I’m Not in Love Yet

1 - I thought something had started, but it didn’t. Instead something else had begun.

“I’m sorry, Jinnai-kun. I said I liked you, but it was a punishment game. Let’s go back to being club members from now on, okay?”

“Ah…. That’s right. Guess it can’t be helped then…. I understand. So, with that being said.”

To tell you the truth, I feel frustrated and I want to be angry. I’ve been thinking that my life was horrible, and just when I thought something fun was finally happening in my life, this is what they did to me.

But still, if you act out on your emotions to someone who did this, you would only entertain them. You’ll only be ridiculed and ridiculed by your friends later.

If that’s the case, it’s better to end this farce quickly and leave this place, and I feel like I can give the other party a shot if they were not as excited as they thought I would be.

So I decided to end this and go home.

“Well then, I understand. Goodbye.” 1

I told her in a very flat voice and left without even glancing at her.

I, Shuhei Jinnai, gloomily wondered what the meaning of my life of the past 17 years was.

The next day I missed school. To say that I wasn’t shocked by what happened yesterday would be an understatement.

That’s part of it, but more importantly, I wanted to think about what to do with myself in the future without anyone getting in my way.

…Should I quit the club? As a percussionist in a brass band, I am aware that I have been passionate in my own way since I started in junior high school, but I don’t feel like continuing with members who do things like that, and at the same time, I have noticed that my passion for the brass band is dying out.

I can’t even fit into the class, and if I quit the club, I’ll become even more of a loner, but oh well.

Although I felt a little discouraged, I decided what to do tomorrow and headed to the living room to have lunch, realizing that I hadn’t eaten anything since this morning.

 The living room was empty of course. My father works all the time and doesn’t care about me, and my mother got fed up with him and left us three years ago.

And my mother told me, “Your mother has a new life now after remarrying, so leave me alone.” I was rejected and continued to live in a state of abandonment and neglect.

The thought of no one loving me and being unworthy of anyone’s attention, combined with the fact that I was alone in the empty living room, made me feel terribly lonely. The feeling of loneliness and depression was so strong that I felt as if the world was saying to me, “You’re worthless.” I end up hugging my knees on the sofa.

After eating lunch and taking a bath, I went to bed, wasting my time.

“If tomorrow just wouldn’t come.”

“I wish the world would die while I sleep.”

I fell asleep with such wishes that would never happen.

I told the club’s advisor that I was leaving the club first thing in the morning and went about my daily life just like before, except that I would no longer go to the club.

I was planning to spend the rest of my school life as a nobody, but after three days, something strange happened.

“Senpai! Why aren’t you coming to the club?”

Chizuru Hase, a former junior member of the club, it was her. She joined the club as an inexperienced player and was placed in the same percussion part. Ever since then, I’ve been teaching her everything from how to hold the sticks to how to read music sheets, and she’s been very involved with me.

“I’ve already quit the club.”

“Huh!? What are you talking about!? Then who do you think will practice with me!? I’m having a hard time keeping up with Shoji-senpai’s sexual harassment practice sessions because of your absence for the past three days. In the first place, why did you suddenly quit…?”

I was fed up with her sudden fast talk, but I waited for the storm to pass.

You can probably guess from the way she treats me that she doesn’t think of me as a senior. I’ve heard that she was on the track team in junior high school, but didn’t she learn about hierarchy at the time she was there?

“Hey, shut up. Turn it down a little.”

I was in a depressed mood, and her tension was getting on my nerves, so I snapped and told her to slow down a bit.

“It was for my own reasons that I quit, and I don’t care about your problems.”

“You’re saying that again! Senpai is too unfriendly! I want to know why you quit! I don’t want you to quit if I don’t agree with your reason!!”

Hase was circling around me, trying to find out. She’s as persistent as ever, so I have to tell her otherwise she won’t let me go.

Giving up, I explained to her how it all started with a lie and how my current enthusiasm for the band had disappeared. As expected, Hase got heated up when she heard my explanation.

“That happened!? Ano-senpai does some pretty nasty things! That’s why the brass section is so bad! They think they’re the star of the band and do whatever they want1”

It’s not the brass section’s fault. If you look at it from an individual point of view, I think what they did was disgusting.

“If that’s the reason, I can’t blame you. I’m not going to force you to stay… A-ah, I think I’ll quit too.”

“…Why would you?”

“Because Senpai is not here. Shoji’s sexual harassment is just plain annoying. Because our club is so big, we have factions and it’s a little awkward. I don’t think it’s fun to continue.”

“…Do what you want. You’re free to quit.”

“Then I’m quitting♪”

She decided so easily. I had to think about it for a day before I decided. I honestly envy her optimism.

“Well, if you’ve made up your mind, I have nothing else to say. I’m leaving.”

“Ah!? Let’s go home together, Senpai! Why are you going home alone!?”

…Are you still trying to get involved with me? I’m not in the mood for this, to be honest.

“Why do you look so uncomfortable!? Going with such a beautiful girl like me, it’s like a dream come true for a nerd like you!”

It seemed that my displeasure had come out on my face, and she started to get annoying again. Also, don’t call yourself a beautiful girl.

If you look at her objectively, she’s probably one of the prettiest people you’ll ever meet She has a short haircut because she used to be in a sport club and has a vivacious expression that rivals that of an idol, and her slender figure makes her an active and energetic person who walks around in cute clothes. …Her breasts are modest though, and the way she interacts with you is annoying.

“…Muu, are you thinking of something rude?”

“No, nothing?”

“…Something’s bothering me but okay, let’s get going senpai♪ Where are we stopping?”

Don’t just decide to come along…

“Well, regardless if it was a lie, there are plenty of girls out there. You should look for your next love.”

No, honestly, I don’t want to do this anymore. If anything, I don’t want to get involved with women for a while. So why don’t you go away, too?

“You’ve got that sour look on your face again. That’s why girls avoid you. You don’t have much of a face to begin with. You can’t make a good impression with that♪ You’ll be single for a while right♪? It can’t be helped, I’ll take care of you♪”

I was really upset, so I just said it. In hindsight, I think this was the decisive moment that changed our relationship.

“Well, then, why don’t you take care of me? There’s no one home right now, so it’s perfect.” 2

“…Eh?”

He uses Sayonara here.Did my best to try to translate this sentence.