I Thought I Didn’t Have Long To Live!

Chapter 65 (A reason why I must live)

The dining room of the Kandel mansion.

The table was full of dishes that Halstein ordered one by one, and the chef made it after hard work. Hearing the news of Asrahan’s departure, Halstein paid attention to it with a sad heart.

However, Asrahan, who was troubled, could not even drink a few drinks.

He was contemplating how to convey this news to Lariette, and in what way should he tell her that she would be less shocked.

Lariette was also very slow to eat. Unlike usual, where she was constantly chattering about what had happened and what she ate today, she spoke very little.

It was because the scene she had seen earlier kept shimmering in front of her eyes. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen death, but I kept reminding of Asrahan’s casual conversation in front of the thick pool of blood.

‘I have to ask Why did you attach a guard without telling me…’

Lariette thought while licking her dry lips. I came to ask that question, but I was so startled by what was going on that I was busy hiding.

Apparently, Melissa talked to Asrahan and said that Gerard was escorting her. Although she did not know why he made him hide, it became clear that he had good intentions.

The reason Asrahan killed the man also seemed clear. Even while I was in Blanche, I had seen my father behead some traitors, so it was just a matter of passing by.

But for some unknown reason, Lariette couldn’t keep her mouth shut. She couldn’t even say that she had seen his work before while hiding, or that she noticed that he had attached a guard.

‘Melissa doubted why I was learning stealth.’

In fact, there was no doubt about it. If Asrahan was curious, there was no reason not to say it.

I’m going to travel alone after the contract period ends, but it was simple to explain that I was learning practical skills because I thought it would be dangerous because I was alone.

But strangely enough, I couldn’t bear to say this either. Before, if I didn’t say it because I didn’t like to mention the end, I felt like I shouldn’t say it now.

At this time, Lariette didn’t know, but this was her instinct.

Her body instinctively knew she shouldn’t have spoken.

– We’ll always be there to protect her, but so what is the danger?

The words of Melissa, who had been muttering in a curious voice, echoed in her ears. An unknown anxiety surrounded her body.

‘Always…?’

Now that the contract is short, isn’t it a bit awkward to use the word ‘Always?’ Lariette thought, biting her lower lip.

It seemed like something was missing. I felt like I was spinning around, not grasping something very important and essential.

“Lariette.”

“Ye-Yes?”

When Asrahan suddenly called her, Lariette, who had been immersed in other thoughts, stuttered in surprise.

She was so hasty that she bit her tongue as well. The taste of blood spread in her mouth, along with a sharp pain.

Fortunately, Asrahan did not find her embarrassment strange. It was also because he was so caught up in serious thoughts that he couldn’t afford to look at her.

“I have something to tell you… there is.”

“What?”

Lariette swallowed dry saliva and asked. She was worried that he had noticed her presence earlier, or that he had known her secret.

In fact, no matter how much she improved, she couldn’t be better than Asrahan’s. It was even stranger not to be caught.

However, the experience of grasping Gerard’s hiding increased her skill surprisingly, and her concentration at an urgent moment temporarily overwhelms Asrahan.

There was also a reason that Asrahan did not concentrate much on thinking about other things. It was a great coincidence that he didn’t look at her eyes.

“Recently, have you heard that relations with the Danube Kingdom have deteriorated significantly?”

“Ah yes. That’s why importing gemstones has become more difficult…”

Lariette knew that the content was completely different from what she was worried about, and secretly wiped her chest.

I’ve often heard stories about the Danube from Jenvier. It was said that trade routes were cut off due to deterioration of the relationship, so the price of gemstones only found in the Danube soared.

But what does that have to do with Asrahan? Lariette, who tilted her head in doubt, soon realized what he was trying to say and hardened her face.

Asrahan was the best sword of the Empire and called the Demon of War. As the Empire’s greatest power, he traveled through numerous battlefields regardless of his will, and as a general, he commanded battles at the forefront.

And it won’t just be a thing of the past.

“Asrahan, don’t tell me…”

Lariette asked with a voice full of anxiety. Her purple eyes were shaking.

Asrahan bowed his head as if he had become a criminal. A mournful voice continued.

“… Yes. I was ordered to participate in the war.”

“Those jerk!”

Bang! Lariette slammed the table with both hands, swearing in harsh language. It was the most radical of her appearance that Asrahan had ever seen.

Asrahan’s bitter feelings for her had long been overshadowed by anger. Even if she had felt a strange fear from him, Asrahan was still the most precious person to her, and beyond that, this absurdity could not be overlooked.

“Who are they! Don’t go Asrahan! It’s the emperor’s fault that the relationship with the Danube Kingdom deteriorated! He will clean up the shit he bought himself!”

I was about to spit fire out of my mouth. Lariette continued to utter fierce words at the Emperor and the nobles. Even if someone was arrested for contempt of the Imperial family, there was nothing to say.

Asrahan opened his eyes and watched her mumble harsh swear words with a puzzled expression on his face. With her clenched fists clenched and her purple eyes shining brightly, she was even reliable.

Soon, a laugh that didn’t fit the situation leaked out.

“Hahaha!”

Lariette quickly turned her head to look at the direction of the sound. I couldn’t believe this was the sound of Asrahan. Which madman is going to war and laughing?

However, Asrahan’s lips in her vision were clearly curved upwards. The madman was her lover. This fact was absurd, and Lariette’s eyebrows soared into the sky.

After reading her gaze, Asrahan quickly covered his mouth with his hand, but when her cute swear words came to mind again, a smirk came out again.

“Pfft, Hahaha!”

“What’s so funny…?”

It was a much louder laugh than before. There was no difference but this time his fingers were shaking.

Lariette asked, in a cool voice, which part is the most enjoyable right now. She was holding a fork in her hand. If I’m not satisfied with your answer, I’ll stab you with this right away.

Only then did Asrahan bite his lips. If he told her that he laughed because she was cute in this situation, he thought Lariette would get angry.

He is used to being stabbed with a sword, so it doesn’t hurt much to be stabbed with a fork, but he didn’t want to face Lariette’s anger. So he glanced at her and answered cautiously.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… It’s the first time I’ve ever received anyone’s worries while participating in the war. I feel… really good.”

Asrahan gently rolled his eyes and smiled softly. Then he reached out and gently grabbed the back of Lariette’s hand.

“Thank you, Lariette.”

Chuu

Illustration 

A tickling sensation brushed her fingers. Asrahan kissed her hand.

Even though it was a light touch, Lariette’s face became as red as a ripe tomato. It was because his eyes looking at her were so sweet.

Lariette made a somewhat blunt voice in embarrassment.

“Halstein must be upset that he has never been worried.”

“Ah. Please keep it a secret.”

Halstein gets sulky so easily. Asrahan added playfully.

Lariette laughed at his words, who became much more relaxed than before. But her eyes still sank with anxiety.

‘War….’

When exactly is he going to participate in the war? Judging from the fact that he has not told me yet, it seems that the time has not been confirmed as they haven’t talked about it yet.

Even though there was less than a month left, I wanted to fully enjoy being with him, but that may be unreasonable.

No, it didn’t matter. The most important thing was the safety of Asrahan. Whether he was called the Empire’s greatest sword or Demon war, he was only human, and she never knew when, where, or what he would get hurt.

What if he doesn’t come back alive?

Lariette’s complexion turned pale at the terrifying thought. Although she was destined to die, he had to live.

“Lariette.”

Asrahan’s gentle voice broke her thoughts. He reassured her as if he had read her mind.

“It was a small war. I can’t even compare it to the wars I’ve fought in the past.”

“But….”

“When I was on the battlefield as a child, I had no reason to live. There was no one waiting for me or the arms of my family to return to. The curse ate the skin, and every day in the sea of blood was just terrible. Even if I die right away, I have no regrets. I just lived because I was alive.”

Asrahan recalled his miserable childhood in a calm tone. Lariette couldn’t say anything and clasped his hands tightly.

“But right now, I have regrets. There’s a reason to live.”

The blue eyes that glowed under the long eyelashes were full of love for Lariette.

My regret, my reason, my life.

My Lariette, all of that is you.

“… How dare I die leaving you.”

Asrahan hid his burning heart under a light smile. It was because he was afraid that she might even run away, surprised by his deep feelings.

“I will come back safely. So please don’t worry, Lariette.”

Lariette nodded her head involuntarily, Asrahan’s tone was so resolute. Then Asrahan replied with a bright smile.

They continued to eat while holding hands. Lariette told him to let it go, but Asrahan  pretended not to listen. He was very good at eating with his left hand.

In the end, Lariette couldn’t talk about Gerard’s escort until the dinner was over. The same thing with her reason for learning stealth.

Asrahan didn’t want to blush over such a trivial thing when he was about to go to war. A good thing is a good thing, it’s just something that should be passed on.

But strangely, his heart kept hurting. As if the heart were warning him of something he missed.

* * *

Count Osman’s mansion.

In the place where the spring flowers had not completely faded, summer flowers were blooming beautifully and adorning the garden.

The scent of bittersweet tea, along with the fragrant smell of flowers, brushed the tip of my nose. Even the cool breeze tickling her hair was the perfect moment.

Lariette, with her hair braided and wearing a gorgeous bonnet, raised a cup of tea with a neat gesture. She looked calm, but inwardly, she was embarrassed by the gaze that was pouring on her.

It was the first meeting since Sheria left the place because she was uncomfortable with unreasonable demands.

Jenvier and Juana glanced at Lariette, and Erze was staring at Sheria with a cold expression.

Sheria kept her mouth shut and rolled her eyes. She didn’t seem to like frowning.

“Sheria.”

“Oh, I see.”

When Erze called her name as if giving attention to her, Sheria quickly turned into a pale face and bowed her head. Then, reluctant to open her mouth.

“Lariette. Last time I… I think I made an unreasonable request. It wasn’t my intention, but I’m sorry if I offended you.”

Gosh, that snow bird doesn’t even know how to apologize. Juana wriggled her eyebrows and thought.

“Yes, I forgive you.”

Lariette replied with an indifferent face. Because she didn’t expect to receive a proper apology in the first place. It would be nice to know what she did wrong.

And her prediction came true. Sheria couldn’t believe that Lariette reacted like that when she dared to bend over first.

It was an apology that would not have been made if Erze had not made it in the first place. She wanted to reject her offer, but her eyes were too cold for that. She felt like she was going to throw her away if she didn’t apologize.

‘What do you think, Princess Erze, enveloping commoners like that? That’s why you’re being careless without knowing the topic.’’

Sheria thought as she crumpled her dress under the table. She didn’t even doubt that she was doing the status discrimination attitude of the nobles she hated so much.

No matter how dishonest they were, she couldn’t disobey the Princess’s orders, so Sheria drank the tea without answering anything. She felt nauseous with frustration.

After that, she nodded her head a couple of times without actively participating in the conversation that followed. It was to show that she wasn’t feeling well.

At this point, someone might ask what’s going on, but strangely, no one cared about her today.

It was absurd. I am Sheria Mirchen, who is said to be the most beautiful in the Empire, and Snow bird from Baron Mirchen’s!

Her whole body trembled at the shame of being ignored.

Sheria, who has always been loved, was not patient. I’ve been patient for quite some time because of the presence of a Princess, but now I’ve reached the limit.

She opened her mouth and tried to shout at those who ignored her. However, Osman’s servant suddenly approached.

“Lady. Your Majesty the Duke of Kandel has arrived at the mansion.”

“Duke Kendel?”

“Yes, it said he came to pick up Lady Lariette.”

Juana turned her head and looked at Lariette. Lariette also didn’t know that he was coming to pick her up, so she just opened her eyes wide.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I’ll have to leave first today. Can you tell Asrahan that I’ll be leaving soon?”

Lariette bowed her head slightly with regret. Others kindly said it was okay and waved their hands to go quickly.

She put on her shawl and got up. I was thinking of going to the bathroom before I left. It was because I drank too much tea.

Sheria stared intently at Lariette’s back as she headed toward the bathroom. Then, suddenly, she got up from her seat.

“Excuse me, too!”

Sheria didn’t hear an answer and ran to the door. Juana smirked at the funny look and muttered.

“Why do you go to the bathroom like that?”

“Juana.”

“Erze, you know that Sheria has a problem. She can’t embrace everyone.. In particular, she never intended to embrace it.”

When Juana pointed it out sharply, Erze couldn’t answer and kept her mouth shut.

She knew she had to make a decision. However, she was worried about where she might go, who had been kicked out of her group, and it was difficult to speak up.

Have you not done enough wrong to be isolated like that? Erze thought so.

“Let’s talk to Sheria again. I’m sorry for you guys.”

“It will be no use. Well, I like the attitude of a Princess like that, so I’m by your side, so don’t be sorry.”

“Juana, I understand what you mean, but please speak softly. Even if I pretend that I’m not Princess Erze, I’ll get hurt.”

“You know I can’t speak softly like that, Jenvier. The ‘crazy red-haired lady’.”

Juana giggled and spat out her childhood nickname. Even Jenvier did not pretend to be strict, and burst out laughing.

Erze looked at them happily and got up. I was about to go talk to Sheria separately.

* * *

The main gate of Count Osman’s mansion.

Asrahan was leaning against Kandel’s carriage and waiting for Lariette.

It was a sudden visit, so I guessed it would take some time to come out. but today he missed her so much that he couldn’t resist. Even though patience was what he was best at.

Whoosh-

At the sound of the Count’s front door opening, Asrahan turned his head with a brighten complexion.

Halstein said that today, Lariette went out very beautifully. It was clear that she would look beautiful no matter what she wore, but for some reason, my heart pounded even more and I was looking forward to it.

However, contrary to his expectations, the one who came out the front door was not the one he was waiting for.

“Duke Kandel!”

Sheria jumped down the stairs with a smile brighter than spring flowers.

“How have you been?”

“… Lady Mirchen?”

“Fufu, I want you to call me Sherry-!”

Even though he had been kind, she came out so rudely.

Therefore, he also no longer had to show kindness in the name of a friend.

Sheria thought so and grabbed Asrahan’s coat. Just like Lariette’s first meeting with Asrahan, it was a light touch like a feather.

“I missed you, Duke.”

Jewel-like pink eyes gleamed wildly.