries, and an endless stream of compliments as they try to curry favour. This made Xiao Jia Shu seem more arrogant and ignorant of the proper etiquette (impolite).  

This gave Huang Mei Xuan some headache and she couldn’t help but look at the Young Master who was busy eating, she asked, “What are you eating?”. 

“Spicy chicken ”, Xiao replied as he raised his head. His lips were red and shining, his eyes covered with a few glistening tears. 

 “You’re not allowed to eat spicy food! Xue-Jie said you had mouth ulcer and it hasn’t gone yet! Eat some vegetables instead!” Huang Mei Xuan said heaping some green vegetables onto his plate.

Xiao Jia Shu moved the vegetables to the side and continued to eat the spicy chicken. After eating, he reached for the boiled pork with his chopsticks.

After half a month of drinking porridge, he was looking for something tasty to eat. Huang Mei Xuan saw that he ignored the vegetables, and knocked his head with a clean spoon. Xiao Jia Shu cried, but still firmly ate the boiled meat.

“Why is this kid not listening to me? Behave or I’ll tell Xue-Jie!”Huang Mei Xuan threatened.

Xiao Jia Shu smiled graciously and then resumed to extend his “evil” hand for the spicy shrimp not far away. Huang Mei Xuan got so angry that she couldn’t stop himself from hitting the back of  Xiao Jiashu’s hand with a spoon.

This intimate interaction seemed very unlike an agent and actor, and more an elder and the family younger generation interaction. Everyone was also not bothered by Xiao Jia Shu’s performance.

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Without a strong background, would the legendary big devil Huang Mei Xuan wait upon Xiao Jia Shu like her little ancestor? No way! Since there is such a background, one can’t afford to make trouble. In this way of thinking, several of the crew began to look for Xiao Jia Shu to talk, but they could only get him to say um, ah, a few perfunctory noises, and they dared not show their feelings as they were angered to death by him.

Xiao Jia Shu was also very good at extending chopsticks to spicy dishes, which made Huang Mei Xuan glare at him. Her younger brother Huang Zi Jin laughed and took the initiative to scoop some Mapo tofu (stir-fried beancurd in chilli sauce), and said in his ear, “Eat, just let go of it, you’ll be comfortable in the morning doing number 2.”

“Ah?” Xiao Jia Shu dumbly stared at him.

“Tomorrow morning, number 2.” Huang Zi Jin quietly repeated, besides his sister and Xiao Jia Shu, no one else could hear him.

Xiao Jia Shu was a bit of an unusual person with a very rich imagination, whilst others could easily say a word, he could use his imagination to construct it into the most colourful picture. Right now, in his mind, he unconsciously imagined himself sitting on a toilet, struggling with his face red, but was unable to pull it out. After more than ten minutes of inhumane torture and misery, with great difficulty, it was finally able to get out.

However, it was flames that pop out of the toilet and scorched his hair, something exploded and the ground was now full of yellow, sticky, suspicious objects.

The background music echoed in his mind “ chrysanthemum[iv]destroyed, full of bruises,  underpants yellowed, flowers fall off the anus[v], you can only lie on your stomach”….

[iv] Chrysanthemum: anus

[v] flowers fall off the anus: rectal prolapse

 Ew… feeling nauseous… Xiao Jiashu slowly lowered his chopsticks, covered his mouth and looked at Huang Zi Jin with grievant eyes.

Huang Zi Jin rubbed his cool-looking gray hair in confusion and smiled “Good boy, keep eating, brother will help you”.

“Ge-Ge, I was wrong. I’ll eat light”, Xiao replied, keeping his head down and honestly eating the vegetables.