I Scored Myself A Mate

Hello if you are interested please listen to this song while reading this chapter. I believe it matches very well. Experience by Ludovico Einaudi.

Enjoy!

He couldn't really believe it and as he looked at himself in the dirty mirror of their cheap hotel room it seemed more and more impossible.

Mark was still asleep, sprawled out in the bed they had to share last night while Alex had woken up early if he had even slept at all. He couldn't take his eyes off that bathroom mirror. Normal eyes, normal teeth, normal ears everything about him was completely normal, he felt normal but still everything else was pointing to a different direction.

One thing had changed though. Ever since he read that paper that storm inside him seemed to have been put to rest abruptly. He didn't feel that straining clash of emotions anymore and he could say that, contradicting to the fact that his world was crumbling, he felt calmer now.

Was it that he needed to know that? To explain why he was in a constant fight with himself and his thoughts. It seemed that he was fighting with another part of him. The abnormal one that was desperately trying to surface.

What was going to happen if he succeeded? If Alex remembered everything one day? Would he still be Alex or would he turn into someone else , losing his self right now completely. It was difficult to grasp the idea of being someone else. Of not belonging in your own body and suddenly his flesh seemed only like a temporary host. His form? He couldn't remember. His voice, his actions and everything that made him Alex would be different? Or would he just remember and adjust. Remember all those things that created that hole inside of him.

Mark was right. It did make sense in a way but at the same time it didn't. It didn't cause he couldn't see that change. That fight inside of him for himself to wake up. He was just standing there frozen with teary eyes, scared that he would disappear.

He remembered Luke's words. He was scared to lose him, he said. Was this the fear that destroyed him every day? That turned him into someone else? The fear of him disappearing? He could understand a little better now that he knew but in his heart it was so difficult to forgive him. They could have figured this out together, try to find a way out of this darkness together and not turn at each other. There was time. While Alex still looked at him filled with fondness, impatient of what the future would bring. While Luke in his eyes was amazing and funny and strong. Not a liar and a manipulator. They could have made it. All they needed to do was talk. He just needed to trust him but why? Why was it so hard? Alex wondered. His initial anger towards him had seemed to subside a bit. He could see now another side of the story but still, there was nothing to be done.

It was too late for their love.

"Hey, are you alright?" He heard Mark call him with his morning voice, his eyes still half open.

"Could it be that I just lost him?" Alex asked Mark filled with sorrow. "It's the end now?"

Mark was expecting this reaction. He was wondering when Alex would just show he is hurt. It seemed like he was perceiving everything too well. Like he smiled forcibly, like he breathed with a difficulty and it was hard to see his friend like that. Like it's hard to live, to breathe. As if it's hard to be happy or even just alright and he felt hopeless because he didn't know how to fix it. I am your friend, I want to help you but I can't I wish I could, he though filled with sadness. He didn't know what to do or what to say. He couldn't ease his pain. He could just stand on the side and watch as he was losing everything, even himself.

"Alex no, listen to me. It's not the end" he said and approached him, pulling him into a hug. "You are young. You are smart. You are beautiful. You are kind how could it be the end for someone like you. You will get to live and enjoy life. You will get to fulfill your dreams and be the you, you always wanted so don't give up. Nothing ends at our first love. Nothing ends at our first disappointment. Nothing ends when we hurt. It's only a beginning. All you have to do is not give up. Because you deserve to be happy. Everyone does."

"What if leaving was a mistake? What if I could fix things with him but I decided to leave, like a coward?"

"You were constantly being lied to, taken advantage of. You hoped and hoped and tried but it's not only right for one person to try. Fate? We never thought of that. Is not important. You write your own fate and I know it hurts now. Everything happened so suddenly and you keep digging up more truths but in the end you will be free. Just don't give up. You decide your own fate. No one else. Not some forest goddess or everyone else. You know what's best for you and if leaving was the best thing you could think at that moment then it was. Because you know yourself better than anyone else. You know how strong you are and you can do it." Mark told him passionately.

Humans, mortals, weak and blind to the secrets of the world but it didn't matter because they were not bound by a stupid word called fate. They could decide. Alex had to decide. Everyone wishes of a legendary love, of one that almost seems like out of a book you would read a spring day or a winter evening. Not everything was like that though, right from the start, with romantic words and caring touches. Playful laughs and beautiful memories and not everyone found immediately the right person or made the right choices. The important thing was to have the strength to move on. Even if you're scared, so one day you could find that.

Alex looked at him with tears in his eyes. Sometimes we must do what it's best for us. We must keep going even if it hurts us because we deserve to be happy at the end.

"Let's go get ready now. We got to meet Clarissa. She will give us a few more answers. Isn't that great?" Mark said trying to cheer him up and Alex nodded while sniffling.

"Yeah let's go." He agreed and they got ready. Not doing anything much. They didn't have that many spare clothes anyway. They took showers and left. Exploring the unfamiliar streets until they headed to the apartment building.

They pressed her name on the massive doorbell but no one seemed to answer. They tried again but no luck.

Soon a man appeared wanting to get inside, he took out his keys and opened the door

"Do you mind if we get inside?" Mark asked him.

"You don't live here." The old man said. Looking at them suspiciously.

"Yeah we don't. But our friend Clarissa is at work and she sent us to fetch something for her, she forgot to give us the keys though and it's too much of a hustle to get back." He lied.

The man stood quiet for a while as he looked at the two young boys. They definitely seemed suspicious but at the same time harmless. The man not really caring about it so much in the end since they didn't seem actually willing to hurt him he moved to the side and let them pass.

Alex and Mark worried that he might change his mind, hurried off from the stairs after they thanked him a few times.

Thankfully the apartment wasn't on the tenth floor or anything torturing like that. Still Mark was slightly panting when they stopped at the beginning of the long corridor. It had a very dirty floor that seemed to haven't been cleaned in a long time and many mint colored doors, most of them had faded with time and sometimes when they passed by one they could hear someone talking or the TV playing.

"Mark stop" Alex suddenly told him and halted his steps by putting his arm in front of him.

"What?" The ginger asked and his friend pointed at a door. The one that had Clarissa's apartment number on.

The door was slightly open.

"Why is her door open like that." Alex now whispered and both boys took cautious steps towards the apartment.

The mint door was not fully open but there was an obvious slit that provided a very faint image of the room. There were papers on the carpeted floor, the curtains dancing inside the room from the morning air. But Alex subconsciously focused on the floor. On that very big, sugar colored carpet with red dots as its design. At first he didn't know why his eyes immediately stopped there but soon he realized.

Red dots. Yes, but not everywhere.

Alex's eyes expanded and his jaw dropped before he opened the door in a hurry, getting inside and pulling Mark in too.

The red head was ready to scream but he covered his mouth with his own hands not wanting to alarm anyone around. It would be beneficial to their escape or in general if they were found out in the apartment right now.

The carpet did not have any dots and the furniture were not thrown upside down just because of the design. The floor was filled with glass shards from the broken balcony window.

Those dots were blood and right in the middle of the room was Clarissa. Her limps in very unnatural positions. Her mouth open in an attempt to scream and her eyes wide open. An expression of terror was engraved on her face as her throat was dressed in a bloody necklace.

Clarissa was dead. Someone had slit her throat open.

....

I would love to know how the story seems to you so far! I hope that you are enjoying it. Thanks