I, Zhuge Dali's Salted Fish Brother

"The man tried to commit suicide by putting gas in the car, but suddenly regretted it. He was about to smoke a cigarette to calm down, but unexpectedly, the gas ignited and exploded, and he died on the spot."

Ji Yu didn't smile when he heard this.

Instead, he said earnestly: "This story tells us that smoking is harmful to health."

"Pfft hahahahahaha."

"It's true, but why do I feel so funny?"

"This dude is too miserable!"

"What kind of sand sculpture news is this? I'm dying of laughter hahaha."

Seeing so much feedback, Zeng Xiaoxian was very excited, and continued: "Because the old old campus is going to be demolished, a graduate of the blasting major won the project through bidding, and the alma mater was bombed openly."

Ji Yu heard the words and said solemnly: "It's true, at the scene, I am a dynamite bag."

Zeng Xiao Xian:"???"

audience:"???"

"The explosive pack is okay!"

"Brother Ji Yu is so skinny, hahaha."

"I prove, it's true, on the spot, I'm my alma mater."

"Hahaha, I'm here too, I'm that graduate."

Amidst everyone's laughter, Zeng Xiaoxian raised his eyebrows and continued: "During the Chinese New Year, a thief picked an auspicious house number to steal, and when he opened the door, he found four policemen playing mahjong sitting in the house."

Ji Yu heard the words and said, "Don't move! The four of you are surrounded by me!"

"Hahahaha, it's okay to surround four with one!"

"Show, Tianxiu."

"I don't know how this strong man is doing now. Is the meal in the prison delicious?"

……

Under Ji Yu's complaints, the audience became more active one by one, and left messages frantically in the applet.

Many people are even gearing up for the next link of voice connection.

The little brother with a nice and funny voice, I love it!

After a few minutes.

After the sharing of anecdotes and anecdotes, Zeng Xiaoxian played a song and said, "Next, let's enjoy a beautiful piece of music, and then enter the audience call."

When the words fell, he turned off Mai and opened a bottle of water for Ji Yu.

Ji Yu took the water and took a few sips, then took the time to give Dali a kiss and hug and a high expression.

Vigorously responded with a shy second.

Zeng Xiaoxian, who accidentally saw the chat record: "???"

These two are not together, and they can even feed him dog food!

He served!

Zeng Xiaoxian swallowed the dog food silently, took out his mobile phone and sent Yi Fei a kiss and hug.

Yi Fei replied in seconds: "Fly a kick.jpg."

Yifei: "I still play with my phone during work hours, work hard!"

Yifei: "Small fist punches your chest Thor version.jpg."

Zeng Xiao Xian:"????"

It's also a girlfriend, why is the difference in style so big?

Zeng Xiaoxian wanted to cry without tears and put down his mobile phone and continued the live broadcast.

"Welcome back~~ Next, let's answer the call from the first listener of the day."

After Zeng Xiaoxian finished speaking, Judy immediately answered a call.

"Hello, what's your name?" Zeng Xiaoxian asked.

"My surname is Li, you can just call me Xiao Lizi." The other party said.

Ji Yu heard the words and asked curiously, "Is that the little plum from "The God Chef Xiao Fugui"?"

other side:"???"

Well, that's not a eunuch! ! !

Listeners who think they look like Leonardo feel a little sick.

Zeng Xiaoxian was amused by Ji Yu's words, he smirked and said, "Little Lizi, what troubles do you have? Tell me...cough, let us hear."

Little Lizi: "???"

Who will call him Xiao Lizi in the future? Who will he worry about!

After calming down, Xiao Lizi said, "I'm a college student, and I'm going to join a club. How can I introduce myself so that I can be graceful and yet pretend to be so that everyone can remember me?"

"This..." Zeng Xiaoxian felt a little difficult.

He thought for a while, but he didn't think of a good self-introduction, and looked decisively at Ji Yu, wanting to see if Ji Yu had any ideas.

Seeing this, Ji Yu said, "You can say that.

Hello everyone, my name is Xiao Lizi, my biggest feature is my eyes, you can see three points of coolness, three points of ridicule and four points of indifference.

By the way, I'll also give snarky farts. "

Little Lizi: "??????".

Chapter 305

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

"Three points of coolness, three points of ridicule, four points of indifference, he has a statistical chart in his eyes hahaha."

"As we all know, statistical charts are elegant and compelling, so there's nothing wrong with this introduction!"

"The vitriolic fart is killing me hahaha."

Because of Ji Yu's irritating introduction, the messages in the applet skyrocketed.

Even everyone in the love apartment couldn't help but comment.

皮！

Ji Yu is the real skin!

When Zeng Xiaoxian heard Ji Yu's words, he recited "Professionalism of the Host~" several times in his mind before he could hold back his laughter.

He coughed lightly and said, "Little plum, I think this self-introduction is good, very characteristic, you will be remembered!"

Little Lizi: "???"

If he introduced himself like this.

I'm afraid not only will be remembered, but will also be posted on the school forum, attracting countless people - onlookers!

Xiao Lizi didn't want to be regarded as a strange person, and said quickly: "I think the bitter and mean fart is a bit vulgar, can you help me think of another self-introduction?

It is best to cite the classics, so that everyone thinks that I am a cultural person. "

"Hey! This guy is asking a lot." Zi Qiao said.

"I don't know if Ji Yu has anything else." Mika looked expectant.

"Definitely!" Guan Gu looked confident.

Dali also felt that Ji Yu could say something else, that is, the audience asked to quote from the scriptures, so he probably couldn't be fooled.

Li Zi also thought so.

皮！

Let you skin!

Now let's see how skinny you are!

When Ji Yu heard Xiao Lizi's words, his expression was calm, and he said, "You can still say that.

Hello everyone, I'm Xiao Lizi, I won the first prize in the provincial composition competition, and my name is "I reported my father of the district head". "

Little Lizi: "????"

vigorously:"???"

The audience was stunned for a second, then burst into laughter.

"I reported my district chief father, he is a ruthless man!"

"I just checked, and there is really this composition on the Internet, and it's really the first prize at the provincial level!"

"Although this composition is modern, it's a classic! There's nothing wrong with citing classics!"

"It's definitely a literate person who can do this, and there are provincial awards and blessings. It's elegant and yet pretentious. It's better than the last one!"

"Ji Yu is really talented, I'm dying of laughter hahahahaha."

Messages skyrocketed again, and some people even said that they wanted to bring friends to listen together.

Zeng Xiaoxian was overjoyed when he saw these messages.

I always think this show is going to be on fire!

Zeng Xiaoxian was happy, but Xiao Lizi felt like a dog.

Although Ji Yu's self-introduction met his requirements, normal people wouldn't say that at all!

If he used this introduction, he would not only be weird, but even a little mentally retarded!

No, it is quite mentally retarded!