Chapter 7 – Where To Go?

Fu An recognized each of these three words, had heard them all before, but when they were put together like this they became incomprehensible. He couldn’t understand what they meant, only sensed that it wasn’t anything good.

Fu An’s lips slightly parted. Unexpectedly, for a moment, he didn’t know what to do and froze in place.

Qi Qianze had stopped the car, and the sound of the car engine had also stopped. Inside the car was an unusual silence.

It was very dark in front of them. The streetlights were so dim it was like they weren’t even there, and in this environment, Fu An’s voice sounded low and heavy, like it had been suppressed for a very long time. A dormant, dark beast.

“Qi Qianze, say that again?”

Fu An was a person very difficult to describe. In the eyes of others, he was very easy to dislike. He would often act like he was on a pedestal, looking down on everything below him, as if he was so much more powerful in comparison. He was unfriendly, and even if someone was more familiar with him, they wouldn’t be very close. Most of the time he was like an unreasonable bee, stinging at will.

His disposition was unyielding. The people that he latched onto, the things that he set his mind on, once he had decided on them clearly, they were very difficult to change. For example, liking Qi Qianze, leaving Qi Qianze, or wanting to see Qi Qianze.

So simply with Qi Qianze behaving differently, Fu An’s thoughts would become a mess and he would act erratically. 

Fu An stiffened and thought: because of him, I’ve become like this.

So where does he want me to go after doing this to me?

Now, Fu An had already completely forgotten that it was he himself who had said that he “didn’t want to see Qi Qianze”. Or maybe it was that he thought that “do or don’t want to see” was a question that no longer needed to be investigated. Those all were shallow words anyway. They both wanted to meet each other, and they could both sense it, the only thing left was that they were unwilling to loosen their mouths, continuing to stubbornly say words that wouldn’t let the other off easily.

Like it was some sort of strange ritual.

Qi Qianze didn’t utter a sound, and unlocked the door instead. The ordinary, soft click of the lock lightly sounded, but it had a resounding echo.

At that moment, they didn’t have any other words to say. The sound of that door lock was the last straw. Fu An instantly exploded. 

Fu An paused for two seconds, with a hand on the door handle, then fiercely shoved the car door open, got out without a word, and slammed it behind him with a bang. Qi Qianze even felt the car sway with the force, revealing the extent of Fu An’s anger.

Qi Qianze leaned back, rested his head on the car seat, and let out a very long breath. But before the breath was over, the passenger side door was fiercely yanked open again–––it was Fu An going back and forth.

Fu An’s expression was brilliant. It looked as if he was angered to death, with tightly clenched teeth, like he was planning to rush up and bite Qi Qianze to death and tear him to pieces.

“Qi Qianze, say that again?”

He had just gotten off the car and stepped onto the deserted curb, when he felt a great sense of being wronged and thought: Why am I here? Why do I leave just because he tells me to? Is there something wrong with me? Qi Qianze, this kind of person, he even thought to leave it at that and let him go? This was bullshit, Fu An should just imprison him for a lifetime, and let neither of them live easily.

Fu An doggedly latched onto that sentence, hand on the car door frame, shaking all over with anger: “If you have the guts say it again?”

Qi Qianze looked at him, seemingly very calm.

Fu An shook and shook, glaring until the rims of his eyes were sore: “Are you sick in the head? What did you drag me here for? You should’ve just left back then, it would be best if our lives never intersected again, who would want you?”

“You said to go back home, go to whose home? Go to that house? I fucking left for three years, the fuck does your home have to do with me? Why should I go with you?”

“Qi Qianze, you should go die, really, I wish I could bite you to death!”

After speaking, Fu An stood in the same place, chest heaving. Saying these words had taken all of his breath.

Qi Qianze seemed to have not heard them and wasn’t angry at all. He pointed at the seat in the car, motioning for him to get in, saying: “You also told me to leave just now. I’ve returned it to you.”

He was referring to what happened in the bathroom, when Fu An had thought to leave it and let him go.

“You really are impressive.”

Fu An was incredibly angry. He turned his head away and smiled briefly. In his heart, he thought it was really too interesting, the dumbass in front of him was so impressive that he should quickly drop dead.

With another bang, Fu An slammed the door, walked to the back row, opened the back door, and got inside.

Qi Qianze could only see a small part of his forehead in the rearview mirror, but didn’t say anything. His chest loosened. He had actually thought for a moment that Fu An would really leave, but fortunately, Fu An’s habit of fighting to the death when he was angry still hadn’t changed, and as Qi Qianze had predicted, Fu An himself sat back in the car.

Qi Qianze continued driving.

“Where do you live?” After driving for some time, he asked Fu An.

“Didn’t you want to go back home? Go wherever.” Fu An wasn’t courteous at all, “I think you should go back, stab me dead with one jab. No, first fuck, after fucking then stab, first violate then kill, while it’s night quickly take the corpse out and throw it away. In the future, the dead and living are separate, nobody meets anyone else!”

Fu An finished speaking, but he felt uneasy after saying the last sentence. When he hadn’t seen Qi Qianze, it was so unbearable he wanted to die. Now, his body that had been so tense suddenly relaxed and he leaned back against the seat for a while. He’d been angered until his entire body gave off heat, and now his stomach made a sound.

He had only eaten a few bites of dinner, and was just angered till he was dizzy, with his entire person both hot-tempered and irritated. This would make him even more hungry.

Qi Qianze silently changed directions, sighed quietly, and said: “Forget it, I’m also hungry, let’s go eat first.”

They found a Japanese restaurant, where they expressionlessly and wordlessly sat across from each other eating, like two strangers forced to share a table.

When they were nearly done eating, Qi Qianze paid the bill, said to him “I’ll treat,” Fu An didn’t respond and just let him pay.

At this time, it was almost 9 or 10 at night. Fu An wasn’t talking to Qi Qianze, and Qi Qianze didn’t know where he lived now. In the end they still went to the house where they’d lived before.

Inside the house, it wasn’t much different from three years ago. The things that Fu An had used before had been replaced with ones of the exact same type, cleanly and neatly placed in all the same positions as before, as if they had just cleaned and had simply switched their daily necessities out for newer ones.

Fu An had an undefinable feeling in his heart. He didn’t know if it was because he’d eaten too heavily just now and was no longer able to think clearly, why he just followed Qi Qianze here. He sat on the sofa and told Qi Qianze he wanted to leave.

Qi Qianze didn’t keep him from doing what he wanted, standing at one side and watching him put on his coat and his shoes, neaten his pants, all the way till Fu An stood up straight. At that time Qi Qianze spoke to him in a very soft voice.

He asked Fu An: “Why?”