I’m Not in Love Yet

5 - Lunch (And thinking about the future) ☆

Well, it was a good idea to go out for lunch with Hase, but it was a Saturday, and everywhere was crowded.

We can either get a quick fast food or stop by a coffee shop that has an appropriate menu.

“Anyway, let’s see what you want.”

“What do you mean by ‘anyway’!? You’re going out with this beautiful girl!?”

Ah, yeah, yeah. Beautiful girl. I don’t feel like it after seeing her lasciviousness yesterday.

Actually, come on. Why are you holding on so tightly to my arm? It’s hard to walk, and I’m worried about people’s eyes on me.

“…I’m still having trouble walking around because my vagina is tingling. And like….I feel like it’s still inserted in….”

“O, oh…Somehow, sorry…”

I felt embarrassed all at once, and Hase’s face was also red. The air became a little uncomfortable, so we decided to go into a coffee shop that we happened to see.

The coffee shop we entered on the spur of the moment had a solid menu where we could eat as well, and it was a place I had been to several times when I was too lazy to cook dinner, so it was just right for me. The shop was moderately crowded and we didn’t need to wait.

“So, what do you want to eat?”

“That’s right~It’s your treat and I don’t know what to choose~”

“Hey, you were going to use ‘my virginity’ or whatever! Order what you’d like!”

It’s weird. Why does it feel like I’m the one who’s vulnerable? Is it possible that I’m going to be dominated by this girl for a while?

I finished my meal and left the restaurant, puzzling over the concerns that had just arisen.

This girl doesn’t really know the word ‘refrain’. My wallet was now much lighter, so I decided to stop by an ATM on the way home, and broke up with Hase.

“So long senpai♪ See you on monday♪”

“Oh, have a safe trip home.”

“It’s okay, I’ve only just past noon♪”

I saw Hase off in an unusually good mood and headed home.

The living room is empty as always, but it felt more empty than usual just because that little nagging thing that had been with me since morning was gone.

I sat down on the couch and thought about what happened yesterday. I was so pissed off that I raped Hase, but the next morning she was closer to me than usual.

Does she like me? I almost misunderstood.

“I said I liked you, but it was just a punishment game.”

…It’s hard to believe that someone like me could be liked by anyone. It was simply the right timing for Hase to want to get rid of her virginity or something. I’m sure that’s what it was.

Even if Hase makes a pass at me in the future, it will only be a physical relationship. That’s how it must be.

I just did it. I was teasing him in my usual way, and it just turned out to be my first experience like that. It’s not that I don’t like him, he’s more like my favorite person, but…

When I got home, there was no one as I expected. Dad is probably at work and mom is probably working part time. I wonder… if my sister is out playing?

They didn’t get suspicious when I called to stay the night with him, but it was hard for me to face them, so I aimed to come back at a time when no one would be around, and I guess I was right.

I went into my room and changed my clothes. I wasn’t sure if I should take a shower again, but now I felt like I needed to face my unsettled feelings.

I lay down on my bed and thought back to last night. My first time.

At first it was just painful, but as time went on, the pain gradually faded away, and the next thing I knew, I was feeling more pleasure than I had ever felt in  my life.

Even when I touched myself, I knew which part of my body felt the best, but this was nothing compared to that.

In the end, my head and heart were already a mess, and I felt like a leaf being swept away by a river, and all I could do was cling desperately to Senpai to keep from drowning.

…Senpai’s body was sturdy and mainly….I used to playfully hug my friends of the same sex, but it was completely different.

When I remembered the feeling of Senpai’s body, it made me feel hot and sore in the pit of my stomach, and I remembered the feeling of Senpai’s cock, which had been inserted into me many times.

As if I was carried by such a fever, I crawled my fingers into my pussy, and it was already very wet. I can’t believe how wet it is without even touching it….

Kuchu….kuchu….kuchu…..

“Ahn…..nngh……nn…..”

When I insert my finger into my vagina, I feel a tingling pain and a dull pleasure. The pain is still stronger, so I move my finger to trace the entrance and stroke my clit as well.

Nyuru….nyuru….kuni….

“Ahn…Nn…..Nnngh….!”

It doesn’t bother as much, so I just let the heat in the pit of my stomach take over and continue to jerk off. My parents are fine, but I don’t know when my sister will be back.

I kept the terrycloth in my mouth to keep my voice from leaking out, and touched myself while stifling my voice, as if it were a secret, and I couldn’t think of anything else.

“Nn…..! Nngh….! Mmm! Mmmgh!”

One hand was no longer enough, so I finally started using both hands.

I can’t live with myself if someone sees me spreading my legs as I trace my clit and entrance.

But that didn’t stop me from fingering myself, and my fingers started to enter my vagina. Even the tingling pain became a pleasant sensation that made my head numb. But it’s not enough, I want you to stir it deeper into me…..!

“Nnaah….! Senpai…..I want it……! Senpai, I want you to thrust it deep into me….!”

Once it was out of her mouth, I couldn’t stop it.

“Fuaah! Senpai! Deeper! Thrust harder! Fuck me hardeeer…..! Make me cummm…!”

In my fantasy, I’m being fucked by Senpai over and over again, and every time Senpai’s cock knocks the back of my vagina, I’m cumming.

“Ahn! Ahhn! Ahhhhn! I’m cumming…..!”

Splurt! Splurt!

Something pops in my head and everything goes blank. I got it….but it’s shallow…I can’t get the deep pleasure of having everything squishy like when I was held by Senpai.

“I’m back~. ….Chizuru? Are you home?”

I had just finished cleaning up after myself and went to the fridge to get a drink when my sister came home. My twin sister, Chitose.

When I’m with Chitose, I often feel inferior. That wasn’t the case in the past.

Until I graduated from elementary school, I could understand what Chitose was thinking as if I were a telepathic, and she understood me back. But after I entered junior high school, there were many things I didn’t know about her, and the gap between me and Chitose kept widening.

I couldn’t compete with her in any sports or studies. Chitose is also the one who attracts people around her. I started running track to win at least one race, but I had to quit because I broke my knee.

I don’t like it. I don’t hate her. But it was painful to be around her. Even though we were twins, I felt as if the world was saying to me, “You are worthless” and “All one that matters is Chitose.”

In the midst of all this, it was only senpai who had a similar vibe as me, the time when he earnestly taught me in the club, and the time when he held me in his arms yesterday, seeking me over and over again, that was the only time I felt like I was needed and I was happy.

“I’m back, Chizuru. It’s unusual for you to stay over at others.”

“Welcome back, Chitose. I was with my friends a bit…..”

In order not to rag on the smart Chitose, I broke off the conversation and headed for my room to escape.

“Hmm, friends…huh.”

I didn’t notice Chitose’s mutter at the time.