I Scored Myself A Mate

It's not just disappointment. It definitely starts from there but slowly it turns into something bigger, darker. An emotion that slowly conquers all of your other thoughts. A certain kind of emotion that feeds an insecurity, a fear that has always been there, a monster that was simply put to sleep a long time ago but now it awakens ready to devour its pray. Long sharp nails, fangs that could easily rip flesh and eyes with no emotion. That monster, that abomination was him. As he looked himself in the mirror his darkest fears had worn his face, mocking him because no matter what he did he couldn't ignore his nature, no matter how hard he tried something would always come up and remind him a harsh reality he tried to avoid. He was a monster, he came from monsters and the people he loved one say would see it too. 

That's what Asmodeus thought every night ever since he heard the news about his brother trying to kill Mark. He hadn't gotten angry, furious as he expected to, he simply had died inside. He was close to his brother. He was the only person that he wasn't embarrassed to share his fears with and now, while he listened to Mark explain everything that had happened three hundred years ago he realized that his nature, the nature of his brother was not something he could avoid. 

The demon king touched his horns. They were cold and rough to the touch, unnatural, ugly. A sigh escaped his lips and he closed his eyes, just for a second, disgusted with his own image. Mirrors scared him, they made him feel uncomfortable and the more he looked into them, the more he found a self he didn't like seeing. He walked out the bathroom and laid on his bed, his chest rising slowly up and down. He allowed himself to relax in this comfortable silence as the pain in his chest, the one cause by his family's own betrayal was slowly beginning to become one with his own being. At first it was excruciating, it almost brought him to tears but then as the hours and the days passed it turned into a sting, like the one of a needle. He heard a knock on his door but he didn't move. He already knew who was waiting at his doorstep. He had knocked yesterday and the day before that too. He kept knocking, asking him if he was okay but the demon did not have the courage to answer. 

"Asmodeus please. It's me, are you alright? Come out, let's talk about this." A pleading voice was heard. He sounds hurt, worried even, the demon thought but still he didn't allow the human to enter, he remained on his bed, silent as he felt the pulsing of his heart in his veins. He remained still, like a statue. 

Behind the heavy wooden door mark was waiting. He had waited yesterday too and the day before that. He had found a comfortable spot in a corner, right in front of Asmodeus' door and every day after his usual knocking he would sit down and wait, patiently, not bothered by the elves that passed by and looked at him, wondering if he was alright. Mark would get up after a while and knock again only to receive a deadly silence. The red haired human knocked again, three times, rhythmically. 

"Open the door please. I want to see you." He told him. 

"Master there is no point." He heard Ignis say and the spirit appeared next to him. Mark looked at him with a sad expression. He knew that already, Asmodeus was stubborn and at the moment sad, meaning Mark would have almost no chance at convincing him. 

"I know but I don't want him to be in there, all alone, sad. I need to talk to him." He said. 

"And what will you tell him?" he asked. "That it's alright? That you have forgiven his brother for killing you? Will you lie to him?" The spirit asked him, being brutally honest. "It is not alright and I doubt you will ever forgive him so why are you standing out here? There is nothing you can tell him to make him feel better. He is not supposed to feel better." 

"Ignis, I think you are too harsh on him. I…"

"You care about him. I know but sometimes we need to face the harsh reality. We can't have someone patting our head all the time." He said and mark smiled. 

"Look at you, all grown up. I can still remember the day Asmodeus brought you, you kept purring like a little kitten." He teased him and Ignis' golden eyes widened. He looked away embarrassed. "I know you're right. I just want to be by his side, that's the right thing to do. Maybe our relationship is not at its best right now but still I don't like knowing he is sad. But he just won't come out." Mark said. 

"Force him then" Ignis said. 

"How?"

"Order him to come and open the door. You can do that." Ignis said and disappeared. Mark looked at the door as realization hit him. He could do that! He could order Asmodeus to open the door because of the contract. He parted his lips ready to voice the order but he stopped. He felt guilty, forcing him like this wasn't ethically right and he would hate it if he did it to him. His forehead landed on the door, making a light smacking sound as he realized he was at a dead end. He touched the door, tracing with his finger a few designs. 

"Listen, I know you can hear me. Please, I don't want to order you to open the door. I want you to do it because you want to. Let me in and we can talk or we can simply sit and stare at each other, I don't mind. Whatever you want. I simply want to be next to you." He said. Mark waited for a while, hoping that this time his attempt would be successful but soon all hope was lost. No footsteps, no sounds and again this heavy silence followed the express of his feelings. 

He left the door ready to retrieve once more when he heard the creaking of wood. That was it, the first sound he had heard in days. His head snapped to the side as the door opened enough to barely fit a person. Asmodeus' face appeared and his hand grabbed his wrist bringing Mark inside. He was finally in; he had let him in. 

"There you go. Now what?" Asmodeus asked him. "Will you try to comfort me? Tell me it's fine?" Asmodeus asked the exorcist as he sat on his bed. Mark looked at him, tilting his head to the side as he thought of the appropriate things to say. Was it really alright? Definitely not, he had died but was it Asmodeus' fault? Should he blame himself for it? No. 

"It's not alright." Mark began saying as he sat next to him on the bed. "I died how could it be alright? That dude tortured me and….well he did things. But that doesn't mean it's your fault. I decided to go down there, I exorcised you in the first place, I know you love your brother, dearly and it must hurt to know what he did but this does not involve you. And I don't mean it in a bad way. You had nothing to do with how I died." Mark said. Asmodeus did not seem to be convinced. He shook his head, rejecting everything the red haired had said. 

"It does have to do with me. It does have to do with the fact that I am a demon. Nothing good comes out from me being around you because I am made in a way that draws evil, can't you see it? I am not beautiful or elegant like and elf, I do not look pure like an angel. I am rough and…and dark because I was made to do evil things. It is clear, simply by the way I look. All I do is bring you despair, even when I don't know it." Asmodeus said and his face fell. He looked at his lap unable to look Mark in the eyes. All the things he felt, all the insecurities about his kind, of who he was were making him feel like trash, like someone who did not have a rightful place next to him. 

"Listen to me Asmodeus…" Mark said. He waited for the demon to look at him but nothing happened. So he used his hand, he gently grabbed his chin and raised his head, now they were both looking at each other. Their eyes meeting for the first time in days. "Good, now pay close attention to what I am about to say…" 

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