I Scored Myself A Mate

Should I just return back to normal? Allias wondered as he looked at himself in the mirror. He had just woken up and after his shower he came face to face with his own reflection. He seemed slightly thinner, the veins on his hands popping out, his cheeks hallowed faintly. The King sighed, pushing his brown curls back from his face. 

"If you go back, there is tons of shit to face." He mumbled, talking to his reflection. He wasn't ready, not ready at all to feel the waves of guilt and regret. He had hurt Theseus, he had cheated on him and killed two people. Right now the actions did come off as wrong but he didn't feel the emotional burden. He wasn't worried, or saddened it was just he was logical enough to know right from wrong. 

Theseus will love you again. If you return. The faint voice in his head whispered and Allias' heart fluttered. Yes, that was what he craved the most. Theseus' love. He wished to be looked at as if he was special, someone precious to him. He couldn't stand the shivers going down his spine every time the lilac eyes judged him in disgust. 

"Yes, but the guilt" he said and he could almost see himself frown. He placed his palms on the marble sink and breathed in biting his lips. 

Three days. That was how long it took Allias to realize that freedom from any emotion did not mean that his old self would be completely erased. Yes, he didn't feel any guilt for his actions, he allowed himself to act recklessly and didn't care about the consequences but the core of his heart never seemed to alter. Even when he was human one thing had always been clear. If Theseus was around he couldn't stop his attraction to him. You cheated on him! His brain screamed and Allias took a last glimpse of his reflection before he threw his punch in the mirror, shuttering it. Shards got inside his knuckles, sticking out as blood dripped on the floor. 

"Messed up, everything is just wrong" he said and walked out the room. He needed to find something to clean this. 

He left a bloody trail as he walked, his servants avoiding him, their faces hidden as they stared at the ground. Of course they would, he had just killed someone, one of them. He kept walking, ignoring their curious expressions as they stared at his hand. 

The infirmary of the palace was empty. It was early in the morning and the doctor was possibly still asleep. With his one free hand he rummaged through the drawers and threw down gauzes and disinfectants, balms and ointments, clicking his tongue annoyed as he couldn't find what he was looking for. 

"You are creating a mess again" He heard Theseus scold him and the king turned around. "Who did you kill this time?"

"The bathroom mirror." Allias said with a bored expression. "See? I am improving."

"You hand looks pretty bad. Does it hurt?" the general asked him and walked inside, sitting on the doctor's chair, observing him as he struggled to find those freaking tweezers things so he could get out the shards, but they were nowhere to be found. He groaned and closed the drawer frustrated making the whole desk shake.  "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah, having fucking glass on your skin hurts." Allias said.

"Good, you deserve it. A lot worse than that." He told him. If things were different Theseus would not be staring at him with that vindictive look. He would be panicking, running around to fix his wound. Now all he did was sit back in his chair, enjoy watching his frustration grow as the pain in his hand intensified. Maybe it was true, what Mark had said. Maybe Theseus was sick of the struggles, of the pain and this was the last string, maybe this was the last love he had in him for Allias and after everything he did he ruined it. 

"Why are you here?" Allias asked. "I am pretty sure you are not fond of my company." He said with a smirk and the general crossed his arms over his chest. 

"I came to tell you something. I have talked about it with the others and we think this is the best solution for now. You see, with you back we will have to eventually host a gathering. Not only for the elf royals, the council and the representatives of other species as well and you obviously are not in the mood to be a king so much for attending guests that could end up our enemies if they were handled badly so…"

"Just get to the point will you? What do you want? You want me to stay quietly in my room or pretend that I care? How about smiling and waving while you do all the work for me?" Allias asked agitated. They were talking behind his back, scheming, seeing him as a completely different person now. From day one no one had really tried to save him. He was alone. 

You were supposed to be the one to save me. He thought as he looked at Theseus with a blank stare. 

"No, none of that. We want you to leave." Theseus announced.

"Leave? Leave the palace?" he asked him and his lips turned into a thin line. The pain in his hand long forgotten. 

"Yes, basically I meant it when I said that you should get lost. No one needs you here like this. You are just a burden and there is too much going on to be bothered with you too." He told him coldly. 

He didn't know how to respond to this. This morning he had been this close to ask for help. This close to accept the punishment that would arrive with him returning back to normal but what was the point now? Theseus had already rejected him. It didn't matter what the rest of the world did, he didn't even care if everyone else was disappointed in him, bad mouthed him, wanted him gone. None of this had any meaning as long as Theseus still wanted him, maybe then he would be able to say yes, so he could get his precious love back. He would return just for him, but his general didn't want him anymore. 

The King smirked, putting his hands in his pockets even the hurt one, feeling the glass stick deeper to his wound, yes that kind of pain was numbing. It was distracting from the true source. 

"You were the only one who I could ask for help. Not anymore." Allias told him before he disappeared.