I'd Give Up The World For You

Rukelion found himself alone with General Pace—one of the few men who was able to regularly meet with the king—and wished more than anything that he could light him up like a torch. That wouldn't end well for him so he refrained with great difficulty.

"You wanted to speak with me, sir?" he asked innocently.

The general answered his question with a question. "Why did you join the military, May? I've heard through the grapevine that you became a first-rank soldier the moment you enlisted and were put directly on the Silver Wolf Squad.

"That sort of thing hasn't happened around here for over a decade. Where did you receive your training? You must have trained before coming so don't try and lie to me about it being a natural talent."

"I would never claim such a thing," Rukelion said as if the thought of lying disgusted him. "I trained hard to get where I am with some mercenaries encamped near the farm I worked on. Whenever I wasn't doing my chores, I was training. I wasn't satisfied until I could beat all of them."

General Pace wrinkled his nose at the mention of mercenaries. "Why didn't you join them?"

"They did offer, sir, but they couldn't give me what I wanted so I joined the military."

"And what do you want exactly?"

"A stable, comfortable life for my fiancée. I send most of my pay home to help lighten her load but she still works very hard and I want better for her," Rukelion said half-truthfully. It was simply the less important half of the truth.

"I had heard about the military's benefits, specifically among the higher-ranked officers. I want to use my skills to give her a big house with servants and be able to buy her pretty things and a life of leisure."

"A lucky woman to have such a devoted lover," the general mused. "I'm guessing she works on the same farm you did?"

"Yes. She was a city girl who happened to end up in charge of a farm and mentioned missing amenities only found in the city. That planted the idea in my head of wanting better for her and meeting the mercenaries gave me my chance," Rukelion said. The first part was actually true.

Daisy had been a noble back in Ohio. She shouldn't be breaking her back forever, especially when she didn't have to. Once he was king she could have the best of both worlds: amenities such as toilets and access to the most magnificent garden in the country.

"I see. Love can be a powerful motivator. You are very good at what you do. You don't happen to know where that mercenary band that taught you went, do you?" General Pace asked.

"No, sir, but I wouldn't tell you even if I did. They left Cloverfield a long time ago."

The general actually laughed. "You're certainly a loyal one! That's an important quality in an officer. You breed loyalty in your underlings too. I do believe you'll go far here, May. I'm going to keep an eye on you."

"Thank you, sir," Rukelion said as if he was pleased even though he felt rather sick being praised by someone he wanted to kill with his bare hands.

"You're dismissed. Return to your post."

"Yes, sir."

The room had been horribly suffocating so as soon as he was outside the main building he went for a run to clear his head, his exhaustion forgotten in the wake of this new development. He might advance through the ranks more quickly than expected, especially if the king decided to wage war on someone else for no reason any time soon.

Rukelion wasn't sure he would be able to stomach it. With the Aveleenians it had been different since he had a personal score to settle with them. Could he truly do what had been done to his home country to others for the sake of his revenge?

He wasn't sure. His moral compass had already warped enough to enjoy killing people he had interacted with regularly for months but he tried to rationalize that it was different. Those officers hadn't been innocent.

All this time he had told himself he didn't mind being a monster but sinking to the level of the evil he loathed so much just to destroy it might be too much even for him. He needed to find a way to advance his plan without that happening!

After his run he hit the showers, still feeling sick to his stomach from earlier but now with an added headache from worrying too much. He was pathetic.

"Are you alright, Captain?" Conrad asked with a frown. "What did the general want?"

"He asked me why I joined the military and I told him. I'm actually not feeling very well so I think I'm going to go to bed. Can you handle the nightly roll call for me later? I doubt I'll be awake for it."

"Of course. I hope you feel better soon."

Rukelion hoped that too. He crawled onto his cot and pulled the quilt Daisy had sent him for his birthday over his head to block out the light. It had stopped smelling like her quite some time ago but it was still comforting.

She had put hours and hours of effort into this. It was a piece of her that he could carry with him whether he was here or on the road so it meant a lot to him.

He took deep breaths and tried to calm himself down with thoughts of her smile. He hadn't done anything truly horrible that would make her hate him yet. And even once he did…she promised she would have his back no matter what.

Daisy. Daisy. Daisy.

She was so beautiful and full of warmth and light even though she hadn't had an easy life either. Instead of her pain turning her to bitterness and hatred like it had for him it made her unfailingly kind.

Rukelion knew she was too good for him, whose heart had been warped by revenge before they even met and had only gotten worse over time. But he didn't care. She was the only thing in this forsaken world that brought him any happiness so he was going to hold tight and never let go once they were able to meet again.

He could really use the sunshine in her soul today after how horrible he felt, though he never wanted her to see those ugly sides of him. The quilt would have to do.

"I miss you, Daisy," he whispered miserably where no one could hear him.

He missed simpler days before he had to actually worry about enacting his plan when all he was doing was preparing for a future he wasn't even sure would come. When he could almost put the horror of his past behind him for a while because he was too busy laughing with her.

Rukelion had tried teaching her to juggle once but she was terrible at it and ended up bursting a bunch of tomatoes on the ground so she gave up. He wondered if she had picked tomatoes today. It was the right time of year for it.

Closing his eyes, he forced himself to think of nothing but Daisy and memories they had shared together so he could fall asleep and hopefully not have any nightmares. The nightmares came anyway.

He largely stumbled through the next week as things tried to get back to normal. He was back on the same schedule he had been before overall except now sometimes he had meetings with other captains and majors while his squad members trained. Major Armistead was now his direct superior officer.

The one bright spot was a letter that arrived for him two days after they got back to the capital. He held it to his chest after he finished reading it feeling very loved.

Most of it was the usual day-to-day stuff and it helped lift his spirits because Daisy's soul radiated through every word she wrote. But what really got to him was the last entry that had clearly been written after she got news that he was going back to the capital.

'Dear Leo,

'I'm not going to lie…I was so happy when I got your letter that I actually cried. Ira thought there was something wrong with me. I don't have words to express how glad I am you made it home safe, though obviously I wish I could see that for myself.

'I baked a blueberry lemon cake in your honor and it was delicious. I wish I could have sent you a slice! I do plan on sending you some blueberry preserves once I do my canning though if that's any consolation.

'I know you may not feel like celebrating—I'm sorry if the parade was hard for you to deal with—but I'm not celebrating that you won. I'm celebrating that you made it back so I can see you again. Because that is definitely something worth celebrating! Hope to hear from you soon.

'Love, Daisy'

Somehow she always managed to see through to the heart of the matter with minimal details. He had mentioned he wasn't looking forward to the parade and she guessed that it would be hard for him without knowing why.. Her words of consolation were exactly what he needed and helped revitalize him a bit.