77 – 77. Self-Blame
Why does everyone misunderstand Alan?
‘Even those who volunteered to follow me are saying such things.’
Victoria sighed as a bitter feeling welled up within her.
Managing her faction was originally the responsibility of her uncles, Hayden Wolpole and Ian Wolpole. Both were active-duty division commanders.
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If they wanted, they could have been promoted to army commanders or chief of staff, but instead, they chose to support her, their grateful niece.
However, at this moment, her uncles were tearing into Alan.
“Maydoph Pharmaceuticals is set to monopolize the silver vein mining rights…! You can’t just stand by!”
Like this.
To be precise, they were attacking Alan by using Colonel Granby Jazak as a front. They were just watching from the side. Probably egging him on.
“…If the General is also eyeing the rights to the large-scale forest, there’s no need to tell me. I have no intention of arranging any privileges.”
“What I want to say is not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“It seems that Her Majesty the Queen… supports Lady Siena. This is a big problem.”
“…….”
In the end, it’s about this.
It’s a suspicious situation. Siena immediately took the mining rights after meeting the Queen. Silver is a commodity used in trade with the Kingdom of Jin. It was a situation where they could have reached some kind of agreement. Perhaps the Queen might offer more favors in the future.
Lord Granby seemed to suspect that Alan was behind it all.
“Alan Maydoph, the one who single-handedly destroyed the elves, isn’t he? Moreover, it’s well-known that Her Majesty can’t live without Silocybin…! This time, Alan Maydoph probably instigated Lady Siena to meet Her Majesty the Queen!”
At this point, it seemed more like certainty than suspicion.
Victoria sighed and looked at him.
“So what does that matter?”
“Your Majesty…?”
“The Empress may support Siena as a princess consort. Unfortunately, it’s not a problem I can interfere with.”
With these words, Granby’s face turned dumbfounded. Victoria’s uncles, who were standing beside her, had similar expressions.
“The Empress carries the burden of the empire. Besides, isn’t she a princess from there in the first place?”
“What did you say?”
“Your Majesty. Do you know how arrogant Jin Kingdom is? I visited Jin Kingdom as a diplomat nine years ago. But during a meeting to prevent their emperor, they outright told me to kneel…!”
“Granby.”
“No, not only did I kneel, but I even touched my forehead… I responded without realizing it, but it was so humiliating that it was hard to bear. Isn’t that enough? Jin Kingdom calls their emperor the ‘Master of Heaven.’ They don’t even believe in gods!”
What’s the big deal about kneeling…
“Well, honestly, it is quite humiliating.”
At this point, it was Alan who crossed Victoria’s mind again.
Alan Maydoff had knelt before her to supply morphine to the military.
Strictly speaking, it wasn’t even a supply, but he had asked to provide samples for free.
As a result, the veterans were liberated from pain, and currently, morphine was being used experimentally for elderly retired soldiers who were dying from malignant tumors.
“…There are people who kneel for soldiers whose faces they don’t even know.”
To kneel before the Jin Kingdom emperor for the sake of national interests and be disgusted by it.
And on top of that, treating someone who has lived as the Empress of the Empire for nearly 19 years simply as a foreigner because of her Eastern origins.
It was disorienting to see someone who was usually fine come out like this. Still, it was important to clear up the misunderstanding first.
“…Granby Manor. Alan’s victory over the elves was absolute, thanks to the military prowess of Lord Alan. It’s unreasonable to doubt just because he secured some mining rights for mere silver.”
“Mere silver? Do you know how much resources can be extracted with 10 tons of silver in the realm? If the influence of Medof Pharmaceuticals expands, it will be disadvantageous even for the crown!”
“Lord Alan has achieved significant merits.”
“What’s the use of merits? Because of his heroin, external relations have become more challenging. Even in the Tour Republic…”
“If the empire’s diplomats are competent, they can use the fear of heroin as a weapon on the diplomatic stage.”
…”
When Victoria drew the line, Granby Manor looked somewhat sullen. However, it didn’t take long for him to begin defending himself with an unjust expression.
“Why… are we, who work for the crown, defending Alan Medof, that malicious man? Do you not know how many people have met their end as Morning Stars or become victims because of that man?”
Is he nitpicking just because he’s not pleased? Surely not.
Victoria was speechless. It wasn’t the attitude expected from a mid-aged army general in his 40s.
“It seems talking won’t solve this. I need to crack down on the faction busy tearing apart Alan.”
Of course, it was uncomfortable for her.
Her support base was ultimately composed of in-laws, aunts, uncles, and cousins. And through them, the majority of the military’s connections that followed Victoria were established.
But there’s no way to go easy just because they’re close.
Sometimes it was necessary to remind them who the lord was.
“Your Highness, I truly…”
“Granby Manor… No, let the general scold. Let the in-laws listen as well.”
Hayden Wolpohl and Ian Wolpohl flinched for a moment at these words. However, they didn’t rebel.
“…Yes.”
“Cease the slander against Alan Kye here. Do not even attempt a political offensive against him. … This is not a request, but an order. If you truly aspire to make me a queen and seat me on the throne someday, listen without uttering a word.”
Not a request but a command.
Only now did the discontent towards Alan subside.
“…Apologies, Commander.”
Having gone this far, there would be no trivial actions. Although their attitude towards Alan felt disgraceful, Victoria believed their loyalty was sincere.
Commanding those who were nominally superior was not comfortable, but… she was willing to bear it willingly to protect Alan.
Honestly, this wasn’t enough.
‘I should express regret to Alan at least.’
It was proper etiquette to greet the knight who had achieved a great feat. Regardless of etiquette, she simply wanted to do it. Even after achieving a great feat, Alan was pitifully oppressed unfairly.
Victoria took prompt action without hesitation.
Victoria’s attendants, who were sent by the lord, exchanged glances with expressions tainted with a sense of defeat.
**
“Sorry, Alan Kye.”
The beauty with blonde hair suddenly came to my house and offered an apology.
It was more bewildering than pleasing. She was Princess Victoria, the first princess.
The place I live in is a three-story apartment mainly inhabited by mid-level bureaucrats. It wasn’t a place where nobles would visit, but in fact, it wasn’t the first time.
When there was a riot at the military hospital due to morphine, Victoria came and apologized in person.
And this time too, she apologized as soon as she met me.
‘A person who can’t bear self-blame. Even without any guilt.’
She was a consistent woman. Even the military uniform worn so tightly could make one feel uncomfortable.
Her body was indeed excellent, but she didn’t wear revealing clothes to show it off. It felt more like she was restraining herself. As a princess and a high-ranking officer, self-control was essential for her.
There was no need to ask why she had come to see me.
“No, Your Majesty Victoria. I have always been loyal and free from jealousy.”
“Even if you won’t receive a reward…”
“I will soon receive a title. It was only postponed at the request of Her Majesty Siena. Besides, didn’t my company secure the mining rights? It’s a generous reward considering it was just a three-month operation.”
“Did you really obtain those mining rights through extraordinary means?”
Instead of answering, I just smiled. It was as if I was asking why she was questioning me when she already knew.
Victoria looked at me with even more disdain.
With a short sigh and clenched fists, I could feel her excitement just by looking at her trembling irises.
Even though I had gone through unjust events, faced the royal scrutiny, and been manipulated by Siena, I must have appeared pitiful for enduring it all. Or perhaps it was because of my political position that she couldn’t actively protect me, causing her to feel self-reproach.
“Victoria is the only one who sees me that way.”
I thought it would be enough to end it here.
As I started to tidy up and bid farewell, Victoria suddenly averted her gaze and spoke. It seemed like something was bothering her.
“Allan, it’s embarrassing, but there are… many people around me who suspect you. It’s my fault for not managing it properly.”
“What do you mean?”
“But don’t worry. I have cracked down hard this time. They may have good intentions, but they are not villains.”
“…”
There must be factions following Victoria that are trying to restrain me. Or perhaps they were not just trying to restrain me but were also attempting something that she stopped. In fact, ever since Victoria’s uncle came to see me and I tried to keep my distance, things had been unusual.
“Will they give up just because Victoria said something?”
In my view, it was more likely that among themselves, they thought, “Our lord is naive and doesn’t know anything,” rather than trying to pass it off.
It was not about being evasive, but rather, it was the nature of excessive loyalty.
If you were a retainer who followed a lord with authenticity and influence but had not yet climbed to the top (the pinnacle of power), it was even more so. Whether it was a nation, a corporation, or a political party, it was all the same. Soon, without regard to Victoria’s intentions, they could attack me.
The only relief was that Victoria had informed me in advance.
I nonchalantly lifted my head.
And I said,
“I’m fine. And please don’t think too poorly of them. Restraining and doubting what one doesn’t know is human instinct. It’s true that I’ve committed heinous acts.”
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It was actually a suggestion to think of them as simple-minded. Just in case something happened, Victoria would support my side rather than her attendants.
Victoria looked at me with either a penetrating or blank expression, as if to determine if my intentions were sincere. Sensing some emotion, I faintly smiled, nodded my head, and said nothing more.
…
After a considerable amount of time, Victoria finally got into the carriage.
“Inspect, Your Excellency.”
“…Alright.”
She never took her gaze off me until the end.
As soon as I saw her off, I headed towards Sienna.
It was to repay her for suppressing my temper and even giving me a gift. It was necessary to continue living peacefully, so it was essential.
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