Immortality Starts With Generosity

Apparently, weddings in this new world were done in red instead of white. The wedding robes were a vibrant scarlet and he rubbed the soft material thin between his fingers as he was dressed by a team of maids. Mr. Goatee sat in the corner, dictating hushed orders to messengers who occasionally ran in.

“Maybe I shouldn’t get married. One woman isn’t enough for me now that I think about it,” he said.

Mr. Goatee didn’t even look up from the papers he was handed before responding, “You know that won’t be a problem Young Master. Please stop joking.”

He wondered if Mr. Goatee would consider it joking if he yanked out that sorry excuse of a beard. Before he could go any further with his fantasy the maids stepped away, finished. A glance at his askew mirror told him that he looked really good in red, shame he could only see blood in it.

Mr. Goatee approached and handed over the papers in his hands. “Young Master, Lady Lan has sent over the money as well as some requests.”

The hell? He knew that marriage in ancient times could be rather transactional so he wasn’t surprised that this world did it similarly. Still, the marriage hadn’t even happened yet and they were already asking for things? He took a look at the list and felt his eyes pop.

That… was a big number. He wasn’t exactly sure how much it was but given that currency here seemed to be in silver he could guess at the value. He was already dreading the Lan Family’s demands and with this much money involved, there’s no way they’d let him hide. The next paper only had a few words.

‘Make her miserable.’

Oh. Did he transmigrate into the bad guy?

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Time seemed to fly as he was led into a carriage drawn by four brown horses festooned with red and gold streamers and surrounded by a procession of performers and singers carrying banners and shouting blessings. Their acting drowned out whatever noise came from the city, but from what he saw peeking out the carriage they were drawing a crowd.

The shrine they took him to wasn’t very large, but it looked old and was filled to the brim with people wearing colorful clothes. From what he could gather it was the Lan family organizing this whole event, most of the people here were probably invited by them, too. At least he hoped so. The fewer people he’d have to talk to the better.

The guests quickly spread out as a red carpet was rolled out to the carriage. Mr. Goatee who’d been riding separately quickly opened the doors for him to step onto the red carpet of death.

Connection: Negative

Connection: Negative

Connection: Negative

The crowd was surprisingly… muted. There were blessings and greetings as he walked down to the altar, but it seemed more like they were watching some sort of show than observing a wedding.

“…how tragic.”

“…poor Lan Fen.”

“..offend…Lan.”

He could barely make out some of the hushed whisperings and none of it sounded good. For the bride at least. For him, the more of a sham this was meant the more he could get away with and hopefully not expose himself.

Not long after he reached the foot of the altar and was greeted by the priest did another commotion happen at the entrance.

The first thing he noticed about the group that appeared was that their hair was white. Not with age though, some of them didn’t look to be much older than himself after all. Dressed in reds and blues they carried themselves prominently and surrounded a figure in the center.

She was wearing a red dress just as fancy as his robes. Her white hair was done up in an elaborate bun with a golden net of red jewels weaved through it. She walked with her head held high and ignored everyone surrounding her. At least it felt that way to him, her face was hidden by a white veil that clashed with the rest of her outfit, and judging by the scandalized gasps of the crowd there was some deeper meaning to it that he wasn’t aware of but was probably fucked.

When she arrived at the altar she stared straight ahead, giving no indication that she saw him at all. Even if he didn’t suspect anything before this her attitude made it clear that this was not a happy occasion.

Connection: Negative

Well, that was obvious.

One of the girls accompanying the bride-to-be clasped her hands and bowed towards him and said, “Many blessings to Brother Chen and Sister Fen on your union!” Brother Chen? Was that his name? He finally had something to work with at least. Although Chen dearly hoped that she wasn’t being literal when she called him brother. They didn’t look alike, but what did he know about genetics in this place?

Regardless, her voice had been loud, and soon enough more well wishes came from her companions and the guests. His bride, Lan Fen apparently, was as solid as the shrine's statues and he could practically feel his awkward silence meter rocket up to Hostile.

“Thanks,” he said halfheartedly. Talking too much was bad, not talking at all was worse. Lan Fen’s relative seemed satisfied with it though, bowing slightly lower to him before viciously smirking at Lan Fen.

“Although she’s no longer a Qi realm of the Ninth Layer Sister Fen is still a valued member of our family, please take good care of her Brother Chen.” Oh good that sounded like a power system. It also sounded like her family had a hit out on Lan Fen and he was meant to be the cleaner, not good. At this point, Lan Fen reacted, it was just a subtle tightening of her shoulders but it was enough for the vicious girl to leave with a self-satisfied smile.

Suspect number 1 confirmed then; she can be Lan Bitch.

Connection: Negative

What followed was the most awkward three hours of Chen’s life. Lan Fen easily followed along with the priest and was quick and precise in her actions, he on the other hand couldn’t even tell someone the steps of a normal Earth marriage let alone a different world. Bowing to the priest then the bride and groom bow to each other and light incense. Then they hold a sash of red silk together and walk in circles around a bowl of rice wine, periodically stopping to recite long-winded vows to the priest. Needless to say, he needed prompting for every single thing, and while the priest was incredibly patient the crowd tittered at every flub. Even his proud bride seemed to wilt as it wore on.

His face was hot with embarrassment but luckily it seemed almost expected that he’d mess this up. At the very least the Lan family wasn’t dragging him down and beating him for humiliating their daughter. Lan Bitch, who he suspected had a role in this farce, was even quietly laughing to herself.

Eventually, under the coaching of the priest, Chen finished his vows. The priest took the sake cup and held it to Lan Fen’s mouth. He couldn’t see her face from the way she lifted her veil to drink and the priest eventually passed the cup to him.

“Just so we’re clear: After I drink this we’re done correct?” he said.

“Although I believe there is a later celebration planned; the ceremony itself will be finished, yes,” said the priest.

“Good.”

Chen grabbed the sake cup from the priest and downed it in one go. He dropped the cup and Lan Fen and the priest flinched as it shattered. Chen basked in the ensuing silence as he looked at the guests and memorized the shocked faces of the Lan family present.

Even better.

“We’re done here,” Chen said.

That was enough embarrassment for one day.