I Can Still Salvage It

After finishing the late-night snack, everyone returned to their respective dormitories.

It was almost lights-out time. The friends quietly opened their dorm room doors and waved goodbye in the dim hallway.

“Pei Zhiyi, lend me your English and Chemistry notes tomorrow morning,” Xu Jing reminded Pei Zhiyi before entering his room.

As soon as the door closed, Shen Mian couldn’t wait to gossip with Pei Zhiyi.

“It’s been driving me crazy,” Shen Mian sat on the bed, opening a bottle of cola. “Did you know that Lin Jia and Gu Weizhou, our neighbors, are the people System 007 originally wanted to pair up?”

Pei Zhiyi had no idea.

He had only briefly encountered Gu Weizhou, and the hallway was dimly lit, making it difficult to see his appearance clearly. He only remembered that he was tall with well-built arms. As for Lin Jia, although he appeared delicate, there was nothing that indicated he was gay.

Shen Mian took a sip of cola. “Isn’t this system ridiculous? One moment it says we’re a couple, the next it claims Gu Weizhou and Lin Jia are a match too, but they don’t even know each other. They’re even less reliable than us.”

System 007 let out a cold snort in Shen Mian’s mind.

Shen Mian spoke arrogantly, “Am I wrong? Which one of the four of us looks gay?”

007 sneered, “Well it’s not about looks.”

After that, it ignored Shen Mian, pretending to shut down and remaining quiet as if it didn’t exist.

Shen Mian attempted to engage 007 in conversation again, but 007 ignored him, leaving him to perform a monologue alone, which felt uninspiring.

He shook his head and criticized, “Running away when you can’t argue.”

That night, before going to sleep, Shen Mian pulled Pei Zhiyi and kissed him once again as part of the mission.

They say familiarity breeds fondness, and Shen Mian had grown too lazy to resist. After all, there was no escaping it, and dragging it out until Sunday was pointless.

However, unlike the previous time they first kissed, this time it was in the brightly lit dormitory. They could clearly see each other’s subtle expressions, which made Shen Mian feel a little embarrassed.

Pei Zhiyi was wearing black cotton pajamas, his hair recently washed, giving off a pleasant fragrance of shampoo, just like Shen Mian.

Shen Mian pleaded, “Could you close your eyes? I’m nervous.”

Pei Zhiyi obediently closed his eyes. His long and thick eyelashes hung down like a sleeping prince waiting to be awakened by a kiss.

But Shen Mian had no knightly aura. He took a deep breath, hugged Pei Zhiyi’s neck, and kissed him.

The kiss lacked finesse, like a newborn puppy licking someone randomly. Shen Mian’s teeth even bumped into Pei Zhiyi’s lips.

However, Pei Zhiyi’s eyebrows didn’t twitch at all. He allowed Shen Mian to do as he pleased.

The kiss was to last for at least thirty seconds, and Shen Mian hypnotized himself, pretending he was only kissing an artificial object. But the fresh taste of toothpaste in Pei Zhiyi’s mouth and the warm breath made it difficult for him to convince himself.

After thirty seconds, the system announced that they had obtained 2 points, and Shen Mian released Pei Zhiyi’s lips.

He felt as if he had been burned and hurriedly ran back to his own bed and burrowed into the blanket, only half of his flushed face visible.

Pei Zhiyi subconsciously licked his lips. Shen Mian had drunk water before kissing him, and his lips were moist.

But the soft emotions in Pei Zhiyi’s heart didn’t last for more than a few seconds before he heard Shen Mian earnestly ask him, “After we complete this six-month mission, will we become experts in love? At the very least, our kissing skills will have improved, right?”

The smile in Pei Zhiyi’s eyes froze.

He calmly looked at Shen Mian and said, “After the mission is over, do you want to date?”

Shen Mian thought for a moment, “I guess so. It’s nice to have a girlfriend. Look at Xue Chen in our class. He’s always happy after getting a girlfriend, constantly showing affection whenever he gets the chance.”

Shen Mian didn’t really understand love, although many people liked him, he had never felt attracted to anyone. But seeing other couples being sweet together made him naturally believe that he would experience it too.

Although Pei Zhiyi was doing the mission with him, their essence was different from being in a romantic relationship.

He wanted to ask Pei Zhiyi what type of girl he liked, but before he could, the lights in the room suddenly dimmed.

Pei Zhiyi turned off the lights.

“Let’s go to sleep.”

Shen Mian muttered, “Oh,” swallowing the words on the tip of his tongue.

He played with his phone on the bed, glanced at Pei Zhiyi, and suddenly smiled, “Brother, it feels like we’re back to our childhood now.”

He used to sleep with Pei Zhiyi a lot when they were children, in his blue bedroom with a window that had a grid pattern. Through the grid, they could see the towering trees in the yard.

Pei Zhiyi also reminisced.

Being at Shen Mian’s house was always more fun than being at his own. He loved the swing in Shen Mian’s yard, enjoyed the soup made by Shen Mian’s father, and liked watching TV dramas with the whole family after dinner.

But most of all, he loved Shen Mian.

So, he eagerly looked forward to going to Shen Mian’s house every day back then.

His expression softened, and he said to Shen Mian, “let’s sleep.”

After playing with his phone for a while, Shen Mian felt tired.

But just before he fell asleep, System 007 suddenly appeared.

“Random mission: Please host Shen Mian prepare a heartfelt lunchbox for Pei Zhiyi. This mission is worth 3 points. Do you choose to accept it?”

Shen Mian jolted awake and said, “I accept!”

However, Pei Zhiyi furrowed his brow, “Can you cook?”

Shen Mian was the person who had once caused an explosion while boiling eggs, so making a heartfelt lunch box was not any easier for him than taking an exam.

But Shen Mian wasn’t worried, “Don’t worry, I have a way.”

After saying that, he yawned and mumbled, “But it’s always a basic task. When will we get a special mission with more points?”

007 pretended to turn off and didn’t answer.

Shen Mian hugged his pillow and fell asleep in no time.

However, Pei Zhiyi was still awake.

Shen Mian’s words lingered like a thorn in his heart, constantly reminding him that he was excluded from Shen Mian’s romantic preferences.

Even if they hugged, kissed, and did more intimate things, it didn’t mean they had a future together.

He was just Shen Mian’s good brother, with the bond of childhood friends and an understanding beyond words.

But Shen Mian couldn’t give him more.

That fact made Pei Zhiyi somewhat restless.

He turned off his phone, and the room returned to darkness.

He turned his head, and Shen Mian’s figure could only be seen as a silhouette.

In fact, he had long forgotten when he started liking Shen Mian, but he knew it must have been earlier than when he realized his own feelings.

During supper that day, everyone said he was good to Shen Mian, patient and gentle.

Xu Jing even pretended to cry a bit, asking why he didn’t have an older brother like Shen Mian.

But only he knew that his apparent gentleness and self-restraint were all fake.

The person who had always been genuinely gentle and soft was Shen Mian.

He wasn’t always as calm and composed as he is now.

There was a period of time when he had a very bad temper.

After his parents’ divorce, he often lived in that house alone with the nanny. He became withdrawn and irritable, frequently throwing things around. Even the nanny who took care of him couldn’t handle him.

So every time Shen Mian came to see him, eight out of ten times he would make him so angry that he would burst into tears. Once, he even pushed him to the ground, scraping his palm in the process.

Many times, he felt that Shen Mian would abandon him too.

He watched Shen Mian’s figure as he walked away from behind the window, thinking that Shen Mian would never come to see him again. No one would like him. If even his own parents could easily leave him, how long could Shen Mian endure?

But the next day, Shen Mian still came. He climbed onto his window sill, tapping his window with a gentle voice, saying, “Pei Zhiyi, come out and play.”

He still remembers the orange-flavored candy that Shen Mian placed on the window sill.

Behind the half-open window, Shen Mian’s eyes were bright and warm, but also a bit timid, as if he was afraid he would suddenly get angry again.

But even though he was afraid, Shen Mian still made an effort to overcome his fear and reached out his hand to him.

No matter how badly he treated Shen Mian, no matter how moody he was, Shen Mian never abandoned him. Like an innocent and warm little dog, once he recognized his owner, he would never run away. He would give his whole body and soul to him, revealing his soft and warm belly, showing kindness without any defenses.

So how could he not like Shen Mian?

It was impossible not to.

Pei Zhiyi put a hand on his forehead and chuckled lightly in the darkness.

Later on, he quickly learned to control his bad temper, learned to pretend to be a gentle person, and learned to become an exemplary student in the eyes of teachers and elders.

But it wasn’t because he truly wanted to be kind to others.

It was because he thought that if he became better than everyone else, Shen Mian’s gaze would linger on him for an extra second.