I Want To Become a Beautiful Girl, Be Spoiled, and Live Life on Easy Mode!

Chapter 10: 【Off-Collab】Are the two people who suck at talking srsly having a first-time off nya?【Kuroneko San/Sera Matsuri】・ Part 1

The rendezvous point was decided to be in front of the local train station.

This is because Matsuri-senpai is a college student living by herself while I’m a high school student living in my parent’s home.

Due to those circumstances, Matsuri-senpai likely has more freedom and is therefore matching my location.

If you’re capable of being considerate, then don’t do something ridiculous like scheduling an off-collab without my permission and throwing all the work onto me! I want to yell that out! But I can’t, how miserable.

And now it’s 30 minutes before the meeting time.

My mouth’s already dry, I’m getting these weird cold sweats, my limbs feel cold and numb, and my entire body is quivering.

I didn’t get a lot of sleep yesterday, my stomach’s been hurting since this morning, and the sun feels like it’s trying to burn my face off.

It’s as if the whole world is going against me.

【Twitter】

【Kuroneko San＠Arutema 2nd Generation/＠kuroneko_altm】

Can I run away?　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

【Cabbage Jirou Gorou/＠xxxxxx】

　＠kuroneko_altm

Don’t even try

【Zubababan/＠xxxxxx】

　＠kuroneko_altm

O f f c o l l a b 0people

【Natsunami Yui＠Arutema 2nd Generation/＠natunami_yuiyui】

　＠kuroneko_altm

You said you were going to do your best earlier though…

【Sera Matsuri/＠Sera_Matsuri】

　＠kuroneko_altm

I’m here

Nnaaaaa!

No time to even run!

A stranger calling out to me would give me a jumpscare but calling out to someone is also nightmare mode.

That’s why I only told her my outfit in advance.

【LINE】

12:34：Kuroneko San　I’m wearing a black one piece dress and standing in front of the ticket gate

This is an inkya technique where I respond like this in order to have them call out to me.

But the flaw in this technique is that I must arrive there before the other person and it’s necessary to tell them about my appearance before they do.

「Kuroneko, san……?」

「Hya!」

While suppressing the urge to run away and vomit, someone called out to me.

This voice, it’s one I’ve heard countless times on streams!

I held back my viewer spirit and raised my gaze from the ground.

「A, a, ah, umm」

It’s a beautiful lady. One so pretty it makes me avert my eyes without thinking.

Even from me, who has confidence in being a beautiful girl, she looks like a beauty who wouldn’t even lose to a common model.

Awshome……

「Are you, Kuroneko-san?」

「Ehh, umm, yes, I’m Kuroneko……」

「………I see」

Saying that, the woman—Sera Matsuri—stared at a specific part of my body, mainly my chest.

「Umm」

「So big……you’re this big even though you’re Kuroneko-san. Are you a fake?」

「I, I’m the real one」

「………I see」

W, what’s with this mood!?

I’ve watched her streams before so I knew she was a quiet person.

And I’ve also been forced to understand painfully well how much of a wild card she is in the past week.

Even so, is staring at one’s chest at the first meeting normal? As expected, even I’m getting embarrassed !

「Kuroneko-san is so big even though she’s flat-chested……Everything’s been a lie」

「S, sorry for being boing boing」

I, I wanna go home!

Even now, I think having us two do an off-collab was crazy talk from the start.

At least put Yuimama in the middle so the conversation will last! There’s zero progress to be made! Help me Yuimamaaa!!

「H, hey!」

「Nn」

But I’ve prepared a suicide attack deck for times like this from the marshmallows.

Take this, Festival (Matsuri) deck!

「Senpai, do you have any festivals you like?」

「?」

「For me, it’s no doubt……Sera Matsuri, 100 percent!」

「??」

「Soiya1」

「???」

「So, soiya」

「????」

「Wasshoi!」

「?????」

aaAAAAAAAHH!!!

What the fuck! What the hell is this『Festival』deck! It’s totally useless!! You can’t use it when the time comes!!!

The atmosphere is totally weird

S, somehow, I have to somehow change the topic.

「U, uhh, there's still time until the stream so, what should we do……!?」

If possible, I want to go home this instant.

「What are we doing for the stream?」

「Ah, uh. K, k, karaoke……stuff like that, how about it?」

I’d kill to not sing in front of people.

But yesterday, I consulted with Natsunami Yui and eventually decided to have a karaoke stream.

According to her, it seems that the viewers won’t be satisfied with just reading marshmallows on the long-awaited off-collab.

Since it’s the long-awaited off-collab, it’d be sacrilegious to not do something like one. In that case, I should challenge myself and take on the difficult matchup, a singing stream, and reduce the burden on my weakness—talking—no matter how small.

But the problem is that karaoke and talking both use the mouth so I will still suck regardless.

「You said you hated karaoke two days ago」

「I just hate all meetings in real……」

It’s a matter of which one’s more painful.

Conversing with people or singing with people.

Having my singing voice be heard by others is undoubtedly hell-like, but I know that blundering in a conversation is a hell that will torture you for eternity.

Then I shall choose the temporary hell of humiliation!

「Then let’s go to the karaoke」

「Ah, o, okay」

「Where is the local karaoke bar?」

「U, uhh……」

I’ve no clue where the karaoke bar is since I’ve never karaoke’d by myself, let alone with friends

But I’m sure you’ll find one sooner or later if you just randomly walk around in front of the station

Matsuri-senpai should be satisfied if we go to a random place and casually sing.

Ah, but Natsunami Yui said to go to a place that has a contract with management.

Otherwise, since we are company affiliated, troublesome stuff like unauthorized use of their sounds will happen. At worst, the channel will get banned.　

Luckily, the major chain stores seem to have no problems if we stream without their permission, so I should probably search for the stores on my phone while walking around.

「L, looks like there’s one over here」

「Nn」

Rumor has it there was no contract originally. But, when Matsuri-senpai asked the management to enable her to sing freely, a contract was made the next day. Something like that.

Well, it’s still a rumor at the end of the day and only the higher-ups would know.

But even so, looking at Matsuri-senpai being unable to hide her happiness under her expressionless face, I can only say good job to the management.

　◆

【Off-Collab】Are the two people who suck at talking srsly having a first-time off nya?【Kuroneko San/Sera Matsuri】

　32,491 Watching：Kuroneko San　Subscribers 23,529

　#Kuroneko-santime #Festivaltime

「It’s time to start」

：Oh!

：Matsuri-chan!

：Did you safely meet up!?

：You alive, Kuroneko-san?

「Kuroneko-san is, mhm」

：Ah（Guessed it）

：We’ve lost a beloved individual…

「Kuroneko-san is on the toilet」

：A woman who exposes the fact her collab partner is on the toilet

：Why didn’t you wait for her to come back?

：Kuronekooo! Come back quick!!

I saw that Matsuri-senpai already started the stream when I came back.

Why?

「Ma, Matsuri-senpai?」

「Ah, she’s back」

：Welcome back from the toilet

：Did you have a nice piss?

：Toilet style opening for first off

「Ha, haaAAAAA!?!?」

What is this senpai doing!?

Isn’t there a limit to everything!?

Could she be rookie crushing!? Am I on her hit list!?

「Now that Kuroneko-san is back, let’s start the stream」

「Y, you already started the stream though」

「That’s true」

：Doesn’t Kuroneko-san’s voice sound distant?

：Or rather, where are they?

：This is…a karaoke box? Which means San-chan is sitting on the opposite end of the seat

：Karaoke!? Finally a singing stream!?

：The long-awaited first singing stream is the first off-collab!? Nice job!

Chat is flowing by at an incredible speed.

The speed looks to be more than double the usual. It’s on a different level from my first collab with Natsunami Yui.

Huh, this means I have to sing in front of this many people? I’m gonna die.

「A, au, umm, I’ll, be, reading marshmallows」

This was also advice from Yuimama.

Reading marshmallows like usual before singing to smoothen my mouth movements.

Well, my real motive was to delay singing as much as possible!

And so, I want to read the usual shitty marshmallows to calm my mind down!

【Marshmallow】

Nn Matsunya〜

I heard you have a collab with Matsuri-senpai on Sunday, so I’ve taken the liberty to create some topic decks for you.

Games you want to play

Preferences in women

Current p〇nties’ color

That’s all.

「W, what do you think, Matsuri-senpai?」

「Any game is good as long as I can play with everyone. By the way, what’s your preference in women?」

What are my viewers saying to my senpai!?

Why underwear color!?

「I don’t know about my type, but I think Kuroneko-san is cute. She’s big and small in the right places」

：Kimashita waaa2

：Matsuneko

：Big and small in the right places?

「NyaaAA A A A AH, my current underwear is a risqué black!!!」

：!?

：Ku, Kuroneko-san?

：A risqué one

「I bought them through mail order on a whim and it’s just been gathering dust in the back of my drawers as my lucky underwear nya!! Also, don’t sexually harass Matsuri-senpai!」

What the hell is my senpai saying!?

I know I usually declare myself as boing boing but no one would describe someone’s real appearance like that on an off-collab!

Now I’m stuck with describing my underwear in front of tens of thousands of viewers.

：Wearing lucky underwear on the off-collab with Matsuri-chan…I see!

：Aren’t you a perverted female cat…

：I can’t see this stream in the same way now

：※Currently wearing risqué black underwear

「A a a a ah, l, let’s go to the next」

【Marshmallow】

There’s this annoying Liver who keeps saying komyushou komyushou.

Honestly, they’re just a hindrance to Yui-taso so why not force them to graduate?

Graduate♪Graduate♪Hurry up and graduate♪

I’ll spam this!!♪

「Aa〜my mind’s at peace〜〜」

：Don’t calm yourself with graduation marshmallows

：It’s my first time watching Kuroneko San but I can tell she’s crazy…

Natsunami Yui✓：What is this…

「I want to choose the next」

「A ah, yes, go ahead」

Matsuri senpai approaches without hesitation and looks at the marshmallows at a distance where our shoulders are touching.

Some strands of her hair are touching my right ear.

My heart’s beating from this nice smell and the feel of something soft! What is this what is this!?

How should I put it, secretly sitting close enough to touch, this is so lewd!!!!!

「Ah, this one」

「Nya!? W, what ish it?」

【Marshmallow】

Excuse me, I have a request.

Can I use you to fap…？

「What does “fap” mean?」

「Nnnn, let’s sing!!!!」

：草

：So the JK San-chan knows what it means

：It’s the time stop brainwashing hypnotism training corruption by pleasure loving Kuroneko-san after all！

：And she wears lewd underwear on her first off with her favorite senpai!

：Licentious cat (inkya)3

「I’m gonna end it!? I’m gonna end the stream!? Are you fine with me ending the off-collab!?」

What’s with them making up new character traits for me!?

：hai! Sorry!

：Your mouth is out of control today

：Are you going to last?

「M, Matsuri-senpai, have you went to karaoke before?」

「I came with Kirin recently. The french fries were good」

「He, hee〜」

：Expand on the topic!

：Just starting the conversation is character development

：You’ve become a splendid person, Kuroneko

「W, what are you singing? If it’s the tambourine, please leave it to me」

If I can’t sing, I can use the musical instruments provided to liven things up. It’s a karaoke technique my viewers taught me.

「Are you going to sing first?」

「Huh, ah, mm……」

Should I refuse the invitation from my senpai?

But wait.

I’m sure Yuimama said it yesterday.

In karaoke, it’s better to sing first rather than the other way around.

If the other person is skilled at singing, then it raises the hurdle and makes you nervous.

But if I sing first, even if I’m poor at it, I can finish the song. In the worst case scenario that I sing only once and fade out afterwards, I’ll be forgiven as long as I hype up the songs.

Then there’s only one path for me!

「I, I’ll sing. Kuroneko San will be taking the lead, nya!」

Soiya and wasshoi are chants for Japanese festivals

Japanese meme for when a yuri situation is about to happen

They put together kanji that can be pronounced as inkya while meaning licentious cat