Episode 19 – Growing Anxiety

The next day I was heading to school as usual.

(I never thought my step sister would give me that kind of look.)

Last night, when I reported to my step sister that I had become a member of the public morals committee, she almost fell off her chair. I guess it was a shock to her, she was surprised with her eyes wide open. Then she said to me,

[Do you have a fever?]

Was that too much to take?

So I headed off to school, still not quite sure what was going on. Okay, I’ll get my revenge on Kisaragi sometime, somewhere.

While I was thinking about that, I saw that student again.

(Blonde hair, blue eyes……Nanase Natsume.)

Recently, the topic of her has finally reached my class. A super beautiful girl who is half-Japanese and a model has enrolled in the first grade. From the corner of the classroom, I heard Kisaragi making a fuss with great interest.

I was curious too, so I looked her up on the Internet and found that she was just starting out as a model. However, her good looks made her the cover of some magazine despite being a rookie.
Because of this, she’s being praised as one of the hottest high school students. If you look closely, you can see that she’s surrounded by a group of boys walking around her. They must be checking her out.

“……What a waste of time.”

Oops, I just said it out loud. But it can’t be helped, because I thought it was really a waste of time. They must’ve been fascinated by Nanase.

(Ulterior motives……,no, feelings of love…..hm.)

Unfortunately, I’ve never been in love. In fact, I have a tendency to think that men and women are the same. There’s no difference between men and women except for a slight difference in body structure. The difference between men and women arises from the different approaches to upbringing.
Although I was raised as a man, I wonder what would have happened if I had been raised as a girl. I try to imagine, but I still don’t know.

(…… Grandma, I don’t know how other people feel.)

I’m the kind of person who kind of knows what people are thinking, but I don’t know why they’re feeling. I know the result, but I can’t derive the formula to get there.

[Several men, several minds. remember these words.]

I think my grandma said something like that. But, does it really matter? Everyone has his or her own way of thinking, but that will change over time. In the end, we cannot rely on sentiment theory.

“……”

Sass!

While I was thinking philosophical thoughts on my own, Nanase started running at once. She’s got a nice running style. I’m sure she’s the type with good athleticism.

[ [ [ [ !? ] ] ] ]

The boys who were walking nearby also started walking fast at once. Hmmm, this is a superb view. Just like the ants that swarm the queen ant.
As the boys became sparse, there were no more people around me. Yes, this is the way it should be.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to make the best of today.”

And I headed off to school to follow the boys who had disappeared.

※

Well, it’s only lunchtime, but there’s already an emergency. I was immediately summoned by the committee through Shichinomiya sensei. And it was right after school. Shit, I`m going to die from all the trouble.

“……Sigh.”

While I was in this state of mind, I heard a sigh from the seat next to mine. . Yukihana was eating bread from a convenience store alone.
Apparently, when she became the vice president I heard about the contents of the work she was in charge of. I heard that it was a lot more than I expected. No, it’s definitely better than the Public Morals Committee.

Incidentally, Yukihana doesn’t have lunch with Kisaragi. Kisaragi knows that Yukihana prefers to eat lunch alone, so she makes it a point not to invade her time of the day. She spends the rest of the day getting along well with her other friends.

(Perhaps the Public Discipline Committee…..)

I didn’t think too much about it yesterday, but I’m thinking about this committee again. When I was a freshman, I belonged to the library committee and had it pretty easy. But this year, it’s not so easy. I have one thing in mind.

(The public morals committee has many opportunities to get involved with the student council because of its activities…….)

In other words, maybe I will be involved with some familiar people from now on.

First, my step sister. In fact, we have never spoken to each other in school. It’s partly because we simply haven’t had a chance to meet, but we try not to get involved with each other.
One is a failure who has a step sister who’s an excellent student council president, and the other is a student council president who has a failure step brother. If I let people around me recognize this image, it will surely cause trouble. Therefore, my step sister would not try to get involved with me at school. Or so I would like to think.

However, there is one more person I should be worried about.

(……It’s Sakura.)

I wonder if my step sister is some kind of genius who harasses me. I can’t believe they made her the vice-president of the student council, of all people. I don’t think she’s capable of that…..

(No, the last time I saw her was about three years ago…..so I’m sure she’s grown up since then.)

When I was in elementary school, I didn’t have much to do with Kisaragi Yuu. This was due to the fact that Kisaragi Yuu was closed off from the people around her. I’m not sure if it’s because of the kidnapping incident, but I’ve rarely had a long conversation with her since. That’s why I’m unnoticed by her.

(Kisaragi aside,……,I’m not so sure about dealing with that girl.)

For about a year, Sakura and I have spent a lot of time together. After advancing to the second year of middle school and changing classes, I didn’t get involved much, but I still have a lot of anxiety.
Above all, she’s……

(I’ve been with her for a long time, so she knows what I’m up to.)

I still have all sorts of secret weapons (over-defense) and more technology than I can handle (most of it above the law). I’ve shown a lot of it to her while I was with her, and I’ve also taught Sakura a lot of other skills.

(mind-reading, negotiation, the ability to find rational solutions, how to behave in such a way that the other party won’t lick you, simple and applicable self-defense techniques, and…. um, what else did I teach her?)

There were so many things I taught her that I don’t remember. Anyway, she has acquired many of the skills I have developed. Even though she’s not as good as me, she’s the top person to watch out for at this school.
And what a mistake, such a person is stuck close to my step sister. This can only be described as a nightmare.

Maybe I don’t have the right to say that, but I don’t want to see her anymore either. I still haven’t fully healed from the wounds in my heart.

“Sigh….”

I sigh unintentionally. I felt that Yukihana was looking at me sharply, telling me not to imitate her, but I ignored it and thought about what happened after school.

(First of all, let’s get through this meeting.)

I don’t think I’ll have a chance to get involved with him today, so for now, I’ll just think about how much easier I can make it at the Public Morals Committee.

Thinking about this, I started to eat the rice ball I was about to eat. I knew that the mentaiko from the convenience store was a mess. The combination of tuna mayo and kelp might be the best. I’ll buy those two next time.

I’m eating my onigiri while listening to music as if I’m imitating Yukihana, but I don’t know yet that I’m going to fall into an unbelievably tense situation after this. I guess I didn’t want to even imagine it.

I never thought that I would actually meet…….her.