I Am In Love with Myself

Dim yellow street lights, empty roads, sycamore trees on both sides of the sidewalk with dead branches stretched out, a few dead leaves rustling in the wind.

An Mu just joked casually, but Jian Yixi stopped subconsciously.

An Mu's arms were still in her arms, and she stopped. An Mu took a step and noticed something was wrong, and then stopped and looked back at her.

Jian Yixi is a little shorter than her, and is slightly raising her jaw to look at her. The hood covers the light, and the dim light marks on the outside of the hat. Jian Yixi's entire face is in the shadows, and the tip of her nose is plated. There was a trace of light, and the creamy white fluff on the brim of the hat fluttered between the light and shadow, and her soft black eyes suddenly appeared.

Most of Jian Yixi's eyes are clear and easy to understand, and it is rare to see such a complicated line of sight.

-Did she accidentally say something wrong just now?

"What's the matter?" An Mu asked.

Jane Yixi looked down, her long curled eyelashes hesitated, and it took a long time to tremble.

"I...gender female."

—It’s boring.

An Muwei raised his eyebrows.

—What is she trying to say?

Jian Yixi raised her eyes and glanced at her sneakily, as if to cover up her guilty conscience, holding her arm and continuing to walk forward.

"The next sentence you know what I'm going to say?"

—Gender Female... Like male?

This is an old stalk to An Mu, but to the 16-year-old Jian Yixi, it is a hot stalk that has just begun to become popular, and many students often use it as a joke.

But why did Jian Yixi talk about this suddenly?

An Mu pursed her red lips slightly, and moved her glazed eyes lightly to the left and right, and the light traces flowed through her eyes. She was as smart as her, and naturally quickly thought of the last words she said.

—Should she not misunderstood something because of the sentence "Beat the Mandarin Duck"?

-No way?

She remembered that although she had heard about lilies at the age of sixteen, she knew very little and never thought of herself unless...

Unless it's just nonsense.

An Mu pretended not to understand, Yun Danfeng looked at Jian Yixi lightly.

Jane Yixi dodged her eyes unnaturally, and the arm around her arm was also pulled out without a trace.

"I...gender, female, hobby...male! So...the inside...you understand, right?"

"It's that... I... I have always regarded you as my friend, my best friend! Old iron! Best friend! Understand?"

An Mu laughed, really making her guess.

"Why are you always ‘um’? Did you understand?"

"You ‘um’, do you mean it clearly?"

This answer obviously failed to satisfy Jian Yixi.

Jian Yixi glanced at her entangledly, her untouchable warm smile seemed to sting Jian Yixi, and Jian Yixi's expression became more tangled and complicated.

Jian Yixi raised her face and took a deep breath, her hood slipped off, her dark black hair was exposed, and her side face and her slender neck were plated with a soft warm light.

Turning his head and looking at her again, Jian Yixi's clear eyes carried the sea of ​​stars, but the sea of ​​stars sank to the bottom. The light marks in his eyes were dim, the complex entanglement remained, but there was more determination to break the boat.

The sound was very formal and solemn, and it didn't seem to be a joke at all, which made people couldn't help but get serious.

Jian Yixi turned around, more serious than just vowing to never separate from her.

"I... I have always regarded you as my friend. I am really my best friend. From what I can remember until now, and from now on, you will be my best and best friend!

I... I only have friendship for you, there is nothing else, there can be no other.

I don’t discriminate against homosexuals. I don’t discriminate against homosexuals. I just state the fact that I can’t really like you, not just you. I can’t like all girls. This is a question of sexual orientation.

I was not sure if you liked me, so I didn't dare to say, but now I am sure, I have to say, taking advantage of the time we get together is not too long, everything is still too late.

I don't want to drag it around, until a certain day even my friends can't do it.

Can you understand what I said? An Mu? "

It's so blunt, how low IQ will I not understand?

It is clear that Jian Yixi is serious and serious, but An Mu just wants to laugh.

Perhaps this is the difference in time. The twenty-eight-year-old self looks at the sixteen-year-old self, just like the sixteen-year-old self recalls the ten-year-old self.

The ten-year-old himself felt that his parents did not love him because he was punished to kneel, and he took away his burden very seriously. He held the piggy bank and said goodbye to his friends one by one. However, he was adopted by his adoptive mother before he knew where the station was. Caught up and got home.

In the eyes of the sixteen-year-old, it was really naive and funny.

The sixteen-year-old himself was almost like this in An Mu's eyes.

It stands to reason that no matter how much you want to laugh at this time, Jian Yixi is really serious about worrying, and she bravely said it after she really struggled. She attaches great importance to the relationship between them, she should It's right to answer with the same serious attitude.

But on the contrary, the more this kind of moment, the less seriously you can answer, which will only make Jian Yixi doubt the credibility of her answer.

An Mu's lips curled up, and the smile on his face became thicker. As the smile deepened, the lying silkworm, which was originally not obvious, came to life. The originally slightly cold face came alive, as if the ice and snow were beginning to melt and the peaches and plums were beginning to appear. Clues.

"I understand, but..."

"But what?"

"But I still like you."

Jian Yixi opened her eyes slightly, her breath froze in an instant, instinctively raised her hand and pressed it to her heart, it took a long time to relieve her breath, her cheeks flushed quickly visible to the naked eye, and the tips of her ears were dripping with blood.

This scene seemed familiar, An Mu remembered the last time she helped Jian Yixi twist a Coke bottle, and Jian Yixi seemed to have the same reaction.

Did you suspect her since then?

Thanks to her being able to hold it up till now.

I've probably bothered many times in the meantime, right?

This is...the trouble of youth?

Compared with An Mu's calm and relaxed air, Jian Yixi felt that he was almost gone, and even his breathing was difficult.

"You... didn't you understand? I mean..."

"I understand, you said that you are a straight girl, it is impossible to bend, and it is impossible to like me."

"Then you still..."

An Mu smiled: "Have you never heard that sentence? You can dislike me, but you can't obliterate my right to like you."

Jian Yixi clutched her heart, her chest fluctuated violently for a few times. This is a real person who is going to be gone, really suffocating! !

"Men... can't we be friends? Friends!"

An Mu saw that it was almost brewing, and Jian Yixi was almost crying, only then with a smile, he bent his hand and gently pressed his forehead.

"Don't be silly, I have someone I like, not you."

"Really, really?"

Jian Yixi didn't believe this sudden sharp turn.

"Of course it is true. Do you remember the last v-blog I posted in France?"

Jian Yixi groaned for a moment, and his eyes lit up.

"You mean that... I'm looking at the scenery, who are you looking at?"

"Yes, I am here to watch the scenery. Who do you see in the scenery, this'you' is the person I like."

In a similar situation, it is more credible to retreat than to deny directly and seriously, but no matter what happens, you can’t get rid of the suspicion fundamentally, so the best way is to retreat first, and then pull out a look that looks more reliable. A shield for the spectrum, so that the suspicion can be completely eliminated.

Jian Yixi only thought about it for a moment, then decisively believed, and then she became stupid.

Isn't this the typical self, composing, multitude, affection? !

Jian Yixi was embarrassed and embarrassed, pulled her hat to cover her face, lowered her head and walked forward, muttering vaguely in her mouth.

"I'm ashamed, I'm so... I... Don't look at me An Mu, you let me go for a while, I can't help me, I have never been so ashamed in my life!"

An Mu smiled and shook his head, followed her two steps away, stepped on her steps, not far or near, and walked for two intersections before Jian Yixi barely suppressed the embarrassment of wanting to die on the spot.

She stopped and sighed exaggeratedly with her head up.

"Xie Maomao, you're done, I will kill you when I go back!"

Sure enough, it's nonsense.

An Mu, who was depressed because of her adoptive father's words, swept away the gloom. For the first time in twelve years, she laughed for so long.

She laughed silently, Jian Yixi couldn't hear it, she finally gathered the courage to turn her head back, and planned to call An Mu to go together. She was hitting An Mu's smile on her face. The next second she blushed again, and she almost didn't stomped. With little shattered steps, he turned back embarrassedly.

Fortunately, the restaurant on the side of the road rescued Jian Yixi. The two entered the restaurant and ordered two noodles. They didn’t want cold dishes. They ordered a warm spicy pot, a small pot. They were just right for a few bites of food. , The embarrassment will naturally disappear.

Talking and laughing all the way back to Jian Yixi's home, not far from the hospital, to be precise, the entire small county town is so slapped, not far from living anywhere.

Returning to the long-lost home, An Mu faintly moved, and she felt cordial when she saw everything, even the rusty courtyard door was good.

The home is as remembered, with terrazzo floors, old wooden furniture, and tables full of things, chaotic and orderly.

Jane Yixi walked and cleaned up embarrassedly, and somehow packed the sofa to a place to sit.

"My house is chaotic, don't dislike it."

"Chaos brings the breath of life."

Chaos does not mean dirty. The adoptive mother is still diligent and the house is relatively clean.

Jian Yixi led her into her room. The room did not move as she did when she left. It was just that the books on the table were empty and looked much more regular than the living room.

Next to the desk is a single bed measuring 1.35 meters in size. The bedding is rolled up and covered with a plastic sheet.

Jian Yixi rubbed his freezing hands. The house was cold and there was no air conditioner. In winter, he relied on the stove to burn. There was no one at home today. The stove was gone. The house was frozen like an ice cellar.

Jian Yixi pulled the quilt away, touched the icy quilt, sighed, and turned to look at An Mu.

"Or I'll take you to the hotel. The hotel has air-conditioning, it's not cold, and you can take a shower. I can't wash it at home."

An Mu was wearing a feather cap and holding a feather pocket in her hands. Although she was not cold to the point of shrinking her neck, it was only because she carried warmth along the way. School uniforms and short skirts are not warm at all, and the classrooms are usually heated well. It doesn’t feel cold. It’s just a couple of steps home, and it’s not cold. It doesn’t work here. In such an old house, it’s freezing through after a long time.

Most of the old houses have this problem, the winter is cold, but the summer is relatively cool.

An Mu touched the quilt in the past and it was not damp. It should have been sun-dried beforehand, otherwise it would be a little damp if it was left for a winter.

"It's okay, just make a warm water bag."

"The stove is out, and there is no way to boil water."

"The thermos should have it."

Jian Yixi went to the living room and picked up the familiar Double Happiness thermos. It was full, and when the cork was opened, the thick white heat came out, and the heat preservation effect was not bad.

Jane Yixi was overjoyed.

"I will make you a warm water bag. The rest of the water can be used for washing, and there are still two mouthfuls left to drink."

It was almost twelve o'clock, and I had to get up early tomorrow. Neither of them was idle. An Mu went to the yard and picked up some cold water in, and the enamel basin knocked on the ground.

Over there, Jian Yixi had made a rubber warm water bag and stuffed it into the bed.

There is little water, so I can’t pay attention to it. The two of them made do with the washing, and there was a little left to brush their teeth tomorrow morning. You can use cold water on your face, but your teeth can’t.

While her feet were still warm, Jian Yixi urged An Mu to get into the bed.

The warm water bag only warms a small area of ​​the quilt. It is warm when a person sits in it, and it takes a while to warm up the feet.

An Mu didn't lie down immediately, leaning on the head of the bed wearing a down jacket, watching Jian Yixi tuck the close-fitting quilt, and tuck the top layered quilt, turned around and wanted to leave.

"The light rope is far away, I'll just pull it for you."

An Mu frowned, "Are you not sleeping?"

"Sleep, I'll go to my parents' house to sleep."

"not cold?"

Jian Yixi smiled and said, "It's cold when it's cold. If you sleep without taking off your clothes, it will be warmer in a while."

An Mu ruthlessly exposed: "It's impossible. You won't be warm after a warm night. Either you will come to sleep or take the warm water bag away."

No one knows himself better than An Mu.

Jian Yixi is born with cold hands and feet. Nobody feels comfortable in the summer, and no one wants to suffer in the winter. Without a warm water bag, his feet are cold all night. The more ice, the less daring to stretch his legs. The more he shrinks, the colder he sleeps. It's useless, the socks are not warm.

"I don't need it, you can use it, my parents have thick and warm quilts."

"It’s easy to catch a cold when you wear clothes to sleep. What should you do if you get a cold tomorrow morning? What if you infect me again? The exam is about to come."

After a pause, An Mu smiled slightly.

"You don't think I like you, do you?"

As soon as these words came out, Jian Yixi's small body straightened up immediately, and her eyelashes were plated with awns, flapping like butterfly wings in the wind.

"Don't use aggressive methods, it's useless!"

"Okay, I see, you go to sleep."

The smile on the corners of the lips smoothed, An Mu expressionlessly took off the down jacket and covered it on the quilt, the uniform was also taken off, the fur vest was also taken off, only wearing the school uniform shirt, got into the bed and lay flat, and tucked himself skillfully. Was horned, eyes closed.

"Pull the light."

Jane Yixi pulled the light rope, but didn't pull it.

—Why is there such a thing as acknowledging that you still don’t believe in An Mu when you turn on the light?

"Um... that bed is too small to sleep two people."

An Mu closed her eyes and ignored her. Even if she said she was really afraid of Jian Yixi's cold infecting herself, Jian Yixi probably wouldn't believe it.

But this is true.

The most common illness she had in her previous life was a cold, and every time she had a bad memory.

That time when the bra was dragged and splashed all over, she caught a cold, a hot cold, and healed slowly. It took half a month to get better.

What impressed her the most was that she couldn't find toilet paper during that time. Even if she brought a whole roll of paper, she would be thrown away. She would either throw it directly into the toilet, or throw it into a sink, or throw objects at high altitude, so she was not afraid of hitting people.

They like to watch her uncontrollable physical nasal mucus. Every time she sniffs her nose, a bunch of people laugh, and the classroom can't stop them.

She was also driven out of the classroom by the teacher because of this, saying that it affected other students' attendance.

There are quite a few classmates who bully her, most of them are booing. There are only two who are really in the lead, both of which belong to Class 11. One is from the Sports Committee and the other is a classmate who has a good relationship with the Sports Committee.

Both of them have a crush on Jian Yihu, and they have been rejected by Jian Yihu.

Jian Yihu is very good at instigating right and wrong, she deliberately rejected the two of them, inciting them to vent their resentment towards her on her who looks similar.

Not only grievances, but also some disdainful and trivial thoughts.

Thinking of this, An Mu thought about the incident again. The unknown is the most dangerous. She is not sure whether it was accidental or deliberate. She tried her best to keep the position of the elite class, but she couldn’t keep it. Then she can be honest with Jian Yixi. Let’s talk about it. Although Jian Yixi is still immature, she has grown a lot and shouldn’t be a big problem.

Just thinking about it, with a click, the light went out, the door closed, and the faint light from the mobile phone came over, and Jian Yixi was finally excited and climbed into bed obediently.

An Mu was lying on the outside, the bed was already warm. Of course, Jian Yixi couldn't drive her into the cold bed, so she had to climb the mountains and climb to the inside by herself, take off her short skirt, and tore open the quilt in her leggings. Went in.

With An Mu's warm quilt, the quilt is actually very warm, but the bed is really small, it is impossible for two people to lie flat, at most one person lie on his back and one person on his side.

An Mu was lying facing outwards, the room was pitch black, only the faint light of Jian Yixi's mobile phone screen.

Jian Yixi warmed up for a while, only to realize that she had taken off her shirt and lay in.

The phone screen went off, and the room was completely darkened.

Jian Yixi lay flat for a while, feeling squeezed, the pupa pupa, like an insect, lay on his side facing An Mu.

"Still angry?"

"No."

"I really believe in you."

"Don't always ‘um’, I have a psychological shadow."

An Mu is sleepy.

Jian Yixi couldn't sleep.

"Can you tell me? Who do you like?"

-Sleepy, why does she talk so much?

An Mu said, "It's... the one in the scenery."

"Which him?"

Where does she know? She has no memory of An Mu.

If she said she was a classmate, Jian Yixi would definitely ask, what would he do when she returned to China?

If it is domestic, Jian Yixi must ask again, where is it in China? When will he come to see you? When are you going to see him?

No matter how he answered, Jian Yixi might have a lot of questions.

And the most feared of lies is the snowball, the bigger it rolls, the more it scatters, and there will always be a ring of it.

The best way is to tell the least lies and end the topic.

"Don't ask... I can't be with him."

"Ah? Why? Is he...your teacher?"

Teachers and students love something, no matter in which country it is a taboo.

-Could it be that An Mu's revenge for Qi Liran was just by the way, she actually transferred to school under the pressure of teacher-student love? !

No matter how sleepy An Mu is, she can guess what Jian Yixi is making up for now.

"Don't ask, I don't want to say, it's uncomfortable to mention him."

OK, the topic ends.

Sure enough, Jian Yixi closed her mouth, exhaling warm air from the back of her neck, and faintly sighed, probably because she felt she had asked a topic that shouldn't be asked.

However, in fact, Jian Yixi's mind is in a mess at the moment.

The eyes adjusted to the darkness, and An Mu's white back neck could be vaguely seen. Jian Yixi stared at the back neck, and his mind was filled with An Mu and that person. Impossible, impossible, impossible...

Why is she a little happy?

If a friend is in a hopeless relationship, she should be comforted. What does it mean to secretly please?

Was she so bad?

It’s said that girlfriends are all plastic, and they don’t want them to live better than themselves. Is it true?

impossible! At least she has absolutely no such idea!

Moreover, An Mu is miserable now, this is not better than her...

So you actually like to base your happiness on the suffering of others?

At the age of sixteen, Sanguan is not stable yet, and Jian Yixi almost has self-doubt.

It's wrong, it's wrong, An Mu is sad, she should be comforted, she must be comforted!

An Mu was fascinated as she was about to fall asleep. Suddenly, two limp piles were posted behind her back. The sound of Xixi Suosuo's bedding sounded, and Jian Yixi's arms were also hugged, and An Mu's drowsiness from being frozen instantly disappeared.

"Don't be sad...you will definitely meet your destiny."

-Remove the ice paw.