I Can Still Salvage It

When the kiss ended, Shen Mian had turned into a statue,completely petrified.

He leaned against the wall, breathing heavily and unconsciously. He looked at Pei Zhiyi and accidentally spoke his mind.

“Bro, you’re so skilled… How are you so…”

So good at kissing.

Shen Mian didn’t say the rest of the sentence. He bit his tongue and instantly stopped himself.

Pei Zhiyi glanced at him with a strange expression. He didn’t expect Shen Mian’s first reaction to be that.

 He picked up their bags from the ground, pulled Shen Mian, and said, “We’re done, let’s go.”

He had a completely business-like attitude, as if they hadn’t just kissed, but rather solved a math problem together.

Shen Mian followed Pei Zhiyi downstairs in a daze.

Experiencing his first kiss suddenly made his mind turn into mush.

He stared at the back of Pei Zhiyi’s head, suspecting that Pei Zhiyi was angry. Well, it was understandable. Which straight guy wouldn’t be angry after being forced to kiss someone of the same sex?

Thinking about it, Shen Mian became as obedient as a little quail, quietly holding hands with Pei Zhiyi all the way until they walked out of the school gate, without daring to say a word.

Pei’s driver was still waiting at the entrance because their homes were close by. Even if Shen Mian didn’t stay at Pei’s house, the driver would drop him off at his own home.

But that day, Shen Mian slipped away from Pei Zhiyi’s palm like an eel.

Shen Mian held his bag and stuttered, “I-I can go back by myself. Bro, you should… go to sleep early, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

After saying that, without looking at Pei Zhiyi’s reaction, he fled in a panic and ran away as fast as in a thousand-meter race.

After a while, Pei Zhiyi opened the car door and got in.

And when Pei Zhiyi entered his house, his phone, which was in his pocket, vibrated. He took it out and saw a message from Shen Mian.

“Bro, I’m sorry.”

“I know you feel disgusted”

“Can you please not ignore me? Can we still go to school together tomorrow?”

“Ah ah ah ah ah, blame this stupid mission. Bro, trust me, I really consider you a good buddy. Please don’t hate me!”

One message after another, the tone was messy and chaotic, clearly revealing Shen Mian’s confused state of mind.

Pei Zhiyi stared at those several messages, looking at them repeatedly, his eyes dark and deep, with an indescribable meaning.

He imagined the state of mind Shen Mian had when typing those messages. After a long time, he slowly leaned against the wall in the garden, as if unable to support himself any longer. The firmness that had been tightly held in his body finally relaxed.

That unbreakable facade finally shattered like broken porcelain.

He placed his hand on his heart, which was beating too fiercely, thumping and chaotic, as if eager to burst out of his throat.

He clenched the small piece of fabric on his chest so tightly that his knuckles turned pale.

He resembled a patient with a fever, his cheeks and lips tinged with a hint of red. And Shen Mian was his medicine; a single kiss ignited warmth throughout his entire body.

But Pei Zhiyi didn’t blame him for that. In the whole world, anyone who could remain calm after kissing their secret crush was either frigid or exceptionally composed.

Clearly, he was neither.

He had been maintaining a calm facade all along, able to hold hands with Shen Mian as if nothing happened after the kiss, showing no signs of anything unusual even while sitting in the car.

But only he knew how loud his heartbeat was when he lowered his head to kiss Shen Mian.

Pei Zhiyi closed his eyes, yet the image of the kiss replayed repeatedly in his mind. In the dimly lit corridor, with moonlight barely illuminating their surroundings, Shen Mian’s lips were warm and dry, but his tongue was soft and delicate. Holding his breath and unable to even exhale, Shen Mian was pitifully clumsy.

Pei Zhiyi thought, Shen Mian really was a cute fool.

He couldn’t even kiss properly.

Naturally Shen Mian couldn’t see the dirty thoughts Pei Zhiyi harbored as childhood sweethearts, still apologizing in panic.

How could he be angry?

That kiss was a task, a burden for Shen Mian.

But for Pei Zhiyi, it was the ultimate reward.

He had been, and still was, secretly in love with Shen Mian.

Ever since he understood the meaning of the word “like,” he couldn’t take his eyes off Shen Mian.

This unrequited love burned like a scorching fire, capable of easily scalding a person, yet he concealed it beneath a calm and composed exterior.

So not only Shen Mian, but no one else could tell.

They all thought he wasn’t interested in dating, that he had a cold personality.

But that wasn’t the case.

He simply dedicated all his love to someone who would never respond.

“Beep, beep, beep. Host Pei Zhiyi’s infatuation level has increased. Current infatuation level: 96.”

When Pei Zhiyi heard the familiar electronic sound in his mind, he didn’t panic. On the contrary, he remained calm because he had known about the system’s hidden detection feature called the infatuation level since the day the system bonded him with Shen Mian.

The higher the infatuation level, the deeper his affection for Shen Mian.

On the day the system bonded with him, his infatuation level was 95.

Signifying his love for Shen Mian, which he couldn’t obtain, turning his unrequited love into an ailment.

But Shen Mian knew nothing; he wasn’t even aware of the existence of the infatuation level detection.

Because Shen Mian didn’t love him.

Only when the infatuation level reached 85 or above would the system inform the host.

Until now, Shen Mian still naively believed that he was straight.

Pei Zhiyi looked again at the few text messages Shen Mian had sent. Perhaps Shen Mian didn’t want to disturb him too much, so he immediately stopped sending more messages.

But Pei Zhiyi could imagine that Shen Mian was anxiously waiting by his phone, feeling restless and aggrieved, hoping to hear his reply.

If he didn’t respond, Shen Mian would continue to wait.

Shen Mian’s profile picture was a round and plump corgi butt, its tail shaped like a fluffy heart. Pei Zhiyi looked at the picture and chuckled softly.

He leaned against the wall, trying to figure out how high Shen Mian’s infatuation level would be for him.

Perhaps it would barely reach twenty points.

But anything more would be wishful thinking.

Fortunately, he had grown accustomed to this and didn’t feel heartbroken.

On the other hand, the usually silent System 007 couldn’t stand being idle and presented another prompt.

“Beep, beep. Host Pei Zhiyi’s possessiveness is escalating. Danger warning. Please restrain your inner desires, host.”

Pei Zhiyi raised an eyebrow, as this was something he hadn’t heard from System 007 before.

But he wasn’t surprised either; he knew full well how intense his possessiveness toward Shen Mian was and how terrifying it could be. He was well aware of it.

The gentle and steady childhood friend mask he wore was just a deception to confuse Shen Mian. His true desires for Shen Mian were wicked and forbidden, concealed beneath a mask.

“Don’t worry, I won’t do anything.” He coldly informed 007.

Pei Zhiyi leaned against the wall for a while longer, allowing his accelerated heartbeat to gradually calm down.

He wasn’t in a rush to go inside; the jasmine flowers in the courtyard were blooming quietly, emitting a soft fragrance carried by the evening breeze.

He rarely took the initiative to chat with System 007.

Usually, only Shen Mian would do that kind of thing.

But 007 mostly ignored him, maintaining a cold and distant demeanor.

 Pei Zhiyi wanted to ask a question but he didn’t know if 007 would answer him.

He asked 007, “Did you choose me and Shen Mian solely because our compatibility is high?”

He knew that Shen Mian wouldn’t hear the conversation between him and System 007, so he asked casually and brazenly, “Is it related to my secret crush on Shen Mian?”

System 007 remained silent for a moment and surprisingly responded.

“100% compatibility is just one of the selection criteria. Another reason is that your possessiveness, desire, madness, and other abnormal emotions towards Shen Mian are what I need.”

Pei Zhiyi narrowed his eyes slightly.

Although 007 still had that indifferent electronic tone, he could actually sense a hint of mockery, as if he was sarcastically calling him abnormal.

Fortunately, he didn’t care.

“If the mission fails, can I bear the consequences?”

“What do you mean?”

“If Shen Mian gets sick, he’s very afraid of pain. If he has surgery, he will cry miserably. Can I replace him?”

Pei Zhiyi had wanted to ask that for a long time.

But he always felt that 007 wouldn’t agree, so he deliberately didn’t bring it up, hoping to leave himself with some hope.

As expected, System 007 quickly shattered his hopes.

“No, there is no such easy exchange in the world.” This time, 007 didn’t sound sarcastic. “One sided love doesn’t have a shared expense.”

The phrase “One sided love doesn’t have a shared expense” affected Pei Zhiyi’s mood quite a bit.

He hated the feeling of being manipulated by someone who knew his weakness.

“I understand.”

He waited until his heartbeat completely calmed down before standing up straight from the wall and slowly walking towards the main building of the villa.

When entering the house, Pei Zhiyi took out his phone again and replied to Shen Mian’s message.

“Don’t think too much. I’m not mad at you. I’ll come find you tomorrow.”

Shen Mian replied instantly.

“Ah ah ah ah ah, bro, you finally replied to me!”

Shen Mian sent four or five kneeling emoticons in a row.

Pei Zhiyi couldn’t help but laugh.

He leaned down and kissed Shen Mian’s profile picture.

“So silly,” he whispered softly.

But also so cute.

The next day, Pei Zhiyi went to wait outside Shen Mian’s house early in the morning.

As he expected, when Shen Mian walked out of the door, he had messy hair and faint dark circles under his eyes, indicating that he hadn’t slept well.

When he saw Pei Zhiyi waiting at the door, Shen Mian seemed startled and took a few steps back.

“Why are you so early?” Shen Mian asked.

“Weren’t you asking me if I’m going to school with you or not?” Pei Zhiyi replied with Shen Mian’s words from yesterday’s message.

Shen Mian closed his mouth. Indeed, he had asked that yesterday.

The two didn’t say much more. Pei Zhiyi arrived early that day and hadn’t eaten breakfast yet, so they walked to the breakfast shop at the end of the alley.

The small shop at the alley’s entrance had upheld its taste for ten years without a signboard. The customers were constant despite its lack of visibility. It had been there since Pei Zhiyi and Shen Mian were in elementary school. As they entered, the white-haired owner greeted them with a smile, “Little Pei and Sleepy Shen, come in, there are seats inside.”

Shen Mian grumbled in protest, “Don’t call me Sleepy.”

He didn’t like that nickname. It sounded too childish.

But it was useless. From the breakfast shop owner to his parents, everyone liked to call him Sleepy for no reason.

The owner called Shen Mian again, “Sleepy, do you want to eat the freshly fried dough sticks? We also have red bean cakes.”

Reluctantly, Shen Mian replied, “Sure, I’ll have those.”

Pei Zhiyi couldn’t help but laugh. He also liked the name Sleepy. It sounded sweet and soft, as if someone was pampering him. But every time he called Shen Mian that, he would be annoyed. So he stopped using it.

Shen Mian expertly ordered two breakfasts and started eating without raising his head. He usually liked to talk to Pei Zhiyi about a bunch of things while eating, from last night’s supper to the latest sneakers on the market.

But that day, he remained silent like a chicken, not uttering a word.

Because he felt guilty.

He always suspected that Pei Zhiyi regretted kissing him last night, because Pei Zhiyi’s eyes looked strange after he kissed him, as if he was trying hard to suppress something.

He imagined what Pei Zhiyi might be thinking and felt that Pei Zhiyi might have felt disgusted and uncomfortable after kissing him, but he was restraining himself because Shen Mian was present. He spent the night tossing and turning, unable to sleep well.

So he didn’t dare to easily raise his head to meet Pei Zhiyi’s gaze.

But even though he remained silent, Pei Zhiyi wasn’t planning to let him off the hook.

Pei Zhiyi ate politely but quickly.

After swallowing the last sip of soy milk, he asked Shen Mian, “Why are you keeping your head down? Are you embarrassed after kissing me yesterday?”

Shen Mian almost choked on his tofu pudding.

Finally, he looked up at Pei Zhiyi and murmured in a small voice, “You were the one who kissed me first…”

But halfway through his sentence, he lost his confidence.

The reason why Pei Zhiyi took the initiative to kiss him was because Shen Mian was taking too long, and Pei Zhiyi was getting impatient.

After hesitating for a while, he finally asked what was on his mind.

“Brother, tell me honestly, did you feel particularly uncomfortable after kissing me yesterday?”

When he asked this question, his expression was gloomy, resembling a little dog about to be kicked out of the house by its owner, obedient yet pitiful.

Pei Zhiyi couldn’t help but feel a bit ticklish in his heart.

He thought, how could Shen Mian hit every soft spot of his so accurately?

As long as Shen Mian wore such an expression, he wished he could give the whole world to him.

“I’m not uncomfortable, nor do I feel disgusted. It’s a bit easier than I imagined,” Pei Zhiyi calmly said, “I thought it would be difficult.”

Shen Mian widened his eyes, “Really?”

“It’s just a task, treat it like acting,” Pei Zhiyi calmly eased Shen Mian’s psychological burden, “Many people in the entertainment industry film kissing scenes, we’re no different from them. Just consider it kind of like that, and it won’t be a big deal.”

Shen Mian contemplated.

His reward was even more precious than that of the entertainment industry actors. They only received money, but he was saving his own life.

His train of thought was unconsciously led astray by Pei Zhiyi, completely ignoring the fact that most kissing scenes in the entertainment industry happened between a man and a woman.

But seeing how calm Pei Zhiyi was, he really didn’t seem to have any concerns left, and Shen Mian couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief.

“You scared me,” he revealed a relaxed expression, “I didn’t sleep well last night, afraid that you would ignore me today.”

He felt a bit wronged because, after all, Pei Zhiyi had never cold-shouldered him before. If Pei Zhiyi really ignored him, he wouldn’t even know how to coax him.

He touched Pei Zhiyi’s hand with lingering fear, “Thank goodness, brother, you’re so considerate.”

Pei Zhiyi didn’t say anything.

Anything he said after would seem too shameless, having taken advantage of the situation.

He casually handed the last xiaolongbao to Shen Mian and asked as if nothing had happened, “and you, did you feel disgusted yesterday? Can you get used to being kissed by a man?”

Shen Mian was stunned for a moment.

He subconsciously pursed his lips. He had been too preoccupied with worrying about Pei Zhiyi and hadn’t even thought about that.

But it seemed like he really didn’t feel uncomfortable.

He felt panic, but not disgust.

Since childhood, he would even share a cookie with Pei Zhiyi. Although being kissed by Pei Zhiyi felt somewhat morally taboo, it didn’t really make him repulsed.

“No,” he earnestly showed his loyalty to Pei Zhiyi, “Brother, I’m fine. You can kiss me anytime you please.”

This time, Pei Zhiyi couldn’t help but laugh.

He ruffled Shen Mian’s head, pulled him up, and said, “Alright, let’s go. It’s time to go to school.”

After leaving the breakfast shop, Shen Mian became lively and energetic again. Pei Zhiyi had successfully cleared any concerns from yesterday.

The driver from the Pei family was waiting for them as usual at the end of the alley. Shen Mian leaned into Pei Zhiyi’s arms as soon as he got into the car, rubbing his head against Pei Zhiyi’s shoulder, finding a comfortable position.

He yawned and said, “I’ll take a nap. Wake me up when we arrive at school. I only slept for a little over five hours last night, so I’m really tired.”

Pei Zhiyi responded with a sound of agreement.

The scenery outside the window swiftly passed by, the trees at the intersection formed a green shade, and Shen Mian quickly fell asleep.

The car was quiet, and one could even hear Shen Mian’s faint breathing.

As Pei Zhiyi looked at his innocent profile, he finally felt relieved.

Shen Mian didn’t dislike his kisses, and that was enough to make him happy.