If I Disobey the Duke

Far Away (4)

“…”

She wanted to give him something.

Unlike herself, what could she do for this man who had it all?

There was only one thing she could do.

She grabbed his cheeks and puckered her lips.

* * *

Vlad’s eyes widened.

He wouldn’t even be that surprised if Lily had suddenly put an awl in his neck.

A soft touch, like a warm, ripe fruit, pressed down on his lips. Her long eyelashes trembled beneath her eyelids. A sweet scent that made his head throb penetrated and filled his lungs.

As she bit his lip, he pushed her away suddenly.

His sudden, sharp breath tickled her lips. “Lily. What…?”

“Go ahead. We can’t do it for a long time… Because you will…” In the end, she could only bow her head in shame.

He was driven by such an irresistible impulse.

If we had conceived a child earlier, would he have stayed?

If, perhaps she had a child, she could make him stay.

“…You don’t have to try to fulfil your role that way.”

Lily’s head jumped up at the sound of his low voice.

There was a bitterness that could not be hidden in his dark eyes. Lily felt crushed

What do I do now… I mean, how do I always do something that pisses people off?

He lightly stroked Lily’s round head. “There aren’t many couples who are as faithful and obligated to be in a relationship as you think. So you don’t have to try to make sure that you are on par with me like that every time.”

It was a pretty bittersweet thing to say. It was him who gave her the pleasure she had never wanted in her life.

He thought he could tame her body first, but how could he have known that lust would come with a sense of guilt?

There was no way he could add any more suffering to this situation.

Lily closed her hands tightly as if someone had grabbed her heart. “B-but you need it. I’m fine, Vlad…”

Guilt hardened him. “What you don’t want, I don’t need either. It’s okay not to worry about that. Lily.”

“However… We must have a child…”

Vlad stopped breathing for a moment, head spinning.

Why didn’t I notice? But why would you want something like that?

It wasn’t just because of her reluctance to intercourse that she confided in Ivan at the table when she was drunk.

[Is there a way… to avoid a marital relationship?]

She was a woman who was kicked out twice after her previous husbands’ deaths.

Had she borne a child in either case, she wouldn’t have been driven out.

“I didn’t think of that. There is no reason for you to return to the Isles without children. I will come back alive anyway.”

Lily grabbed his arms desperately. “I don’t mean that. I…”

She hadn’t thought of that. Her husband was going on a trip and she was just worried about her own safety.

Her sadness surged, and she collapsed.

She now had too little time to say what she wanted. She just wanted to convey how sincerely she cared for him.

“Because you need it. It’s my duty. The duty that only I can do…”

Vlad stiffened—felt like an old tree whose remnants were only its roots. “I hope so, Lily.”

A gust of wind blew.

His jaw trembled. “Have you been doing this to give birth to a child? To receive my seed? In the meantime, all…”

Lily nodded slowly.

She couldn’t quite understand why he was shivering. She had never met a family who didn’t want to have offspring. The reason she was kicked out during her previous marriages was because she had no children.

Even if her ex-husbands were still alive, it was clear that they would have thrown her out if she hadn’t produced a successor for several years.

The purpose of her marriage was to have a child.

But the fact that she was married didn’t mean he needed children.

Vlad covered his eyes and forehead with a trembling hand. “If it was because of something like that, from now on…”

Like snow settling on the mud and melting even before it could properly freeze, he was filled with all sorts of dirty sludge. A filth that he didn’t want to reveal, even to the point of being misunderstood and despised. He felt like he was climbing out a pit with a broken leg.

Vlad took a deep breath. Before everything inside him exploded, he calmed himself down. “No. I will be back in three months. I promise.” His hand slipped away, revealing his grey, dry eyes.