Chapter 5 - How Much I Want You

I went wide-eyed at the sudden mention of Fabian’s name. His implication was clear; Mayer must have realized that I had memories of the first playthrough. All of a sudden, I felt panicky and dizzy, even more so than when Mayer first offered me a position among his expedition corps. 

Who would’ve imagined that he would have such a card up his sleeve? More importantly, I wondered if I should just pretend I didn’t know Fabian… The real question was whether Mayer Knox would believe my words or not. He was practically treating me like a vigilante already… 

Golden eyes flashing with confidence, the duke smiled slightly and said, “I detest wasting time and talking in circles. I believe I have given you more than enough time, so let us get to the main point now.” 

I sighed tiredly. It seemed that these few minutes after we left the dungeon were all the time Mayer was allowing me to consider his offer. The man was being more difficult than I thought he’d be. At times, simple problems were even more complex because of their simplicity; Mayer was exactly that type of person. With a voice that sounded resigned and wary at the same time, I asked him, “…How did you know I have memories of the first playthrough?” 

“…First playthrough? What a curious expression. Going by your words, are we in the second playthrough, then?” Mayer wondered out loud, seemingly amused by the gaming terminology I let slip by habit. He repeatedly muttered “playthrough” to himself, rubbing his chin, before continuing. “You want to know how I knew? Why, just by looking.”

“Pardon?” I asked, flabbergasted. 

“If possible, you should avoid lying. Even a child is better at fooling others than you. You may have thought yourself secretive enough, but your face is like an open book.” He chuckled.

I was speechless. Surely it wasn’t that bad! As my face grew hot by his teasing, I tentatively asked, “…You’re joking, right?” 

“I am serious. Although, of course, with the knowledge that I am not the only one who remembers the… ‘first playthrough’, as you put it,” he said, “it was easy to catch onto your strange attitude.”

“It can’t be…” I murmured.

“Indeed. Fabian Ignis; he also knows what will happen.” 

So Mayer had already realized that Fabian had retained his memories? It was amazing how precisely he had filtered those who remembered the first iteration from those who didn’t. Was this what people called the ‘power of an ultimate boss’?

His unexpectedly quick comprehension of the situation froze me on the spot. Disregarding whether I felt nervous or not, he continued speaking in a dry tone. “At first, I thought I had gone mad; everything I remembered was happening again.” He tapped his head lightly with his fingertips. “And yet, while everything else in the world was happening exactly the same way, Fabian Ignis alone was making completely different decisions. It was then that I became certain: I was not the only one who had these memories.” 

I remained silent and so he went on. “Despite knowing you would be waiting for him in this dungeon, Fabian intentionally chose to go to another dungeon. He abandoned you. Therefore, if your intention is to wait for him to come, I would like to inform you that you are waiting in vain.” 

Although I had assumed he would say so, it didn’t help me feel any less hollow inside. I inwardly counted to a hundred, trying to maintain a calm appearance. No matter how dejected I felt, I couldn’t let it show; if I did, I’d be led by the nose. It would be quite troubling to have the man expecting me to join him take revenge. Fabian was Fabian, while Mayer was Mayer. I tried my best to draw a line between us as I responded with feigned calm. “He probably went to raid Ignota Dungeon to get the Ring of Flames…” I voiced my speculation. 

“Exactly,” Mayer said, sounding genuinely surprised. “I cannot understand why you refuse my offer despite being so clever. How can you side with Fabian after all you went through?”

Side with Fabian? I could side with him forever if only it helped me avoid getting involved with Mayer—I could curse Fabian as much as I wanted later, after all. Forcing a laugh, I said, “Well… It’s certainly a good item. I’m sure Fabian had his circ*mstances.” 

Immediately after I uttered those empty words, I felt as if my tongue had become stiff. Only a Buddhist that had attained Nirvana could react as I did. The lengths I was willing to go to be rid of Mayer… Gotta say, what a tough girl I am!

Mayer frowned, seemingly not expecting me to be so unwilling. He shot me an impatient look and sneered, “Are you just that good of a person, or perhaps… Oh. Now that I think about it, you were famous for being Fabian’s dog. Is that why you remain loyal to him despite having been abandoned?”

I laughed bitterly. “I see that you still remember that unpleasant nickname I got.” It was a humiliating nickname, yes, but I didn’t even have the energy to get angry. Besides, it wasn’t exactly wrong to call me that either; I was more surprised that Mayer knew about it.  

Mayer switched his tone into one of pleading, saying, “How about you tell me the conditions you want? I will give you the best treatment.”

“Is there a need for the Dark Knight to pick up something discarded by another?” I taunted.

“I will do so all too willingly if that something is more precious than diamonds. You see, I value efficiency over honor,” he tried to persuade me, staring at me fixedly with eyes full of longing. They burned hot with the desire to obtain me no matter the means, making me feel as if I’d suddenly become Zhuge Liang.