Ch42 - (2) I Got The Wrong Audience

Chu Huai was called by the mortician to sit in front of a bronze mirror.

The lights were dim, and Chu Huai looked up. The center of the ceiling was still an old-fashioned tungsten lamp, and there were bugs inhabiting the gray light bulbs. The atmosphere was a bit depressing.

Behind, the old woman squeezed oil paint into the paint tray and was adjusting the color with her head down.

The mortician is also called the undertaker, and her job is mainly to make up and prepare the deceased.

The old woman came over after mixing the paint and sat in front of Chu Huai. The red paint was about to write on Chu Huai’s skin.

“Don’t move, soon, you will be my most perfect artwork.” The old woman seemed to have a wire in her throat, and her voice was eerie.

When the pen touched his, it was cold to the touch, and cold air penetrated into his body. For a moment, Chu Huai felt that the vitality in his body was weakened.

As she drew, Chu Huai obviously noticed that the blood flow slowed down, his body temperature gradually dropped, his breathing interval became longer, and his blinking frequency also became lower.

When Chu Huai came out, Luo Ziyang almost suffocated.

In his impression, as long as Chu Jiao doesn’t smile, she is dull, her complexion is sickly white, and her lips are the color of lychee-flavored lollipops, but the skin of the person in front of him is extremely rosy, and if he looks closely, he can see light and flowing red blood veins.

Her lips are red, her teeth are white, her eyes are like cold stars, and her spirit is high.

Jin Tianyi, who was leaning against the wall, said with a blank expression: “I really want to gouge out the eyes of those guests.”

Chu Huai smiled a bit like a beast: “Don’t worry, I will blind their eyes.”

Jin Tianyi: ” …”

After putting on makeup, he went to record the VCR. There are two paragraphs in total, which are basic personal information and relationship experience.

The ghost director sat across from him: “First introduce the basic information.”

Chu Huai was thinking about how to fabricate a perfect identity to ensure he can successfully obtain clues, but the ghost director seemed to know what he was thinking, and suddenly heheed twice: “If you lie and the authenticity is lower than 70%, you will directly lose the qualification for the competition.”

Chu Huai didn’t change his face: “I wasn’t going to.”

If he doesn’t make good use of the 30% deception, he will lose this time.

The camera was turned on.

Chu Huai smiled at the camera: “My name is Chu Jiao, I’m 20 years old.”

“I’m starting a business focused on games.” Starting a game company.

“I have my own suite.” The VIP presidential ward of the mental hospital.

“I own an expensive four-wheeled vehicle.” New technology wheelchair.

“There is no father, no mother, no brothers, and sisters, so there will be no problems of competing for family property and supporting the elderly.” Being in no contact with them basically means not having them at all.

“Like raising cute little animals.” Green lizards and white salamanders.

“Can cook.”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

…

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“The one who loves you or the one you love?”

Chu Huai said without hesitation, “Someone I love.”

“Your reason.”

“I would feel wronged to be with someone I don’t love, and they would feel wronged as well.”

Director Gui was amazed: “If you love him and he doesn’t love you, you won’t be wronged?”

Chu Huai spread his hands and smiled innocently: “The one I love will definitely fall in love with me.”

The ghost director looked at his face, inexplicably feeling extremely convinced.

Chu Huai went out after finishing speaking.

After Luo Ziyang and Jin Tianyi finished recording, the show officially started. According to the order of drawing lots, Chu Huai was the first.

The three of them stood in front of the big screen.

Blood oozes on the screen, bordered by Alice in Wonderland-style thorns and vines, and there is a black cross in the center of the screen, the style is hard to describe.

Chu Huai stood in the center of the big screen, and the host’s voice suddenly came from a red coral near him: “The first part: the first experience of love.”

Chu Huai thought it was just a decoration before, but now, he realized that it’s a big speaker.

Coral is the dead body of coral polyps, which condense into coral after death.

The host was talking about the rules: “The 24 guests will come out one by one, and the contestants will select their favorite guest”

When Luo Ziyang heard that the ghost guests were about to appear, he immediately brought his face closer and squeezed in the middle.

Jin Tianyi calmly pulled Chu Huai closer to him, as if to make room for Luo Ziyang.

The first guest came out. Luo Ziyang, who was closest to the screen got a big shock:  “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

On the screen was a female ghost wearing a pink top and green trousers, with a green face and fangs, and the inner corners of her eyes were cracked. The female ghost poked her head at the camera for a while and then smiled shyly. 

A maggot slid out from the corner of her overflowing mouth. The screen was very clear, and the black spot at the end of the maggot was clearly visible. The female ghost looked flustered, and immediately stretched out her long, scarlet tongue, rolled the maggots back into her mouth, and then smiled at the big screen, revealing more maggots between her teeth. 

All the female guests from behind came up, but this one stayed and refused to leave. Chu Huai looked at Jin Tianyi affectionately and said, “Thank you.” 

After this comparison, he suddenly felt that Jin Tianyi was a celestial being, very pleasing to the eye. Jin Tianyi was extremely satisfied. 

Luo Ziyang calmed down, resisted the urge to vomit, walked away from the big screen, and said sincerely: “Jiaojiao, you… really don’t have to worry about the boss’s empathy.” 

Chu Huai: “I didn’t expect it to be the poverty alleviation team either.” They are so unsightly that even other ghosts themselves wouldn’t like them. 

Jin Tianyi raised the corner of his mouth slightly, and glanced at Chu Huai: “…you can pick someone you’re interested in.” 

Chu Huai had a half-smile: “I almost got a heart attack.” 

Jin Tianyi sneered. On the screen, a Qing dynasty zombie was bouncing past. 

Chu Huai sighed: “…It’s quite comprehensive.”

When the next guest came out, Chu Huai saw two big black feet first.

His eyes moved down slowly, legs, hanging, upper body, neck, and then the face.

The ghost is upside down, with a slanted mouth, and limp hair dragging across the dirty ground.

When Chu Huai met the pair of red phoenix eyes bent down into the character “eight” because of standing upside down, it was hard to express his mood for a while.

He didn’t want to be scolded anymore, so he simply picked up his phone and pressed the number “13” of this inverted ghost.

Luo Ziyang: “Jiaojiao, why did you choose him? He’s so ugly…”

Chu Huai put down his phone expressionlessly, and turned his back to the big screen: “Under normal circumstances when he’s in position, the microphone stand will just block his face, only his two feet will be exposed, so I don’t have to see his face.”

Luo Ziyang hesitated to speak.

Chu Huai: “You can say it.”

Luo Ziyang covered his head and said cautiously: “But… in that case, if you succeed in holding hands with him, you have to grab his big black feet.”

Chu Huai imagined that picture, the veins on his forehead were throbbing violently.

“Hey! That one looks good…” Luo Ziyang stared at the big screen behind Chu Huai and said suddenly.

Just as Chu Huai was about to turn around to look, the elevator door on one side opened at this moment, and he went out: “You guys choose too.”

After he finished speaking, he entered the elevator.

The elevator was dark, with no lights, and the walls were sticky like blood. The elevator doors closed.

Jin Tianyi picked up the mobile phone he got, and without thinking much, he pressed “12”, which was the number of the Qing Dynasty zombie.

Luo Ziyang opened his mouth into an O shape: “Boss, did you select correctly? That ghost is obviously… a man.”

Jin Tianyi glanced at him lightly: “I’m showing loyalty to my wife, do you have any objections? The show didn’t say no homosexuality.”

Luo Ziyang laughed. After seeing the appearance of the guests, he was already desperate, and it didn’t matter whether he succeeded or failed in holding hands.

He thought about the glimpse just now and silently pressed “24” on his mobile phone.

Although number 24 is also a man, he is good-looking.

Host: “Now we invite our No. 1 guest, Chu Jiao, to come on stage.” 

The elevator door opened, and his interview video began to play on the big screen for the guests.

The moment Chu Huai appeared, there was a deathly silence. Immediately, the male ghosts became alert and interested, while all the female ghosts turned off their lights almost simultaneously. 

The stage is very simple, like an abandoned factory, and with the dilapidated and dirty elevator before, it looks more like it. The room was old-fashioned, with big log beams.

Chu Huai controlled his eyes to keep them from looking forward and looked for the host. He searched around, but he didn’t see her. He looked around again and then found her finally when he looked up. 

One of the host’s jade legs was bent into the shape of a mosquito-repellent incense coil, wrapping around the log beam like a snake. She hugged the beam with one hand and looked down. Her face was as pale as paper, but she still had makeup on her face that looked to be from the Tang Dynasty. 

Chu Huai was too lazy to complain.

While the video kept playing, with a “click” someone on the stage turned off their lights.

Then… the sound of “click, click, click” kept sounding as more lights were being turned off.

Chu Huai: “…” He thought he had done a good job.

Jin Tianyi, who watched the VCR in the background: “…it is really extraordinary.” 

After the VCR finished playing, the host held the microphone in one hand: “There are still 3 male guests left for Chu Jiao.”

Chu Huai: “…” Most lamps were turned off in his first round.

Chu Huai looked over to the stage, the victim of the heart attack still kept the light on for him, it was okay.

The host coiled on the beam turned around the beam, loosened herself twice, lowered her body from the pole, and handed the microphone to Chu Huai.

Host: “It’s time for the question and answer session.”

Chu Huai picked out the zombie-looking ghost: “Why did you turn off the light for me?”

Zombie: “You have no father and no mother. I hope that my other half is born noble and the parents have a high level of education so that my next generation will have a good living environment.”

Chu Huai: “…” You already look like that, yet you’re still so picky. 

Chu Huai addressed all the ghosts: “Don’t you like your partner to have a house and a car with both parents dead?” 

The 12 female ghosts said in unison: “I like it!” 

The 8 male ghosts with the lights off: “I don’t like it!”

Chu Huai: “…” Well, he got the wrong audience.

Jin Tianyi laughed out loud from behind the scenes.