Episode 74 – There’s No Way I Can Protect Her

When I ran away from her, I left through the school gate and went home quickly.

However, I am at a loss because I would run to my step sister when I get back home, and I can’t help it.

I have no choice but to make a detour to the river that exists between the high school and my home. Of course, there was nothing there.

I was just killing time. But I didn’t want to see anyone right now.

Sitting down on the riverbank, I looked through my bag.

It was to take out something that I had put in a small pocket of my bag…….

It was something unfit for a man like me to have…..a hair clip.

When I took it out, this thing was already a useless product because my childhood friend had already cut my hair,  and I laid down on the riverbank and stared at it…

“……Haha, nothing has changed since then.”

While looking at the hair clip, I mocked myself, remembering who I am now and what I was like before I met her.

…….I wonder why now I remembered someone I had given up on.

I remembered her words in my memory that came out unexpectedly regarding idol sama.

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[Does that have anything to do with you? Even I have the right to choose people…I don’t want someone who doesn’t know anything, to step in ! !]

These were the words from a girl who came into the same cram school when i was in middle school.

The girl who suddenly appeared in front of me, speaking in Kansai dialect, and she was a little different from the other girls around her.

I still remember that I had the impression that she was a plain and strange girl with long hair that covered her eyes with plain glasses.

However, we became friends by chance, and she naturally began to help me with my studies, and the time we spent talking often was an important time for me.

One day, a group of boys and girls who went to the same cram school sat in front of me and were whispering to each other.

Normally, I would have ignored the conversation and kept to my own world, but today was different.

The girl sits next to me as usual.

I’m afraid that it would lead to me having contact with them.

In a good way and in a bad way…….

If it turns out to be a good thing, I’ll be happy, but I’m just a gloomy person after all. It’s not going to work out that way.

…….I hope she won’t be harmed.

I was not worried about it even though she was teaching me how to study. But what I feared came true.

The leader of the group, who usually didn’t talk to us, suddenly turned around and said

“Hey, you. Why don’t you talk to us instead of dealing with that gloomy person?”

“That’s right ! !” The leader of the group, who was smiling wryly, and the girls who were in agreement with him, approached the girl who was sitting next to me.

I glanced at her, who was thrown at such words.

That’s right……. Of course it’s more fun to talk with people like them who can have a casual conversation. You shouldn’t get along with a gloomy person like me….

But she’s completely unfazed by it and just silently prepared for the next lesson.

“Oi, why are you ignoring me?”

“………”

The man who’s ignored by her showed a sulky attitude, but even she ignored that.

“Damn……, ignoring me huh? Do you really like this gloomy person that much?”

The guy who was ignored felt embarrassed, glanced at me, and cursed.

“Are you two dating perhaps?”

“Eh, isn’t that impossible? If it was me, I wouldn’t want this ugly guy.”

“Right ! !”

As if to help the man’s displeased attitude, his cronies start saying outrageous things.

Of course that’s not true, but I feel bad for her when such rumors are spread.

I guess they’re right, it’s wrong to hang out with a gloomy person like me……

Averting my eyes from her, I turned my face down.

However, putting aside my self-deprecating self,, I heard…..a rattling  sound.

Startled by that sound, I turned my head toward it.

To my surprise, it was the girl who’s sitting next to me.

“Does that have anything to do with you? Even I have the right to choose people…I don’t want someone who doesn’t know anything, to step in ! !”

Without changing her expression, she snapped at the group sitting in front of her in a strong tone of voice.

The group was startled by her words, stared at her silently.

“Rather than chatting with people like you who have no goals and are just talking casually, it would be better for me to talk to people who are seriously working on something with a purpose ! !”

Her voice echoes in a cram school classroom.

Of course, it’s only natural that all eyes are on her, but regardless of that, she continues.

“No matter who I hang out with, it’s none of your business ! ! Don’t interrupt me with your petty suspicions ! !”

As she said this, she noticed that the attention of the people around her had gathered on her, and she quickly sat down.

The people in the group, perhaps intimidated by her, turn their heads forward, saying [Such a gloomy person….].

I glanced at her as she sat down.

Her ears were bright red, indicating her embarrassment.

She says, 

“……Sorry.”

“Eh, ah, don’t worry about it. I was only saying what I was thinking ! !”

I apologized to her but she told  me she’s fine with her bright red face.

Unlike me who stayed silent without saying anything, seeing her who can clearly say what she’s thinking makes me feel ashamed of myself.

Probably after tomorrow, this school will be full of rumors about us……

At that point, I’m not able to protect her. In fact, I may become nothing more than a person who is protected by her……

“What’s wrong? The class is about to start ! !”

The cram school teacher entered the classroom, which was buzzing with our conversation, and the class began.

As a result, the class’s attention shifts to the lesson.

But the noise in the classroom didn’t stop.

While attending class, I glanced at her.

With her long hair and oversized glasses in view, I made up my mind.

I decided that I would be strong enough to protect her.

But the next time I went to cram school, she didn’t show up.

That day, I waited impatiently next to the seat where I sat alone, but she didn’t show up.

“I knew it, maybe she disliked a gloomy person?”

Someone… whispered.

That’s no wonder….., she must’ve gotten fed up with me who couldn’t do anything.

After that, she never came to cram school,……, and I gave up on her.

It wasn’t that I liked her or hated her, it was that…..she was the first person I wanted to be next beside me…..