I Was a Substitute

Chapter 5  I Was Already Standing On The Edge Of A Cliff

 

****

 

I thought I was going to walk away without even seeing her face. I feigned nonchalance as I looked at Charlotte. Her silver hair slightly tousled, her brown skin rough and slightly tanned, her green eyes frightened, as if she had been through a lot.

 

And then there was the skinny body that showed through the saggy clothes as if they were stolen from someone else. Except for the silver hair and green eyes, the Charlotte of today was nothing like the one I remembered. I laughed to myself, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her, who was looking like a poor, motherless puppy. It was so long ago that I had forgotten how shabby she looked when I first met her. Of course, all of that was just an act.

 

She once told me, “I knew how to make people’s hearts beat.”

 

Not only did she have a shabby appearance, but she planned to make a mockery of it. She was only trying to get the sympathy vote so that she could easily join the pack.

 

I stared at Charlotte quietly.

 

At first, I thought that Charlotte hated me for taking her things away from her. But as I looked at her with less emotion, I realised that this was not necessarily the only reason. The Charlotte I remembered was always overly calculated. Perhaps, she had prepared for this moment for a long time.

 

“Oh, hello,” Charlotte, who had been in a constant mood, greeted me first.

 

“Hello,” I said, trying to be as emotionless as possible in response to her greeting.

 

“I see that you have previous engagements.”

 

“No, I had no engagement, but I was going to have tea with his lordship at this hour, and he did not come today,” said Charlotte, shuddering, unable to continue.

 

She looked as if she was about to cry, like a frightened herbivore. Even I, who knew how well she was acting, was puzzled.

 

“I’m done with my business, I’ll go now.”

 

I took a short deep breath and stood up quickly. I tried not to care, and there was nothing I could do. Looking at the tearful face of Charlotte, I felt a sudden cringe. Every time she looked like that, I always felt like a sinner. I decided to end it all, and I didn’t want to hang out with her especially now.

 

“Are you sure you want to go?”

 

“Yes, I have to go.”

 

“Take care. Don’t forget what I said.”

 

“Yes, I will.”

 

My father was truly sorry for me. But that was all. His sad but never-setting-the-date attitude only made it more obvious that it was a silly guilt trip.

 

“Are you leaving already?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You can stay a little longer….” Charlotte looked at me and mumbled.

 

“No, thank you. I’ve finished my business.”

 

I looked at Charlotte with a relaxed smile on my lips. I walked past her without a care, ignoring the round eyes that were searching me. I hoped that in her eyes I would appear to be alright.

 

****

 

I walked briskly with a hat on my head. Despite the fact that I was leaving the mansion for good, my luggage was light. Some clothes, a pair of boots and a bag full of rubbish were all I had. My father told me to take everything with me, but I didn’t want anything, so I left everything behind except for the things I really needed. When I first came to the house I didn’t think I’d run away like this…

 

I tried to pull myself together, but it was never going to be easy when I realised that my life had been nothing but the best I could be. But it was not the time to show my weakness. I should pull myself together because I didn’t know what was going to happen next. I had to remember that this was not the end for me, but the beginning. I clenched my lips as I saw the flag fluttering in the distance.

 

I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand and straightened my back at the sight of the Mona Chareuteu’s writing on the flag, the symbol of the unwelcome stranger.

 

There was nothing to fear. There was nothing for me to be afraid of losing. I was already standing on the edge of a cliff.

 

***

 

“Mother, is that the savage?”

 

“Don’t look over there. You might catch a disease.”

 

“I don’t know what is the matter with the world, that a barbarian can be in the capital so openly.”

 

Despite the fact that I had never been on the road before, it was not difficult to reach the residence where Archduke Mona Chareuteu was staying. Even though it was on a new road, even if she didn’t ask where it was, just going near it, people were busy saying bad things about the northerners.

 

“By the way, he never changes his expression.”

 

“I’m sure he can hear people. I don’t know whether it’s a matter of indifference or familiarity.”

 

I saw a man silently guarding the gate of the mansion. He was large and fair-skinned. A typical Northerner, he was dressed in an exotic manner and did not look anything like a man from the capital. I glanced around, then carefully walked toward him.

 

“What do you want?”

 

As soon as I was within a certain distance, the man guarding the front door stopped me. His voice sounded dull, not very high or low.

 

“I am here to see His Highness, Archduke Mona Chareuteu.”

 

I replied shortly and pulled down my hat strongly, which hid my face. The conversation with the northerners was a feast for the eyes, and early on I could feel the stern stares of those around me.

 

“Do you have an appointment with His Highness?”

 

“No appointment, but it’s important. I know it’s rude, but could you please speak to the Archduke once?”

 

 

 

Unlike other regions, the North was an unusually closed group, and it was difficult to contact them, let alone meet. That was why I have been trying to get in touch with Archduke Mona Chareuteu, but I have not achieved my goal.

 

once

 

“What is so important?”

 

“I can’t say it. I must see him in person.”

 

“I’m sorry, but you must go.”

 

“Go back?”

 

“No one is allowed in without an invitation. That’s the rule.”

The man blocked the entrance with the shield he was holding, expressing his refusal once again.

 

 

 

“It is important.”

 

“I have no right to judge its importance. If you want to go in, make an official appointment.”

 

“I’m here because I can’t reach him.”

 

“He, too, is none of my business. I’m just a gatekeeper.”

 

The man was resolute and consistent, I could not see even the slightest sign of hesitation. Eventually, with a short sigh, I stepped back.

 

“Then how can I get an appointment with His Highness?”

 

“Leave your contact information, you’ll be notified.”

 

“How long will it take for him to meet me?”

 

“I don’t know. I just report what I’m supposed to.”

 

The man replied mechanically. I frowned reflexively.

 

“I understand that the Archduke will soon be leaving for the capital…”

 

“Yes, that’s right,” the man replied, and despite his straightforward answer, my mind became complicated.

 

Even though many words were exchanged, Mona Chareuteu, after all, was also an imperial place. The four Grand Dukes of the Empire were obliged to visit the capital once a year, and this week they would do so in this state. If I missed this opportunity, I would have to go directly to the north to meet him. But that was impracticable. The North was a very cold region where even transportation was not properly developed.

 

It was said that the northerners have a special way of getting to and from the capital, but as I did not belong to their flock, I could not bring myself to go to the north. If possible, I had to meet Archduke Mona Chareuteu and his party before they left for the capital.

 

“Does that mean I have to sit and wait for His Highness’s call?”

 

“It’s His Highness’s decision if he wants to meet you, not mine.”

 

“What if His Highness doesn’t meet me and leave for the capital?”

 

“Then you have to wait until he returns.”

 

The Archduke would stay in the capital for only a week.

 

If my proposal was not answered, I would have to wait a year.

 

“I don’t have time to wait. Is there no other way?”

 

“You must defeat me. If not, the best thing is to wait.”

 

I frowned at the man who spoke so easily of defeating himself. I had heard that Northerners would get what they want by dueling in times of trouble.

 

“But…,” I frowned reflexively. Unlike the man who had answered, I wasn’t in the mood for a casual challenge. I could see at once that he was not an easy opponent. There was a clear difference in size, but above all, the man’s eyes were precisely sharp.

 

He was not the kind of person who anyone could defeat easily. That man must have had a much harder life than most, and he must be stronger for it.

 

‘What can I do?’ I asked myself, but in fact, I already had the answer.

 

“If I beat you here, will I be able to see His Highness right away?”

 

“Yes, if you can,” he said, “I’ll risk my life to help you see him.”

 

The man easily assured me that he was sure I would not be able to beat him. I took a deep breath and stared at him.

 

“I’ll fight you.”

 

“Are you serious….?”

 

“I must see His Highness at all costs, even if it means risking my life.”

 

The smooth brows of the man narrowed as I stared at him with determination.

 

“It is not difficult to fight a duel if you want, but you must know this clearly.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“The moment you are defeated, everything you do will be regarded as hostile to Mona Chareuteu. It’s a privilege to be forgiven for disrespect, given only to the winner.”

 

The man’s voice sounded low with warning. It was a voice that sent shivers down my spine just by hearing it.

 

“That means everything is fine if I win?”

 

“You can’t beat me.” the man assured me.

 

“We’ll have to wait and see.”

 

I countered with a grin.

 

“You’ll regret it.”

 

“If I leave like this, I will regret it even more.”

 

“Okay….There is no reason to avoid the challenge, so I will do as you wish. Please pick your weapon.”

 

The man took out a spear that he was carrying on his back. The spear, with its curved blade, was the first weapon I had seen in the capital.

 

“I don’t need weapons.”

 

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“Pride only causes failure.”

 

The moment the man lifted the spear high and blossomed on the floor, the floor rang. The stone floor that his spear was stuck with was shattered into pieces. Fortunately, I avoided it, but I thought how many lives would be enough if I was hit by such a thing directly.