I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

Julia only looked up at him as he entered the doorway.

 He hated it and had to struggle to let it go, but strangely, his body did not have any strength.

 As they went up the stairs and passed the hallway, Melissa, who was just standing in front of the bedroom, was startled and bowed her head.

Without looking at Melissa for a moment, Fernan entered the bedroom.

 At that moment, Yulia, who suddenly came to her senses, struggled in his arms.

Despite the hand that pushed him forcefully, Fernan steadfastly crossed the room and approached the bed.

As she was placed on the bed, Julia opened her mouth unsteadily again.

“Are you going to lock me up like this again?  Again, take me to this hell…."

At the word hell, Fernan's dark eyes fell deeply.

For Julia, he was hell. It was just a prison where she couldn’t live comfortably.

 "…even if it's hell…"

 Fernan, who muttered dangerously, then bowed his head.

 "But please stay here."

He took a step back and turned around slowly. Julia looked at his overbearing back as he walked away and touched her forehead.

Click, as the door closed, her head began to ache.

Thump-thump, feeling her precariously beating heart, she lowered her gaze. Her vision was gradually blurring.

 ***

 A day passed like that.

In the morning after not being able to sleep all night, the attending physician, Lockman, came to visit Julia.

It was only then that Julia learned that she had been unconscious for 10 days since she was taken to Fernan.

It was the first time she had been unconscious for so long, since she fell off a cliff a year ago.

Lockman grabbed her wrist and felt her pulse for a while. He was gauging something with his gaze down, and soon raised his head.

“Fortunately, I can feel your blood vessels beating a little now.  But….”

 Lockman spoke to Fernan, who was standing next to him.

 As if hesitating, he urged him as he watched Lockman dragging his words.

“Are there any other problems?”

 “…that, the blood flow is still not smooth. The blood flow to her heart is blocked."

Lockman glanced at Julia, who was sitting there with her expressionless face.

 “Your Grace, do you not feel any pain?”

Julia had a pale complexion and a quiet face as if she had no pain.

She lowered her gaze without answering Lockman's question.

It wasn't that she didn't feel the pain.

However, she was mentally concentrated and only trying to forget her pain.

Julia was noticing that at this moment, her power had faded a lot more than before.

 Previously, it had felt like a mist in my heart, but now it was barely felt.

 So, that meant that her vitality was greatly reduced.

Looking at Julia, who had an empty expression, Fernan wrapped his chin with nervousness.

He already knew that she had heart disease.

He heard reports from the doctor whom he had sent to Holy Land the other day that she was gradually getting better.

But contrary to reports, she recently lost her consciousness for a long time.

In the end, it was self-evident that her current condition must have been worse than it had been.

“First of all, it is better to take pain reliever along with the drug that helps blood circulation.”

 Lockman replied, bowing his head.

Her condition was somewhat subtle for a common heart disease, but for now it was for the best.

“After taking the prescribed medicine, we will monitor the progress.  Then, I'll get going now."

As Fernan nodded his head, Lockman bowed deeply, then turned around.

Click, the door closed and only the two of them were left in the bedroom. Fernan opened his mouth in an unsuitably cautious voice.

 “Julia, if you feel any pain, tell me immediately.”

 “…”

 “Are there any other uncomfortable places? The heat….."

As he reached out and touched her forehead, Julia quickly turned her head to avoid his touch.

 Her cold, dry eyes completely turned away from him.

 Fernan lower his outstretched hand and looked at her quietly.

 "Rest. I'll sent your maid."

Fernan stared at her, who never looked at him for a moment, then turned away.

Perhaps he thought that putting Melissa by her side would make her more stable.

However, Julia has not yet finished her understanding of this situation. It was the same with Melissa.

Soon after, a cold voice fell from her.

"Even if you keep me, I won't get anything from you.”

 Fernan, who stood tall, turned his head again.

 Julia looked at him for the first time with her sullen face.

 “Whatever you want, I have nothing more to offer.”

Fernan caught her in his eyes. An expression that didn't want to stay with him for a moment. She looked like she was embarrassed to even face him.

Julia, who looked at him like that, approached her like a dagger, but Fernan was just silently muttering.

 “I know, something like that.”

His eyes dimmed like darkness.  He knew that no word could change her mind.

 For Julia, he would be an object of disgust just to face him.

Julia looked straight at the man standing in front of her with her eyes narrowed.

All kinds of desperate emotions were on his face, which was always handsome.

Just as she was suddenly puzzled by the sight, she heard a still voice from him that killed all his emotions.

 “As much as I hurt you, you can give it all back.”

 “…  ”

 “Even if it hurts worse than that, I will gladly accept it.”

While Julia looked at him with an expression that was difficult to understand, the low voice continued.

 “…but stay by my side. Do not leave."

As always, a one-sided coercion. But the voice sounded like a beg.

 Julia held the bedsheet tightly and lowered her head.

Begging or coercion, in the end this man was going to lock her up again.

He means that he will lock her in his cage and let him enjoy everything only in it.  As before.

 “You haven’t changed a bit.”

 “…  ”

 “Really, not even a little…”

There was hatred towards him in her scornful voice. Julia lowered her gaze.

Even if she had no choice but to be imprisoned like this, she would never behave the way he wanted.

 Not a single glance, not a single heart, not a single word.

 Julia swallowed her heavy breath and bit her lip.

Fernan was willing to see her even that way. He wanted to accept all her hate, resentment, and anger.

 ***

 15 days has passed like that.

Meanwhile, Julia didn't even have the energy to run away, so she had to stay in her bedroom all day.

 She wasn't feeling well. As the days passed, she lost her strength.

What's more, she found out later that this place was lying on the side of a mountain.

It meant that trying to run away from the frozen mountains in winter was tantamount to suicide.

She was lost in thought for a while, and after a while she heard a knock on the door.

Julia neither looked back nor approached and opened the door. It was because she knew who it was without checking.

 Suddenly, the door opened and someone stepped inside.

 "Julia.”

 A familiar voice could be heard, but Julia did not turn her head.

 She then heard the sound of him laying down the tray on the table.

 “You can't take medicine on an empty stomach."

When she didn't answer, the sound of footsteps got closer behind her.

 "Julia."

 Julia reflexively pushed him away as he gently touched her shoulder.

 Then she slowly turned her head. Fernan, standing close to her, was quietly looking down at her.

 "I'm not going to eat it."

 "Eat."

 It was a firm, but not coercive voice. Julia looked at him while biting her lower lip.

Whatever it was, she didn't want to do what he asked.

Fernando look over her skinny body silently. A thinner body than a week ago. He could only see Julia standing in his eyes.

Fernan, whose expression hardened, opened his mouth.

"Hold your anger only on me. Don't abuse yourself in this way…"

Julia flinched. He was right. This was an act of gnawing at herself.

However, she couldn't break her weak pride. If she did even the smallest thing as he wanted, it would make her feel like she complied to this situation.

Looking at her clenching her hand tightly, Fernan whispered to her softly.

 "I'll send your maid, so eat."

 “…  ”

 "If you want, I won't show up for a while."

Then he stared at her as if he was carving her in his eyes for a moment, then turned around.

Julia turned back without even looking at him as he was moving away.

Through the window, she could see the sky with the sun rising. But her heart was dim without a single ray of light.