I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

But this was better for me. The snake hadn't noticed me yet, so I pulled out my saber, transformed it to a bow, and shot without any regard. 

Even now, the snake was too busy chomping down on something, that something being a two-legged Mutor. 

'So this is why…'

I aimed for one of the heads. 

The arrow went fast and directly punctured one of the eyes of the snake: the head soon blew up. It had two heads, and now one just blew up because of my arrow. But I did catch its attention though. 

I had no regrets.

It threw half of the chewed Mutor away: the chewed piece burned and released a terrible smell. As if the rotting egg-sulfur smell in the air wasn't enough. 

It hissed and roared like a lion. Since when could snakes do that?

And more importantly, this thing looked more like a dragon than a snake!

It jumped out of the magma, and small bits of lava rained around me. I had to try my best to dodge. This place was already flaming and now I had to deal with this?

Its feet landed on the ground and as I thought, it looked more like a dragon than a snake. Its body was like a brachiosaurus and it had two heads like king cobras, covered with scales from head to claws. The last thing I wanted to see today. 

But one thing was for certain, my attack worked. 

Or not.

As it regrew two heads. 

'What the hell? Hey, no one told me, I'd be fighting a legend!'

This was illegal, how the hell could it regenerate like that!

But I had to stay calm. I still had my bow and I knew how the legends went. I couldn't do stuff like that. After all, I had magma around me. 

I took aim again and fired three consecutive shots, each hitting the heads, or so I thought. Just one missed. Two heads exploded while four grew back. 

This was bad. 

And I just made it worse. 

'Wait, how about-'I gathered energy on my palm and condensed it. I did it quickly, as the snake was busy trying to get close to me and bite me. I fired it straight at its body as its head came flying for me: I aimed at its chest where it might or might not have had its heart. I switched back to my scythe and cleaved the head that was crying to bite me. More heads quickly grew and came for me. 

This was bad.

Meanwhile, the plasma ball pierced the body and made a gaping hole, eventually crashing against the wall behind it. 

The body of the snake fell and it didn't regenerate.

'Well that went easy.' A lot easier than I thought. 

But there was one problem. 

'Oh shit.' I stared up and there was lava and stalactites: maybe all the thrashing on the walls and the floor was a bad idea. Those things were raining down straight at me, and around me: and a lava wave was also coming for me. There was nowhere to run. The big thing splashed so much that I was about to be broiled alive. 

My teeth clattered as I held my scythe over my head. 'Please work!' "Barrier!" I never screamed so loud or intently my entire life. But nothing happened and the lava just kept on descending. "Barrier! Barrier! Something! Just work!" I yelled all sorts of things and kept on swinging my scythe but this was it and I knew it. 

I closed my eyes. 'Just work!' But when I opened them, nothing had happened. But everything was black. There was no light. 

'What the hell?'

I didn't end up dead, right?

I doubled checked my body with my free hand and everything was where it should have been. I was unharmed but where was the light?

I tried producing plasma and I kind of wished I hadn't. 

The magma? The lava that was about to fall on me or wash me away? It did fall but it got stopped by the black barrier, a barrier from my scythe. A barrier, I had no idea how it formed. 

But more importantly, the barrier and lava both were still in place and I was completely surrounded in an oven of some sort. 

'Then why the hell do I still feel cold?'

I looked at my underwear and there was something else hanging from it: the crystal Merin had given me. No wonder I felt so cold. How the hell did I not notice it before? I had no idea. 

No wonder, my crotch was so cold even after all this. My poor son!

I picked up the crystal with one hand and held it near the flowing blackish-red magma. It didn't change much. I tried focusing my energy through the stone and I almost sent out a freezing wave of some sort! 'Cool.' Literally.

The lava hardened rather quickly. I tried moving my scythe, but it wasn't budging. I tried harder, cracks appeared on the lava dome. 

I didn't know why, but I had a very bad feeling about this, again. 

The barrier flickered. 'Shit.' The barrier vanished the very next second. 

My cheeks twitched as I stared at the dome.

There were cracks and the cracks expanded and before I knew it, it all broke down and fell on top of my head. 'Ouch.'

It hurt. And I had some scratches, I was bleeding, but at least I didn't get cooked. 

I took a breather and looked back. The snake monster thingy was still dead. But then there was the question. How the hell was I supposed to get its core?

My eyes twitched as I considered all the horrible ways things could go wrong. 

I held the stone near the red floor and the lava hardened rather quickly but there was a problem, it was still damn hot, and standing on top of it, was like dancing on fire. 

I couldn't stop here though. 

But when I finally reached the snake, I met with true horror. 

"The hell?"

I kind of wanted to cry. 

There was good news and there was bad news.

The good news, I didn't have to search for a core. The bad news, there was no core: I'd destroyed most of the damn thing. 

'No wonder it, died.' 

But then there was another question, 'How the hell am I supposed to get this out of here?"

I didn't know but I did pick up the fragments of the core: three fragments, the size of small oval diamonds. They were dark pink in color for some reason.

The moment I removed what remained of the core, the body started to get burned by the magma. I took steps back and made the distance. 

'So these cores, provide them with energy to survive?'

I guess that much was self-explanatory. 

***

I traced my way back. 

The stone in my hand was getting less and less cold. And I was sweating more and more as a consequence. I guess it didn't have limitless power. But I was glad it held out this long. 

By the time I reached the soldier, the crystal had completely lost its powers and I was being cooked alive. 

And yet, the soldier was still here waiting for me all this time. 

"Let's go."

"Sir." He was out of breath but he didn't need me to tell him twice. 

I started going back up. 

It was hard to climb back up, but at least we were getting far and far away from the heat.

"Did you kill it, sir?"

"Yup. I destroyed its core."

He looked way gladder than I thought he would. "Thank goodness, but, sir, what about the core? Weren't you supposed to be getting it?"

"I got fragments, don't worry about it."

"SIR!" He looked at me with even more respect. 

***

After what seemed like an eternity of torment, we got back to Nelbound. I breathed fresh air after all this time. 

Life felt heavenly. No more sulfur!

"My lord, would you like to go back now? I could escort you to the nearest exit and take you outside."

"The cold water one?"

"The cold water one?" He repeated my question.

"I mean, I came here through a lake in the snowy plains of this island."

The lizard man looked at me for a second without blinking. "I see. That must have been dreadful. My lord, I'd advise not to take that route."

"I'm afraid I have to," I mumbled. After all, all my stuff was there. I couldn't just run back to the dorms with just my underwear. Besides, it was Merin's jacket and he'd done a lot for me. So with a sigh- "Just take me to that lake." But now I felt even more horrible. 

'So there were other routes I could have taken?' I just wanted to lie down on my bed at this point and stuff my face in my pillow. 

"Sir." The guy grimaced but gave me a stern salute. Just what kind of stuff did this guy go through? 

***

I never did see the two reptiles that helped me before. I guess they had better things to worry about than me. 

"Jump in here, sir. And please swim for seven-minute to the north. And then take a south turn, until finally, you'll come across the ocean floor."

We were by the northeast wall and there was a small reservoir of water. It looked like seawater and I could even spot some fish. 

"Wait, what?" 'Seven minutes!?' "I don't think that's possible for me." I tried to chuckle. 'How the hell am I still alive?'

"Then allow me to take you there, Comrad."

Zig appeared out of nowhere and he wasn't wearing anything other than a swimsuit. Was he waiting for this or something?

I kind of didn't want to see his scaly body though. 

I looked around in hopes of catching a glimpse of Remia in a swimsuit but she wasn't here. 

I sighed. 

"Sure." I grinned. I had no reason to decline his offer. I took off my cloak. "Thanks a lot for this." I handed it to the soldier. "Please this to him once he gets back." I gave Zig a glance. "Why are you helping me?"

He grinned. "You look like our god, the god who saved me and Remia. I'm proud to help you."

I grinned too. "Glad to know that. And thank you."

He showed me his teeth, I really wished he hadn't. 

"Sir!" The soldier gave me a stern salute. 

'Enough with the salutes, dude.' I couldn't say that to his face though. 

"It'll be cold, so you better grab on to me tightly!" Zig jumped in the water. 

"You don't have to tell me twice!" I jumped in along with him, giving a goodbye sign to the soldier. 

He waved. "Please take care, sir! And thank you for avenging my sworn brother!"

"NO problem, bro." I gave him a thumbs up. Obviously, I didn't know but I was glad I did a good job.