I'm still alive

With the sound of a shell cutting through the atmosphere, I lie on the floor like falling. Then the grass on the right bursts and the smell of acrid gunpowder pierces the tip of the nose. Flags spreading everywhere and fires of hell fluttering like the tongue of a snake. I hurriedly wiped the blood and dirt off my face with my sleeves, spewing a coarse cough mixed with saliva on the floor. Then, with a gun, he approaches the cover to find the Park Dae-bak and his flock, which were scattered desperately due to the Gear shelling.

And when I reached the side of the cloak, I was able to find a group of Park Dae-bak, who was breathing heavily behind rocks and trees, and a group of wounds that managed to survive. But even that was more than half dead, and only three people, including Park Dae-bak, were left.

The bodies that may be anywhere, their grim faces that they said to leave behind when they die, pass before their eyes. However, the heartless reality is that even a short breakup is buried in the mud. I rose from my seat, swallowing dry grief, and soon pulled up their arms and necks, which had fallen.

Once again, I gave my whole body a shout of scream from my mouth, and at the same time, blood trickled down from my thigh. The blood that bursts out like squeezing a sponge full of water causes extreme pain by wetting the perforated muscles and bandages.

The pain weighing on the whole body and the sickle of a dead body, which is on the verge of death, sparkles in front of one's eyes, setting a sharp edge. As my eyes began to turn white, the muddy floor with soil and blood pulled down my feet and whole body. But I begin to walk one step, one step ahead, throwing up even the source of my soul.

The forest is on fire, and at the same time I myself am starting to ignite. Not beautiful, but fleeting with dirt. But the flame was burning to the end, looking at the stars seen in the night sky. He holds Park Dae-bak on his right shoulder, and holds the arms of his party with both hands.

Every time I moved, my heavy body screamed like a thunderbolt, but I clenched my teeth and walked them toward the rear. At the same time, the screams of the crew and the voice of the old man, who had been unable to rest, were heard from the radio set on the island.

[They're gonna come in first from over there when they're done!] We have to get out of here before that, so don't think about fighting and get out! Park Dae-bak and the kids, please!]

I didn't have the power to answer, so I had to replace the response with a harsh breath. Now Team B has taken Eden's people outside. Of course, the radio and firearms were all put down, including evidence that we had come out of the blockade, and lost contact, but I had no doubt that the trusted Yong-pal brothers and our rescue team would have led the people out safely.

However, the biggest problem that needs to be solved right now was whether or not Team A, who is going through the worst situation, is alive or not. Team A has already died more than half, and most of the survivors have been injured, both large and small. Yes, it's something we've been waiting for since we came into the limb, but Team A is about to annihilate.

The mortar fire, which has been continuing for a while, turns the grass into a flame-infested hell. The soldiers who were chasing us earlier have already escaped the shelling and have long escaped, and they are constantly firing on us, whether they intend to annihilate us or not.

Yes, perhaps after this shelling, as the old man said, the soldiers ordered by their superiors will chase us. The worst-case scenario, a cliff that can't even be seen with a single log bridge, is lurking in front of me.

And at that moment the flames burst beside me.

Boom!!!

How can I save it? How do we get them out of here? The anguish and thoughts that filled my head are all blown away by the light that burst beside me. I was pushed into the air by a powerless explosion, and in a situation where I can't even tell if it's blood or rainwater that flows down on my skin, I crash into the mud and trees lousyly.

Kkak!

There is a terrible pain in the back, and the sound of crushing oneself on the floor resonates. I couldn't stand the terrible pain and uttered a single word. And as my senses disappeared, my white eyes began to turn dark as if they were black. The trembling fingertips, floundering arms and legs. I feel that the filament that was holding my mind was snapped.

“ .”

"Ah......."

The tinnitus rings and the whole body is weak. His eyes were not open, and the sound of the explosion that was ringing around him was no longer heard. What's the situation? Is the Park Dae-bak and the people I've been dragging in safe? I'm not sure if the old man, who was radioing me to come quickly, is all right.

The face of a dragon-pal who cried and blew. Oh, I think Su-ryeon and Chae-yeon might be crying. Everything worries me and everything hurts. The pressure and pain that have weighed down on me bothers the weak soul until the moment I die. I can't scream.

"Ah."

The endless questions that stimulated my nerves hit my head and mind, scolding me to get up and look at the situation. However, the body, which eventually reached its limit, began to cool down like a candle leaving only a small stream of smoke.

It seemed to be dying. This pain and anguish is finally over, and I am going to find peace that I have wanted so much. Death, darkness. I quietly feel a sense of well-being, as weightless as a grain of sand falling into that endless abyss. And by the time I completely forget the touch of rainwater falling on my face, I crouch in the darkness that seems impossible to wake up, forgetting everything.

It was so hard. I've been so sick. I had to kill someone I didn't want to kill, and I always had to walk endlessly through tunnels that I couldn't escape. To be chased and run away. I wait for the day to kill, to die, and die. When will this pain end? When can I put my luggage down on my shoulders?

Cold, I was too cold in the middle of this gray city. Walking barefoot on the snowfield made by blood, I am judged on my own sins. Blood is pooled beneath my feet as much as the blood on my hands. I was only a normal human being, but I already saw hell in the distance and ended up becoming a monster like them.

I feel keenly that I am not great, and that I was not Superman in the picture. So small, so insignificant in this big city. I feel a spirit that curls up like a baby in the waves of reality.

*

“ .”

And at that moment, something burning and cold forms on the nose. It wasn't the rainwater that was falling madly, nor was it the mud that was strangling us and resembling the desolation. The coolness of spreading peppermint candy in my mouth was different from the cold I kept. The sound of my heart that I couldn't hear before is slowly ringing.

'Dongyoon.'

I heard someone affectionately calling me out of my ears, where only rough noise and tinnitus should be heard. The voice was not that of Park Dae-bak, who I dragged all the way here, nor was it the voice of an old man who was urgently calling my name over the radio. It was a voice that I hadn't forgotten, but forgot for a moment. The voice that I never forgot, and that I had nailed in my heart, came at the last moment and came to me again.

'I was wondering where our youngest was, and he was down here for a moment.’

When I opened my eyes, the forest, which was overflowing with rain and flames, was gone. And the pain and hell I went through were all nightmares, with white snow falling pretty in the sky. A snow field unfolds in front of your eyes, with no one stepping on it through a hazy view.

It's not dull gray and not heartless color. The snow falling from the sky was really pretty, with a childlike innocence. And the unfamiliar feeling that I feel after a long time mixed with white snow falls on my face.

I caught my trembling eyes and chased away the voice I had missed so much. And between the hazy, hazy views, the blinding light of dawn had a gentle smile. It was a warm breath that melted the frozen frost, and a great dawn that drove out the darkness that ruled all the world. My body slowly warms up as it was getting cold in the mud.

And where the gaze came after my voice, my brother, who was not old at all, was looking at me, taking off his fire hat. Friendly smiling face, funny mouth corners like a mischievous smile. Wearing fire gloves that were always stitched and a fire hat full of dirt, the older brother was turning his back on Dawn with a look that was not much different from the last time he saw her.

I couldn't stand the blackness of the dawn and brother's heart, even with my eyes closed. His mouth barely opens, blurring the name he wanted to call.

"Brother... ...I...….”

'Yes, I know. You've worked so hard.’

A thick warm hand gently rises above my head. And my brother slowly put his fire hat down on the snow and nodded as if he knew everything. Good work, that short words of consolation from my brother desperately represented my pain and my broken heart.

ah ah

From the heart, the blackness of the heart came down like snow in the sky and began to moisten the whole body. And the essence of sorrow, which flowed beside the eye, flowed slowly along the cheeks stained with mud, and soon washed down my hands and body, which had been stained with blood and fear, like waves.

Beep Beep.

burst into tears like a child In the mouth and eyes, the sorrow and tears that I endured and endured constantly flow down unfiltered. Me, it was hard. I was so sick. I clenched my teeth every time I got hurt, and I have endured every time I hurt myself. It's all right, I'm not sick. I've always said that, but I was only falling apart on my own.

After repeatedly bumping and breaking, splitting and falling, we have now arrived here. The rough currents that wielded my life, the waves of the old road that constantly tested me, reached the calm lake only after I could see the forest of the snowfield at the end.

Have I been doing well? Was my life this painful really meaningful? I could confirm the question and the end of my life only after I arrived here. The pain goes away. All the lice whispered in my ear changed to the calm sound of the wind blowing.

'Dongyoon, take your time.'

The curtain of tears covers the eyes like a curtain. And the gentle breeze that passed through the face conveyed to me the last voice of my brother. In response to the remark, he managed to remove the curtain, and Dawn, who was frosty between the clouds and snow fields, began to hide his brother's appearance.

My brother walks over and over, stepping on the snow that no one has stepped on. I reached out my hand. No, I sang quietly to my brother, expressing regret that I couldn't let go.

"Come with me, brother."

It was a past that couldn't be undressed like skin. It was a pain of regret. But my brother finally came to me and washed away the blood and mud that had been stuck to me. My whole body is tired. Arriving after a long journey, I wanted to stop taking a rest now. But the older brother, who stopped walking in my voice for a moment, raises the corners of his mouth with his fire hat pressed down. White teeth and laughter as white as the snowflakes that stretch out ahead. My brother told me for the last time.

'Wake up, there's someone waiting.’

The voice turned into a flash of lightning through my body. The thrill that started from the tip of your toes flows through the blood vessels all over your body. The dying mind and body responded to the harsh sound of the heart, and soon after the lightning, thunder strikes. My eyes glisten. I face a lantern passing by like a typhoon. And the space that was formed here was swept away by the storm and began to make snowstorms. And the elder brother, smiling at me to the end, slowly disappears into the snowstorm.

You woke me up in the sewers that day, right? I couldn't forget it. And you woke me up the same way this time. And I couldn't finish that recitation. The one waiting, I'm the one waiting. The sentence hovers around my head and grabs my heart that I wanted to give up. And I closed my eyes to forget the last shadow I could see in the blowing snowstorm.