I Won't Accept Your Regrets

“….Yes, Your Majesty.”

Helan closed the door and left the room with only Raymond and I.

He was looking at me with a stiff look on his face, not an ordinary indifferent face.

I could have guessed without hearing what he might have come here to talk about.

Is he someone who can’t hide his feelings in situations like this?

Maybe it’s because Lize came back. He keeps giving out strange faces that he had never shown to others before.

As I looked at the scene, I felt that my confused mind was now becoming calm.

“Sit down, Your Majesty.”

When I asked for a seat first, Raymond, who was staring at me without saying anything, sat on the sofa. Sitting across from him, I looked at him like a fool.

“I don’t think you feel like drinking tea. Right? Ray.”

With a light smile, Raymond’s beauty was narrowed slightly.

“Ray, if you want to say something, just say it. You didn’t need to just have a cup of tea with me.”

At the moment, his dark eyes that looked at me shook.  Soon with a calming look, he opened his lips.

“Yes, that’s right.  “

“As long as the child that Lizzena brought out has the symbol of the imperial family, we can’t let this situation go. “

“….”

I replaced the answer with silence. He looked at me in silence and said with a short sigh.

“I can’t go by like it never happened because it happened in a place with a lot of eyes, but I need to make sure that the child is a member royal family, so I’ll ask him to check before I can see if he’s part royal.”

If he were part of the royal family, what would you do next?

But I couldn’t get my question out.

“And we’ll share what happens again after we get the results. Right now, there’s so much to organize, so much to think about.”

He continued to speak, seemingly unwilling to hear my answer.

“And you must have been surprised by this, so if you want, you can stay as a duchy for a while. Or the Southern Imperial Palace, where you can relax for a while. Either way, Tell me.”

It seemed as if he was trying to be caring for me, but I wasn’t happy at all.

You should never accept the child, if you really cared about me.

He asked me to leave here for a moment and to ignore the conclusion he had reached for now.

Then I guess I have to make a conclusion about our relationship.

“It was you, not me, who liked the view of the southern palace. I was just happy because you liked it.”

His expression shook at the cold words.

I soon drew a smile as if nothing was wrong.

“I’m all right, let’s talk again when the results of the temple come out, Raymond.”

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It didn’t take long for the results to come out.

It was about three days after Raymond left Emperor’s Palace.

Helan, who came running with a quick look, reported the news.

“Your Majesty! In the temple, the child has issued a definitive statement stating that the blood of the imperial family is correct.”

The reality of not being able to turn away or put off any longer finally came.

It came out earlier than I thought.

Still, I expected it to take at least a week. I said to Helan, who couldn’t hide her nervous look.

“Okay, get out of here.”

“What?”

Helan looked at me unquestionably surprised.

Perhaps the news would have made me cry or hurt myself greatly.

You thought I’d run to the emperor’s palace right away and pray for him in angst.

But I didn’t intend to.

“You didn’t hear me, I said get out of here. I’m tired and I want to rest.”

“Your Majesty.”

“Helan, I’m going to throw up at you.”

As she spoke in a slightly cold voice, Helan quickly rewrote her expression and bowed her head in an orderly fashion.

“I’m sorry. Your Majesty.”

“No, I’m not feeling well today, so I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it to dinner.”

Honey, the child will receive all the attention of the Empire. Some aristocrats, who did not complain about having no descendants, should celebrate that Emperor’s successor has finally arrived.

It’s Raymond’s first child.

“First child….”

It was a word that made my mouth gritty.

First child, congratulations.

I wanted to give all that to you. I’m sorry, baby.

I stroked my Belly and spoke in a small whisper.

No matter how small a life may be, I haven’t done anything good for the child yet.

It was rather dangerous for me to reveal my pregnancy now.

Miscarriage itself is risky, but where you can do something cruel to a child who is not yet born in the world.

Two princes of different mothers. It would be natural for the imperial powers to be divided.

Although I am the empress, my family was never a force to ignore.

In addition, there were not a few aristocrats who became dissatisfied with the Duke of Croft in the process of helping the revolution. It was obvious without having to see where they would stand.

Can I protect you in that whirlpool?

The dispute over the throne always brought blood.

In terms of the power in the royal family, I, the empress and the daughter of the Duke of Kroft, will prevail.

But if the Emperor’s heart leans to my child…. You won’t be able to avoid catastrophe.

“Sigh ..”

With a deep sigh, I turned to view out of the window and saw the sunset burning red in the sky.

Normally, it would have been time for Raymond to arrive at the dinning hall to have dinner with me this evening.

Come to think of it… I’ve never broken my dinner time with him.
(Like Snapchat streaks? Damn the farthest I went was like 20 days…)

There were times when I was not feeling well, but I liked hiding the painful things because I liked to be with him at the end of the day.

“Ray, you never noticed that I was sick.”

Returning to the Empress Palace, she was about to fall, but Raymond knew nothing.

“He probably won’t think of anything today…”

If he gets the message that I’m not going to dinner, He’ll just get it, and it’ll end in a word.

He doesn’t worry about what’s going on with me.

I could imagine what it would be like to not see him because of his familiar indifference.

Pfft, a self-made smile flowed out.

Now and whom can I blame?

It’s my fault that I knew his carelessness but didn’t know what to do because I was happy to be next to him.

The red light dazzled my eyes, and I felt tired. Maybe it’s because I paid too much attention to the dying sun.

I laid down my tired body in bed, determined to take a rest today.

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A dining hall  in the Sun Palace where the emperor lives.
(The Sun Palace is also known as the Imperial or Emperors Palace)

Raymond, who had been a hurry since arrived, narrowed his eyes as soon as he stepped into the room.

Because no one was sitting at the table.

He looked around the room and did not see Ellie.

“Isn’t the Empress coming yet?”

Raymond, who was looking at the empty seat of the empress, looked out the window.

The red sky was getting dark.

She can’t be this late.

Then one of the servants hurriedly went on his knee and said,

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty. I forgot to tell you my words that Her Majesty is not coming to dinner today. Please punish me.”

The servant hung his head on the floor and prayed for forgiveness. He dare to embarrass the emperor in vain, so there will be nothing to say even if he was beaten.

Raymond sighed as if he was having difficulty hearing.

It was clear that the servant made a stupid mistake, but today the palace was noisy because of the temple.

He didn’t want to see any other fuss because it was a tiring day.

“Okay, everyone is going back.”

While the servants were shaking with Raymond’s cold voice, The Servers approached him with what he had done.

“Your Majesty, would you like to have dinner here?”

The waiter glanced around the large space and waited for Raymond’s answer.

“Yeah.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

The assistant manager glanced at the servants.

As the emperor sat down, the servants quickly set up food on the table.

“Then now we’ll go back.”

The assistant manager said and left the dinner room with the servers.

Raymond, who was accustomed to lifting the fork from the place where the silence was lowered, looked at the Empress’ seat on the opposite side.

An empty seat was unfamiliar to him.

Is she not feeling well?

Suddenly, he realized that he didn’t ask the servant why the Empress hadn’t come to dinner.

Raymond, who was still looking there, began eating.

But he just ate a spoonful of soup, and he made an impression and gave it up.

Does he just have no appetite? It was definitely his favorite bean soup, but he couldn’t taste anything today.
(Lmao so clichè, It only tastes good when he’s around the Empress)

“Is it because I care too much?”
(No, you don’t care enough…)

Raymond leaned his back against the chair and covered his eyes against the bright lights.

<‘What happened today, Ray?’>

Ellie’s chattering voice, which had always been heard with his eyes closed, sounded like tinnitus in silence.
(Tinnitus is a condition where your ears staring ringing, referring that her voice kept ringing in his ears.)

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Raymond flinched and lowered his hand, which he had covered his eyes with.1

“….Ellie.”

He was bothered.

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End of Chapter 006