I Thought I Didn’t Have Long To Live!

Chapter 72 (Decision)

‘It’s painful.’

My body was hot as if on a blazing fire.

The flames that rose from my heart mercilessly burned everything, not just my skin, but also the insides.

The scorching heat seemed to melt the organs.

Lariette wanted to curl up in the excruciating pain, but even that was too much. Everything that touched my skin felt like a knife.

‘It’s too painful.’

Tears welled up and ran down my face. Even the touch was painful, as if it had touched lava, and her skin was trembling.

If I had to endure this much pain, I’d rather die sooner rather than later. This must be a process that leads to death, but I did not know that the process would be long and painful.

‘Asrahan…’

Lariette muttered the name of the most important person, dripping with tears that melted her body.

The last time she saw his face floated in the dark. At the threshold of death, she opened her eyes with strength, and clearly saw him crying.

Unlike before when he was blunt without any emotion, he was more human and emotional than anyone else, who kept crying over her name, one can swear at him for being a monster.

Tears welled up as I remembered the scene. I wanted to wipe it quickly in the extreme heat, but I couldn’t move my body.

And then, as if reading her mind, something cold came and brushed her face.

Unlike the others, it was not a painful touch. Rather, it was cool and hard, so it seemed that a little bit of heat was going away.

Lariette was drunk with the coolness and gradually fell unconscious. I wanted to die like this, but I thought it was okay because I could forget the pain.

So it was dark for a while.

* * *

Blinking.

The familiar pattern of the ceiling appeared for a moment and then disappeared.

Blinking.

Lariette lifted her eyelids again, staring blankly into the air, and then slowly rolled her eyes.

Familiar things continued to appear.

Black ceilings, luxurious chandeliers, gold-embroidered tapestries…. I saw it in Asrahan’s room.

‘Is heaven the same as my favorite place?’

Lariette thought with an expressionless face. She brazenly believed that she would go to heaven, and Asrahan’s room was her favorite place, so she regarded it as a form of heaven.

She didn’t even consider the possibility of her own survival.

It was natural. Lariette stabbed in the heart with a sword, and it was far from the temple, and even if it were to be healed right away, it was difficult for even a priest to heal that wounds.

So there was no way she wouldn’t die.

‘Well, shall we explore heaven.’

Lariette slowly raised her upper body and looked around. To the extent that it was really creepy, everything looked exactly like Asrahan’s room.

After a moment of admiration, she glanced at her body. I saw a white dress with a simple design.

‘As expected, white is the best dress for heaven.’

Lariette thought foolishly and groped her limbs and the area around her heart. As if she had died and had been healed, her body had no scars left.

I was worried that I would have to walk around with disgusting skin as it was when I died, but the welfare of heaven seemed to be quite good.

Relieved, Lariette rose completely from his bed and took a step. I was in really good shape. The extreme pain I felt until I died felt like a dream.

‘I’m not sure if I can go through the wall.’

It might work for a ghost. Lariette stared at the sturdy wall and thought another foolish thought.

And it was the moment when she reached for the wall to try to pass it.

The door on the other side of the wall opened, and a voice I thought I would never hear again reached my ears.

“… Lariette?”

Lariette turned around slowly. Countless thoughts ran through her mind for a brief moment.

‘It can’t be. He could be, he could be here…’

Lariette repeated desperately in her heart. However, things that were not always desired became reality and appeared.

“Asrahan…?”

Asrahan stood in front of her.

His hair, which was always neatly raised, was messed up, and even the buttons on his black shirt were crooked, and he looked at her with a face that looked like he was about to cry.

His skin was flaky and his eyes were dark under his eyes. He hardly slept for a week and looked at her, so it was reasonable.

But his blue eyes were full of joy. The fact that she, who had always been lying in bed as if dead, opened her eyes made him overwhelmed.

Asrahan walked towards Lariette, step by step, with his red eyes.

And finally, facing her right in front of him, he slowly reached out and wrapped his arms around Lariette’s cheeks.

Illustration 

It was a careful and pathetic act, as if confirming that she was really alive.

It felt warm and soft to the touch on the skin. The moment I saw it, the tears I had been forced to swallow seemed to burst out again.

Asrahan clasped her lips to say something. But before she could speak, a voice full of weeping struck the player.

“Why why…”

Hah! Lariette took a deep breath. I was so emotional and out of breath that it was difficult to continue speaking.

“Why are you here, why is Asrahan… Hic, hic!”

The cry I had been holding back came out. Lariette began to cry like a child, shedding tears.

“Why did you come all the way here, Asrahan? All I need is one, why, why…! Hic…”

Asrahan struggled to understand what she was saying.

He wiped Lariette’s tears with his thumb and wrapped his other hand around her waist, trying to soothe her. It was no use.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Hic, I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? Please don’t say that.”

I am so grateful that you are alive. Asrahan said it with this intention, but it was a sound that would make Lariette even more sorry.

I have nothing to be sorry about! Asrahan died because of me!

She was so sorry and so guilty that Lariette could not raise her head. How did such a sinful person come to heaven with Asrahan?

“Only me, I should have been the only one to die…”

Asrahan looked down at her in shock at Lariette’s muffled mutter. It was too harsh for him who only wanted her to live.

However, with the following words, Asrahan realized that the situation was strange.

“I was kidnapped for nothing, leaving traces for nothing, hic. What should I do, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, hic…!”

Lariette was completely crying now. Asrahan stared at Lariette, who was crying with a bewildered gaze.

“I don’t deserve to go to heaven! The angels made a mistake! Die, Lariette, die and go to hell!”

“… Lariette.”

“Angel! An administrative error has occurred! I’m not an angel! Hic!”

What should I do with this?

Asrahan watched the scene where Lariette builds up the black history one by one, with her whole body hardened in an unimaginable situation.

She looked like she was going to die if she left it any longer, even pulling out a fruit knife. No, it’s something she might die of embarrassment later.

Judging by that, Asrahan rarely gave strength to his hand and grabbed Lariette’s shoulder. It was to calm her down.

“Lariette.”

“Hic! I, I’m sorry. Hic!”

Lariette did not stop apologizing until the very end. The figure was suddenly cute, and Asrahan gently rolled up the corners of his mouth and smiled.

“This is not heaven.”

“… So is it hell?”

Is hell so cozy these days? But the clothes are white. Lariette muttered an unfamiliar sound.

Realizing that she made the wrong point, he explained it again and again.

“No, it means you are not dead.”

“Huh? But… I have stabbed my heart. The temple was far away…”

How the hell did I survive that situation? Lariette tilted her head in disbelief.

As Lariette remembered herself committing suicide again, Asrahan’s lips hardened. He struggled to shake his thoughts and continued.

“At the same time, your close friend, a priest, was with you. It wasn’t too late, because he healed you right away.”

“Are you saying it’s because of Doha?”

“Yes.”

I didn’t see Doha at that time, but I thought it might be because the situation was so urgent.

But, no matter how quickly it healed, how could such a great wound completely healed?

“It was fortunate that the sword missed your heart. However, it was not a minor injury, so it took a long time for you to recover.”

Asrahan lied with an innocent face. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I had no choice but to do it.

Because this was what Doha was asking for in return for healing.

A few days ago, Doha visited Kandel’s mansion to check Lariette’s condition. To be honest, I wanted to come every day, but it was impossible because of the snow around me.

-What you want in return… You mean hiding your identity from Lariette?

-Yes. You understand it so well.

Doha took off the mask of a polite lower priest and answered arrogantly. As Mikhail Doha Bellion, he could do it.

The most powerful nobleman in the empire was the Duke of Kandel, he was the most powerful priest in the empire.

The pope was sometimes treated more than the Emperor, so there was no need for Doha to be polite to Asrahan any more.

-… May I ask why?

Asrahan treated Doha more politely than any other nobleman. It wasn’t because he was the next pope. It was only because he was the one who saved Lariette’s life.

-I don’t know. I don’t want to lose my comfortable relationship with Lariette, so let’s just say it.

-Okay. If there’s anything else you want, tell me I’ll pay you anything.

It was worth giving him anything for the price of her life. Even if it was to the title of Duke, or all of his fortune, he was determined to give it all away.

But Doha waved his hand saying it was not necessary. power, wealth, fame. He already had everything he had, so he didn’t need anything more.

The only thing he desperately needs is Lariette, her.

But what I wanted to win was her heart. Lariette is not an object, and if he ask for it, he won’t give it to him.

After completing the healing, Doha returned to the temple. That was his last visit, as all the minor healings were over that day.

Asrahan, who finished the recollection, was moved again and looked at her. Lariette looked as if she couldn’t believe she was still alive.

“Oh, did I miss it? I thought I stabbed it right.”

Wow, I survived… Lariette murmured blankly while fumbling near my heart. Of course, I knew I was going to die, so I was still stunned.

‘I’m glad Asrahan wasn’t dead.’

This was really fortunate. If Asrahan had died because of me, I really couldn’t stand the guilt.

The thought of being able to be with him again made me feel overwhelmed. As promised, I would be able to completely purify the curse.

Most of all, it was a great joy to be able to choose the end for myself.

The end.

As she recalled that word, suddenly reality came crashing down like a wave and swept over her.

‘The fate of death is the same, but….’

She survived there, but she didn’t have much time left. It said it took time to recover.

A vain hope arose as to whether even an incurable disease could be healed since a wound as large as this time had been recovered.

However, Lariette remembered Doha’s words, “You cannot cure an incurable disease unless you are like the Pope.” As a purification wizard, I also knew that the healing of trauma and the healing of diseases were different in quality.

The wish that perhaps healing might be possible was as fleeting as wishing a dead tree to blossom.

So, there was only one thing that could comfort her: the fact that she could spend the last time at her will.

On the other hand, when Asrahan heard the words, ‘I thought I had stabbed it right’, he frowned again.

I didn’t want to ask because I was just thankful she still alive. It was because I thought it could feel like questioning.

But after hearing those words, I couldn’t stop this question from coming out of my mouth.

“… Why?”

“Huh?”

“I’m asking why, why did you stab yourself?”

Lariette raised her head and met Asrahan’s eyes, and shut her mouth.

His expression looked so sad. It was sad, miserable, and desperate. It was the face she saw the moment she died.

“It felt like my whole body was exploding.”

Asrahan carelessly stroked Lariette’s face. It seemed as if he was constantly checking her safety.

“The moment that sharp metal pierced your body, I felt a pain more terrible than death and worse than a curse.”

“Asrahan….”

“Your blood soaked me, and my skin seemed to melt, and it was as if my breath had ripped apart my limbs and shattered my soul.”

Yeah, it would have been less painful to rip off a limb. Asrahan chewed on his lips as he recalled that terrible moment.

It was the same when nursing Lariette.

If she shed any tears, he wanted to shed tears of blood, and if her heart rate slowed even a little, it felt like my heart would fall.

A week was longer than a year. It was probably the longest and most painful week of his life.

“You are precious to me, Lariette.”

Asrahan looked straight at Lariette and said in a serious voice.

“I love you.”

Thump. Lariette’s heart fell with a loud sound.

“If you die, I can’t live either.”

It felt like goosebumps all over my body. Her head felt heavy as if she had been hit by someone.

‘Asrahan loves me.’

It was a fact that I had pretended not to know, even though it had been a long time ago. However, when he gave up his arms for herself, who had been kidnapped, Lariette instinctively realized his love.

Nevertheless, she chose death because she did not want Asrahan to be hurt. Though he would be very heartbroken, she thought it was better than having his arm cut off.

However, Asrahan’s love went in a direction she did not expect. He was really saying that if Lariette died, he would die too.

‘He might really die if he finds out I has time limit.’

Lariette, who had captured her heart, rolled up the corners of her mouth and smiled. It was to reassure him.

“I’m sorry, Asrahan. It was because you were so precious. I’m sorry.”

You are so precious Lariette added desperately in her heart.

Because you’re so precious, so…

“I will never die in front of Asrazan. Don’t worry.”

I must leave you now.