I'd Give Up The World For You

"I've never seen the ocean in person. It must be really pretty," Daisy commented. 

A sad smile twisted Leo's face. "It is. I wish I could show it to you." 

That was a strange thing to want to do. Why would he want to show her the ocean? Was it natural for people to want to share what they loved with the people they liked? She had never had that urge. 

Daisy didn't know what to say to that. Wherever he had lived before was probably pretty far from here and she had never been on a real vacation for herself because she couldn't afford it. Why would she go with someone she wasn't all that close to?

Leo was talking like they were in a relationship when they were more like a very twisted version of friends. There was no reason for her to go where he had grown up. 

Whatever they had right now had an expiration date even if she didn't know what it was at the moment. Making future plans with other people was something she had given up on doing a long, long time ago. 

She lived in the moment. If she enjoyed herself with another person for a little while so be it but she could never come to count on them or make plans more than a few weeks out. That only ever led to disappointment and she couldn't take any more of that. 

"You could always go on a trip to a beach," Daisy said lightly. 

Leo sighed. "It wouldn't be the same."

How would that not be the same? Was there a very specific beach he had in mind that was in another country or something? She supposed that would be harder to get to than a generic beach in the United States. 

He had been a military brat. They could end up anywhere because of their parents. But he also said it was where he originally lived…had he lived on a base on an island somewhere for a long time or what? He really didn't give very many details about this sort of thing. 

Unsure how to reply to that, Daisy didn't. She resumed digging around in her yarn basket and pulled out a ball of turquoise yarn triumphantly. 

"Well, would you look at that! I have both colors. Do you want me to do stripes?"

Leo shot her a halfhearted smile. "Sure. Thanks, Daisy."

And just like that he was back to brooding again. What was she supposed to do about him? She didn't know how to deal with this! She wasn't good with people!

She silently started another podcast and resumed her knitting. He looked so forlorn sitting there with his head leaned against the back of the couch again that she was tempted to hug him. She truly was losing her mind. 

Eventually the bread and jam were done and that seemed to perk him up a little. He spread some apple preserves, which were apparently his favorite, on a thick slice of warm bread and after taking a bite tears began leaking out of his eyes. Was it that bad?!

"It tastes exactly the same," Leo whispered in disbelief. A moment later he set the plate down, stood, and wrapped her in a bear hug. "Thank you! Thank you so much!" 

Daisy had no idea what was going on here. She didn't know what to do with her hands at first either since her arms were pinned to her sides. She ended up bending her elbows and patting his back awkwardly. 

She didn't know why this was such a big deal to him but there was clearly a deeper meaning here than some bread and jam. All she could really do in a situation like this was say "you're welcome" and leave it at that. 

Leo hugged her for a rather long time before pulling away and swiping at his eyes. He turned back toward the bread with a wide smile on his face as tears continued to pour. 

He ate three slices all with different types of jam or preserves on them. She only had room in her stomach for one with strawberry jam. It was delicious! She wasn't sure she could ever go back to the store-bought kind after this. No wonder he had been so excited. 

Was that really something worth crying over though? She really didn't get this guy but she was starting to think he was even more broken than she was. And that was seriously saying something. 

Daisy felt sorry for him. Feeling sorry for someone wasn't sufficient reason to keep hanging out though. 

The safe thing to do would be to cut him off before things got more complicated. Two broken halves do not equal a whole. She didn't need to deal with someone else's crap on top of her own and neither did he. 

Would Leo be okay without her though? All he had asked for was to spend time with her. He had seemed pretty desperate and he would go as far as calling in sick for three days to care for her in order to do that. That wasn't something normal people did. 

Since when had Daisy cared about another person's feelings in more than the most superficial of ways? She wished she knew what was going on with him and that surprised her. That wasn't the sort of thing she generally concerned herself with. Without her consent, he had gotten under her skin. 

"I'm sorry," Leo said with a watery laugh as he continued trying to stem the flow of his tears after finishing his bread. He had been crying the entire time. "I really don't mean to be crying like this."

"Why ARE you crying?" she couldn't help but ask. 

"You would never believe me if I told you."

What a cryptic statement. Annoying! She pouted and turned away. If that was how he was going to be she couldn't stop him. "Alright then."

"But I can tell you that doing this today meant a lot to me. Thank you again," Leo told her with sincerity and apology running through his voice. "I needed this more than I can say."

Needed what? What was so important about making bread and jam? Why did he have to be so complicated? This was why she didn't get involved with people! All they ever did was drag each other down. 

Daisy peeked over her shoulder at him and her heart stopped when she saw how tenderly he was gazing at her. It was an oddly heartbroken expression and her earlier urge to hug him returned full force. This time she couldn't ignore it. He was too pitiful!

She wrapped her arms around him and he shuddered a moment before flopping fully onto her shoulder and melting into her embrace. She felt his tears soak her shoulder and she rubbed his back feeling rather helpless. 

"Are you okay?" she asked nervously.

"I will be. Sorry."

"Don't apologize! Whatever's bothering you must be big and there's nothing wrong with crying. I just…don't know how to deal with other people's tears." 

She barely knew how to handle her own. She wasn't exactly what you would call in touch with her emotions. Dealing with someone else's was completely out of her element. She didn't know how to handle it. 

Leo sighed and straightened up. He wiped his eyes again before briefly caressing her face. 

"Don't worry about it. I appreciate your kindness."

Kindness? What kindness? Because she hugged him? She had thought that was the natural thing to do in a situation like this. It would have been heartless to leave him standing there like that so upset. 

"Do you need anything?" Daisy asked, eying him warily in case he started crying again.

Leo wouldn't look at her and fiddled with his hands. "I don't want to impose. You've already done a lot for me today."

"Leo. What do you need?"

"I…I get nightmares. When I'm by myself, I mean. I really don't have the energy to deal with them tonight and I'll be back in the morning anyway so can I please just stay here for tonight?"

Oh boy. No wonder he hadn't cared about staying with her so long when she was sick! He didn't want to be alone! It explained why he took naps at her place so often too. He wasn't getting enough sleep at night because of his nightmares. 

Daisy bit her lip. If she let him once he was going to want to again and she couldn't make that sort of commitment. But could she really turn a crying person away like that? She would feel too terrible. What he was asking for wasn't anything that hadn't already happened before but still…

Had he latched onto her solely because he needed a new bedwarmer in Cincinnati to help keep the nightmares at bay? Did his liking her have anything to do with her at all?

The thought made a pit form in her stomach.. Which was stupid because she didn't even like him. Why should that bother her? Hadn't they been using each other all this time anyway starting with her wanting a date on Valentine's Day?