I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

"OH hey, long time," Helio grinned. 

But Clyde could tell, the guy was still holding a grudge. 

Did he do something wrong? Or was the guy still mad at him for being late on the payment?

Either way, Clyde had to play this cool.  "Yeah, long time. Congrats."

What else could he say?

"Thanks!" Helio shook his hands and gave him a hug. 

Clyde was not expecting one, so yeah… before it got any weirder, he racked his brain. He proceeded to congratulate the bride and that was that. 

And then the couple moved on to other guests. 

'Well, that was easier-…'

Clyde exhaled sharply and carefully passed Helio- heading straight for the girl. 

Straight to Elsa. 

"HI!" his heart raced.

"Hi," Elsa said, a faint smile. She was alone. 

Was she waiting for someone or was she just trying to be near the newlywed couple? Clyde couldn't tell and frankly, he wasn't interested. 

"We met at the party the other day, my wild flo-" Clyde abruptly stopped. 'How the hell did it go again?'

And he'd already messed up the first half too. 

All the lines he'd ever conjured up became a jumbled mess in his head. 

Elsa held a hand over her mouth to suppress the giggles, but it was too late. 

And the laugh only made Clyde more conscious. 'Shit, she thinks I'm a weirdo!'

There were no words between the two. 

Awkward.

Silence.

And the fact that Clyde could hear all the whispers around them quite clearly, wasn't helping.

'Say something Clyde… something… anything!'                                                             

"You-you look beautiful."

Elsa was in a rather flashy dress. She wasn't showing off too much skin, but she did look gorgeous- to Clyde. "Oh, thank you. You look good too." 

Clyde meanwhile was just rocking his usual black pants and black leather jacket. He wanted to change into an expensive suit, but he couldn't wait. 

Now he was regretting that decision. He should have just gone for the suit. But when Elsa said he looked good- his chest automatically puffed up in pride. 

'But now what?'

He'd dated about seven girls these last two weeks to gain experience. His condition was mostly cured but the fact remained that he'd never been with a girl. So, he didn't know what to say to girls or how to act around them. 

He was just another horny virgin. But he wanted to change that. And for that, he started dating. It wasn't that he dated them just for the sake of dating, rather, he dated them so he wouldn't have to pull a blank during the real deal. 

Unfortunately, none of those dates helped. 

And this was the real deal. 

What was this feeling?

Something he didn't quite understand at first. 

Something that always made him lose his mind: Say something stupid. Something that always made his heart race fast.

Breathing became erratic. The laughter and chats in the distance, became distant. 

Sweat poured. 

He couldn't think anything, let alone say something. 

All that practice, gone to waste?

"Clyde, was it?" Elsa took a drink in hand; juice. 

"Oh, yeah, yeah!"

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Clyde. But I've got to go." Elsa took a sip of her juice and headed off to the other corner of the room where two girls were waving at her. 

'Shit!'

Clyde wanted to scream but he held it all in. At least he got to talk to her. he was almost at his limit, so this was a good point to stop. 

And at least it didn't go too weird and become too awkward. 

Keyword, 'too'. 

***

Helio greeted and shook hands with the guests.

When he'd first come back, he'd learned something. That something being, 'I have to give a frigging speech?' He was going to write it down today, and give it tomorrow. But he was going to have to give it now?

Like now, now!?

Needless to say, he was agitated beyond reason. 

So, it took him a while longer than usual to focus and remember stuff. His wife, Marg helped. 

And together, after a while, they came down, addressed the crowd, and talked. 

Helio didn't know what the hell he was saying but he let his mouth do the talking. 

He started off by thanking everyone. He was really grateful. He was slightly nervous but as he felt his wife's warm hand, he realized- he wasn't alone. 

At one point though, he figured perhaps it was best to thank Marg too. After all, she chose him. 

And he did too. 

Just some days ago, hugging, kissing in public in front of so many people would have been awkward to them- today though, it didn't matter. 

They went down. 

Helio was worried someone would mention something about the speech, but no one did. 

Everyone just congratulated them.

They were happy for them.

And his wife was by his side, always supporting him. 

He felt blessed. And he wanted to enjoy this time. This moment. 

So- he just talked nicely to everyone, no matter who they were. No matter what they did in the past. He just didn't care today. 

All he wanted was to spread the joy. 

And then he met Clyde. 

.

..

…

A bit of awkward silence but Clyde spoke normally. His speech was slightly unnatural and he tapped his feet way too often.

'Did this dude always look this nervous?' Helio figured it was best to not think about all that and went for a handshake. In the end, though, he even up hugging him.

Why?

He didn't know. Things felt even more awkward. But Clyde somehow changed the subject, thanked Marg, and that ended. 

With a little bit of sighing in relief, Helio faced the myriad of other guests. 

Today was special and he didn't have time to worry about other things. 

"You're doing great," Marg whispered to him at one point. 

"You too."

The two proceeded to just greet and shake hands. 

They were a newlywed couple and they were happy. And the people here were here for them, to celebrate them; celebrate their union. 

It was a once-in-a-lifetime occasion. It had to be special, it had to be memorable.

And it was too.

Until that happened. 

"You got to be kidding me." Helio held his head, sighed, and just stared ahead: deadpan. 

"Maybe we shouldn't have been giving away champagne so freely," Marg wondered, her tone neutral. 

Actually, Helio didn't even know they were giving champagne.. He didn't care though, at least till now.