Chapter 5: Squats

The next few days, An Youxi ran to Ran Ningmu’s military practice every day with the camera. 

Based on the curious gazes of their classmates which were all following Ran Ningmu, the great masters should have all seen the first page where, for several days, there had been a red hot newly-married announcement…no, gossip post.

An Youxi had thick skin, unafraid of what others had to say, and, of course, he himself also had his own selfish motives, it’s just that he had no idea whether Ran Ningmu was happy or unhappy when seeing it….

Thinking that way, An Youxi went to ask the other party straightforwardly and directly.

“Does senior mind?” Unexpectedly, Ran Ningmu asked in turn after hearing An Youxi’s worry. “These rumours about your supposed love affair with me.”

‘Do you mind being entangled with me?’

“No, no, don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mind at all,” An Youxi shook his head like rattle drum, paused, threw a darting look at Ran Ningmu and, while picking at the hem of his shirt, said very carefully, “I was mainly afraid that you would mind….”

“I don’t mind!” he suddenly exclaimed, startling An Youxi.

Meeting An Youxi’s frightened clear eyes, like that of a small animal, Ran Ningmu gently drew in a breath, secretly warning himself to not frighten the other party, and spoke in a soft tone: “Strictly speaking, this is nevertheless me taking advantage of senior. Senior, just don’t be angry.”

“How could I….” ‘I can’t wait to be entangled with you ne, could you directly lock us together?’

If Ran Ningmu knew what the other side was thinking in his mind, then immediately without saying anything, he would have snatched the key from An Youxi’s hand and swallowed it!

However it’s a pity that, although the two of them were virgins, neither of them was 30 and thus didn’t have any mind-reading skills. [1]

An Youxi and Ran Ningmu looked at each other and smiled while simultaneously sighing emotionally in their hearts– ‘He really is a truly very gentle person ah.’

……

On the morning of the fourth day, An Youxi, who no longer had the camera as a cover, came over with his backpack on his back. 

Ran Ningmu greeted him and, upon noticing that both of An Youxi’s hands were empty, asked: “Senior, you have finished taking photos?”

“Ah yes,” An Youxi held out an old and useless newspaper to spread out on the stone table and bench, and, while taking out a book from his backpack, casually explained, “Before, I was helping the University Newspaper Association take photos of the military training, now that the photos have all been taken, only returning the camera was left.”

Ran Ningmu pursed his lips when he what these words, and An Youxi wasn’t sure if he was deliberately deluding himself that the other party was willing to be entangled with him, but An Youxi couldn’t help but feel like Ran Ningmu’s voice was a bit downcast: “Then from now on I wouldn’t be able to see senior any more….”

‘What ah! Isn’t this acting too coquettishly? Is this how boys are appearing to be polite now!’ An Youxi screamed in his heart but his voice remained clear and pleasant [2]: “Unlikely ah, the little grove here is very nice and cool, in the future I intend to stay here to study, you, you would still be able to see me.”

Ran Ningmu: “So it’s like that ah, then would senior like to come with me to the canteen to have breakfast?”

‘En?’ An Youxi raised his head with a whoosh, eyes sparkling as they looked at him. ‘It turns out, there is such a good thing in the mortal world?’

Ran Ningmu coughed lightly: “My roommate and them got up relatively late and are unable to go to the canteen, it seems like senior is also by himself, so would you like to keep me company?”

“Want!” An Youxi nearly raised his legs, let alone his hand, in his hurry to agree and didn’t lose any time in following up, “Look, we will eat our breakfast together, but how about also eating lunch and dinner together ba, my roommates, they prefer to order takeaway and don’t like to eat in the canteen, I will also be alone for lunch and dinner.”

An Youxi, this clever little ghost, directly took hold of the words Ran Ningmu had used while persuading him to get ahead. After saying all that, he eagerly looked at Ran Ningmu. These eyes, which were full of hopeful anticipation, made Ran Ningmu momentarily doubt whether or not he was excessively self-aware. Otherwise why would he see himself so clearly in the other party’s eyes, so bright and shining, as if all he could see in that moment was himself…..

Okay ba, it must be him who was thinking too much, it’s obviously just that the other party’s eyes were beautiful, nothing more complex than that.

Ran Ningmu’s mind was full of ‘It turns out, there is such a good thing in the mortal world?’ and, in a way that was gentle and polite but not too humorous or lively, he agreed by forming an OK symbol with his hand.

An Youxi’s eyes turned into a gentle curve, and within his eyes, it seemed as if Ran Ningmu’s reflection also rippled: “Then it’s all settled la.”

……

They hadn’t even said a few words before the military instructor shouted the order to assemble so, even though Ran Ningmu was reluctant, he could only honestly and conscientiously rejoin the ranks. 

The military training instructors were, for the most part, were seniors who had joined the army and came back to further their education so the difference in age between them and Ran Ningmu was only a couple of years. Boys at that age were all more or less rambunctious so usually, in addition to the formal training, the instructors would also take the student to play some more interesting games.

On days like today, where it was estimated that the rate of progress was very fast, the instructor proposed to play “Eagle VS Chickens” [3].

One instructor generally was responsible for two classes so the two classes would be automatically divided into two teams, with one student from each team taking on the role of “hen”, and then the two “hens” would start catching each other’s “chicks”. Since there was no “eagle” in this game, the instructors had renamed it as “Hen VS Chickens”. However, in private, the junior brothers and sisters preferred to call it “Vegetables and  Chickens Pecking at Each Other” [4].

Ran Ningmu was the tallest in the class so he was offered up as a “hen” on the spot with most of the girls behind him only reaching up to his shoulders, it made him really stand out like a crane amongst chickens.

One class could have about 20 people, so the two classes together were nearly 50 people. 50 chickens were scurrying about, one had to only think to know how tragic the scene was. An Youxi was watching very happily and stealthily used his phone to take a lot of high quality photos.

In the end, Ran Ningmu’s class lost.

The main reason was that Ran Ningmu ran too quickly to the point of directly throwing away all the “chickens” behind him until he could only be grasped at the neck by the other side’s “hen”.

The military instructor smiled and said: “50 squats each for the losing team, can it be done ah?”

The boys all spoke at once:

“It’s out of the question for real men to say no!”

“Isn’t it only 50 squats? Laozi [5] can do 100 all while holding my girlfriend!”

“Fuck, this can also be shown off? How are we, single dogs, supposed to live?”

“Okay ah, since you guys want to carry people in your arms, I’ll give you a chance,” the instructor couldn’t disrespect the significance of the bustling scene, “Combined squats, those who want to squat – find somebody to embrace, those who are being embraced don’t need to do squats, you can all now start inviting the objects of your heart’s affection.” 

After a small pause, he added another sentence: it’s not a requirement of it to be a man and woman ah.”

“Hahaha, how stimulating!”

“Baby [6]? Do you want gege to baby you?” [7]

“Scram ah! Are you sick hahaha!”

An Youxi was holding his tears to the point of suffocating, privately thinking that the military instructor is a wonderful person. Then, in the next second, he saw one of the girls walking towards Ran Ningmu.

An Youxi: Smile Instantly Vanishing.jpg

……

“Ran Ningmu.”

Ran Ningmu lowered his gaze, it was the girl he had helped out earlier. In that moment, the girl’s face was a pure red as she stood in front of him and bashfully called out his name.

“Ran Ningmu, have you found a partner yet ah? Would you like to join me?”

Although the girl was shy, she tilted her head and looked straight into Ran Ningmu’s eyes. Her bold behaviour, which was totally completely different from her appearance, caused Ran Ningmu to feel a bit surprised. 

In his two seconds of daze, Ran Ningmu rapidly amassed a circle of melon eaters [8] around himself, causing him to suspect whether they had antennas on their head to receive gossip signals – at the first hint of a rumour, they came over to swarm him like moths.

“Ran Ningmu, don’t just keep rubbing, directly shoot [9], in the end are you a man or not ah?”

“Exactly, exactly, can’t you see that the other family’s sister is taking the initiative to invite you? Why not hurry up and answer la!”

‘Your mother [10], are these people so idle?’ Ran Ningmu pushed back his hair in irritation, his eyes drifting towards the person in front of him, and tsked. ‘Somewhat difficult ah.’

He looked at the girl: “I’m sorry, I….”

Ran Ningmu was going to organise his words to politely reject the other party when An Youxi unexpectedly appeared next to Ran Ningmu as if rising out of the ground, startling both Ran Ningmu and the girl.

“I’ll do it ba….” An Youxi stared at the girl’s silly expression and spoke looming [11].

“Oh, alright.” the girl looked at An Youxi, then at Ran Ningmu, nodded absent-mindedly, turned around and stiffly walked away.

“Fuck! The Empress is here!” a boy who had brainwashed by the forum post said with a shocked face. 

Others also clamoured to discuss:

“What’s going on ah? Isn’t this An Youxi? What’s he doing here?”

“Can these two be real ba?”

……

“Senior? How come you are here?”

An Youxi was stunned for a moment, looked up to meet Ran Ningmu’s surprised eyes, and reacted, as if to an afterthought to what he had just done, his face turning completely red. “It looked like you had encountered a troublesome situation, so I came over to help you……”

The more he talked, the lower his voice got, and by the end his voice was as quiet as the buzzing of a mosquito, and couldn’t even produce any words.

‘Oh god, oh god, oh god….’ What the hell was he doing ah! ‘Why come, why come directly running to other people’s class ne?’

“Have you all found your partners? If you’ve found them, start counting ah!” the instructor, this wonderful person, who must have grown up eating love-filled Bugles [12], glanced at Ran Ningmu and An Youxi, and spoke with the calmness of the Heavens, “Requesting outside help is also fine.”

There was a sudden burst of laughter.

An Youxi had absolutely no face left to meet people so he covered his face only wanting to flee but before he could even think of taking a single step, his wrist was tightly grasped by Ran Ningmu. An Youxi didn’t know whether it was his illusion or not but he seemed to hear the girls screaming and the boys cursing “Fuck!”

“Senior, didn’t you come to help me?”

Ran Ningmu, this little Pomelo’s favourite type of heavenly vegetable [13], was not the slightest bit affected by sounds surrounding them, was watching An Youxi as if he were looking at an angel. This man, how kindhearted must he be, to bravely come forth in such a situation. Also senior he….turns out is paying at least a little bit of attention to him ba?

“You chased away my partner, shouldn’t you compensate me?”

An Youxi: ?!

‘This- this- this-, this man, in the end, can he speak or not ah! The teamwork partner is the teamwork partner, why are you saying it in such an ambiguous way!’ 

“How to compensate ah……,” An Youxi’s rapid heartbeat caused his voice to tremble. ‘Don’t tell me it’s necessary for me to compensate you!’

Ran Ningmu’s eyes, which were looking at An Youxi’s crimson ears, squinted slightly, and he spoke in a deep low voice: “Compensate me with yourself.”

An Youxi: …..

An Youxi felt like he was about to faint and pass away.

“Say yes to him!”

It was unknown exactly which idle fart of dage[14] suddenly howled out with his whole larynx.

In an instant, as if the melon field had been struck by sudden thunder, the melon onlookers raised their hands one after another and uniformly echoed:

“Say yes to him!”

“Say yes to him!”

“Say yes to him!”

Just as if they were shouting “Marry him”, “Marry him”, “Marry him”. [15]

‘Sick ba! All these people!’ Just when An Youxi was about to explode from shame, the military instructor suddenly shouted “Start”.

??

Now An Youxi suspected that this instructor not only grew up eating Bungles but he even lived in Mickey Mouse’s Fun House! [16] 

“The sweat on my body…asking senior to please bear with this grievance.”

“Ah?”

An Youxi’s head was moved without a warning and suddenly, without any warning, two arms, wrapped up in a buttoned-up military training coat, lifted him up, making his body feel light and his field of vision rotate, as Ran Ningmu picked him up by the waist.

In a daze, An Youxi heard Ran Ningmu’s low voice ringing out above his head. The vibrations from Ran Ningmu’s chest wrapped around the skin of An Youxi’s arm, causing half of his body to soften and melt.

Ran Ningmu spoke: “Hold tightly onto my clothes.”

However, before the words left his mouth, An Youxi had already reflexively wrapped his arms around Ran Ningmu’s neck.

Whistles quickly erupted around them, kicking up a fuss.

Ran Ningmu raised his eyebrows in surprise.

An Youxi, whose hands had moved faster than his brain: “……”

‘Ah, this damned instinct of mine.’

The author has something to say: 

Pomelo: Hold onto what clothes? We are seduced to go directly for the neck.

–

Melon eaters: Ehe, exciting, really nice!

Author trying to blend in: Say yes to him! Say yes to him!