I Couldn't Tell You Who It Was

Goyeon must have listened to the fan song with an ecstatic face. Her forehead creased and looked at me. “But still, you were friends. And it hasn’t even been that long since he died. Yet if you appear on TV, stories about Yeonseon will start appearing again on the internet. He died, plus he didn’t even pass in a good way—can’t he just rest in peace?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m telling you again, I don’t believe in ghosts. But on top of the rumor that you saw a grim reaper beside Yeonseon, I don’t want to see another fake spirit photo of his face photoshopped with a dark shadow. Did you even know that those kinds of things were posted on the internet? There were rumors that your lifespan would shorten if you listened to Yeonseon’s songs, for goodness sake!” She didn’t look like she wanted to listen to what other people had to say, so I could only just keep a bitter grin on my face. I knew that if I were to go on any show, the variety of buried rumors about Yeonseon would resurface—since the dead Yeonseon was more famous than me.

Goyeon pointed her flashlight at me and said threateningly, “Why in the world did you decide to appear on this show? If you needed money, it would be quicker for me to help find you another job. Please give up on this shoot and go back. I feel uncomfortable with you around.”

I could only repeat the same reply as before. “I’m sorry.”

I was so calm and quiet that Goyeon ended up making a terrible grimace. Her pale face obscured by the darkness gave a ghostly air about her. I stared at her face then looked behind her and chuckled.

“Why are you laughing?” She asked me sharply. I pointed to the camera behind her. The black eyes had a red glow. She turned around, discovered the camera, and frowned. Since cameramen didn’t follow us around, it didn’t feel like a real shoot. The surveillance cameras installed around the building and spy cams were used to carry out the shoot, and she seemed to recall the producer saying that now.

“I thought someone would be entertained by watching this scene. I guess even without planning a play fight, you and I did it. We can fight with just the right amount of tension—”

“Don’t joke with me!” Goyeon yelled. She hurled the flashlight in her hands at me. For something she threw in her fit of anger, it hit the wall far behind me quite strongly. Shatter! The sharp sound of steel scratching cement echoed and the flashlight went out. I wasn’t sure if the battery flew out on impact or if the lightbulb went out.

“You’re a real piece of trash…! I thought that since you were Yeonseon’s friend, you couldn’t be that bad of a person, but I was stupid to think that! I thought you would act as if you cared for Yeonseon Ham just a little bit, yet how could you do this?! There must be a limit to how egocentric someone can be!”

I looked in the direction of where the flashlight flew and mumbled, “I did appear with Yeonseon in mind.”

I heard Goyeon grind her teeth. She had no reason to explore with me anymore. I had no choice but to walk toward her.

She must have thought I came close to harm her because her shoulders flinched. At the same time, she must not have wanted to avoid me because she continued to glare daggers at me.

Contrary to her expectations, I had no intention to fight with her at all. I was rather envious that she could like Yeonseon in a normal way. Could I also be furious at the misfortunes that Yeonseon faced? I wished that I could at least hate and have a grudge against another party properly.

“…Be careful.” I placed my flashlight in her hands.

Goyeon, who was suddenly handed my flashlight, let out a hollow, sigh-like laugh. She seemed to wonder what in the world we were doing. I had a lot to say to her, but amongst them all, I could only say one of them. “It’s dark, so if you don’t watch your step, you might trip and fall.”

“Are you acting nice because there are cameras watching us?”

“Let’s just put it that way for now.”

Goyeon let out a peal of annoyed and derisive laughter. To my relief, she didn’t return the flashlight. She was a fearful person, so it must be hard for her to walk around in a bizarre place with no light at all. Plus, I could tell that she must have wanted me to suffer by making me wander in the darkness with no flashlight.

It didn’t matter to me. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to someone who liked Yeonseon.