I'm still alive

The sound of shoes that don't match here reverberates quietly across the hall to the apartment complex. High-heeled shoes, clean clothes and skirts. I even have makeup on my face. It is a sharp comparison with people at a distance of just 30 meters. But she passes the hall carelessly, as if she were watching people on TV. Yeah, it's something I don't think about.

The woman who passed through the hall didn't seem to find us. The old man laughed dumbfoundedly, and quietly spat out the bitter spit he had endured while looking at the body. The company's expressions are not good. But rather than chasing her and arguing, I began to focus on reading the surrounding atmosphere.

This familiarity was a nasty smell from a crushed fear. The residents gathered in front of the drummer hurriedly closed their mouths and laid snow as she passed. A lump of hatred wafts toward a woman like a haze. But perhaps because of the imprinted fear, the hatred was only quietly stirred and never expressed out. It was only a minute, but I could quickly guess the atmosphere and situation of this apartment complex.

"Bitch... ...fuck you...….’

The man who guided us quietly bowed his head and clenched his teeth. Apparently this young man knows her well. But the man, who swallows his anger, was not much different from the residents gathered in front of the drums. Yes, it was just a scared puppy.

He was using harsh swear words with his mouth, but the sound is so small that even the faint wind hides it. It is indistinguishable whether the curse is on that woman or on the pathetic self. The eyes trembling with fear are lost, and hatred is scattered like breath because it cannot be expressed. There was a sigh of frustration in my mouth, but I didn't want to ask much. I just asked him one thing I wanted to find out.

What's her name?’

'What?'

The man raised his head in great fright. Did I ask you something I wouldn't ask? As if he had taken out a word he shouldn't say, the man began to look around in a fright. And after a while, if you're sure no one heard you, you come up to me and put your index finger quietly on your lips. You want me to be quiet? Uh, okay. I looked at his busy-moving eyes once shut up. He begins to check the equipment and facial condition to see if he's even looking at our capabilities.

I raised the gun as if it were for the man. They are all real guns carefully groomed. See? We're these people. I've already punched her, so don't be scared and tell me. I kept my mouth shut, but I sent the man a look of demand.

Then he gulped at the sight of the gun I was holding, and his lips began to shiver quietly. His face showed signs of agony, and he swallows saliva on his neck. In the middle of winter, the worries that take place here in the cold wind did not take that long. The man opened his mouth about a minute later.

Would you like to go to our house for a while?’

Originally, I was going to the management office where the main members of the apartment were gathered. But he invited me and my party to his residence because he didn't think it was a story to be brought up here. I hesitated for a moment because of not much time, but I couldn't turn away from his eyes, which seemed to beg for help, and eventually nodded and called Park Dae-bak.

'Stay in place around you.’

Team 2 has the ability to move independently at any time. I ordered such a team to build a base camp, and Park Dae-bak was busy accepting it without complaining. Only me and the old man will go to that man's residence. The rest of the group is prepared for possible situations in this area with a clear view along Park Dae-bak. That's what I ordered, I carried my gun behind me and walked along with the man.

Passing through the steps that gave a man a dreary air, he guided us to his house in the corner of the second floor. The corridor on the second floor was strewn with front doors and dirty filth showing signs of forced opening. But still, the signs of popularity were telling us that there are many people living here. The man quietly opens the front door, spouting poor excuses.

'High-rise is cold and no one lives. It's warm here, so...….’

The man opened the front door and looked at us as if to come in. Then the child behind the man entered the house as if he were familiar with it, and walked across the living room without taking off his shoes. When I open the front door, a little warm air hits my face with acrid smoke. A closer look showed that on the half-open veranda there was a drum bowl seen in front of the jar earlier, and in it there were poor firewood burning.

I'm supposed to serve you some tea.….’

The environment was so bad that it wouldn't be strange if I got sick right away. Cleanliness and coldness, which are amazing to see that they are still alive, and PET bottles containing dirty water were carefully hidden in one place. The man blushed shyly, and laid newspapers in a clean place. Me and the old man shake their heads and sit down as if they are okay.

We haven't spoken for a while. The man sat still with his head down, and the child was hiding in one room far away and peeping at this place, whether we, who were unfamiliar, were still afraid. Soon after, the old man, who was smiling happily, pulled the snack out of his pocket and shook it, the child's eyes shook, and soon began to swallow like a dog wagging its tail. I looked at the man in the midst of that and asked,

What's your name?’

'Kim Ji-young, her name. I'm not an apartment guy, but...….’

'Not her, but your name.’

I cut off the man and corrected him once again. I followed her because I wanted to know her name, but I wanted to know the name of the person in front of me before him. He raised his head in surprise at the sudden question. He looks young and has big eyes. He looks very timid and naive. After blinking his eyes for a while, he bows again to see if this atmosphere is awkward.

'Ho-chul...... Kim Ho-chul.'

He recited his name quietly, and at that moment the old man's laughter rang out in the room. Unconsciously, when I turned my head, a child who was peeping at us from afar ran here and sat on the old man's legs. After all, did he fall for the temptation of snacks? A child who sits like a squirrel and eats chocolate little by little. The old man looks at such a child as if he were his granddaughter and smiles happily.

'Delicious? Huh, you look like a baby now.’

No, the child seemed to be starving to a man who was not food. It's as if you're sharing a person's body temperature, and you're complaining about the wounds you've had. The child was glimmering with a smile on his face to an old man whom he saw for the first time today. No one saw the world as pure as a child. Though mischievous, they seem to have instinctively felt an old man with a good heart.

It's a good sight to see. He was such a good old man that the hard atmosphere quickly melted away. But you shouldn't forget what you have to do. I called once again the man with a blank look on his face, reminding him of the original purpose of coming here. Yeah, did you say Kim Ji-young? I wanted to know more about her and the situation in the apartment complex.

The man let go of his throat with a few coughs, then hurriedly got up and closed the front door and the veranda door. Behavior that looks almost obsessive. The man darkened the room, perhaps not enough for it, even for a combination of curtains. I took out a flashlight quietly without stopping such a man and lit the middle of the room. Now, I'm tired of waiting. I ate my lips as if I were asked to speak.

Then he continued, sighing.

* * *

The curtains open and the old feelings in the house spread out.

The whole story was over, and over an hour passed. It was a story that would be over in about 10 minutes, but it took a long time because so many men burst into emotion and tears. But I listened to and sympathized with all those useless complaints. This man... ...my mouth became bitterly bitter as it seemed to see me living in a goshiwon.

The apartment complex was also said to have been an ideal place for everyone to cooperate at first. Share if you lack food, and borrow each other's body temperature when it's cold. It was a short but happy time, and the survivors were said to have hoped that rescue would come soon if they were holding out well. But the reality was not a place like a fairy tale.

This small society, where small happiness and hope were maintained, slowly began to deteriorate in the face of the headwind of reality. Slowly initiated inflow of external personnel. People in the early, nice apartment complex accepted them without any worries. However, no matter how much clean water there is, a pile of trash that comes in from outside makes the water become a water bath. And this ideal society was the same.

The influx of outside personnel led to the formation of factions at some point, and people began to fight for their own advantage. To make matters worse, the liquor that came into the unknown route left people impoverished and completely turned a blind eye to the path of hope. Fight and despair, and the dirty desires that bloom in the midst of it. And at the center is Kim Ji-young. There was the woman.

No one knows where Kim Ji-young came from, what she did or whether she was a woman." Kim Ji-young is a mysterious woman who doesn't even know her real name. But the woman's kwon-mo-sul-sul-su was by no means ordinary. The alcohol and similar drugs brought in by the woman made people slaves of desire, and later began to touch on usury and prostitution using food. People's lives were becoming more and more impoverished, and the apartment complex was changing into what it is now.

However, the residents of the apartment were not idiots who just put up with it. It is said that the fire, which had been held back, eventually exploded due to some kind of incident, and that all the residents gathered and headed for Kim Ji-young. However, the men who appeared out of nowhere resorted to indiscriminate violence against the vocalists, and eventually the people who succumbed to the violence turned into what they are now.

According to Kim Ho-chul, the men who assaulted the residents that day were those who came from outside and formed factions. Yes, they were all accomplices like Kim Ji-young, who thought they just stayed still. The residents of the apartment, who had accepted the poor people without any trouble, were driven out of their nests like baby birds driven by cuckoos.

'I didn't know it was gonna be such a mess.

The old man murmured quietly, covering the sleeping child with a blanket. The old man's mouth had a ridiculous laugh, and my mouth had a similar sense of despondency. It was completely different from the information I saw on paper. Listening to the vivid testimonies, I could finally see that the landscapes I had seen were like ashes leaving nothing behind. Here, this was a garbage area where the situation was already over.

'We'll just take care of the people we'll take and run.'

The old man rose from his seat and said, As an old man who uses direct speech, he is also outspoken. But I didn't mean to oppose it because my thoughts were similar to that. What? Hunting mutants? For who's good? All human waste must be eaten by strains. I woke up with a gun, and Kim Ho-cheol, who was listening to the conversation next to it, told me.

'......do you take people like us? Why?'

When he cleared everything out, I already told him the nature of the mission. our original purpose It is to rescue the people who want to get out. However, now that the situation has changed like this, I intend to take out all the residents of the damaged apartment. That's what the group leader wants, and that's a reassuring decision for me. But Kim Ho-chul asked us with a face, 'Why?'

In our conversation, the child woke up with his eyes open. And he looks at us with his dirty fingers in his mouth. I thought carefully about Kim Ho-cheol's question while facing the pupil for a moment. It was not an appeal but a pure question. Why are you taking them?'I'm going to have to face that pathetic question....... I couldn't say anything. Kim Ho-chul mumbles as he wipes his hands on the pants.

I... I don't have anything, I don't know how to do it. Then why are you taking me?’

I remembered the story of an ant that an old man told me when I entered a well-being mart. Suddenly, the old man's face came to mind on the sea of memories, and as if he were right in front of his eyes, the words he said at that time flashed through his ears. Some ants cannot move stones because of their weak jaws, while others cannot fight because of their small bodies. But they maintain their groups and live in cooperation with each other as if it were natural. Yes, as if we were living by filling in each other's shortcomings.

'It's all right.'

'What?'

Kim Ho-chul replied, "I didn't hear you well." But I stroked the child's head as he walked silently and looked up at me with blank eyes. Tangled hair and dirty clothes. And there was a fine tear mark on the face full of fine water. He had no expression on his face. But the child might have cried secretly at night.

'Everything's fine, so don't worry.

This is what I want to say to Kim Ho-chul, Ai, and everyone. 'It's all right now, so don't worry.' All I could say was this word that I always had on my lips. Not to be hypocritical, not to deceive my mind again. I licked my dry lips saying that again today.

The room was full of silence for a while, and no one opened his mouth. But at that moment the sound of breaking silence began to come from outside beyond the veranda.

‘!’

It's a man's cry. Judging from what many people are saying, a small division must have occurred while we were away. Kim Ho-chul, who was enchanted, was startled and flustered, and the child ran behind the old man and hid. And the old man held his gun, stiffening his face to the sudden cry, and, like the old man, with the gun, I rushed to the veranda and looked out.

Looking out, I could see that our party was confronting the first group. Detective Kang screamed unparalleledly, and the frightened dragon-pal stood at the very front and stared at them. It's a big deal. The other side was holding a weapon that looked like a flying stick. No matter how many combat experiences they are in, there could have been casualties if there was a difficult battle at a close distance.

It was a touch-and-go situation where everyone was taking out their weapons, and I decided to move my body first rather than think. The rifle was quickly handed over to the old man in the way of movement. Then he took his pistol out of the holder and jumped over the veranda to the first floor without hesitation.

Jumped from the second floor, I came down to the floor with countless practices. Behind me came the old man's hurried call and the nagging of why he jumped out of here.

Brother!

All eyes were on me. Yongpal erased his fierce glaring eyes and called me, and all the party members finally relieved themselves with a look of relief. But the group over there still showed a menacing attitude and swore at me.

"What a bunch of shitty junk......... What the hell are you!'

Tack, tap, tap. Tack.

A total of three flames spread from the pistol I pulled out. The goal is not the air, but the floor they are stepping on. The bullet-filled floor bursts concrete with snow and makes a threatening sound. The man who used abusive language instinctively backpedaled on a flying bullet and then hit his buttocks. The reaction of the crowds around it was no different.

"Mi, crazy...". . . . .'

You wouldn't have expected to shoot. I'm sure there's never been a single madman like this to himself. But I had to let these guys know today. I'm a madman who can do anything. The cold wind sweeps through us as the gun of gunpowder is put back into the holder.