I Scored Myself A Mate

Warning: Depression

"No Allias. They are gone. Please don't do this to yourself. We have a mission now. We need to focus on this. To help the few of us who have remained. To avoid another war." 

"What if my people are still out there?" 

Allias stood up and felt a sharp pain on his back from the sudden movement. His muscles had been through so much the last few months he always felt tired. He couldn't get Achlys' words out of his head from the first moment she had opened her mouth. If there was even the slightest possibility how could he ever overlook that with confidence? Her mention brought to the surface a pain he had tried very hard to burry for now. A pain he knew it wasn't the time or place to let loose because he wouldn't be able to handle. That weight that made his curve and wither was great and now it would become a constant resident on his mind. 

"It's impossible I have searched everywhere" Theseus said and Allias give him a devastated look. Why couldn't he hope together with him? Was it that hard to say that he will look? That they would search together to find out if the demon queen's words were truth. 

"I don't believe you" Allias said raising steadily his tone. "I will search for them. Everywhere. It's unbelievable that a whole Tribe has been extinct."

"What do you mean you don't believe me?" Theseus asked with a frown. "Why would I ever lie to you? Tell me." 

"I don't know what you're thinking. I have been gone for too long." Allias said and his long fingers curled into powerful fists. He indeed had been gone for a huge amount of time. Everything around him had changed from the faces he recognized to the place he called home. Allias felt like he was a thing of the past, as if he didn't belong in this era. A stranger not only to himself but to everyone around him. He couldn't feel the warmth he used to, he didn't hear the laughter. This place, everything that has remained was different from what he knew and he was sure that sooner or later he would come to hate the deafening echo in the empty hallways or the always stern and cold faces of the servants. This was not what he wanted to experience once he got back. 

"What's wrong with you? Are you implying that I have changed? I waited for you, for so long…" Theseus said letting out a long sigh and he rubbed his forehead to try and push away an upcoming headache. He was disappointed at his words. He could see that Allias hadn't been fully happy with his return, he had wondered if it was because he hadn't remembered fully yet but this wasn't it. This place did not feel like home to him, he still felt derange and out of place and no matter how hard Theseus wondered what could be the cause, because now he was amongst his people, he couldn't give himself a certain answer. 

"Everything has changed! Nothing is the same and I hate it! I don't know anyone here; I am the king of simply a ghost kingdom. Where are the people? I feel like I don't belong here…I feel so alone." He confessed his voice breaking with every hurtful word. He rested his fist on the cold table, his knuckles still white from the pressure as he looked at Theseus. "This place does not feel like home." He said and his words could be equal to him shooting a deadly arrow through his heart. The general had tried so hard; he was preparing for years but he was unable to change the seasons. He was unable to make the people laugh.  He himself for many years couldn't laugh. All he had establish was building a lonely and depressed kingdom that Allias would hate. 

"I am sorry" Theseus mumbled. "I tried. I really did"

"Don't tell me you are sorry!" Allias shouted filled with boiling anger. "Why would you be sorry? For what exactly? It's not your fault everyone is dead. It's not your fault my home was destroyed it's not your fault that everything has turned cold and distant. It's not your fault that I am not happy anymore. That I am a stranger. It's…mine" Allias said and his words were filled with burning anguish. Those feeling had been bottled up from the moment he awakened. He tried to pretend that everything was fine. He tried to smile at the servants, be kind to them but all he would see was their bowing heads. There were no faces. Just shadows and brief encounters. He hated this place, he was locked in an icebox and had so many things to deal with from the moment he opened his eyes that he didn't even have the decency to visit his people's graves. 

"You are not happy?" Theseus said. He was sensing it. He could feel it that there was something behind his half smiles, his sighs and shaking hands. He had nightmares and every time something would happen he would seem devastated. Completely different than what he was before. 

"There is no one here like me. No one that I know. I am alone." Allias said and kicked the chair he had been previously sitting on. He crouched down and hit his face with his palms as the pieces of broken wood scattered all over the floor. He was lonely, so lonely. His friends. His family, they were all gone and he hadn't even said a goodbye. How could he begin anew? No matter how badly he wanted it. No matter how hard he had tried to accept it, that night that he looked at the ruins with Theseus how could he just forget them?

"I am here! I am right here with you! Right in front of you! Look at me dammit. I am still here. Ares is still here. Ea is still here. We are alive. We had been waiting for you.!" Theseus shouted and tried to approach him. He wanted to get him out of this depressing maze. Lead him to an exit, offer him a new beginning but this time he couldn't. he was scared to get close. As the elf king raised his head, his teary eyes, that radiant green, deadly as it pierced through him. He stood up.

"I am stuck Theseus. I am nothing more than a mere ghost. Time did not stop with my death and I can't catch up. So I do not care If I am delusional. If there is only one percent possibility to find them. This is a change I cannot stand. I can't live with it!" 

"You were fine before!"

"No I wasn't. I freaking wasn't fine. Don't lie to yourself. I am just trying to be fine. Adjust to everything. To the responsibilities, to the disaster to every single bad thing here. My mentality is so bad that I don't seem to be able to get my powers back! I am just stuck in a time I will never get back and it hurts." 

He was not trying to put the blame on anyone. Who could be at fault for this after all? He just wanted someone to understand his pain. The endless struggle to find the strength to get up in the morning. The constant day dreaming of the impossible. He needed someone to know how it feels like to be tired all the time. He was trying so hard to find even a spec of strength inside him, to be happy that he was alive but all he felt was death and darkness. He was stuck in an endless cycle of being scared and sad. Stuck in dreaming during the day about a future he wished to have and having nightmares during the night of everything he had lost. His feet were rooted to the ground and he just couldn't move. His hands would bleed from trying to remove these merciless thorny vines that seemed to cover and prick at his body more and more but they were unbreakable. He was all alone, filled with pain and painted red by his own blood. The need for someone to understand was bone breaking leaving him helpless once more but no one seemed to be around. 

"Allias I don't know what to say to you" Theseus said. No matter what he told him he figured out it would be pointless. He wanted to be there for him, say soothing words but what could soothe the pain of losing your world? Everything that you knew. "I want to try. I want to help you be happy again. Can we try together?" He asked him and tended his hand. His heart was beating so loudly like a drum in the old parades. The sound overtook everything around him and he could even feel the flow of his blood. He looked at Allias anticipating for their hands to meet. To find a connection again. 

"I…I need some time to think" Allias mumbled and Theseus' hand fell lifeless to his side. His lilac eyes widened and the pain of the rejection hit him like a sudden bolt. He had never done that before. "I need to be alone." Allias said and ran away. 

What was happening?

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Hello! Did you enjoy this chapter? Someone please say something T.T I need to know if you like the course of the story so far.

Thanks.