I Can Still Salvage It

When Shen Mian swiped the card and entered the room, he felt a bit confused.

He thought Pei Zhiyi’s preferences were really strange. Who would like someone who was immature and clueless?

He even suspected that Pei Zhiyi was playing with him, but Pei Zhiyi looked at him calmly and earnestly, dispelling his doubts.

Shen Mian could only swallow his doubts.

They returned relatively early that day, and Shen Mian decided to take a bath in the hotel bathtub.

He submerged himself in the water, staying there for almost half a minute before resurfacing.

When he came out of the bathroom, Pei Zhiyi naturally pulled him over and dried his hair for him.

Looking at Pei Zhiyi in the mirror, Shen Mian wondered if Pei Zhiyi would dry someone else’s hair like that in the future. Would he be this gentle with his girlfriend too?

He probably would. If he could treat his childhood friend like this, how could it be any different for his lover?

Shen Mian felt a little sad but didn’t want to show it.

That night, Shen Mian couldn’t sleep well.

He had a dream where he saw Pei Zhiyi getting married to someone else, and he was Pei Zhiyi’s best man, just as he had imagined before.

He couldn’t see the bride’s face clearly, but he could clearly see Pei Zhiyi in a suit, with a smile on his face.

He heard Pei Zhiyi say, “I’m willing to marry her, in sickness and in health, poverty or wealth, nothing will change.”

After waking up, Shen Mian was in a daze for a long time. The sunlight outside was bright, and Pei Zhiyi was showering in the bathroom. Shen Mian could hear the sound of water flowing.

If this were in a TV drama, it would be a typical beginning for a newlywed couple.

But that fleeting moment could only be considered an illusion.

If he didn’t act soon, one day he would watch Pei Zhiyi walk down the aisle with someone else.

But should he make any effort?

Should he approach Pei Zhiyi with a desperate mindset, snatching him away from the faceless bride who hadn’t appeared yet?

Shen Mian, with his messy hair, pondered for a long time but couldn’t come up with an answer.

After breakfast, he went out with Pei Zhiyi.

The classmates who had a good relationship were also waiting for them in the lobby.

Perhaps because it was the last day of the autumn outing, they were even more energetic than the previous two days. Although they had visited many world-class attractions, they didn’t hesitate to buy mass-produced souvenirs from the scenic spots.

Mu Lingling bought a pair of animal figurines and pointed to the fluffy little milk dog inside, saying, “Don’t you think this looks like you?”

Shen Mian glanced at it and protested, “Am I that silly looking?”

Mu Lingling looked at him and continued, “I agree you are not silly, so why did you reject Lu Yue? Her eyes were red when she came back yesterday.”

Shen Mian hadn’t expected Lu Yue to cry, as she had been smiling when they parted. He couldn’t help but feel guilty again.

But before he could say anything, Mu Lingling added, “I’m not forcing you to accept her. I just can’t understand. If you don’t even like Lu Yue, what kind of girlfriend do you want? She didn’t mention the reason for your rejection, only that you rejected her.”

Shen Mian toyed with the beads in front of him with his fingers.

It felt quite funny to him.

Because he no longer wanted a girlfriend, he wanted a boyfriend instead.

As a clueless straight guy who had lived for seventeen years, he suddenly and recklessly fell in love with his childhood friend, without any warning signs.

“Never mind, you don’t have to say anything. After all, love doesn’t make sense,” Mu Lingling sighed and took the last lacquer box from the shelf, “But Lu Yue is very popular. If you don’t accept her, you’ll truly miss out.”

After saying that, she went to pay.

Shen Mian, however, stood in front of the shelf for a while. The beads he unconsciously played with became a complex intertwining of raindrops.

He turned his head and glanced at Pei Zhiyi, who was buying red bean pastries from the opposite store.

Once missed, it’s truly missed.

This statement applied not only to Lu Yue but to anyone.

The gathering time at the bus was at 2 p.m.

After having a meal at a themed restaurant, they went to find their school bus. Everyone carried a bunch of souvenirs, nothing particularly special, and even a bit rough. The scenic area they visited couldn’t be considered a famous tourist destination in the country, but everyone was happy.

Before the bus started, teacher Ding gave each of them a card, saying it was from the school and asked them to write down their wishes on it.

teacher Ding leisurely said, “This is the last activity organized by the school. We’ve had our autumn outing, and when we return, we’ll focus on studying. So, write down your goals and work towards them. Some classes were asked to write down the universities they want to apply to and hand them in, but I won’t collect them. You can write whatever you want and keep it for yourselves. Wishes are not meant for me to see. What you want to do is the most important thing.”

The classmates immediately cheered and flattered teacher Ding.

“Teacher Ding is wise!”

“Our class teacher understands the students better.”

“Can I write that I want to marry Wonder Woman?”

…

They said all sorts of things, laughing and not taking it seriously.

Shen Mian held the wish card in his hand and twirled the pen around.

He turned his head to look at Pei Zhiyi.

He saw that Pei Zhiyi had written: “Shen Mian gets into X University.”

He didn’t have any specific wishes. According to him, anything related to himself could be achieved by his own efforts as he was already smart and capable enough. Only Shen Mian was an unexpected surprise in his life.

Shen Mian’s nose tingled, Pei Zhiyi was truly good to him.

Pei Zhiyi asked, “Did you write the same thing?”

Shen Mian replied with an “Mm” but didn’t show Pei Zhiyi. Instead, he put it in the inner pocket of his backpack.

When they arrived at school, everyone returned to their respective dormitories. After sitting on the bus for half a day, they were tired and went to bed early. No one felt like sneaking out that night, and they all fell asleep quickly.

Shen Mian also went to bed early, but he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep.

He sat by the bed for a while, gazing at Pei Zhiyi’s sleeping face, and then decided to sit on the balcony for a while.

While passing by the desk, he took out the wish card from his bag. That wish card had never been shown to anyone. Whenever someone asked him about it, he would straightforwardly say he wrote “Getting into X University” on it, but that wasn’t the truth.

What was actually written on the card was: “I hope (older brother) also likes…” – “Likes me.”

But he didn’t dare to finish writing the last character “me,” leaving the sentence incomplete.

…

Shen Mian stared at the wish card for a while, picked up the lighter placed on the balcony – the same one they used when secretly cooking hot pot on the balcony before, back when they were still the best of friends.

He looked at the ashes in the flames and wondered.

 Is this a wish or a fantasy?

I’ve called you “elder brother” for over a decade, thinking that we were unrelated by blood, a relationship where we would always have a place for each other in our lives.

But it turns out that my feelings for you were never that simple.

I yearned for so much, insatiably greedy.

Perhaps one day, you will no longer want me.

He set the wish card on fire with the lighter, turning it into ashes that scattered in the night wind.

Completely destroying the evidence, without a trace.

Shen Mian stood there a little longer, then quietly returned to the dormitory, lying back on the bed next to Pei Zhiyi.

He glanced at his phone’s time and checked the calendar. He realized that there was only one week left until the start of winter. His birthday fell in the week after the beginning of winter, and their family always celebrated birthdays according to the lunar calendar.

In less than half a month, he would officially become an adult. And in the autumn when there was less than half a month until he turned eighteen, he finally understood that love could be painful and tormenting.

While it was concealed, things were alright. But once it was discovered, it would grow like wild grass, spreading uncontrollably.