I Scored Myself A Mate

Betrayal came in many ways and Mark had witnessed most of them since he joined Allias in this crazy journey. He was rarely though the one that betrayed. He had done it once more, way back and the victim had been the same as today. Asmodeus was again betrayed by him and he was trying to keep it a secret. He focused everything he had into listening to Luke but his mind would travel. 

Would he cause him pain? Would he cry if he found out? He hated seeing Asmodeus cry, it was as if a part of his own heart was crying too. The tears that trailed down his face could be poisonous. He had caused them though, many times over and over again and now if he told him the truth history would simy repeat itself.

"We just want you to help Alexander. He needs to control his power.", Luke finished saying. Mark hadn't heard half of it but he could get the point. He pretended to think about it.

"Sure, tomorrow I guess. After the wedding we will start." He told them, almost completely emotionless and he stood up. "Now let me go back to sleep." Mark said even though it was already noon by now. He just wanted to escape. The demon called his name, noticing that he wasn't being himself but Mark chose to pretend he didn't hear. The doorknob felt cold underneath his touch and as he left the room filled with people he tried not to think. It was just a kiss, a momentarily mistake but why did he feel so bad about it? He wasn't the one who started it, he didn't want it and it didn't even feel that good so why did he feel like he had committed a sin? 

He shook his head, staring at his feet as he walked back to his room when five long fingers wrapped around his wrist. He recognized the grip and without turning back he released himself.

"No." He said.

"Mark, let's talk. I'm sorry." The blond wolf told him. He didn't want to stop. He didn't want to turn back and face him. If he did his betreyal would become true. He could ignore it and move on. He could pretend Mikael didn't exist. His voice sounded so sad though, he could hear his remorse as it traveled through the air and he took in a deep breath. Just for a minute. He turned around, facing his saddened expression.

"This thing...it didn't happen. It was a mistake. Let's not mention it, ever again."

"It did happen. I remember very vividly the pain between my legs." Mikael said.

"I'm not sorry about that." The red haired said. "I am with Amsodeus. I have always been. He is my destiny. I won't ruin this just because you might be confused and lonely. I love him and now I feel like shit" Mark said. 

As the time passed, as the ticking of the clock kept going and the pattern of the seconds got engraved in his head he came to realize more and more how bad he felt. Tears swelled into his eyes as the pain in his chest spread, reaching the palm of his left arm. It always hurt there, when he felt sad it always stinged at that specific part. 

"Mark, I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like this. Sometimes it's hard for me to control my emotions. I..." Mikael tried to apologize. Mark didn't care though he didn't care about blaming him. He just couldn't stop thinking about it 

"I am a shitty person" he cried and tears escaped his brown eyes. Mikael didn't know what to do. Mark was right there in front of him crying because of their kiss. 

"I won't tell anything. I promise. Asmodeus won't find out" Mikael told him. "You're not a shitty person. It was all me. I kissed you. Don't feel bad okay?" The blond man said and patted his back. Mark was crying still, rubbing his eyes and turning them red. He couldn't stop and he was fully aware how stupid he looked whining but he just couldn't do anything about it. He felt horrible. 

"I am a the worst!" He exclaimed. "I should just go and die all alone." He kept crying and swearing at himself. Mikael sighed. He couldn't hug him, that would definitely make things worse and his palm was simply in the air right above his head. Should he pat it? Should he just say sorry and leave? What the hell was he supposed to do? 

"Mark..." He called out his name and the red haired man looked at him. His eyes were swollen, tears escaping from the corners and landing on his lips. He sniffled, wiping his nose with his sleeve before he spoke.

"What?" He asked him.

"Let's just pretend this whole thing never happened okay? I was confused and you were....shocked. There is no way to talk about it." Mikael was trying to make things better for him. He didn't really feel bad about kissing him and he know how much of an asshole he was by admitting it to himself. His attraction to Mark had always been a complicated matter for him and he knew that it would always bother him. Seeing him like this though made him realize that he had been selfish. He took advantage of him and he shouldn't have. 

Mark remained silent. His crying seemed to have come to an end while he thought about Mikael's words. He wanted to do that, he wanted to ignore and forget this mistake. It had just happened a few hours ago and it hurt like an open wound. That was how much he loved Asmodeus. So much that even the slightest stupidity from his side felt like a grevious wound. He wanted to pretend, exactly like he had planned but as the pain in his chest grew like a malicious plant he knew it was impossible.

"I wish I could. I wish I could pretend it didn't happen but it did. We kissed. I betrayed Amsodeus and I..."

"You did what?" A voice echoed in the long corridor and Mark's head snapped. 

Torture, it's torture to love someone and make mistakes. Because their hurt expression causes you more pain than actually getting hit by a bullet. 

I'm sorry, he thought again and again but no sound came out. 

....

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