I Scored Myself A Mate

They were quiet, almost deadly silent while they sat on the dump grass of a nearby park. 

There were still kids around running and they could hear the creaking of the rusty swings, laughter and joy was everywhere. Deciding to seek refuge under a willow tree that hid them from the rest of the world with its huge branches.

They had visited a pharmacy before finding their resting area and with the few money Alex had left, bought him supplies so they could treat Mark's cut. Thankfully it wasn't anything that serious. They cleaned it up and it looked like a big scratch. After Mark's grunts when the disinfectant touched his red skin nothing else was heard. The two boys were sitting on the ground, their backs on the rough tree trunk and one played with the little wildflowers that had grew around the roots of the tree and the other looking at the sky through the small holes on the tree's branches.

"So what do we do now?" Mark asked holding a flower in his hand. It was so fragile and small, just one wrong move could destroy it completely. He had killed it though, pulling it off the ground without a second thought and he began wondering, how many things do we end up doing every day that hurt others without us even knowing it?

"Have you ever felt like you're not yourself?" 

"What?"

"Like there is a fight inside of you. Like you don't feel like yourself or who you are but even if you try to search there is a part of you missing. Like a hole inside you."

"Do you feel like that Alex? Like you are not yourself?" 

"Did you hear what I told Luke back there? I called him a low life. I was so cold and filled with hate. I knew these feelings were mine, I felt them and still do but that reaction…that was not me."

"I think that it was you." Mark told him while Alex was still looking at the sky. "It was the hurt you, who couldn't stand it anymore. The you that you have been suppressing afraid that people won't like. You know I was always scared about that. Aren't you scared too? That the man you love will leave you if he sees the bad sides of you or the side he doesn't need to protect so badly, that you are not as weak as he thinks? You pressured yourself so much that now you are blowing up." He explained. 

Everyone wanted to be perfect especially to the eyes of the one they loved. Be what they need so their eyes would shine as they met yours in those epic love stories that everyone yearned so much to live. The people there were made for each other, perfectly understood the other and became a better person just by being with them. Luke saw him as someone weak, that needed to be protected and Alex tried to be that but with every try, every attempt to be 'saved' that Luke made Alex felt like he was losing a piece of himself. 

So with every lie and every time he heard the excuse, I did it for you he wondered how could Luke get to know him, he wasn't even looking at him. Luke would never tell him anything and their bond was starting to seem very unequal to him. 

"I don't know if it's just that" Alex confessed. "I feel like we don't truly match sometimes. Like he wants me but not me. I don't know how to explain it."

"So you don't like him?"

"I do, a part of me does. I like kissing him and being with him. I am happy when he is but then a part of me hates him and I don't know why. You can't hate the man you're supposed to love." He said and sighed. "I mean he erased their memories, my father is dead. I hate him for that but I…I still like him"

"Look we are not supernatural experts. It definitely has something to do with that bond thing. All I have to say is that you need to be yourself. I mean you were really cool when you told him to piss off. He deserved it" Mark said with a smile.

"I bet he wasn't expecting that" 

"Definitely not. He doesn't know you after all but I still remember that time during first year when that bully tried to make fun of us for wearing unicorn onesies at the Halloween party. That punch must've hurt him good."

"Yeah" Alex said and laughed with his friend. "That was a good night"

"True. And now we are living with werewolves. Life escalates quickly. Do you think we could see a real unicorn?"

"I don't know. We should ask them when we get back" 

"So we are getting back?" Mark asked him with a serious look. 

"Yeah, I need to clear things out with Luke. This will be the last time though. I don't think I could stand something like that again. I am getting more and more confused and I can't have doubting my partner on top of that."

"It's fascinating though. Most people are worried if their boyfriends cheat on them and you are worried that he might kill your parents." Mark joked and Alex looked at him with a frown "Too soon?"

"To be honest I don't even know. I mean we were not close but now we will never be. I feel like Luke took my chance of having a family again away from me and that's what hurts the most. We can never make things right now. My feelings, my thoughts everything is a mess and I am really tired"

He couldn't realize what was happening to him, how his self was changing or how to deal with it. There was a fight inside of him that never seemed to stop and he didn't even know who the enemy was, or if he even was a foe. His feelings towards Luke had seemed so clear at the beginning but now as the days passed something was changing. He believed it was because of everything that was happening. They hadn't managed to be at peace for more than two days. He would give him a little more time. They left the cover of the old tree and walked in the little stone pathways until they left the cheerful park and found themselves in the lonely streets, where everyone was walking looking down in a hurry to get home. 

"Alex, no matter who you decide you want to be. The badass hero who doesn't need help, or the basic boy with the bad boyfriend, or even the runaway husband I will always be your best friend. There is no right or wrong answer in what you want to do or who you want to love or who you want to be. Just be you and be happy with that, no matter what genre your story ends up being." Mark told his friend.

"You are the best thing that has happened to me" Alex told him and sniffled, keeping his tears in for as long as he could. "I don't know what I would do without you" he said and hugged him. "Thank you." 

"Dude come on don't cry. I'm going to cry too." Mark said.

"I want to be strong." Alex confessed while hiding on the crook of his neck. "I want to protect the ones I love, I want to be me and I want Luke to like me for that. To seek guidance in me, ask me for advise I want to be his partner not the teenage boyfriend he has to protect." 

Alex knew, that his and Luke's personalities were very different. At first he didn't want to admit that. Because he liked his grey eyes that shone like the distant moon, his smile that made his heart flatter and the strong embrace that consumed all his worries. So still hiding the truth he tried to be what Luke wanted, just to keep those fractions of happiness. It was time though he put an end to that. Luke should love him, if he really did for who he was and not the traumatized boy he had needed to protect in their adventures. 

"This hug is awfully long and people's stares are starting to make me uncomfortable" Mark said and made Alex laugh. They both wiped the small teardrops that they had shed and looked at the busy road like two lost, little children. "So, how do we get back?"

"Well I have no idea" Alex said and looked around like he waited for a magic ride to appear. To his surprise it did. A familiar yellow cab stopped right in front of them the back door that was on their side of the road opening by itself.

"I've been looking for you gentlemen. Shouldn't we get going? It's late" the old man said behind the steering wheel.

"The magic taxi man." Mark mumbled and entered the cab without a second thought. It was indeed getting late and the weather was chilly, making both boys feel cold with their light clothing. 

"Not magic sir. Mister Mikael told me to get you" he said and started driving once Alex had gotten in too. He turned the heat on without being asked and even some music. 

"How did you find us?" Mark asked him and the man smiled kindly through the mirror.

"That's magic." He told them and Marked formed a surprised oh with his lips. 

Alex wasn't very interesting in their peculiar conversation because all he was thinking about was what he should say when they met. How to approach things. The whole ride had turned into his own personal rehearsal for his monologue as he tried on different expressions and repeated harsh words on his mind. 

Once they arrived and he got out the car, noticing Luke waiting for him at the entrance in the cold, dressed by the dark night he forgot everything he had prepared.