Imperfect D_e_s_i_r_es

"Chen Xiu was never selfish," said Xiu with a sad smile hanging on her lips. "Bai Xiu is selfish. I can crush anyone for my happiness. I can snatch anything and anyone as long as I want it. But Chen Xiu could never do it." She sighed out, "I am Chen Xiu and I am Bai Xiu. But Bai Xiu is like Chen Xiu's alter ego. She is what Chen Xiu could never be and never dared to be."

With his jaw clenched, he contemplated her words. She was right. He hated Chen Xiu for never fighting for herself. But she wasn't like that now. And he had seen the proof of that on the wedding. Now, she'd never let anyone take what's hers. Even if it's just her dignity! 

To be honest, he actually felt relaxed and content to see that. 

Silence once again shrouded the room where they stood facing each other. Both had tears staining their faces. Both their eyes were red from crying. Both had mixed emotions surging within. Both had a million things to say and yet no words to say it.

After Han Bohai got over his pent-up emotions, he finally felt at ease. He sat down with Xiu but said nothing. He was still just observing her expressions. The face before his eyes really had no resemblance with the one in his memories. Even the demeanor of the person before him had changed a lot. And yet, his heart firmly believed that she was his Chen Xiu. That familiarity between them could never be mistaken.

Taking her hand in his own, he said, "You're still hiding something from me." Xiu pursed her lips as he went on, "I believe you when you said you felt tired. I also believe you when you said you wanted to set yourself free. But I'm not willing to believe that just public opinion or scandals were able to crumble your willpower. My Sister Xiu might be innocent who believed in kindness, but she was a very rational person. A person like her chose to commit suicide just because something didn't go right in her life? That's utter bullshit and I never believed in it!"

Xiu rubbed her face making it red like a tomato before she said, "Some people and some things caught me off-guard. I couldn't process it all well and lost control of my emotions."

"What happened?" Han Bohai urged her to tell him the truth. He wanted to hear about all of the things that happened back then. He wanted to know all of what he never got to know. And he wanted to know all about it from her!

Xiu exhaled a long breath before she placed all the cards before him. From the incident of her meds getting swapped to how she got framed for a murder to how she got kidnapped that finally broke her entirely. 

Han Bohai's fists were clenched tightly, his eyes were fuming. He really wanted to run someone down. He couldn't help it. He knew she was struggling back then but he never realized just how vulnerable those people made her be and what kind of inhumane way they used to shatter her will to live. A person who was suffering from severe depression became a pawn in the hands of jealous and scheming bitches!

He slammed his hand on the coffee table before him. He had used quite a force and it created quite some noise as well. Xiu held his hand in concern. Although there was no cut, his whole hand was red from the hit. 

"Have you lost your mind?" she rebuked him. "Why are you venting your anger on lifeless things? That's only gonna hurt yourself, how is that satisfying?"

Han Bohai looked at her concerned look and it prickled his heart just as much as he felt warmth. 

"Why didn't tell me all of this back then?" questioned Han Bohai in a soft voice.

Xiu sighed out, "I could hardly think straight at that time. How was I supposed to tell you? Wouldn't that just make the matters worse?" She took a pause and stared into his eyes, "I couldn't fight for myself back then because I genuinely felt like I did something wrong. My mind was so messed up that I did believe myself to be a criminal. And I felt disgusted with myself. But none of that matters to me now. I'm at the point in life where nothing can ever challenge me again. This time, I have the courage to fight for myself. And I'll do it. Whether it's a fight for Bai Xiu or the one for Chen Xiu's dignity, I'll fight each battle on my own. It had always been my battle. Only, I can win it!"

Han Bohai's lips finally curved up ever so slightly as he asked, "The big show that everyone's been talking about today... You did it?"

Xiu already knew he was referring to Liu Nuan. She appeared on national tv, it'd be a shocker if Han Bohai didn't hear about it. In fact, if it just involved Liu Nuan, he wouldn't have spared a single glance towards this matter but when he learned that it involved his Sister Xiu, he couldn't possibly sit still.

Xiu gave him a smirk, "Let's say it's half and half." He raised his brow inquisitively as she went on, "What I mean is, I just started the fire. The one who led it towards total destruction is someone else."

"But that someone else is still close to you," stated Han Bohai. He sounded certain of himself.

Xiu shrugged her shoulders saying, "He is close but he had his own bone to pick with her. You can't entirely make me carry this pot." Waiting for a few seconds, her gaze changed as she added, "Actually, you let these messy matters aside. I'm more curious to know how did you figure out my identity? I don't think my acting can slip up. I might have stopped appearing before the camera, I haven't lost my talent."