I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

The next day, Julia asked Melissa to run an errand.  She was going to send her letter once again.

 This time, it was not a letter to the Holy Land, but to the Temple of Ilion, where Matheus was located.

 It was also a response to firmly grasp her shaking heart.

 Julia knew that she was being swayed by Fernan. Seeing Fernan's changed appearance, without realizing it, she was getting used to it.

 So now she was really going to make a plan to get out of here.

 Before the will to escape would completely disappear.

 Originally, she was going to try to escape by herself somehow by using her remaining power.

 However, she instinctively felt that her body would not be able to withstand it if she used more of her power.

 Julia had no intention of harming herself any longer.

 Because she wanted to live happily for a long time.

 But it wouldn’t be with Fernan.

 Julia leaned against the window sill and looked at the now familiar scenery.

 Fernan was different from before. It was also true that his warmth shook her heart easily.

 But it was only a fleeting warmth.

 She couldn’t rely on such things and set foot into the hellish past again.

 In order to erase the face that had filled up in her mind, Julia stared at the distant plain again.

 That evening, Melissa, who had sent the letter, arrived at the villa.

Melissa told her that she sent the letter safely to the temple.

 “Thank you, Melissa.”

 “Oh, no.  If there is anything else you want me to do, please tell me.”

 Melissa, who replied in a good manner, avoided her gaze for some reason. She looked a bit worried.

 “What happened?”

 When Julia tilted her head and asked, Melissa, startled, hurriedly shook her head.

 “Oh, nothing is wrong.  Don’t worry."

 “You don’t look good.…  ”

 Melissa tried to raise her lips as if she was okay.

 However, seeing Julia worrying about her, her face seemed to have become more and more uncomfortable.

 In fact, when she went to send the letter this time, Melissa had come to ask the postman again about what happened to the Holy Land.

 And of course, the reply came that the place was still in full swing with the demons.

 ‘Grand Duchess is probably trying to go back there…’

Melissa was belatedly worried that something would happen to Julia if she left without knowing the truth.  Besides, she felt as if she was fooling Julia, so she didn’t feel comfortable all this time.

 “Your Grace….  Actually, I have something to tell you.”

 Melissa also felt that she could not continue to deceive Julia on her own will. Julia had a right to know, good or bad.

  “…  Last time, I actually couldn’t send the letter to the Holy Land.”

 Julia's eyes widened at Melissa’s confession.

 “…Why?"

 Melissa bit her lip while looking at Julia who asked her blankly and continued her words.

 “Actually, Your Grace…In the Holy Land…  I heard there’s a war.”

 Julia's face, who had been dazed as if she could not understand the situation, gradually turned pale.

 “What does that mean ‘war’?”

 “I heard from the postman that there’s a war that started last winter. The demons have invaded….”

 Melissa, who answered carefully, looked at her complexion, and Julia stiffened for a moment, as if she had received a lot of shock.

 “Last winter…  …  ”

 Julia, who muttered in a daze, touched her lips. If it was last winter, it intertwined with the time she came here.  At this moment, the things that were on her mind in the past began to come to mind one by one.

 Her memory of the process that led her here in the first place has completely disappeared.

 Even Fernan's words, which he said she could go anywhere but the Holy Land.

 Julia, who had not spoken for a long time while holding her lips, twitched her brows.

 She might remember something more, but she couldn't keep up with her thoughts as her head was pounding.

 “Your Grace, are you okay?”

 Seeing her pale face, Melissa clasped Julia’s arms.

 However, Julia did not answer, she only looked into the air blankly.

 At this moment, Julia could only be sure of one thing. The reason she came here must have something to do with the war.

 After removing her hand from her lips, Julia moved her feet.  The place she headed was Fernan’s office.

 Her mind was jumbled all the way down the stairs.

‘Why on earth did he hide from me the fact that the Holy Land was at war? And how did I lose my memory?’

  Julia knocked on the office door with her trembling hand.  But no words came from the inside.

 Turning away, Julia wandered around the villa looking for Fernan.

Then at the end, she headed to his bedroom.

 With her face turned white, Julia, who was in front of Fernan’s door, raised her hand.

 The moment she was about to knock, the door suddenly opened from inside.

 And Fernan appeared through the wide open door.

 “… Julia?”

 He looked at her Julia with a slightly surprised face. He never thought she would be standing in front of him like this.

 His hair was damp, perhaps he just had a bath. 

 Julia hesitated for a moment, then parted her lips.

 “Your Highness, I came to ask you something.”

 "…What do you want to ask?"

 Fernan, who was muttering in the distance, moved aside belatedly.

 At his gaze as if to ask her to come inside, Julia slowly took a step forward.

Click, as the door closed, a familiar scent permeated.  It was the smell of winter.

 The cool, cold scent that she always felt when she was next to Fernan…

 Inconsistent with the situation, the scent calmed her head.

 While Julia hesitated, Fernan pulled her a chair.

 Julia, who sat down, immediately opened her mouth.

 “Why… haven’t you told me anything?”

 Fernan, who sat across from her, stared at her silently.  As if to gauge what she was saying, there was a slight twitch in his golden eyes.

 Julia spoke in a confused voice.

 “I heard that the Holy Land is at war.”

 “…  ”

 “Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

 At that moment, Fernan's gaze began to waver slightly.  After that, he asked quietly, who had not said anything for a long time.

 “Did your memories come back?”

 “…no."

 Julia still had no memory of it.  Because every time she vaguely thought of something, her head felt like it was going to crack.

 “However, I can predict that the memories I forgot were war-related.”

 “… ”

 “So, please tell me what happened.”

 Fernan averted his gaze slightly as if struggling with Julia staring straight at him.

 In the meantime, he didn't explain anything to Julia because he did not want to forcibly revive her memory.

 His luscious lips closed, then slowly opened.

 “I hope you don’t remember anything.”

 “… why?"

 Fernan often recalled the sight of Julia crying with her ears covered. She also screamed and trembled all night long.

 He didn't want to reveal the traumatic memories.

 He didn't know which truth would be more painful for her, but he thought it would be better to let Julia think that she was forced by him to come here.

 Now that he was not letting her go anywhere like this, it wasn’t really false to let her think like that. 

 Looking at the silent Fernan, Julia immediately opened her lips and asked another question.

 “What about the others?  The people in the monastery …  ”

 Her heart, which had been trying so hard to calm down, began to pound again.

Looking at Julia biting her lip anxiously, Fernan gave her an answer belatedly.

 “Not everything is safe.”

 Julia’s eyes shook.

 “…  You mean they’re dead?"

 Fernan nodded her head slightly at the question.

 Julia clenched her hands and bit her lips.

 The people who had been living with her for a year peacefully but she was completely clueless all this time.

 While enjoying the things that Fernan gave her here, as if it was unavoidable.

 Looking at Julia, unable to say anything due to shock, Fernan spoke up.

 “At least all the children and the lady are safe.”

 A light gradually began to permeate her eyes, which were wet by the news.

“Are you serious?”

 Fernan looked at her wet eyelashes. As soon as a teardrop fell, he couldn’t hold back and reached out.

 "… don’t cry."

 His hard fingers gently wiped the corners of her eyes.  At some point, it became difficult for him to see Julia cry. Perhaps it was because he remembered the woman who cried because of him a long time ago.

  "…I'll let you meet them."

 So innocent words came out without him knowing.  The truth was he actually didn't want Julia to meet them.

 He was afraid that Julia would meet them and leave him again, but now he was more afraid of her crying than that.