I’m Back in the First Grade of Elementary School, so I’m Going to Live Well

“…… It’s weird, isn’t it? Such hobby.”

After finishing the story, Mizui-san said such a thing with fear.

Her self-deprecating words certainly contained the weight of her complex.

“Hmm..? Why?”

I simply wondered.

There was nothing strange about it.

Sure, it might be childish from the perspective of the average first grader, but at least from my perspective, it’s a cute hobby.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have the sensibilities of a first grader, but I’m sure it’s not a hobby that would give me a complex.

“Well, maybe it’s just my ego. I think people around me look at me like I’m an adult. It’s not something I consciously do, but my parents did a good job of educating me, so I naturally became this way. It’s like I’ve become a part of everyone’s life…”

You’re right.

I recognized her as having a mature personality.

“It is strange that I have such childish hobbies.”

“… Does that mean you don’t fit in with the image people have of you?”

“Yes, maybe so.”

Mizui-san dropped her gaze with a troubled expression.

Her personality is more mature than most first graders, so her worries are probably even more pronounced.

The fact that she can look at her surroundings and think clearly has become her downfall, causing her to overthink and worry too much.

To be honest, I don’t understand this problem at all.

After all, I don’t have any image of my surroundings to protect. At the moment, I only have one friend… 

But I can imagine what she’s going through.

She usually has the same attitude and behavior as an adult.

This is the image that has taken root in the minds of not only the children but also the teachers.

Neither the children nor the teachers have maliciously judged her personality. I was the same way.

However, their judgments were only based on what they saw on the surface, and at some point, the image around her turned into a heavy burden for Mizui-san.

I believe that the reason why she began to hide her hobby of picture books after she reached elementary school was that she could not betray the image created by others.

I told her that there is a line between being an adult and being a child.

In fact, that line should be unique to first graders.

Within this boundary, the category of picture book lovers may not be in the adult category, but it is too childish. However, I don’t think it’s so far from the boundary that it’s on the child’s side.

Until a couple of years ago, there were probably many people who liked picture books.

If they still liked it, it would have been just a “slightly childish side”.

However, this is not the case with Mizui-san.

She has always been perceived as a mature person, so what might be a small gap for a normal child would be a huge gap for Mizui-san, to the extent that her image would change drastically.

It’s not just her self-centered belief, but the fact that this is the future.

When she betrayed that image, she became worried that she would be a disappointment or let down, and her little secret grew into a big secret.

That’s why she can’t betray it.

And that’s why she was so upset when I found out about it.

After all, it was no longer a secret at that moment.

――I felt a little sorry for her.

I couldn’t imagine how hard it was for a first grader to be plagued by the image of her surroundings and not be able to say what she liked.

… So I had to meddle a little.

“Umm, this is a secret――” 

Before she could finish, I sat up and put my hand on Mizui-san’s head.

I gently tapped her head.

She gave me a surprised look, but didn’t seem to mind.

“You shouldn’t worry too much about what’s going on around you.”

The pressure of the people around her is too much for a small child in the first grade to bear.

“Mizui-san is indeed mature, but that doesn’t mean she’s really mature or that she has to be.”

She’s not really an adult on the inside like me.

“You can wait until you’re a little older to worry about what people think of you.

I know you don’t like me saying this to you, but you’re still a kid.

Why don’t you try to live a little more like a child, honest to yourself and free to do as you please?”

Was my gentle tap on her head meant to encourage her, or was it meant to help a child who was growing too tall to keep her heels on the ground?

I’m sure I tapped her gently on the head with both meanings.

It also means that I treat her like a child.

In my opinion, a first grader is still a child, and my wish is that the child should be able to live as a child.

“…… honestly, …… freely.”

Mizui-san recited my words in fragments as if she was chewing on them.

Perhaps it was because of this that I realized how embarrassing what I was doing was, and I quickly withdrew my hand.

“Ah, I’m sorry! I act too familiar, aren’t I?”

It’s not like I’m the main character in a shoujo manga, but it’s too cool to pat a girl on the head.

Even though I treat her like a child, from her point of view, I’m her classmate.

Even if she is a first grader, she must have some resistance to having her head touched by a boy her age.

I’ll try to be a little more restrained.

Before I ask Mizui-san to be a child, I have to be a first grader.

“Ah…… no, I don’t mind at all.”

But surprisingly, she didn’t seem to mind, in fact, she seemed to regret me letting go.

If you’re a first grader and you’re the opposite sex, it’s even harder to read your feelings.

I need to figure out which actions are safe and which are sexual harassment, and I need to understand the boundaries of communication in first grade.

“That… Thank you, for encouraging me.”

She used to speak with an air of dignity even when her secret was exposed, but now she seems a little more sullen.

But it’s not that she’s being distant, it’s more like she’s embarrassed or squirming.

Thank God. It seemed that touching her head was not sexual harassment.

However, there was a good chance that some people would get angry and say, “Don’t treat me like a child,” so I should refrain from casually touching her head.

“Y-You’re welcome…?”

I don’t feel like I’ve been able to help much, so I tilt my head slightly and accept the thank you.

“………… I know it may be presumptuous of me to ask you this after…… encouraging me, but………… please do me one favor. I need you to do one thing for me.”

She says it abruptly, stammering.

“……? Yeah, sure.”

I didn’t even ask what she was asking me to do, but I agreed with two words.

I told her that she should live an honest and free life, so I couldn’t just ignore the request that came out of her mouth.

Mizui-san is a thoughtful person, and I’m sure she won’t make any unreasonable demands.

She opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again.

But she quickly opens her mouth again.

“I-I want you to be my…… prince.”

She looks even more embarrassed, but summons up the courage to ask.

“…… eh?”

I had no choice but to reply to the request that had been made so abruptly.

Why in the world would she make that request at this time?

Or rather, what is the purpose of this request?

I don’t understand any of this.

“W-Why?”

I couldn’t help but ask immediately.

“It’s…… I-I’d rather not say. It’s embarrassing……”

I could see her hands on her knees, gripping the hem of her skirt tightly.

Mizui-san says that if it is possible, and if I ask her a little harder, she will tell me, but I feel uncomfortable doing that to a child.

But I’m still curious about the reason.

The prince…… A prince, huh?

I think she said she liked stories about princes and princesses.

――Maybe it’s part of the plaything?

Mizui-san said that she didn’t have a chance to talk about picture books until she was in kindergarten, and when she entered elementary school, she stopped talking about picture books with her friends.

Is this a reaction to the fact that she couldn’t talk about picture books until now?

It doesn’t seem to make much sense to me.

But she’s a first grader too. Maybe she simply likes that kind of play.

Since I’m not in the habit of reading picture books, I’m not sure I can be her playmate, so she wants me to be her playmate. Is that right?

I may be the only one who can accompany her in this childish game of playing, and that’s why she’s asking me to do so.

It could be that she is practicing my advice to live an honest and free life in her own way.

As the first step of her selfishness, she requested me, the person who gave her the advice.

Although there are some things that I don’t understand, I think I understand the general reason.

The point is that she wants me to play along with her as the only one who shares his secret.

It was an unintentional revelation, but it didn’t change the fact that I had revealed a secret.

So, as a way to atone for my sins, I’ll accept her request.

“Y-You can’t do that, can you? I’m sorry, forget it. I can’t ask you to do something like that without even knowing why――”

“Sure, I can do the prince.”

She smiled falsely, but I interrupted her and shook my head.

Then, perhaps surprised by the unexpected response, Mizui-san rolled her eyes.

“Eh? You don’t mind?”

“Well, I already agreed to it once.”

A man never takes back his words.

Well, even if you’re not a man, it’s not good to easily overrule something you’ve already said.

It’s okay to play along with them.

If it’s that kind of selfishness, I don’t mind listening to it.

“So… what do you want me to do?”

“Well, uhh, uhh, umm, mmm…――”

Happiness and surprise mingled within her, and she seemed unable to speak at once.

It might be troubling for Mizui-san to list the one thing she wanted to do first as a request, since she probably didn’t have many opportunities to do this since she started elementary school.

I’m not in such a hurry that I have to urge her to say something, so I’ll just wait for her to say it slowly.

She’s so cute, like a child who’s been told she can buy whatever toy she wants.

“――Then, let’s get right to it.”

Mizui-san’s impatient expression changed and she smiled gently.

The fact that she changed to respectful language means that she has already become a princess.

I was going to wait for a minute or even enough, but she immediately said the first thing she wanted to say to me, or rather to the prince since I was now playing the role of the prince.

Then she held out the back of her right hand to me.

This could be…… 

“If you are a prince, you know what this means.”

A kiss on the back of the hand.

It could be a Western greeting or a pledge of allegiance.

In stories, it is often done by a prince to a princess, but the meaning varies from story to story.

Well, seriously.

To be honest, I was expecting a simpler request.

I never had a girlfriend or even a first kiss in 28 years, so kissing the back of a girl’s hand was a bit too much of a hurdle for me.

But I was in no position to back down.

If I’ve come this far, I’ll go as far as I can.

I gently squeeze her hand as she sits down.

I’m not a member of the Western aristocracy or upper class, so I don’t know anything about the etiquette of this kind of thing.

I got down on one knee and looked up at Mizui-san.

Her face seemed to show the pounding in her heart, and she pursed her lips in a line between nervousness and anticipation.

Even though I was dealing with a kid, I was still a little nervous about doing this.

If it wasn’t a classmate, it would be a matter of concern.

The thought of what would happen if they found out that I was 28 years old made me nervous too. In a different way.

…… I have no choice but to do it now.

Get ready for it, me!

I brought my own lips close to hers, desperate.

I kiss the back of her hand.

“ ――…… umm, is this okay?”

My voice rises and I ask with a slightly uncomfortable intonation.

I’m so embarrassed that fire is about to erupt from my face…… 

I don’t feel like I’m acting like a prince, but Mizui-san smiles at me with a happy expression.

“I’ve certainly received your feelings. My prince.”

Is this some kind of dialogue?

She said this not as Mizui-san but as the princess.

Seeing her perfectly play the role of the princess, I was a little more enthusiastic.

“It’s an honor. Princess.”

I couldn’t help but say something like that.

I’m sure I’ll agonize over the embarrassment of what I’ve said when I get home, but for now, my priority is to keep her entertained.

I can think about the rest later.

“So what’s next――?”

“No, I’m fine.”

She interrupted my words and shook her head, reverting to Mizui-san instead of the princess.

I was the one who demanded it, but I didn’t mind if she demanded more.

It doesn’t make much difference whether I get one request or two.

“For now, this is enough.”

“……? ――I see.”

Well, if she says it’s good, I guess it’s good enough.

As if biting down on something, Mizui-san gently grasped the back of the right hand that had been kissed with her left hand.

“Thank you, for listening to my selfishness.”

“No, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yes, it is. Because I’m really… happy.”

You were happy to play along with me, I guess.

That’s a small price to pay.

“…… Well, I’d better get going.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

After she sees me off, I put my school bag on my back and head back to the classroom.

Then, Mizui-san remained alone in the library.

She looks lovingly at the back of her right hand.

“Itosaki-kun…… Sho-kun is my――”

Her cheeks were tinged red from the sunset, or was it――?