Chapter 33 : Everything, I decide

Evelyn looked down at Fabian, who had been unconscious because of the paralytic poison. Listening to his mutter, she thought that Fabian was having a nightmare.

“I didn’t know……”

Serus said it was a symptom of mana poisoning. And Evelyn was asked to be by his side because he would be awake soon.

“Has he had nightmares?” Evelyn spoke to herself quietly.

Fabian was always a strong man, and there was no distraction. Even though Evelyn was his closest person, she still felt far apart. But now she felt strange when she saw Fabian’s pale skin, sleeping and having a nightmare.

It was an expression she didn’t know when she was by his side.

“why……”

Not only in real life, even in his dream Fabian kept repeated the same words again and again. He seemed still didn’t understand why Evelyn said good-bye.

“That’s probably because I had nightmares, too.”

Evelyn’s previous life was a nightmare. After losing her child twice, she became a puppet Empress wearing a crown on her head, and she spent days drying her blood before she finally died with a weak body.

“But you didn’t even look at me….”

The Emperor didn’t find out where the Empress was. And immediately said that he would no longer place any burden on her. In the end, the Empress was only a puppet who could only sit in a place where she could not give birth to a successor.

Although it wasn’t a dream, it was the life that Evelyn had lived through before returning to the past.

“Bad person. Locked in a cage, not paying attention.”

But there was no more hatred left for Evelyn. As a result, Evelyn was able to save Adrian’s life. After she got a lovely gift, her past became meaningless. Therefore, it couldn’t be denied that she had to keep as far distance as possible from Fabian.

“why……”

Fabian spoke out another empty word. Evelyn’s feelings toward Fabian right now were a pity.

It could have been some kind of sympathy. Yet, Evelyn felt something strong grasping her wrist at the next moment, and she saw Fabian’s pale face.

“·······lyn.”

Fabian’s hands were scalding. More than any other moment that Evelyn remembered.

“on··············.” Fabian’s hand held Evelyn’s wrist firmly.

“…… don’t leave me.”

It was a voice of loneliness.

“Evelyn….”

Fabian called her name. It was her name, a name that she thought he had forgotten forever.

“Me.”

At his call, Evelyn was slightly holding her breath.

“Don’t leave alone……..”

Fabian was sick now. But still, he was the Fabian who had ruined Evelyn’s life in her past.

***

He had a long dream. As Fabian barely lifted his eyelids, Evelyn’s blonde immediately caught his eyes.

“Empress….”

A familiar title came out without Fabian knowing it. Then, Evelyn looked at him calmly.

“Are you awake?”

Fabian’s hand held Evelyn’s wrist. It was a moment he didn’t know about. Fabian hesitated. He didn’t know whether to let go or hold her slender wrists.

“I’ve heard about the demons…..”

Evelyn felt the distance between them was closer than ever. She could feel Fabian’s pulse through his grip. Why didn’t he do this in the past? It’s easy enough to make her happy, though.

“I have an antidote, but it was sent by the Vatican yesterday.” said Evelyn. She was calm when told that.

“Yes. I’ll drink. And I won’t ask for sin.”

Perhaps it was because Evelyn had come herself that she got this answer.

“Here….”

Evelyn was used to pouring medication for him. Fabian shortly remembered his past memories with Evelyn and swallowed the humiliating antidote.

“Drink this….”

After that, Evelyn remained silent on Fabian’s side. And after a while, the antidote was starting to work. Only then did Fabian lift himself up by his own will, and he leaned back to his bed.

“Then, I’ll call Sir Serus.”

It was a natural procedure.

“·······You.”

“I have to go take care of Prince Adrian.”

But there was no way to stop Fabian.

“Excuse me, Your Majesty.” said Evelyn. She looked at her still-gripping-wrist as he stared at her blankly. Only then did Fabian release Evelyn’s wrist.

“Ah.”

“Well, I’ll get going.”

And suddenly, Fabian realized something. He, who took Evelyn’s hand off this time, was the same as when he let Evelyn go that night when she asked for a divorce.

“No.”

Just before Evelyn left, Fabian reached out and grabbed her wrist again.

“Your Majesty?”

Evelyn was the same. It was just like that night when the scent of the golden tree broke out.

“I didn’t want to let go.” he said. It was late, but Fabian found his heart.

“At that time……., I didn’t want to let you go.” But, his confession now maybe was too late.

“So, I don’t want to repeat my regrets.”

Fabian was still a self-centered man. Evelyn’s eyes shake, and even when she tried to pull out her wrists, his hot hand didn’t let her go.

“Evelyn.” Fabian called her name.

“I don’t want to let go of this hand.” said Fabian sincerely. He spoke his true heart, even though it was a really late answer.

“Your Majesty.” Evelyn said calmly. Her blue eyes were looking at Fabian.

“Our relationship ended then.”

The painful days had already been erased. Time passed, and Evelyn loved her present freedom now.

“No matter what…………. Even if you say your Majesty, there’s no turning back.”

Fabian was an Emperor but also a human being.

“I have already forgotten the resentment or regrets toward you.”

Evelyn was severe when she said that.

“For you…… did the marriage have nothing but only resentment and sorrow?” he asked. Fabian’s asking voice sounded pitiful.

“No…….there was other thing. Something that was sparkling and warm.”

“Then……”

Evelyn shook her head.

“It was my own.”

Now she could tell the story that she was supposed to tell at the night that the golden tree’s scent blossomed sweetly.

“All those hearts have always been my own.” said Evelyn. There was no hesitation or regret in her blue eyes.

“Your Majesty’s Empress, Evelyn Felice, died that day, under the golden wood tree.”

Suddenly, she thought Fabian’s selfish eyes were gone, but that wasn’t something Evelyn could touch. Because this was the life had chosen.

“So please forget me for the rest of your life.”

Fabian had a heavy silence.

“And just remember that our relationship is over.” Evelyn was firm to the end.

“Then, I’ll go back.”

After Evelyn gracefully bent her knees. And Fabian could only look faintly at her figure who disappeared from his sight.

A furious wind which louder than the night when Evelyn asked for a divorce, shook Fabian’s chest.

“Forget it.” Fabian repeated Evelyn’s words in a low voice.

“Evelyn…..you still don’t know me.”

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Low, but it didn’t sound angry at all….. Fabian’s voice was really calm.

“Did I look like someone who would do such a request?”

Fabian slowly closed his eyes and then opened it again.

“Everything…… is decide by me.”