Incurable Pain

Bai Xunyin never fails to hear his'boyfriend' voice.

The cold wind in the twelfth lunar month of New Year's Eve was wet and cold, and could not be blocked by wearing a thick cotton coat, especially in the ventilated corridors, blowing gently over the biting cold.

Bai Xunyin's stiff brain nerves were also agitated by the cold wind, and he realized where he was now and what he heard.

For a moment, she turned around and covered Amo's mouth with swift hands and eyes.

The latter was already furious, and a pair of big eyes that didn't dare to make big expressions for fear of wrinkles were almost out of their eye sockets at this moment, and there was nothing like a bright girl full of vitality in the usual days-they were full of fright and anger.

After all, she also heard what Yu Luoyin was talking about, the bullshit.

Amo, don't...Bai Xunyin looked at her and begged silently: Don't be like this, please.

She didn't want to be found out loud at this time, she didn't want to be so embarrassed.

The girl's Liuli-like eyes were full of shaky brokenness, and even the cold fingers covering Amo's face were shaking slightly.

Countless thoughts flashed back in Bai Xunyin's mind—

‘What is Yu Luoyin talking about? Why can't I understand it by myself? ’

‘He’s kidding, right? That bet... is it about yourself? Does he treat his feelings as a bet? ’

‘Then what’s this period of time? ’

…

All inexplicable approaches have been explained, all because of a whim.

Therefore, all the sweetness and tenderness in the past few months are all wrong and fake. They are all her one-man dramas...Yu Luoyin is sober from beginning to end, so what exactly did he use? How do you look at yourself with such a look and attitude?

Would he find himself ridiculous and extremely stupid, and would he be triumphant because he liked him and took the initiative to kiss him?

Or after sending her home again, she turned around and replaced it with an unknown skin, and said to others: Look, how stupid is that little dumb? I was deceived in the palm of my hand, and I was deceived round and round.

Oh, she is indeed stupid.

Bai Xunyin discovered that he had never known Yu Luoyin thoroughly.

The proud son of heaven, the school grass, the tyrant, gentle and undisciplined, seemingly lazy and careless under the handsome appearance... what kind of heart is it, has she ever understood?

For this boy, she thought too simple.

Bai Xunyin suddenly felt extreme panic.

She didn't know how she pulled the dilapidated teaching building in the playground after Amo silently left, as if the soul had been drained, leaving only a muddy empty shell.

Nothing, nothing, she just heard the truth, but she was awake from the utopia like a girl’s dream, nothing...

Bai Xunyin kept repeating to herself in her mind, feeling that she was behaving normally—until she saw Amo crying.

Tears burst into those big eyes, and Amora held her with a trembling voice: "Yinyin, you are scary like this, can you type a word with me?"

Bai Xunyin was startled slightly.

very scary? Where is she scary?

It was Amo who was too exaggerated, but she was thinking too much, and she was not scary. Bai Xunyin smiled slightly, not knowing that his smile was worse than crying.

[Amo. Bai Xunyin took out the phone and sent her a message: [Don't tell me about this. ]

[I want to solve it myself. ]

Senior three students have a week off for rest and New Year.

She wanted to use this week to calm her mood and cooperate with Yu Luoyin in acting.

Bai Xunyin now knew exactly why Yu Luoyin approached her, and what he thought of her. So now it's her turn to see how Yu Luoyin'acts'.

Or maybe it is possible that after Yu Luoyin said that, he didn't want to continue acting.

So... when will he come over and talk about breaking up?

Bai Xunyin's brain is almost empty, and he walks home unconsciously. This is the problem in his mind.

She was wearing a dark gray wool coat, her slender and white fingers were exposed and flushed with cold. When she came home and knocked on the door, Ji Huiying who came to open the door for her was taken aback for a moment—

"Yinyin, what's the matter?" She hurriedly greeted people in, looked at Bai Xunyin and asked softly: "Why did you lose your soul? Because of the exam results?"

…

Bai Xunyin couldn't help but want to laugh a little, because she thought she was good, and it turned out that Ji Huiying could tell something was wrong at a glance.

No, the exam results are pretty good.

Mom, I feel uncomfortable because of other things.

I can't say what I want to say, this voice seems like I can never say what I want to say, complaining, happiness, joy, sadness... She can only hold back forever.

Bai Xunyin's eyes held back the soreness, and after a long while, he still didn't express anything-he just took out the transcript and handed it to Ji Huiying.

Then in Ji Huiying's stunned gaze, Bai Xunyin turned and returned to the room.

Back in her tightly sealed private space, a clear crack finally appeared on her frozen face.

Can't stand it, really can't stand it.

Bai Xunyin's slender and red fingers were cold, and slowly blocked her face. She squatted down slowly against the door behind her, shrinking into a small ball like a baby seeking protection from her mother. .

She buried her face in her knees, her shoulders shaking slightly.

Just like a skinny wounded, even Ping Ning is silent.

Until the cell phone dropped to the ground hummed, a small white face lifted from his knees, white sound-seeking glazed eyes looked down at the screen through a mist of fog, gradually clearing—

Yu Luoyin: [Did you go home by yourself? No one can be found at the school. ]

In the small room, there was a dead silence that could be heard from the needle drop. After a long while, Bai Xunyin's face was set off with a sneerful smile.

The water color at the corner of Peach Blossom's eyes has not faded, and it is almost as strange as a monster.

[Ok. ] She typed with stiff fingers, and responded as if she was out of her body: [Come back first. ]

Yu Luoyin's news came back quickly, as if complaining: [Why go so fast, can we still meet before the Chinese New Year? ]

Bai Xunyin replied word by word: [Maybe not, my mother wants to take me to my aunt's house. ]

In fact, because of her father’s illness, because of their family’s previous debts...Where can any relatives want to see them? It's just that she can't see Yu Luoyin, and when she sees him, she is afraid that she will be stretched.

[When? ] Yu Luoyin’s messages are sent one by one—

[Go for a few days, won’t you come back on New Year’s Eve? ]

[I'll go to your house to find you, the New Year gift hasn't been given to you yet. ]

[Don’t come here. ] Bai Xunyin quickly stopped.

The opposite seemed to be embarrassed, and no news came over for a while.

She stared mockingly at the WeChat dialogs of the two people, and now she feels that this is Yu Luoyin.

In the previous chat, if Yu Luoyin didn't reply to the news for a long time, Bai Xunyin would always feel that he had said something wrong, making a cold show, and then took the initiative to send another message.

She had never thought that Yu Luoyin might be trying to catch it.

Only oneself, like a fool, keep getting the bait.

But this time, she still took the initiative to send a message in the "cold field"—

[no need. ] Bai Xunyin smiled slightly: [You have already sent it. ]

The'gift' Yu Luoyin gave her is unforgettable.

It's a lesson, it's sober, it's something that you can't buy with money.

Bai Xunyin's mind uncontrollably recalled the past few months, even some small fragments when she and Yu Luoyin first met.

The thin back of the teenager helping her move the table in the rain.

Give her a casual smile of five hundred dollars in the amusement park.

Two people pretended to "make up lessons" in the library.

There are also evidence of "ambiguity" left in various places in the school.

…

It all looks like a joke now.

But she still feels **** tempted.

Bai Xunyin suddenly remembered the day of Christmas a month ago.

Because of the dumb and Sheng Churan's instigation, she was not well-known in the third middle school. When she was in high school, she was accompanied by Amo. When she was in high school, there was no lone friend around her.

It is said that the long and beautiful girl will be treated well in the crowd, but if the long and beautiful girl and the physical defect exist in one person at the same time, she is the object of everyone's bullying, especially when someone is guided.

Compassion is too extravagant, and it is not enough to share with others.

Bai Xunyin remembers that the school was closed for Christmas in the second year of high school. Everyone in the class was smiling and exchanging Christmas fruits, only she was an ‘outsider’.

She knew that no one would give her an apple, and no one would need her, so Bai Xunyin was not prepared at all, so she sat in the corner independently and kept her head down and made her own papers without hearing anything outside the window. .

But the principle that people don’t offend me and I don’t offend people doesn’t exist. There was no teacher in the class that day, and it was surprisingly ‘relaxed’.

Sheng Chulan walked to Bai Xunyin with a smile, his big eyes gleaming with evil and cunning light.

"Bai Xunyin, you are really lonely. You don't give apples to your classmates at Christmas." Sheng Churan smiled with two dimples, looked at her provocatively, and then slapped in Bai Xunyin's expressionless gaze. With a click, I patted the core of the fruit I just gnawed on her table—

"Here, I sent you off." Sheng Churan said like a'charity': "For your poor sake, a dumb."

…

For a whole year in high school, she reminded others all the time-Bai Xunyin was a dumb.

In fact, why bother? She didn't say it, she knew it.

Bai Xunyin smiled indifferently, hugged the core with a paper towel and threw it away, then lowered his head to continue learning, not seemingly caring.

It's just that since then, she has been a little repulsive about Christmas at school.

And on Christmas a month ago, there was still no holiday, and the whole class was still smiling and giving apples to each other.

The difference is that there are a bunch of them on the table in front of her.

"I don't know what kind of apples you like to eat." While no one noticed them in the noisy classroom, Yu Luoyin probed her back table and leaned into Bai Xunyin's ear and said softly: I bought it-do you like Ping An fruit?"

He bought all kinds of apples.

Bai Xunyin withdrew his stunned gaze and tilted his head slightly to see the handsome and creamy young boy Qingjun looking at her with his eyes slightly bent.

At that time, Bai Xunyin almost felt that Yu Luoyin had stars in his eyes. How could there be a boy who was so deceptive?

At that time, the liar looked at her and asked as if he was still very sad: "Why don't you prepare an apple for me? I've gotten so many for you."

Yu Luoyin didn't know that Christmas was a bad memory for Bai Xunyin.

He didn't even know that since this Christmas, she suddenly felt that this holiday was worth spending.

It's a pity... It's a pity that a liar is a liar, how could it be true?

Bai Xunyin withdrew from the memory, his clear eyes were a little dry and red.

She stood up, her legs were a little numb from the long squatting, and she almost staggered and slid, and she was able to hold the table next to her steady—the fingertips just hit the slippery, plastic-like thing. .

Looking sideways, it happened to be the colorful wrappers of Christmas fruits.

Apple can't be kept for that long, but she is reluctant to throw it away while packaging it.

The jokes are all jokes.

These things she cherishes most may be nothing more than ‘coax her to play’ in Yu Luoyin’s eyes.

Yu Luoyin may be the cruelest executioner in the world, and he knows how to make a girl desperate.

Bai Xunyin chuckled lightly, and reached out and swept these things into the trash can.

On New Year's Eve, Bai Xunyin spent his time at home.

During the whole vacation, she refused the invitation of everyone in Amo and stayed at home honestly, in the room... healed her injuries.

On New Year’s Eve, she helped Ji Huiying to cook a few dishes, and the cold and deserted house was pasted with Spring Festival couplets and the word "Fu", which barely had a few ‘New Year’ atmospheres.

"Yinyin, I feel that you have suffered a lot recently. Is it too much pressure for high school to study?" During the meal, Ji Huiying looked at Bai Xunyin's pale face with some worry, always feeling that since the holiday, her daughter has not Enjoying the holiday and taking a good rest, I feel even more tired.

Bai Xunyin smiled, shook his head at Ji Huiying, and then pointed to the location of the medicine box in the living room-indicating that he was just a little cold.

And has taken medicine.

Many "truths" wrapped in honey are often astringent and bitter when they are knocked open, enough to convey bitterness to the heart through the tip of the tongue.

But what about it? The thoughts in the minds of adolescence are often volatile and treacherous, and no one cares.

Heartache is not a pain that can be treated in the hospital, at best it is...a little bit of pain.

From the outside, it doesn't hurt or itchy.

It is said that 21 days is a process that can polish pain and form a habit, but Bai Xunyin only took three days to get used to it.

I'm used to the feeling of returning from the false light to the real obscurity, and I'm used to losing...pain that I have never really owned that person.

Not only are you used to it, but you can also use it. After all, pain is more sensible than comfort and can make people grow faster.

Bai Xunyin thought, a strange smile appeared unknowingly on the corners of his lips.

"Don't forget to take the medicine again that night." Ji Huiying sighed and lowered her head to eat. She is already a little old middle-aged, even though she was so elegant and intellectual when she was young, she can't help but get a touch of middle-aged now. Talking about, asking back and forth, and finally said to Bai Xunyin—

"Eat, let's go to the hospital to see your father after eating."

On New Year's Eve, when the people of the whole country are reunited with their families, the three members of their family should also be reunited.

The hospital has nurses on duty whether it is Mid-Autumn Festival or New Year's Eve, because accidents happen from time to time, regardless of whether you celebrate the New Year or not.

The angels in white had no mood swings about any festival. It was not surprising to see someone coming to visit the sick on New Year's Eve. They numbly registered and let them in.

Unlike the cold and damp chill outside, the hospital has air conditioners turned on in all directions, and it has a comfortable constant temperature all the year round—but Bai Xunyin felt cold instantly when he walked into Bai Hongsheng’s ward.

Almost all the pores opened up, swarming up into the chill of the cold air.

She looked at her pale and skinny father, who was lying on the hospital bed and could only live on nutrients. Her eyes were red in an instant, and she bit her lip and couldn't shed tears.

"Girls' tears are all golden beans, but they can't be shed easily." Through the misty eyes, Bai Xunyin unconsciously remembered that her father was still tall, and when he was healthy, he once fell to the ground without crying. Hug himself on his knees, chuckling softly.

The man smiled brightly and gently, and the hands rubbing her head were dry and warm: "If Yinyin shed tears, my father should be heartbroken to death."

But as Bai Hongsheng said, he wiped the "Golden Beans" on the face of Bai Xunyin's little apple, as if they were really treasured.

In the past, he could rely on, act like a baby, and Bai Xunyin could shed tears without fear, wantonly, and felt that someone was backing him.

So after Bai Hongsheng got into trouble...Bai Xunyin gradually didn't like to cry. She preferred to hold back her tears and interpret it with a blank face—because she didn't want to or was used to let others wipe her tears.

"Because of this appearance, I didn't let you come to the hospital." After Ji Huiying came in, she expertly walked over to help Bai Hongsheng massage. She turned around and saw the loss of Bai Xunyin's red eyes, she couldn't help but sighed: "Yin Sounds, don’t be affected. In fact, your father’s condition has not deteriorated. He has been in a fairly stable state. Maybe someday..."

As she spoke, her voice stopped abruptly.

Bai Xunyin knew that this was because Ji Huiying couldn't give a promise and didn't want to lie to her, so she could only stop silently.

When Bai Hongsheng can wake up, it is the same concept as when she can restore her voice—it is something that no doctor can be sure of.

It may be tomorrow, or it may be for a lifetime.

Bai Xunyin is just pitiful Ji Huiying, and one person carries the two of them like a "shot put"-like burden.

Her mother's spine seemed weak, but she couldn't be crushed easily.

Just thinking about it, the phone in Bai Xun's jeans hummed.

When I took it out, it was a call from Yu Luoyin.

Now that she sees these three words, her pupils will unconsciously shrink, depressed and anxious.

Bai Xunyin's slender fingers squeezed tightly, hung up impatiently, and simply turned on silent. She threw her mobile phone on the table without seeing her or getting upset, and then went to the hospital bed to help Ji Huiying massage Bai Hongsheng together.

Yu Luoyin, who was hung up, looked at the screen of the phone with a bit of astonishment, and chuckled briefly after a while.

The laughter was particularly harsh in the deserted and empty corridor.

He felt like a joke.

For the Chinese New Year, he ran out regardless of family members' dissuasion and scolding, and drove all the way to the broken corridor of Bai Xunyin's home... but there was no one at home.

Could it be that he guessed wrong, and Bai Xunyin really went to his relatives to celebrate the New Year?

But even if you go to a relative's house, you won't hang up, right? Yu Luoyin Qingjun frowned slightly, stared at the phone for a long time, and dialed another call.

The ringtone fends for itself, and no one answers it.

Yu Luoyin's frowning brow couldn't help but become a little irritable, and there was a slight anxiety.

He couldn't help even lighting a cigarette.

In the narrow corridors of Smoke Owl, people passing by with lively talks will unconsciously freeze their voices when they see this handsome and conspicuous young man—then lower the movement, and walk away whisperingly.

After all, Yu Luoyin's eyebrows are somber now, and his whole body is full of aura of ‘Don’t come near you.

He casually played with the steel lighter in his hand, always feeling that something was wrong with Bai Xunyin.

Since a few days ago, I have not answered the phone, and I can reply to Wechat with no more than one word...Compared with the obedient and obedient before, it is completely like a different person.

Did you offend her somewhere?

A cigarette burned out, and I didn't think of any clues, and the phone was ringing restlessly—all the calls from all directions to ask him, the most of which was the group of people at home calling him back.

Yu Luoyin buckled the phone anxiously, stepped on the cigarette **** and went downstairs.

Before driving away, he sent a message to Bai Xunyin slightly stiffly: [Give me a reason not to answer the phone. ]

And this message didn't get a response when he drove into his yard.

The little girl seemed determined to ignore him, irritating.

Yu Luoyin was on fire, and the joints were squeezed and creaked unconsciously. When the young man walked in with a layer of cold air, he seemed incompatible with the ‘warmth like spring’ in the whole house.

He almost smelled of ‘coldness and death’.

"Ayin, what's the matter?" Yu Shiqin, a cousin who played with Yu Luoyin, walked over and asked, "Who made you angry?"

Yu Shiqin studied abroad all the year round, and it was only rare to come back during the New Year. Yu Luoyin didn't want to show people's face, he paused, and then lazily pulled his lips.

"Who can provoke me?" Yu Luoyin narrowed his eyes slightly and said arrogantly: "I have always made others angry."

Bai Xunyin is the same, don't want to affect him.

The young man was full of spirits, arrogantly like a fierce leopard, but elegant and gentle on the outside like a lazy cat.

The two temperaments merged together, unexpectedly harmonious.

As if he was born to be so arbitrary, no one could stand to hit him at all.

Yu Shiqin couldn't help but feel relieved looking at it—

Having not seen each other for two years, Yu Luoyin has become more mature and has a more ‘Yu family’ posture.

"Brother, cousin." Yu Shitian is also Yu Shiqin's younger sister, and Yu Luoyin's cousin came to call for people. She likened to Luoyin to be one year younger, and she was also in high school. She was in a sweet and cute princess dress. There was a faint look in her appearance: "What are you doing? They told you to come over for dinner."

Yu Shiqin spoiled her sister very much, and his big slender hand gently rubbed her head: "Little devil, here is going."

However, Yu Luoyin's gaze stopped for a moment on the cascading chain on Yu Shitian's wrist, which shimmered after shaking. Then he thoughtfully asked: "Sweet, where did you buy this bracelet? ?"

"Hehe, T's latest model, is it good-looking?" Yu Shitian's white wrist swayed in front of Yu Luoyin, and after smiling, he asked curiously: "Hey, cousin, why are you curious about these girls? "

"Find a way to get one, before the day after tomorrow at the latest." Yu Luoyin drew a black card from her wallet and threw it to Yu Shitian, and then faintly said in the grumble that the latter was about to blurt out: "By the way, give it to yourself. Buy something and I will pay the bill."

"Thank you cousin!" Yu Shitian just yelled, "What are you kidding?" Yu Shitian immediately turned abruptly, bending his eyes with a smile: "I promise to get it for you-why do you want this? ?"

Yu Luoyin said ‘um’.

At this time, even Yu Shiqin was a little surprised, and looked at him jokingly: "Who to give it to? Are you kidding in love or chasing a girl?"

"Neither." Thinking of the phone that had just been hung up, and the information that had been ignored in the past few days, Yu Luoyin's eyes dimmed, and an unnoticeable dark bird flashed.

He said softly: "I am teasing a pet."

"What kind of pet? Cousin, do you keep a cat or a dog?" Yu Shitian felt inexplicable: "You have to use a bracelet to tease it, can't you make a cat stick?"

"Yanggui, I seem to be angry recently." Yu Luoyin snorted and smiled casually: "It's gotta coax."

Cats like shiny things, don’t girls also like diamonds?

After the long meal was over, Yu Luoyin received Bai Xunyin's reply.

The words in the dialog box are just as boring as the Man Han banquet at night: [It’s too noisy, I didn’t hear it. 】

Being able to contact people, Yu Luoyin's inexplicable anxiety only slightly relieved, he lowered his eyes and asked: [When will you be back? 】

Bai Xunyin returned quickly: [Tomorrow. 】

【it is good. ] Yu Luoyin said softly, and quickly returned: [Wait for me at home. 】

Then he called Yu Shitian again and said lazily—

"Find a way, get me the bracelet by noon tomorrow."