I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

It's been weeks since Julia took a step out of the bedroom.

There was more surveillance around the castle, and Fernan guarded her every move on a daily basis.

He would not give her even the slightest chance to escape.

It didn't take long for Julia's will to be broken by this. There was no way she could find a way out of this situation.

The days passed in such a stifling manner.

Late in the afternoon, Julia sat huddled in her bed.

The look in her eyes was one of resignation.

A while later, she heard the sound of someone opening the door. Julia closed her eyes from the start and put her head down.

Because there was only one person who could come in this room.

"Julia.”

With a muffled voice, steps approached. While Julia was silent with her head buried in her knees, one side of the bed caved in.

Fernan, sitting beside her, reached out and touched her shoulder. Still Julia did not look up.

Fernan kept her still and looked around the bedroom. The meal he had brought her a few hours ago was left untouched.

Some books and neatly folded clothes on the table were also untouched.

Fernan, his brow narrowed gently, opened his mouth.

"I don’t know about everything else, but eat."

"…"

"Will you listen to me if I force you then?"

Fernan continued to speak to Julia, who gave no answer.

Hiding his frustration, he eventually grabbed Julia's cheek and made her look at him.

It was only then that Julia's pale face finally turned to him, but she did not meet his gaze.

Fernan stared at her long lashes, then reached out to her and forcibly lifted her up. He stepped over to the table and sat Julia down.

He then took the tray, which was completely cold, and ordered the attendant to bring him a new one.

While Fernan was at the door, Julia immediately got up and went back to bed.

"Julia."

When Fernan grabbed her hand, Julia shook him off with a feeble effort. The eyes looking back at him were empty. While Fernan looked far away for a moment at the sight, the attendant brought a new meal in.

 "Eat."

Fernan, who had finally regained his senses, once again led Julia to sit in front of the table.

Julia quickly turned her head to the side, and he gently grabbed her frail chin and turned her to him.

He picked up a spoonful of food and held it out to her mouth. When Julia didn't open her mouth, Fernan recited in a quiet voice.

"If you want to do this long all day, do so."

"…"

It was only then that Julia, who had finally turned her gaze to look at him, moved her lips for the first time.

"I'll eat on my own.”

Fernan’s expression softened faintly.

He gave Julia the silverware and held hand directly over the dishes before finally sitting down on the other side of her.

Julia stared down at the warm, freshly prepared food and then glanced at Fernan on the other side.

She was sure that Fernan would sit there until she was finished with it.

In the end, Julia slowly moved the fork around and scooped up some of the food.

However, with no appetite and no feelings, Julia put down the fork before she could even eat half of it.

As she got up and walked back to bed, Fernan gently cleaned up the meal tray without saying anything else. Julia slowly lay down on the bed. The fact that this was Fernan’s bedroom didn't give her any more cause for concern.

She just wanted to sleep like this.

But soon she had to force her eyes open by a hand supporting her body.

"Didn't you sleep enough already?"

Julia tried to lie down again without reply, but was prevented again.

Gently grabbing her shoulders, Fernan made eye contact with her . But Julia turned her gaze without looking at him.

"Stop being so stubborn."

"…"

"It'll be over if you say you'll stay by my side."

Julia's quiet gaze finally turned to Fernan. But time passed, and nothing came out of her mouth.

Her lips were still closed, and her stare at him was filled with the will not to say what he wanted.

Fernan’s face gradually hardened.

Staring at her closed lips, he reached out and raised her soft chin. He lowered his head as if he was going to kiss her, but stopped just before their lips touched. Julia didn't comply, didn't rebel, just averted her gaze.

"…"

Fernan watched her for a moment, then slowly raised his head and let go of her face. Julia stared at him as he turned away and let go of the hem of the dress she was holding. She lied down and closed her eyes again, but Fernan didn’t say anything this time.

Julia erased all kinds of thoughts that shook her mind.

***

Since that day, Julia has been suffering from a fever.

Her doctor visited again and again, but she showed no sign of improvement, even after taking her medicine. Julia gasped for air as she lay buried in bed. She heard someone talking in the background. 

“Her Highness is weaker than before.”

"…"

"She needs to move her body, even if it's just a light walk. She must also increase her food intake. Most of all…no more mental pressure."

When Julia opened her eyes gently, she saw Fernan silently listening to the doctor's firm words. Then, Julia closed her eyes again and immediately fell asleep. 

While Julia slept, the sky quickly darkened. After a while, a faint moonlight leaked into the room, which had turned into a dense night. Fernan stood still beside Julia, who was deeply asleep. His large hand touched her forehead. 

The cool, comfortable touch gently relaxed Julia's eyes. The hand that had stayed for a while as if measuring her temperature quickly fell from her forehead to her cheek. The cold touch gradually cooled her heated cheeks. A quiet voice descended.

 "Julia."

Fernan continued to mumble, even though there was no way she could hear him.

“Don't think about leaving."

“…”

"Even if it hurts, hurt by my side."

"…"

Fernan gently grabbed her hand. He knew it was his fault that she was this sick.

 He kept her locked up and prevented her from going anywhere, so her weak body must have been under a lot of pressure.

But he didn't know what else he could do to keep her here.

He felt more and more unsure of everything.

The surge of emotion he always felt whenever he looked at Julia crumbled while she was constantly trying to get away from him.

He didn't want to hurt her, but he wanted to keep her by his side, even if it hurt.

He could give her anything she wanted if she would just stay by his side. 

But why does she keep trying to escape?

Why doesn't she look at him the way she used to?

Julia, who always expressed her love for him with her eyes, was no longer there. That fact twisted and stimulated his mind. The more she tried to escape, the more he couldn't let go.

An uneasy look that even he couldn't help himself gave way to her sleeping eyes.

Then suddenly, as she was moving her hands in her sleep, she gently grasped his hand.

The faint touch of her skin shook his heart. He swept Julia's forehead, which broke out in a cold sweat.

He hoped that she would never let go of his hand for the rest of her life. He sincerely hoped that she would remain only within his realm forever.

***

Julia came out of her long fever on a day when the snow began to fall slowly after a long absence.

The dawn was as dark as ever. Julia sat up, feeling light-headed.

When she blinked her eyes in a daze, she saw Fernan sitting on the sofa with the moonlight shining at him through the window.

Julia stared at him with a quiet gaze. Perhaps fell asleep while sitting, because he did not move a muscle.

Come to think of it, she had never seen Fernan sleep before. 

It was only natural since they barely even saw each other, let alone seeing him sleep.

Julia quietly moved away from the bed, feeling incomprehensible. 

Fernan did not open his eyes, even as she stepped and moved on the floor. She approached him with the utmost breathlessness. 

His closed eyelids did not move at all slightly. Watching his face carefully, Julia glanced at the door.

Suddenly, the thought occurred to her that she might be able to get out of here now.