I will not die!

After Yakumo left, my daily life finally received a wave of updates, but the main theme remained the same, only some details changed, mainly in terms of eating. In the past, there was someone chatting beside me when I was eating, but now there is no more , I'm the only one left.

So, that's it.

When the New Year was about to come, the boss started to summarize the year again and draw cakes for the next year. It was so troublesome every time, and it was clear that no one wanted to listen to his nonsense. Instead of being on stage himself If you talk nonsense, you might as well let us go to the next morning shift.

Even though I knew when I joined the company that everything my boss said was just a lie, and I was mentally prepared for it, I still couldn't help but feel ashamed of him. Why could he lie so openly? It’s not like I don’t know the true situation of the company, and I’m willing to continue working in the company. What’s the point of making these big claims?

The new year has passed again, and this time, I still didn’t go back to celebrate the New Year. The reason is that the company's products have activities to do during the New Year, and everyone has to work overtime. Although this is indeed true, what I didn't say is that overtime only lasts until the day before the New Year.

After a few more months, I felt that I had almost perfected the game, and then I released it and sold it for ten yuan. In the first week after its release, I didn’t even look at the game’s sales. When I finally got up the courage to look at it a week later, the zero sales completely shattered all my expectations.

It is natural that such a result would occur. After all, my promotional videos on various video websites only had a few dozen views, and the completion rate was zero.

Yakumo once suggested that I cooperate with the company, but I know that it is impossible for the company to allocate resources for such a small game, and I will only be laughed at in vain. Even if I have to find someone else to cooperate with me in publicity, I can’t afford the money. This game, which I spent nearly a year and a half on, was quietly submerged in countless newly released games without any splash.

During the development of this game, I thought about being lazy and giving up, but in the end I persisted. But when I think about it carefully, I don't think it's a big deal. One and a half years is not a long time or a short time. It doesn't seem to be that difficult at all. After all, I am using my time off work. It’s just a hobby, no different from it. Not that great.

And the most important thing is that I have a job and money to support myself. It doesn’t mean that I can’t survive if this game fails. Even if I don’t make the game myself, my life will not change much. Nothing special.

So, what has this year and a half brought to me. A hobby that died suddenly upon release without bringing me any income? So am I enjoying happiness in this hobby? of course not. Can that still be called a hobby? No way. How about treating it as a learning experience? I learned a lot during this game production, so I can’t say it was in vain. I did learn some things, but they are almost useless in my current job. I make stand-alone games, and the company makes online games. Now the difference in production between the two is so big that they can be divided into majors, and , as far as the things I learned, basically just changing to a more powerful AI is enough, and those things themselves are not difficult to learn.

So that's it? My year and a half has produced no value and is just a waste of time?

No, there is value, and wasting time is value in itself. Because I am busy playing games, I always use the excuse of being busy to put down all kinds of annoying activities. Because I am very busy, my relationship with most people remains in a state of acquaintance but unfamiliarity. For me, the most Good condition. Yes, this is value.

A month after the death of the first game, I started thinking about the second game again. In this month, due to Oune and Yakumo being sensible one after another, my work suddenly increased a lot, but fortunately, the company hired new people, and with their joining, my work finally became a lot lighter. That's why I came up with the idea of ​​making a game.

This time, I want to make a parkour game. The protagonist is an athlete with disabled legs. One day, his legs were parasitized by a demon and he regained the ability to run. However, the demon told him that as long as he started running, he could not stop, and he would die if he stopped. In fact, as soon as the protagonist starts running, the cracks of hell will open along his footsteps, and at the same time, the demons of hell will appear and devour the real world, but the protagonist does not know this, and he cannot see the scenery behind him after running. , he just enjoys the pleasure of running and wants to keep running

……

Just when everyone was busy preparing for the game's second anniversary event, our company's main project encountered a competing product, and it was a competing product developed by a large company. Our company's first project is called Red 2D, which is a fun and relaxing multiplayer melee game. The background is a fictional country called Silk Stockings. This country originally had a very strong two-dimensional atmosphere, but was later suppressed due to various reasons. Until recently, the two-dimensional atmosphere has almost disappeared. Therefore, the protagonists, a man and a woman, two young people, cannot bear this kind of situation. Due to the situation, he decided to go to a place in the west called Long Johns Country. The two-dimensional culture there had also suffered very severe suppression, even to a degree far greater than that of the current Silk Stockings Country. But now, it is currently recognized as the second-dimensional country in the world. Holy place. However, when the protagonists got there, they found that the reality was not as beautiful as they imagined, because the second-dimensional atmosphere here was too strong, and it was a bit perverted for people like them who had not been exposed to the second dimension for a long time.. The goal of the game is for the protagonist to gain a group of friends here, and then bring the real soul of the second dimension back to the Silk Stocking Country, so that the Silk Stocking Country can rekindle the soul of the second dimension.

The gameplay of the game is COSPLAY. By looking for specific props in the venue, such as blue short hair, bolas, and maid outfits, you can successfully cosplay a character and obtain corresponding abilities and bonuses. Of course, some props themselves are unique. It has strong performance. Even if COS fails, it can still be very powerful just with a bunch of parts. In addition, corresponding COS characters of different genders will also have corresponding ability bonuses.

In short, this is a game that can easily cause copyright disputes, but fortunately, we are also entrusted by the copyright owner, so we don’t need to worry about the corresponding problems, but we have to divide a lot of the money we earn, which has also caused our company to always We were in a situation where we could neither starve to death nor get rich. It only eased after our group's project was successful.

But now, a big company has released a game with a similar gameplay, and it is even better than us in terms of character linkage and number of maps. Yes, it is a new project that has just been released, and it is better than an old project of ours for many years. The most important thing is, Their publicity is far better than ours, and now it can be clearly predicted that once their game is officially launched, many of our users will definitely be robbed. The project of my group was originally a derivative of the head project. Once the head project suffered a setback, our group would also suffer. It was hard to say whether the company could survive by then.

"XX! AR and VR have all been divided by them, and now even monitor games are coming to compete with us. They are so shameless!"At the meeting, the boss strongly condemned the behavior of the big company, and kept blaming us in disguise for being freeloaders. The game has not improved at all over the years.

I have some other views on this. Our games are indeed nothing over the years. Improvement, but in the final analysis, isn’t this all the fault of no one who has no money? Our games do not make much money, but that is only compared to big companies, so where does all the money go? Doesn’t it all go to you? Are you pocketing money? You obviously ate up all the money you earned, but in the end you blame us for not working hard to make money and not improving the quality of the game.

It’s really stupid.

Monitor games have always had a very stable number of players, but because of It is too stable and has not been able to develop. It can be said that if there are people on this road who are full, there must be people who are hungry. But what can be done? People have spare energy, spare money, and resources, so there is no reason to let them go for nothing. If you don’t pick up the money, besides, if users can be robbed so easily, doesn’t it only mean that the quality of our own games is not good enough? There is nothing we can do if we are robbed. After all, games are inherently interesting and everything.

Having said that, , but what if there is really a problem with the company's management and I change it? If I find a new job, will others want it? After all, my work ability is really average, and I don't have any outstanding achievements. Plus, I My salary is going to be raised soon. Will the salary in the new job be as high as mine? If the place is far away, I will have to move, which will be very troublesome. The more I think about it, the more annoying I am. But at this juncture, my mother called me again. He called me and asked me if I would go back this year, and I replied that I didn’t know.

What was different from the past was that my mother did not stop on this topic this time, but continued to quarrel about whether I would go back. She said it was a quarrel, but in fact she was the only one who didn’t. I just kept talking loudly on the other end of the phone. I didn’t say a few words the whole time, and even my tone didn’t change.

"Are you dissatisfied with me, that's why you don't want to come back?" silence

"If you have any dissatisfaction with me, you can just say it like this."

Still silent

"I raised you from childhood to adulthood, fed you, clothed you, left everything good to you, and thought of you everywhere. For you, your father and I worked so hard day by day, and we worked hard to raise you. , how much am I sorry for you (choking)"

"Tell me, how sorry am I for you (sobbing)."

Under the silent silence, only short sobs kept passing back and forth between our mobile phones.

Then, my mother began to talk about our past, her own hardships, and her great maternal love, vividly , vivid and vivid, as if all the fights were just what happened yesterday. Whenever she started to talk like this in the past, it was often accompanied by beatings and scoldings, but this time it was obviously not possible. The mother's narration was vivid and rhythmic, but such I have heard her story countless times, and even if she told it a few more times, I don’t think I would have the emotions she wanted. I listened to the phone call in silence for more than half an hour, and I didn’t say a word the whole time. Maybe she was tired of talking, or maybe she was completely disappointed with me. My mother finally said in a sobbing voice:"I don't know how to take care of you anymore, and I can't take care of you anymore. You can do whatever you want.""After that, she hung up the phone, and I threw the phone aside like trash.

I don't want to be hated by others.

But I don't know how to be liked, and I have never liked others.

I just I walked all the way like this, alone.

What dissatisfaction do I have with my mother? To be honest, I have no dissatisfaction. She is just a very ordinary mother, just like thousands of mothers in this world, doing the same things as them She said the same things as them. The only difference is that the burden on her body may be heavier and her tolerance for suffering may be weaker, but in the end, she is still just an ordinary mother. How can I be dissatisfied with such an ordinary mother?

The real exception is actually me, and it has always been me.

If their son was not me, but the ordinary sons of thousands of ordinary mothers, their current Life must be very happy.

But this is not something I can decide, nor is it something they can decide. This is their misfortune, not mine. Because I have a pair of very ordinary parents, I can become a person who is not too bad. If it weren’t for them, I would definitely be different now, maybe better, maybe worse, but I don’t hate myself now, so it must not be bad for me now. In this regard, I was very grateful, but just couldn't respond.

A few days later, the big company's competing product was finally officially launched. In the first month, our average number of online users dropped by 20%, and our sales dropped by 20%. It dropped by nearly half. There is no doubt that this is a heavy blow. We had made considerable preparations before the game was announced, but when it was officially released, our preparations had no effect at all. The quality gap is It can be seen with the naked eye.

Moreover, they immediately announced a lot of updates in the future, and they also completely crushed us in terms of content output. The decline of our company is already a foreseeable reality.