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Chapter 61
Now that I’ve said what I always wanted to, I wonder how you’ll take it and what expression you’ll make…
Will you be angry?
Or will you be embarrassed?
I was curious, but as soon as I looked at him, the only emotion permeating his face was a sense of despondency.
Just like an emotionless person, he was devoid of any expression.
And it pricked my conscience.
“I see.”
“You agreed to it…so easily.”
“Is that so?”
“The fact that you agreed to it so easily means that you don’t feel that much regret and compassion towards me.”
“But my heart reacts differently every time I see you. I’ve never felt this way before…”
“It must be because I’m different from the people around you who’d blindly believe in you even if you say, ‘poop is gold.’ Don’t mistake feelings caused by unfamiliarity for attraction.”
I started stroking Rere’s hair after I was finished with my words.
The feelings this man had for me were simply fascination upon discovering something new. It’s similar to the thrill you feel when you first see an elephant.
That’s why it’s only right to nip it in the bud as soon as such feelings start to grow.
Because it was better not to put any hope in our ill-fated relationship.
Before this love-hate relationship turned into affection.
Thereafter, time went by in silence once again. Meanwhile, the artists, who were finished drawing a simple sketch, were now painting on a huge canvas that had the same size as a human body separately.
At that time, I could only hear the sound of firewood burning. I couldn’t hold back my drowsiness, no matter how hard I tried.
“Yaawn.”
In the end, I let out a yawn even when I tried so hard to hold back.
“You can sleep if you want.”
His words woke me up in an instant.
“No. I’m alright.”
Of course, that wasn’t true at all. I was barely able to keep myself awake, so it’s only a matter of time before I fall asleep again.
“You don’t have to endure it.”
“Who says I’m enduring it? I said I’m alright.”
“Really?”
“More importantly, what happened with Luca earlier…”
He acted as though he was ready to answer any of my questions, but his face hardened the moment I mentioned Luca.
“Luca. Everything is about Luca. Everyone is going crazy to find out what kind of person he is.”
“…. Are you jealous?”
“Jealous? No way. Am I not the one who has everything? I can’t be jealous of someone who has nothing.”
“Yet you still felt jealous.”
At my words, I was able to notice his pupils shook.
“What a childish person.”
“That’s funny. Do you think it makes sense to say that about me?”
“Yes, because it’s true. So, stop being jealous and tell me what you know about Luca.”
“Why do I need to tell you? Are you going to try to get along with him and abandon me?”
I asked him because he might know something about Luca, but I was too naive to think he’d tell me easily.
“I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”
“… What are you so curious about?”
When he changed his mind out of the blue, I was reminded of what Luca told me that night.
He said Duke Ian resembled a child.
How could he not resemble a child when he acts in such a way? He refused to answer my question, yet he suddenly changed his mind and asked me what it was that I was curious about.
“I’m not curious about anything.”
“Weren’t you curious about him until just now?”
“No. I just want to know how long I have to stay in this position. My clothes are causing me discomfort…”
“I-I’m done!”
A painter, who was seated in the middle, suddenly got up from his seat.
“Really? That’s good then.”
Duke Ian Petri then stood up and reached out to me.
“You can stand up now.”
“Is it really over?”
“Since he already said that he’s finished, it should be over.”
He then cast an indifferent look at the painters that were still moving their hands in a hasty manner, which made them stop brusquely.
“Yes. We’re all done!”
“Haha. Of course. We’ll bring the completed version next time.”
As if to prove the bad rumors surrounding the Dukedom of Petri, the painters rushed out of the room as though their tail was on fire.
“Then I’ll get going now, Your Excellency.”
One person pouted because he hadn’t finished painting, but the head of the painters was so determined to leave that the rest had no choice but to get out as well.
Complete silence filled the room as soon as no painter was in sight anymore. And so, I gently carried the child, who fell asleep while leaning on me, in my arms.
“I hope you have a good night. Nanny, take off Rere’s dress and put her to sleep.”
“Yes, madam.”
“I’ll take off my dress and go to sleep, too.”
“Alright. I’ll prepare a bath early in the morning tomorrow so that madam can wash up as soon as you wake up.”
If I could, I just wanted to run and jump on the bed. But the Duke didn’t even think about going out even though I bid him farewell already.
If I could, I would’ve immediately ran to the bed. However, the Duke didn’t leave the room even when I bid him farewell already.
“Aren’t you going to leave?”
“…I’ll be taking my leave then.”
“Of course.”
As if he was an abandoned puppy, he looked at me with eyes full of sorrow.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“…Like what?”
“Like a puppy whose toy was stolen.”
“… I couldn’t have made that expression. Then, I’ll get going now.”
He furrowed his brows as if he was offended, and turned his back to leave the room.
That was so ridiculous.
‘I should’ve prayed for him rather than for Rebecca at that time.’
Why do you have such a bad personality? Why do you act as though you’re out of your mind most of the time?
‘Even if I ask him, there’s no way he’d answer.’
Rather, it’s obvious he’d start to act arrogantly around me if I so much as ask a question about him.
“I won’t ask anything.”
“Pardon?”
At that time, the nanny, who was preparing the bed for Rere, turned her head upon hearing my words.
“Ah, it’s nothing.”
“Is that so? Speaking of which, master has changed a lot since your return.”
“Changed? That person?”
“Yes. He held a party and had a family portrait made.”
“That’s because Rere wants it….”
“It’s true that the party is something our miss wished for, but the portrait is different.”
Now I understood the reason why the nanny’s gaze was subtly different from before, why she would look at me with eyes full of expectations, and why she looked happy earlier.
“Instead of change, he just came to his senses. Don’t misunderstand.”
I dislike having anyone look at me with eyes full of expectations.
That I, who always behaved moderately toward the nanny and the maids, slightly crossed the line by raising my tone.
“Help me lay Rere down.”
“Yes.”
We put her down on the bed slowly, but Rere flinched as soon as we successfully did so. That is because no matter how comfortable her dress may be, she wouldn’t be able to properly sleep in clothes that made a rustling sound everytime she moved.
And so, I tried to take off her clothes, which made Rere squirm.
“Mhmm…”
“Rere, help me take off your clothes before you sleep.”
“Hng…”
As if she was able to understand, Rere rolled from side to side, which made it easier for me to take off her clothes. After that, I took off my dress as well and lied down next to Rere.
How can something as simple as lying down beside Rere make me this happy?
I rolled around, stretched my arms, and then yawned while hugging Rere in my arms in the wide bed. Not long after, I fell into a deep slumber.
The next day.
Rere and I stayed in bed until late in the afternoon.
“Mom.”
“Yes.”
“Let’s move the small bed you have in your old room here!”
“Suddenly? Don’t you prefer it when the bed is wide?”
“I do, but because it’s too wide, I can’t correct Big Bunny’s sleeping habits.”
While pouting her mouth, Rere rolled around the bed with Ugly in her arms.
“You don’t know how bad Big Bunny’s sleeping habits are, do you? You would hold Rere like this and roll around the bed. Haaa. Rere has been suffering far too much.”
“H-Have you really been suffering that much?”
“Of course! Whenever I wake up in the morning, my neck and shoulders hurt.”
As if to prove her discomfort, she massaged her shoulders and neck with her cute little hands. At the sight, I tried so hard to suppress my smile and put on a worried expression.
“Then, shall we sleep separately?”
At those words, Rere quickly stood up.
“S-Separately?!”
“You said you were suffering because of mom.”
“Wh-Who said that! T-That’s not what I’m trying to say…..”
“Hmm? That’s not it?”
“Yes! That’s not it. What I meant was…. I want to take care of Big Bunny from now on….!
“But I have bad sleeping habits….”
“…No! It’s because I don’t want Big Bunny to fall! That’s why I have to correct your sleeping habits….”
Rere puffed her cheeks and lowered her head.
“Really? You should’ve been honest then.”
“An honest girl is unattractive! And…I always can’t help but say the exact opposite of what’s in my heart.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“But I like listening to your honest words.”
“….Really?”
“Of course! People won’t know anything unless you tell them what you truly feel. If mom doesn’t tell Rere how much mom loves Rere, then Rere will never know.”
The child eagerly nodded her head. Because of this, her chubby cheeks shook cutely.
“Yes! That’s right! Big Bunny, you have to say I love you to Rere five to ten times a day!”
“Alright. But Rere should be honest with Big Bunny from now on, okay?”
“Yup!”
In the meantime, the nanny brought us a lot of food using a tray trolley.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were awake already? I would’ve helped you wash up right away.”
“In any case, that won’t be happening as today is the day I’ll only roll around in bed with Rere the whole day without washing up.”
I shook my head firmly. I used Rere as an excuse because I didn’t want to move my body at all today.
“Our lady can do that, but madam, you have a lot of work to do.”
“I have to…work?”
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