I Own a Brothel in Another World
Chapter 10 – Barrels Full of Life
The butler opens up the gate and we enter the front yard. A nice, paved path leads us to a small fountain in front of the main entrance. It’s made out of white marble and portrays a beautiful woman holding a vase, from which water flows down into the pond.
We glance over the entrance. Two-steps-high round elevation with four pillars upholding a small roof over it. With a half-mahogany half-glass wooden double doors, it reminds you of those high star hotel entrances.
Moving inside we are met with a breathtaking sight. A big lobby hall out of white marble and dark mahogany too. It’s quite spacious and two levels high. To the left and right, there are four groups of chairs and sofas with tables, two per side. Definitely as waiting areas.
At half of the hall’s length, there’s a beautiful reception placed in the middle. A wide desk with lots of small boxes hanging on the short wall behind it, most likely for the room keys. There is a door to its left and right. Just beside each door on the sides, marble stairs are going up halfway, then they turn inwards and join in the middle, above the reception, leading to the visible second level in the other half of this hall. An entrance hall straight out of a rich noble’s fantasy mansion.
The second level extends up there to the end of the room. We can only see some furniture and doors from our position. There are walkways with railings on both sides that lead back in the direction of the reception and give access to the second level of the mansion’s corridors to the west and east wings. They are exactly above the ones on the bottom level which we are on.
Not gonna lie, this is not a sight I was expecting to see anywhere else than in fiction and the highest class hotels reserved for celebrities. The view down from these walkways must be amazing. And that huge chandelier fits perfectly.
I walk closer to the reception, staring at everything in awe. When I reach it, I can see into the corridors leading to the sides, and man, there are at least twelve doors in my sight and walls turn left, creating those long wings of the mansion we saw from the outside. There must be at least twice as many rooms in those segments. And there’s that second level too.
「There’s no way he wants to give this to me, right? This must be one of the most luxurious places in the city.」
The butler arrives at my side. I pick one of the keys from the reception and we walk to a room in the left corridor. I open it and take a glance inside. It’s quite spacious and in the same style as the main hall. A nice double bed, some furniture, a desk with a working area, a table with some chairs. There’s a door leading to the room adjacent to this. Interesting idea. If you come with someone, you can have rooms by each other and pick up an additional key in case you want to cross without having to go outside.
We come back to the main hall and go through the doors by the reception. There are many tables with benches and chairs arranged in patterns here. I assume this is some kind of a dining area. We explore the doors that lead out of it and find an entrance to a big kitchen on the left. It looks well equipped and prepared to suffice for serving a lot of people.
Going the other way, we stumble on most likely the cleaning department. There are a lot of various tools and devices here. Also, storage for sheets, tableware and stuff like that. In both places, there are also doors further which lead to a narrow corridor with smaller rooms. Servant quarters if I were to guess. On both of its ends, there are stairs up, but we go back to the main hall and then use those stairs to check the second level.
Up there we see a recreational area half the size of the dining room below. Some more sofas and tables and a small counter to serve alcohol and snacks. It ends up with a set of double doors.
We pass through them and going right we find an indoor bath, split into three sections—male, female and mixed. We enter one and are met with a big pool, areas to clean yourself by the walls and some space to relax outside of the pool. It’s naturally empty right now. Everything in the usual mahogany-marble style.
Going left, we find a library with a lot of books. Finally, we reach a similar narrow corridor as the one which is most likely currently under us, on the level below. There are also some rooms here but with much more fancy doors. We check the ones looking the best.
We enter a room that literally screams VIP Penthouse the moment you step in. It’s around two times the size of the other room we checked before. There are two big beds, which would easily fit at least five people each. A lot of masterfully crafted furniture with big wardrobes and shelves. There’s also a small personal bath and a toilet behind a door. Two work areas, a small personal library and a half-glass door to a balcony. From there, you have a view into a small but charming garden behind the mansion.
The garden has some benches, two small wooden bowers and is surrounded by path-making low hedges. There’s also a quite small pond there.
Checking out the other rooms in that corridor, they look similar to the ones on the bottom floor but slightly better equipped. We move back to the main entrance. I sigh and turn to the silent butler.
“What exactly is this place?”
“It was meant to be a high-class residence for anyone who had money and wanted to live comfortably while visiting the city. Something akin to a royal inn, but not reserved only for nobles.”
“As expected. I guess it didn’t garner enough attention or guests and was closed.”
The butler bitterly smiles.
“Not exactly, it was quite popular.”
“Why was it abandoned then?” I ask curiously.
“It has been revealed that the owner wasn’t particularly a good man and the whole thing was a ruse to try a heist on the castle’s treasury.”
“What? How would that even help? We are on the border of the noble district, quite a distance from it.”
“There’s a tunnel starting in this mansion’s dungeon which connects to the castle. It was supposed to be a job from both inside and outside.”
I assume a fully surprised expression.
「Those guys must have really had balls to even try to rob the King. But man… To dig a tunnel and manage to connect it to the castle...」
I marvel over their dedication and planning. This would make for a good movie back at home. While I’m doing so, the butler speaks again.
“So… What do you think about this place, Sir Carter? Does it suit your needs?”
I look at him and think for a moment. Yes, this fits more than my needs. It has quite everything you could want even in the future. But… Isn’t it kinda too rich and special to just give away?
「Wait… A secret tunnel to the castle… No way... 」
I clap my hands and start laughing.
“Hahaha! So that’s it!”
The butler gazes at me in confusion.
“Ah, sorry, don’t mind me. Yes, it’s perfect. You can inform the King that I’ll claim it,” I say with a smile.
“Great! I’ll excuse myself now, then. You can already consider this place yours, Sir Carter. Till we meet again.” He bows and leaves through the main entrance.
“Haaaaaaaaah. For real… Going as far as giving me a huge mansion just because it has a secret tunnel leading to the castle… It will really help those nobles visit without any risk.”
Quite tired, I only check out how the bath works. There are some Mana Crystals infused with the water element to fill the pool and similar ones with ice and fire ones to control the temperature. Even if someone is not talented in magic, every race and entity has mana running through their bodies, allowing them to activate those crystals with just a touch. They are not imbued with some complex enchantments. Just basic ones like Create Water. The temperature controlling ones are most likely Heat Wave and Cold Wave.
After thirty minutes of waiting, I properly wash myself in a godly, hot bath. The steamy atmosphere is something else. Then, I go straight to bed. Naturally, the best one.
※ ※ ※
I wake up quite rested and move to the kitchen, but the moment I put my hands on its doorknob, I realize that it’s pointless. There’s nothing I can get here. And if there is, I don’t think I should even try it.
「There’s so much stuff to arrange and prepare… Oh well. Can’t think on an empty stomach.」
I dress up and walk out. It’s still morning time. People are wandering through the streets, walking most likely to their workplaces. Since I’m not far from it, I enter the mercantile district. There are many inns and restaurants there.
After a few minutes, I arrive at a big square and it’s bustling with people. Really an interesting sight. A very lively place with lots of stands, merchants and customers. I walk around looking for a nice spot to eat at.
Entering one of the alleyways, I end up in front of The Whistling Grog. From the name and signboard, which looks like a beer mug surrounded by musical notes, I assume that’s it.
I take a peek inside through a small swingy door at a waist’s height. There are a few small groups of people sitting around, eating and drinking. I enter inside, sit at one of the tables close to the main counter and pick up a menu. Not being in the mood for any experiments, I decide on some eggs and potatoes.
After a minute or two, a man in his forties, wearing an apron over his clothes, approaches my table. He has quite a round belly, a slightly balding head and a bushy moustache.
“I don’t remember yer face. New around these parts, ay?” he speaks while cleaning a mug.
“Yes, it’s my first time here,” I answer honestly.
“Haha, great choice then! Whatcha gonna eat, dear sire? Or are we here for a drink?”
“I’ll settle for some eggs and potatoes today, thank you.”
“Comin’ right up.”
He returns to the counter and disappears behind a curtain. I can hear him yelling out some orders happily. After coming back, he picks up a clean mug, fills it up with something and walks to me again. He places it in front of me and sits on the opposite chair.
“A welcomin’ one for a fresh customer. Food’s gonna be here in a jiffy.”
I pick up the mug. A sweet scent enters my nostrils. Taking a small sip, I’m met with a very sweet mead. Quite good.
“Hahaha! Lower yer guard, will ya! It’s no poison!” He laughs heartily. “So. What’s yer deal in life if it ain’t a secret? Quite the decent clothes we have here.”
“Just a merchant starting a new business soon. I have a few coins in my pocket to supply myself,” I give a vague answer.
“Ooooh. What kind?”
“I’ve always dreamt of running an inn.”
“Oi, oi!” He slams the table with one hand and glares at me. “Ya better not be thinking ‘bout stealing my customers!” He squints his eyes for a moment but quickly erupts into laughter. “Hahaha! I’m just fuckin’ with ya!”
I chuckle at him. “No worries, I can take a joke. Also, you won’t be in danger. I’m going to focus mostly on having a nice place for people to stay. Who knows, I might even speak a good word about this humble abode if the food provides to be decent,” I say with a smile.
“Now we are talking! I better go lash the boys in the kitchen then!” He stands up and leaves while laughing.
Sometime later, he comes back with my food and we talk during the meal. Mostly about what kind of people eat here, what are our daily struggles and about a bunch of random things. After I finish, he takes my plate, we both stand up and I follow him to the main counter.
“It was quite good. I’ll definitely pay a visit once in a while,” I say.
“Glad to hear that!”
He takes my cutlery into his hands, opens one of two barrels standing behind the counter and throws the knife and fork into a blue liquid.
“One more fucking scratch on them and yer fucking dead!” he shouts into the barrel.
He closes it and picks up the plate. While holding it, he notices my confused expression. “What?”
“What was that liquid you shouted at?” I ask.
“Liquid?” He scratches his head. “Ah! That’s one of mah cleaning Slimes!” He taps the barrel with a fist.
“Slimes? Like the monster Slimes?” I ask even more confused.
“Ye, those little shitters. They can control their own acidity to melt what they want. Pretty useful as waste disposal. They gonna gobble up anything you throw at them! And with some training, they can clean plates too. But that’s still an annoying bunch, let me tell ya.” He gives the barrel a solid kick.
“Ah. I see. Quite a clever idea.”
“Thankies! But honestly, they are such pain in the as—ARGHHHH?!”
While sticking the dirty plate into the other barrel, full of green slime, he winces in pain and jumps back.
“YA LITTLE SHIT EATING BLOB OF GOBLIN TWO WEEK OLD CUMSTAIN!” he shouts while getting increasingly red, “I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” I notice a slight acidic burn on his hand.
He kicks the barrel so hard it bounces around behind the counter and rolls out from there to near where I’m standing. A green ooze starts spilling out of it. After it’s all out, it looks like a ball of green jelly around one meter in diameter. Moments later, it starts shifting and takes a weird… humanoid form? Now it kinda looks like a chubby mannequin or statue with carved hair and slight facial features and… it definitely has a feminine posture, judging by the front. I think the term THICC would fit it better. There’s a fist-sized ball floating inside the translucent jelly.
“RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
The innkeeper jumps over the counter and kicks the slime in its head, which splatters over the nearby tables, leaving it decapitated. Everyone around starts laughing or chuckling. This might not be the first time. The slime starts slowly reforming.
“Why does it look like a Human?”
I subconsciously voice out my thoughts with a hand over my chin. Then, I remember what I learned about a Slime’s evolution.
「A normal Slime can become a Greater Slime. After that, there’s a possibility that with enough time and sustenance, it will have a chance to evolve further into a King Slime or a Queen Slime, and those have the ability to slightly mimic more than just simple objects, but to mimic a humanoid...」
“Wait. The King or Queen Slime can assume the form of the prey it consumed the most before its evolution. Does that mean...”
The man shoves his hand into the reformed slime, grabs its core and yanks it out, which results in its body splashing onto the ground.
“Yer one hundred percent right.” He squeezes it hard. The fluid on the ground vibrates. “This fucker has feasted on at least one Human in the past.”
「Queen Slimes are believed to be much more intelligent than the other ones. Even as much as to—」
“Today was yer last time ya burned me!”
The man raises his hand with the core high, preparing to slam it into the ground. Having to act quickly, I try to speak with the most indifferent tone I can.
“Wait a moment.”
“Ey?” He stops his throw.
“It would be a waste to kill it.”
“Mayhaps, but I have no more patience for those fuckers! I won them in cards anyway.”
“Why not sell them to me then?”
“And whatever ya would need them for?” he asks while raising his brow.
“Your previous insult gave me an idea,” I say with a grin. “Some say that they can taste whatever they consume. So, instead of an easy way out for them, why not let me use it as a toilet cleaner in my inn? There will be plenty of shit there.” I wink at him. “You get rid of them and I get a pretty useful tool. Hm?”
“Ooooooooh…” He flashes a knowing grin and hurls the core into the puddle of slime, which starts gathering again. “I love it! Imagine a life full of licking shit!”
The sound of someone almost throwing up in the distance wanders through the place.
“Whooops… Hahaha, got a bit too picturey there!” He laughs and slams my back. “Let’s stop this shit talk and do business! Five gold coins per barrel!”
「Thank fucking god it worked. I literally came up with that at the spot.」
“Really? Five gold coins for a barrel of some jelly? Best I can do is two.” I jab him with my elbow.
“No frickin’ way! I’m doing you a favour. Four!” He jabs me back.
“My toilets are quite crucial for this plan to work, three and a half, no more.” I escape his hold, stand in front of him and extend my hand.
“Fine! That’s still better than getting nothing after killing ‘em.” He grabs and shakes it. “I’ll send mah boys to go with you and carry the barrels.” He backs off and shouts for someone while stuffing the slime back into the barrel with his leg.
“Ah! I almost forgot!” He slaps his forehead. “I bought them both a ring infused with a Stone Needle in case they ever thought about attacking the ol’ me. Drop a lil’ bit of blood onto it later. It will work with just thought after that, targeting the core.”
“...”
I leave with two young guys carrying the Slimes. When my mansion is in sight, I tell them to leave the rest to my employees and to go back to their boss. No need for them to know where I live. They happily jog back. I carry the barrels one by one to the main hall and open them.
The slimes slowly spill out and take their forms. Now that I can take a closer look, the green one is around one head shorter than me while the blue one is only like a few centimetres or so less than me. Their figures are pretty plain, but with more details on their still translucent faces. Both have quite short ‘hair’. The blue one has something akin to a braid lying on its shoulder. I guess those were the looks of one of the Humans they consumed in the past.
「Great going, Al! You haven’t even received the deed to this place and you are already picking up people… Or monsters… What now?」
“Do you understand Common?” I try asking for some reaction.
They both nod.
「Good. And they seem to have a grasp on some non-verbal responses.」
“I assume you aren’t able to speak, right?”
They look at each other for a moment. Well, if you can say that, since they don’t see with their eyes, but sense with their cores. Then, they shake their heads sideways.
“Well then. Let’s establish some easy signs for easier communication. For yes and no you nod and shake your head as you did previously. For maybe, I don’t know, perhaps, you do this.” I extend my arm a bit and rotate my hand a few times sideways. “For the more complex answers, I guess you can try acting with your hands or something. We will figure that out later.”
I move the empty barrels to the side while they stand in place. I walk to the front door and cast Notice on it, setting it up so it activates when someone hits or opens the door and sends me a mental ping. Just in case.
“Come with me.”
I pick up a key from the reception and walk to one of the rooms.
“You can assume any form you are comfortable with. No need to stay Human.”
They nod but don’t change. I grab a chair and sit on it near the bed.
“Don’t just stand in the middle of the room. Sit on the bed.”
They look at each other and reluctantly plop themselves onto the sheets.
“First of all, did both of you hear my conversation with the innkeeper?”
They nod and lower their gazes down to the ground.
“Good. Everything I said was a lie,” I announce calmly.
Both of them look up at me in something akin to surprise and confusion painted over their faces.
“There are a lot of questions I’d like to ask, but let’s begin with a short explanation.”
Saileri
Also, similar as with the Hero Sigil, I did a little sketch of the mansion. Not that important, but eh, why not. Here it is.
We glance over the entrance. Two-steps-high round elevation with four pillars upholding a small roof over it. With a half-mahogany half-glass wooden double doors, it reminds you of those high star hotel entrances.
Moving inside we are met with a breathtaking sight. A big lobby hall out of white marble and dark mahogany too. It’s quite spacious and two levels high. To the left and right, there are four groups of chairs and sofas with tables, two per side. Definitely as waiting areas.
At half of the hall’s length, there’s a beautiful reception placed in the middle. A wide desk with lots of small boxes hanging on the short wall behind it, most likely for the room keys. There is a door to its left and right. Just beside each door on the sides, marble stairs are going up halfway, then they turn inwards and join in the middle, above the reception, leading to the visible second level in the other half of this hall. An entrance hall straight out of a rich noble’s fantasy mansion.
The second level extends up there to the end of the room. We can only see some furniture and doors from our position. There are walkways with railings on both sides that lead back in the direction of the reception and give access to the second level of the mansion’s corridors to the west and east wings. They are exactly above the ones on the bottom level which we are on.
Not gonna lie, this is not a sight I was expecting to see anywhere else than in fiction and the highest class hotels reserved for celebrities. The view down from these walkways must be amazing. And that huge chandelier fits perfectly.
I walk closer to the reception, staring at everything in awe. When I reach it, I can see into the corridors leading to the sides, and man, there are at least twelve doors in my sight and walls turn left, creating those long wings of the mansion we saw from the outside. There must be at least twice as many rooms in those segments. And there’s that second level too.
「There’s no way he wants to give this to me, right? This must be one of the most luxurious places in the city.」
The butler arrives at my side. I pick one of the keys from the reception and we walk to a room in the left corridor. I open it and take a glance inside. It’s quite spacious and in the same style as the main hall. A nice double bed, some furniture, a desk with a working area, a table with some chairs. There’s a door leading to the room adjacent to this. Interesting idea. If you come with someone, you can have rooms by each other and pick up an additional key in case you want to cross without having to go outside.
We come back to the main hall and go through the doors by the reception. There are many tables with benches and chairs arranged in patterns here. I assume this is some kind of a dining area. We explore the doors that lead out of it and find an entrance to a big kitchen on the left. It looks well equipped and prepared to suffice for serving a lot of people.
Going the other way, we stumble on most likely the cleaning department. There are a lot of various tools and devices here. Also, storage for sheets, tableware and stuff like that. In both places, there are also doors further which lead to a narrow corridor with smaller rooms. Servant quarters if I were to guess. On both of its ends, there are stairs up, but we go back to the main hall and then use those stairs to check the second level.
Up there we see a recreational area half the size of the dining room below. Some more sofas and tables and a small counter to serve alcohol and snacks. It ends up with a set of double doors.
We pass through them and going right we find an indoor bath, split into three sections—male, female and mixed. We enter one and are met with a big pool, areas to clean yourself by the walls and some space to relax outside of the pool. It’s naturally empty right now. Everything in the usual mahogany-marble style.
Going left, we find a library with a lot of books. Finally, we reach a similar narrow corridor as the one which is most likely currently under us, on the level below. There are also some rooms here but with much more fancy doors. We check the ones looking the best.
We enter a room that literally screams VIP Penthouse the moment you step in. It’s around two times the size of the other room we checked before. There are two big beds, which would easily fit at least five people each. A lot of masterfully crafted furniture with big wardrobes and shelves. There’s also a small personal bath and a toilet behind a door. Two work areas, a small personal library and a half-glass door to a balcony. From there, you have a view into a small but charming garden behind the mansion.
The garden has some benches, two small wooden bowers and is surrounded by path-making low hedges. There’s also a quite small pond there.
Checking out the other rooms in that corridor, they look similar to the ones on the bottom floor but slightly better equipped. We move back to the main entrance. I sigh and turn to the silent butler.
“What exactly is this place?”
“It was meant to be a high-class residence for anyone who had money and wanted to live comfortably while visiting the city. Something akin to a royal inn, but not reserved only for nobles.”
“As expected. I guess it didn’t garner enough attention or guests and was closed.”
The butler bitterly smiles.
“Not exactly, it was quite popular.”
“Why was it abandoned then?” I ask curiously.
“It has been revealed that the owner wasn’t particularly a good man and the whole thing was a ruse to try a heist on the castle’s treasury.”
“What? How would that even help? We are on the border of the noble district, quite a distance from it.”
“There’s a tunnel starting in this mansion’s dungeon which connects to the castle. It was supposed to be a job from both inside and outside.”
I assume a fully surprised expression.
「Those guys must have really had balls to even try to rob the King. But man… To dig a tunnel and manage to connect it to the castle...」
I marvel over their dedication and planning. This would make for a good movie back at home. While I’m doing so, the butler speaks again.
“So… What do you think about this place, Sir Carter? Does it suit your needs?”
I look at him and think for a moment. Yes, this fits more than my needs. It has quite everything you could want even in the future. But… Isn’t it kinda too rich and special to just give away?
「Wait… A secret tunnel to the castle… No way... 」
I clap my hands and start laughing.
“Hahaha! So that’s it!”
The butler gazes at me in confusion.
“Ah, sorry, don’t mind me. Yes, it’s perfect. You can inform the King that I’ll claim it,” I say with a smile.
“Great! I’ll excuse myself now, then. You can already consider this place yours, Sir Carter. Till we meet again.” He bows and leaves through the main entrance.
“Haaaaaaaaah. For real… Going as far as giving me a huge mansion just because it has a secret tunnel leading to the castle… It will really help those nobles visit without any risk.”
Quite tired, I only check out how the bath works. There are some Mana Crystals infused with the water element to fill the pool and similar ones with ice and fire ones to control the temperature. Even if someone is not talented in magic, every race and entity has mana running through their bodies, allowing them to activate those crystals with just a touch. They are not imbued with some complex enchantments. Just basic ones like Create Water. The temperature controlling ones are most likely Heat Wave and Cold Wave.
After thirty minutes of waiting, I properly wash myself in a godly, hot bath. The steamy atmosphere is something else. Then, I go straight to bed. Naturally, the best one.
※ ※ ※
I wake up quite rested and move to the kitchen, but the moment I put my hands on its doorknob, I realize that it’s pointless. There’s nothing I can get here. And if there is, I don’t think I should even try it.
「There’s so much stuff to arrange and prepare… Oh well. Can’t think on an empty stomach.」
I dress up and walk out. It’s still morning time. People are wandering through the streets, walking most likely to their workplaces. Since I’m not far from it, I enter the mercantile district. There are many inns and restaurants there.
After a few minutes, I arrive at a big square and it’s bustling with people. Really an interesting sight. A very lively place with lots of stands, merchants and customers. I walk around looking for a nice spot to eat at.
Entering one of the alleyways, I end up in front of The Whistling Grog. From the name and signboard, which looks like a beer mug surrounded by musical notes, I assume that’s it.
I take a peek inside through a small swingy door at a waist’s height. There are a few small groups of people sitting around, eating and drinking. I enter inside, sit at one of the tables close to the main counter and pick up a menu. Not being in the mood for any experiments, I decide on some eggs and potatoes.
After a minute or two, a man in his forties, wearing an apron over his clothes, approaches my table. He has quite a round belly, a slightly balding head and a bushy moustache.
“I don’t remember yer face. New around these parts, ay?” he speaks while cleaning a mug.
“Yes, it’s my first time here,” I answer honestly.
“Haha, great choice then! Whatcha gonna eat, dear sire? Or are we here for a drink?”
“I’ll settle for some eggs and potatoes today, thank you.”
“Comin’ right up.”
He returns to the counter and disappears behind a curtain. I can hear him yelling out some orders happily. After coming back, he picks up a clean mug, fills it up with something and walks to me again. He places it in front of me and sits on the opposite chair.
“A welcomin’ one for a fresh customer. Food’s gonna be here in a jiffy.”
I pick up the mug. A sweet scent enters my nostrils. Taking a small sip, I’m met with a very sweet mead. Quite good.
“Hahaha! Lower yer guard, will ya! It’s no poison!” He laughs heartily. “So. What’s yer deal in life if it ain’t a secret? Quite the decent clothes we have here.”
“Just a merchant starting a new business soon. I have a few coins in my pocket to supply myself,” I give a vague answer.
“Ooooh. What kind?”
“I’ve always dreamt of running an inn.”
“Oi, oi!” He slams the table with one hand and glares at me. “Ya better not be thinking ‘bout stealing my customers!” He squints his eyes for a moment but quickly erupts into laughter. “Hahaha! I’m just fuckin’ with ya!”
I chuckle at him. “No worries, I can take a joke. Also, you won’t be in danger. I’m going to focus mostly on having a nice place for people to stay. Who knows, I might even speak a good word about this humble abode if the food provides to be decent,” I say with a smile.
“Now we are talking! I better go lash the boys in the kitchen then!” He stands up and leaves while laughing.
Sometime later, he comes back with my food and we talk during the meal. Mostly about what kind of people eat here, what are our daily struggles and about a bunch of random things. After I finish, he takes my plate, we both stand up and I follow him to the main counter.
“It was quite good. I’ll definitely pay a visit once in a while,” I say.
“Glad to hear that!”
He takes my cutlery into his hands, opens one of two barrels standing behind the counter and throws the knife and fork into a blue liquid.
“One more fucking scratch on them and yer fucking dead!” he shouts into the barrel.
He closes it and picks up the plate. While holding it, he notices my confused expression. “What?”
“What was that liquid you shouted at?” I ask.
“Liquid?” He scratches his head. “Ah! That’s one of mah cleaning Slimes!” He taps the barrel with a fist.
“Slimes? Like the monster Slimes?” I ask even more confused.
“Ye, those little shitters. They can control their own acidity to melt what they want. Pretty useful as waste disposal. They gonna gobble up anything you throw at them! And with some training, they can clean plates too. But that’s still an annoying bunch, let me tell ya.” He gives the barrel a solid kick.
“Ah. I see. Quite a clever idea.”
“Thankies! But honestly, they are such pain in the as—ARGHHHH?!”
While sticking the dirty plate into the other barrel, full of green slime, he winces in pain and jumps back.
“YA LITTLE SHIT EATING BLOB OF GOBLIN TWO WEEK OLD CUMSTAIN!” he shouts while getting increasingly red, “I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” I notice a slight acidic burn on his hand.
He kicks the barrel so hard it bounces around behind the counter and rolls out from there to near where I’m standing. A green ooze starts spilling out of it. After it’s all out, it looks like a ball of green jelly around one meter in diameter. Moments later, it starts shifting and takes a weird… humanoid form? Now it kinda looks like a chubby mannequin or statue with carved hair and slight facial features and… it definitely has a feminine posture, judging by the front. I think the term THICC would fit it better. There’s a fist-sized ball floating inside the translucent jelly.
“RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
The innkeeper jumps over the counter and kicks the slime in its head, which splatters over the nearby tables, leaving it decapitated. Everyone around starts laughing or chuckling. This might not be the first time. The slime starts slowly reforming.
“Why does it look like a Human?”
I subconsciously voice out my thoughts with a hand over my chin. Then, I remember what I learned about a Slime’s evolution.
「A normal Slime can become a Greater Slime. After that, there’s a possibility that with enough time and sustenance, it will have a chance to evolve further into a King Slime or a Queen Slime, and those have the ability to slightly mimic more than just simple objects, but to mimic a humanoid...」
“Wait. The King or Queen Slime can assume the form of the prey it consumed the most before its evolution. Does that mean...”
The man shoves his hand into the reformed slime, grabs its core and yanks it out, which results in its body splashing onto the ground.
“Yer one hundred percent right.” He squeezes it hard. The fluid on the ground vibrates. “This fucker has feasted on at least one Human in the past.”
「Queen Slimes are believed to be much more intelligent than the other ones. Even as much as to—」
“Today was yer last time ya burned me!”
The man raises his hand with the core high, preparing to slam it into the ground. Having to act quickly, I try to speak with the most indifferent tone I can.
“Wait a moment.”
“Ey?” He stops his throw.
“It would be a waste to kill it.”
“Mayhaps, but I have no more patience for those fuckers! I won them in cards anyway.”
“Why not sell them to me then?”
“And whatever ya would need them for?” he asks while raising his brow.
“Your previous insult gave me an idea,” I say with a grin. “Some say that they can taste whatever they consume. So, instead of an easy way out for them, why not let me use it as a toilet cleaner in my inn? There will be plenty of shit there.” I wink at him. “You get rid of them and I get a pretty useful tool. Hm?”
“Ooooooooh…” He flashes a knowing grin and hurls the core into the puddle of slime, which starts gathering again. “I love it! Imagine a life full of licking shit!”
The sound of someone almost throwing up in the distance wanders through the place.
“Whooops… Hahaha, got a bit too picturey there!” He laughs and slams my back. “Let’s stop this shit talk and do business! Five gold coins per barrel!”
「Thank fucking god it worked. I literally came up with that at the spot.」
“Really? Five gold coins for a barrel of some jelly? Best I can do is two.” I jab him with my elbow.
“No frickin’ way! I’m doing you a favour. Four!” He jabs me back.
“My toilets are quite crucial for this plan to work, three and a half, no more.” I escape his hold, stand in front of him and extend my hand.
“Fine! That’s still better than getting nothing after killing ‘em.” He grabs and shakes it. “I’ll send mah boys to go with you and carry the barrels.” He backs off and shouts for someone while stuffing the slime back into the barrel with his leg.
“Ah! I almost forgot!” He slaps his forehead. “I bought them both a ring infused with a Stone Needle in case they ever thought about attacking the ol’ me. Drop a lil’ bit of blood onto it later. It will work with just thought after that, targeting the core.”
“...”
I leave with two young guys carrying the Slimes. When my mansion is in sight, I tell them to leave the rest to my employees and to go back to their boss. No need for them to know where I live. They happily jog back. I carry the barrels one by one to the main hall and open them.
The slimes slowly spill out and take their forms. Now that I can take a closer look, the green one is around one head shorter than me while the blue one is only like a few centimetres or so less than me. Their figures are pretty plain, but with more details on their still translucent faces. Both have quite short ‘hair’. The blue one has something akin to a braid lying on its shoulder. I guess those were the looks of one of the Humans they consumed in the past.
「Great going, Al! You haven’t even received the deed to this place and you are already picking up people… Or monsters… What now?」
“Do you understand Common?” I try asking for some reaction.
They both nod.
「Good. And they seem to have a grasp on some non-verbal responses.」
“I assume you aren’t able to speak, right?”
They look at each other for a moment. Well, if you can say that, since they don’t see with their eyes, but sense with their cores. Then, they shake their heads sideways.
“Well then. Let’s establish some easy signs for easier communication. For yes and no you nod and shake your head as you did previously. For maybe, I don’t know, perhaps, you do this.” I extend my arm a bit and rotate my hand a few times sideways. “For the more complex answers, I guess you can try acting with your hands or something. We will figure that out later.”
I move the empty barrels to the side while they stand in place. I walk to the front door and cast Notice on it, setting it up so it activates when someone hits or opens the door and sends me a mental ping. Just in case.
“Come with me.”
I pick up a key from the reception and walk to one of the rooms.
“You can assume any form you are comfortable with. No need to stay Human.”
They nod but don’t change. I grab a chair and sit on it near the bed.
“Don’t just stand in the middle of the room. Sit on the bed.”
They look at each other and reluctantly plop themselves onto the sheets.
“First of all, did both of you hear my conversation with the innkeeper?”
They nod and lower their gazes down to the ground.
“Good. Everything I said was a lie,” I announce calmly.
Both of them look up at me in something akin to surprise and confusion painted over their faces.
“There are a lot of questions I’d like to ask, but let’s begin with a short explanation.”
Saileri
Also, similar as with the Hero Sigil, I did a little sketch of the mansion. Not that important, but eh, why not. Here it is.
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