Incurable Pain
Chapter 76:
Bai Xunyin left the French window on the second floor of the winery and walked along the corridor to the lobby to find Yu Luoyin.
But when she passed through a secret door, she encountered the'uninvited guest', and was unguarded by a sturdy and slender hand that grabbed her arm. Before Bai Xunyin had time to react, she was already drawn in. In the dark, her eyes suddenly became dark, and she was covered by the'Deng Disciple' behind her.
Before he could panic, Bai Xunyin's nose smelled the familiar clear mint scent.
In an instant, all the tension and tension relaxed, and she let herself lean on the people behind her without speaking.
"Tsk." Yu Luoyin's voice was low, it seemed a pity: "Why are you not afraid?"
Bai Xunyin blinked, and when he spoke, his soft lips crossed his palms: "I know it's you."
Yu Luoyin didn't ask how she knew it, nor did she pretend to be teasing like in the past. He just hugged the little girl's thin waist from behind and put his chin on her shoulder.
The sound of breathing lingered in his ears, Bai Xunyin keenly felt a little heavy.
He seems to be...something on his mind.
Bai Xunyin frowned slightly, and asked tentatively, "Unhappy?"
"Happy, not happy." Yu Luoyin sighed low, her clear voice seemed to restrain something, and could not restrain the prelude of the faint eruption of the volcano under the lava. There was a very **** depression: "Baby, I'm very happy that you made it for me, but six years ago...what did my mother tell you?"
Bai Xunyin was startled slightly. It turned out that Yu Luoyin had heard her conversation with Gu Yuan just now.
No wonder he was so abnormal and would hold her like a child-although he also loves to act like a baby on weekdays.
Although he had promised that Gu Yuan would not tell Yu Luoyin about the cloud smoke in the past, he already knew that it was another situation.
"It's really nothing." Bai Xunyin sighed lowly: "It was the night in the hospital. In fact, your mother came to see you and happened to meet me."
He encountered the ‘culprit’ who was embarrassed by the blood on the school uniform, but caused her son to go to the hospital.
Yu Luoyin imagined the awkward situation that Bai Xunyin might have at the time, and closed his eyes.
"President Gu knows about our affairs, but he didn't say anything too much, he just hoped that I would leave you." Bai Xunyin's long eyelashes drooped slightly. In the darkness, the two of them couldn't see each other's expressions clearly, only their breaths crossed "Actually, I can understand her thoughts. She has always been strict with you. Of course, she can't stand the puppy love, and I have hurt you so badly."
Speaking of this, Bai Xunyin couldn't help but laughed: "Of course she thinks I am a scourge."
Yu Luoyin's arms around the woman's slender waist tightened unconsciously.
"But Dean Gu didn't say anything." Bai Xunyin patted him comfortingly, with a voice like coaxing a child: "Yu Luoyin, it was my fault. She and I took the initiative to say that I would leave you. Don't you be angry?"
"No, I'm not angry." When I was looking for Bai Xunyin, I accidentally ran into the scene of her and Gu Yuan going up to the second floor. The ghost followed up, hiding in the dark and hearing the words were enough to defeat Yu Luo. Yin psychological construction.
He feels distressed that Bai Xunyin is too late, so how could he be angry.
"No, I mean you don't be angry with your mother." Bai Xunyin's voice is soft and firm: "I'm not lying to you, she really didn't say anything. I was a little angry just talking to her, and it's not because I was angry about six years ago Thing, because, because..."
She was a little hard to speak, but Yu Luoyin took her words faintly: "It's because of the psychiatrist, isn't it?"
Bai Xunyin bit his lower lip and was silent.
But this can be regarded as a silent confession.
"Stupid girl." Yu Luoyin smiled lightly, and put the person in his arms: "How do you know that I have visited a psychiatrist?"
Bai Xunyin didn't want to hide from him, so he met Liu Yufu in Qulan University, and then Liu Yufu happened to meet him in his freshman year and went to the psychotherapy clinic.
As Yu Luoyin listened, there was only the phrase ‘there is no impermeable wall in the world’ in his mind.
Just as if he couldn't hide things from Bai Xunyin, Liu Yufu would cleverly push away the clouds, and as if Bai Xunyin couldn't hide from him, he would overhear the conversation with Gu Yuan.
It seems that everything is destined.
It is destined that the two of them can't hide anything from each other, and being honest is the best way.
"You know everything about me so clearly, Sister Lu should have told you everything that should be said." Yu Luoyin sighed lowly: "Am I a very poor child?"
As he said, he coquettishly held Bai Xunyin and lifted her up high, wanting to'comfort with a kiss'.
I'm used to his acting like a baby, but occasionally I still feel uncontrollable.
Bai Xunyin held back his laugh, covered his lips and asked in a serious manner: "Then are you still angry with your mother?"
Yu Luoyin's body stiffened.
"I won't ask you to be a saint." Bai Xunyin jumped down from him, touching his forehead against the man's chest, and said word by word: "But there was nothing wrong with President Gu in the conversation six years ago. One thing is related to my reason, so I have to explain it clearly. As for the other...I won't stop you from getting angry."
Yu Luoyin's stiff body gradually softened, and his obscure eyes in the darkness were helpless that would not be easily peeped.
In fact, he would be panicked.
"Find time to talk with Dean Gu, don't hide everything in your heart." Bai Xunyin said, standing on tiptoe, and kissed his chin gently: "Be good."
If Yu Luoyin could use the ability to pretend to be pitiful and act like a baby in front of her one-tenth in front of Gu Yuan Yuyuan, perhaps the relationship between them would not be so rigid.
Yu Luoyin held her silently in the darkness, and after a long while, he nodded insignificantly.
I don't know if he listened to Bai Xunyin's enticing words, or... finally wanted to compromise with him.
One evening after get off work, Yu Luoyin drove back to the Yu family's wealthy compound.
He doesn't love coming back very much, except that he rarely comes back on a fixed day. The more he grows up, the more he looks at reconciliation with Gu Yuan Yuyuan on the surface, but in fact he is drifting away.
Yu Luoyin hasn't looked at it carefully for a long time, it turns out that his'home' is now so deserted.
The nanny has been in this house for many years. He is half a family, but after all, he is not a real family.
The man frowned his long and delicate eyebrows, slightly pursed his lips and walked in.
He had a password, he didn't need to ring the doorbell, he walked in the door lightly, no one turned on the light in the house where the sun hadn't set in the evening, it was dim, and there was a shadow of a person sitting in the living room.
It was Yu Yuan. He raised his head when he heard someone walk in at the door, and when he saw Yu Luoyin, a hint of surprise flashed across the mature but handsome face.
"Sudden? You're back." The man subconsciously glanced at the clock on the wall: "Is it the eighteenth today?"
In the past, Yu Luoyin would only come back once on the 18th of every month or on extremely occasional holidays, otherwise it would be the holidays.
"It's not the eighteenth." Yu Luoyin put his hands in his pockets and shrugged pretentiously, "Can't you come back?"
"What are you talking about, this is your home..." Yu Yuan stood up, a trace of exhaustion under his eyes was well concealed: "Of course he will come back whenever he wants to."
Yu Luoyin was silent, and asked after a moment: "Where is my mother, is she at home?"
Speaking of Gu Yuan, Yu Yuan was obviously taken aback, and then sighed.
"At home." The man looked up at the steps. Gu Yuan was obviously upstairs. He rubbed his temples with a headache: "Your mother is sick recently and is in a bad mood. You... go see her."
It turned out that Yu Yuan was at home because Gu Yuan was ill, so the explanation was clear.
Yu Luoyin frowned and quickly went up the stairs. When he walked outside the door of Gu Yuan, he knocked on the door and heard a muffled ‘come in’ inside before pushing the door and walking in.
Gu Yuan leaned on the head of the bed, less than a week away from Yu Shiqin's previous engagement banquet, as if the whole person had lost weight and his face was pale.
But there is no sickness between the eyebrows. It is estimated that the depressed coziness is due to'heart disease'.
When she saw Yu Luoyin, she was obviously taken aback, her always cold voice said in a low voice, "How come you remember today?"
"Isn't it?" Yu Luoyin walked over and poured a glass of water for her, with a faint voice: "Why don't you call me when I am sick? Forgot that I am a doctor?"
Gu Yuan's slender fingers gripped the glass tightly, and said nothing.
In fact, she didn't have any sickness, but she was suddenly very tired, very tired, and just wanted to lie down on the bed and rest for a while and didn't want to get up-she looked sick in the eyes of others.
Is it really because she is too strong on weekdays and never seems to be tired?
Gu Yuan used to enjoy this kind of evaluation, but she suddenly felt lost when she lived at this age.
This confusion is no less than the shock that Bai Xunyin gave her after speaking to him when she was in the winery.
My own desire for control, Yu Luoyin's psychologist... Gu Yuan felt a little shameless to face Yu Luoyin, even if he was his own son.
It is said that there is no overnight feud between the child and the parent.
It can be said that the estrangement between Luoyin and them is no longer a "night", it is countless years, and it is the depression that Gu Yuanguang can't make up even after thinking about it.
"Mom, I'm here this time to hear you tell me the truth." Yu Luoyin sat on the chair by the window, looking down at his slender fingers, pressing slowly, as if to himself over and over again. It's the same as doing psychological construction-he wants to reconcile with himself, he wants to be calm.
In response to Gu Yuan's slightly startled gaze, he raised his head: "I heard all the conversation between you and Yinyin that day."
Gu Yuan's pupils contracted suddenly, and his fingers unconsciously grasped the sheet under him.
It was ridiculous to say that she would actually feel nervous in front of her son.
"I asked Yinyin, she said that you didn't say anything too much, is it true?" Yu Luoyin looked at her with a black heart, and there were rare truths at this moment: "This is one of my heart. Festival is very important to me, and I hope you can tell me the truth."
No matter what the result is, he can accept it.
Gu Yuan closed her eyes. These days, she couldn't help recalling the scenes from six years ago in her mind. At this moment, her back was running backwards. After a while, her voice was a little hoarse and she opened her mouth—
"Your condition at the time was very wrong. I guessed whether it was due to external influence, so I asked my confidant to check it out."
"I learned that you were in the hospital that night. I rushed to the hospital from the laboratory. You entered the ward. Outside was the little girl... Bai Xunyin."
"At a glance, I felt that she was the girl in the survey data who couldn't speak, although she had already recovered her voice at the time."
"It may be the sixth sense of a woman's subconscious. I suspect that you are in a puppy love, but I am very opposed to it. I think that is another form of'plaything and fun.' I don't want you to change at a young age because of the love between men and women. I don’t know the severity."
At this point, Gu Yuan's voice paused, and some self-deprecating smiles: "But I didn't expect that a little girl could see through better than me."
Yu Luoyin squinted suspiciously.
"In fact, I should have thought that Bai Xunyin is not an ordinary girl, she is more pure than us, and she has more eyesight..." Gu Yuan muttered, "I asked her to leave you at the time because I didn't want my son to be a victim. The girl’s influence, I thought she would cry and begged me. After all, everyone knows what our family is like."
Climbing the ‘high branch’ of Yu Luoyin, don’t you want to get something out of it?
When Yu Luoyin listened, he had some premonitions in his heart, but he still asked, "What then?"
"She didn't say anything, she agreed." Gu Yuan smiled, with a hint of condemnation for herself, and sighed if there was nothing: "She only has one request, and that is to talk about it after the college entrance examination is over. Then she Will leave you automatically, and at that time, she doesn't want your results to be affected...I'm not as good as her."
Bai Xunyin was right, she really hadn't considered Yu Luoyin's mood.
Even a little girl is more thoughtful than her mother.
At the beginning, Gu Yuan had a deep memory of Bai Xunyin's ‘requirement’, but later on Bai Xunyin’s reluctance, he went even more profoundly when he really said nothing.
She understands why her son is addicted to that girl.
Yu Luoyin has finally pieced together the entire process that happened so far, his black eyes are ambiguous and a little dazed.
But he could clearly perceive that the palm of his hand was numb and his blood was hot.
With a distance of more than ten kilometers, Yu Luoyin already wanted to embrace Bai Xunyin.
"Luoyin, give us a chance to make up." Gu Yuan looked at Yu Luoyin's expression and brightened his eyes like a flower blooming in a desperate situation. After skipping over with fear, he calmed down and said seriously—
"Your dad and I are indeed guilty, irresponsible, we both admit, and we tried to make you and your brother be married in the same family, but that disappeared."
"We are not qualified to control you, nor will we let you do things you don't want."
"Actually, I really like the girl from Bai Xunyin. When will... officially meet?"
Yu Luoyin was not surprised when he heard it, and anyone who liked Bai Xunyin would not be surprised.
His little girl is so good that she should have been born with thousands of pets, but her destiny made a joke, which made her suffer from ups and downs, but he will love her in the future.
"I'll tell her." Yu Luoyin didn't want to wait for a moment. He just wanted to go back to Bai Xunyin quickly. He stood up quickly, but his tall and thin back paused before leaving.
"Actually, I'm learning to cook recently." Yu Luoyin tilted his head slightly, and said to Gu Yuan on the bed: "I will bring you soup tomorrow and leave."
Hearing from Gu Yuan's mouth the whole process of being in the hospital six years ago, the thoughts in his mind were unconsciously pulled back to the frightening midnight six years ago.
It was like a bell at midnight. That night, they seemed to be destroyed and redeemed.
Yu Luoyin admitted that he hated that night, hated Bai Xunyin who changed his wishes without telling him, and even hated his powerlessness as young and incapable of changing the world.
But hate is better than love. He loves her, so after months of suffering, this kind of "hate" became insensitive, like a painless scar on the apex of the heart.
Can't compare with Bai Xunyin's obsession and obsession.
At that time, Yu Luoyin thought he might be crazy, he didn't understand why he had to do it with her.
But until I flew to the north and saw him again across a long distance on the campus, I understood everything if I didn't know it.
There is no reason to like and obsess, he only wants her, nothing more.
But the painless and itchy scar is still there after all, and it was completely flattened by Gu Yuan today.
When Yu Luoyin heard her retelling Bai Xunyin's back then, "A few months later, I don't want to delay his college entrance examination." He just wanted to rush home and hug the little girl and kiss.
Like an immature hairy boy, he is more impatient than he was when he was eighteen.
But the moment he opened the door and saw Bai Xunyin sitting on the bay window reading a book, he calmed down strangely-like a breeze, an invisible hand gently smoothed out all his restlessness.
Bai Xunyin may have this ability.
She was wearing grey-white home clothes, with her long blow-dry hair draped behind her back, and a faint fragrance of shower gel lingered all over her body just after the shower.
After many years of living together, Yu Luoyin finally knew what brand of shower gel she was using.
But when the taste is applied to myself, there is no such feeling of haunting dreams.
Yu Luoyin understood that he was not addicted to taste, but people.
A girl with white skin in ivory porcelain is bathed in the sun, her skin is almost transparent, and her book is soft and peaceful.
This made Yu Luoyin's filthy thoughts that had just arisen in his mind disappeared when he couldn't wait to run back.
In fact, just watch her quietly for a while.
Bai Xunyin heard the movement from the door, and when he put down the book and turned his head to look over, his eyes were clear, pure and vivid.
A word suddenly flashed in Yu Luoyin's mind--
[You smile slightly, don't say anything to me. And I think, for this, I have been waiting for a long time. ]
-Tagore "Asuka Collection"
"Teacher, I'm always thinking about the true meaning of'satisfaction'?"
"The more you can feel, the more emptiness."
Once again, I made a summary of the lecture in the professor's office of Lan University. At the end, Bai Xunyin suddenly asked Li Chengfeng such a question.
In the stunned eyes of the other party, she smiled: "I seem to be thinking about science students these days."
Li Chengfeng's frowning brows stretched out, and he suddenly smiled.
"Xiao Bai, last time I asked you if you were in love, don't you need to ask this question now?" He smiled, his eyes were calm and gentle after precipitation, and he seemed to be able to see through everything: "In fact, you are here for the first time. At the time I thought you were a good material for scientific research, but a girl, who was very good-looking, had a sharp temperament on her body."
It was a sense of sharpness as thin as a ‘blade’, not to say that the girl Bai Xunyin was so fierce, on the contrary, she was very light.
As if everything can't be seen, it will pass away with the wind at any time.
But since I first saw it in April, Li Chengfeng was very pleased to feel that some of Bai Xunyin's temperament had become ‘softer’.
Perhaps it is related to the question she is asking now.
She was satisfied with certain needs, but behind the satisfaction was an unstoppable emptiness.
It's like the fear of the bubble when it is at its most colorful, fearing that it will disappear.
But after Lu Ying's ‘psychotherapy’, Bai Xunyin gradually understood the reason for turning his fear of unreasonable worry into practical action.
So she actually said this to the teacher, and then smiled: "Teacher, don't you mean someone with sharp and radical thinking, but can do the best research?"
"Yes, so I admire you very much." Li Chengfeng couldn't help but smile. He had a golden house in his words: "But behind the career is life first."
"In any case, I hope my student life will be happy."
Bai Xunyin was stunned slightly, and suddenly felt the enlightenment.
-It turns out that Professor Li Chengfeng is not selfless, but a true wise man.
Because only a truly wise man can integrate his work and family selflessly.
In comparison, she has a lot to grow up.
Lin Lan had the most rain in August, sometimes even lingering from morning to night, but it was still soft in the end.
On Saturday morning, Bai Xunyin pulled Yu Luoyin from half-dream and half-awake.
The latter dragged people to toss late yesterday. He didn't expect that Bai Xunyin still had the strength to get up so early. He squinted his eyes and watched the woman's waist stiffen for a moment, then he squeezed up and washed and changed clothes.
Yu Luoyin struck and yawned, rather tired and lazy, and his voice was dumb and dumb: "Why get up so early?"
Bai Xunyin wore a very formal dress today. Unlike her usual casual style, she wore a suit that she didn't wear much today.
The two legs under the half-length pencil skirt are long and thin, white and straight on black micro-heeled shoes.
Such a dress is something she would never wear on weekdays, and Yu Luoyin couldn't help sitting upright.
Bai Xunyin is putting up a tall ponytail in front of the mirror, his slap face is clear, and his brown eyes are faint: "Take you to a place."
It was an area that she had never taken anyone to, and she thought of it on weekdays and even felt offensive to be invaded.
But at this moment, I felt that I could go with Yu Luoyin.
The locals who have lived in Linlan since childhood are accustomed to the daily damp water vapor, and do not use umbrellas in drizzle.
Yu Luoyin obediently didn't ask anything, and let Bai Xunyin drive until he drove out of the downtown area, and drove further and further south to the suburbs.
When Yu Luoyin realized something, his eyebrows moved slightly.
He looked at Bai Xunyin's delicate profile, the girl pursed her lips, and drove meticulously until she drove the car to the parking lot outside the Nanbu Bay Cemetery.
It seemed that the meticulous and gentle drizzle was a bit deserted.
Yu Luoyin's heart jumped, and he opened his mouth before he could say anything. Before Bai Xunyin asked anything, he unfastened his seat belt and got out of the car.
Just like the construction of all cemeteries, visiting the tombstone requires walking a steep mountain road.
Bai Xunyin silently ascended the heights calmly, stepping on his micro-heeled shoes very steadily.
The drizzle didn't stop, and soon a thin layer of frost mist covered her body, and the girl's long eyelashes were stained with a few crystal drops of water.
Like all things that accumulate little and become more, drizzle is just as ‘lethal’.
Yu Luoyin's Qiqiao Linglong heart is transparent, and of course he understands where Bai Xunyin is going to take him. He followed silently, only sighed slightly before entering the cemetery—
"I should buy a bunch of flowers."
It's the first time to meet the future "old man", how come you are so empty-handed?
Why should I buy a bunch of lilies?
Before Yu Luoyin was away in Bai Xunyin's absence, she had secretly visited her parents.
He remembered that when Bai Hongsheng was still there, Ji Huiying would buy a bunch of lilies every week, which added a touch of life to the monotonous icy ward.
Yu Luoyin has seen it many times, so he thinks Bai Hongsheng should like Lily.
Otherwise, Ji Huiying likes it, but the wife likes it better, and being a husband naturally also likes it along with her.
"No." Bai Xunyin smiled slightly and shook his head: "It's fine for my dad to see me bringing someone here."
They are all extreme materialists, but they often have an unrealistic fantasy in front of the graveyard of the closest people.
It's like what they say, loved ones can hear in the sky.
Yu Luoyin's attitude unconsciously became more serious and solemn.
The picture of Bai Hongsheng on the tombstone is still very young, he looks like he is 27 or 18 years old.
The girl's father Xiao, Bai Hongsheng's facial features are somewhat similar to Bai Xunyin's, and the most amazing thing is the light charm between the eyebrows-although gentle but alienated, Yu Luoyin suddenly feels extremely cordial.
All he saw in the ward before was Bai Hongsheng's eyes closed, the skinny and dead man lying on the bed.
This is the first time that Yu Luoyin has seen his true face in Lushan in the photo. He is handsome and clear, and can be seen from a single photo that he has a calm and charming temperament.
"My father is handsome, right."
The last time someone came to Bai Hongsheng's cemetery was when Ji Huiying was in Lin Lan, women often came to accompany him. A few weeks later, a thin layer of ash had accumulated on the tombstone. After being washed by rain several times, the marble surface was mottled.
Bai Xunyin said faintly, with a slight joking tone, he knelt down and wiped Bai Hongsheng's tombstone with the white silk cloth he carried with him.
It seems that God is not willing to fight against the wonderful girl. The rain that had been lingering from midnight to morning gradually stopped, revealing a ray of sunshine.
The girl's white and tender knees were on the dark and moist ground in front of the tombstone, and soon a layer of dirt was covered, but she ignored it.
Bai Xunyin seemed to be talking to Yu Luoyin, and he seemed to be talking to himself: "I grew up thinking that my father was the most handsome and tall person in the world. When I was young, I actually lived with my grandparents in the ancient town. But my father was reluctant to take me back and take me back when his career was the busiest...I never thought he would leave me so early."
It may be because the sun after the rain is too bright and dazzling, the girl's brown eyes have a slight color of water.
In fact, she missed Dad very much.
It was the first time that Yu Luoyin heard Bai Xunyin take the initiative to bring up the affairs of her home, feeling no less than opening a corner of a reinforced heart that was so close to the dust, and instantly froze in place.
Surprised and distressed, the fingers hanging on his side unconsciously clenched into fists.
"But the world is so unpaid. There will be accidents in life at any time. The accident in our family is an old disease that turns into a doctor, and freezing three feet is not a day's cold."
The smile on Bai Xunyin's lips was a little lonely. In fact, her only regret was that she had never grown up when Bai Hongsheng left, and had never taken the initiative to do anything for him.
"You have always loved me." Bai Xunyin looked at the photo on the tombstone and muttered: "I know you don't worry about me alone. I want someone to take care of me for you."
"So I brought him to you to see."
Aware of the "recognition" sound in Bai Xunyin's words, Yu Luoyin's breathing was stagnant, and slowly knelt down beside Bai Xunyin.
Whatever said at this time was actually in vain, he just had to call "Dad" silently in his heart.
Don't worry, I will be good at the sound.
Be meticulous, as if you were there.
When descending from the hilltop cemetery, Yu Luoyin memorized Bai Xunyin.
He used a tissue to help the girl wipe the wet soil on her knees, only to find that the knees were red.
Yu Luoyin was so distressed that she didn't let her go down the steps by herself, so she simply carried the person on her back.
Bai Xunyin couldn't resist. Seeing that no one around saw the stupidity of their'fighting', he simply enjoyed the man's broad back, lying on his shoulders and looking down at the green grass on the edge of the steps, and the surroundings Ants often enjoy themselves.
"Go home and eat more food." Yu Luoyin stretched out his hand and lifted her, somewhat dissatisfied: "It's weightless."
Bai Xunyin smiled without saying a word, her slender arm wrapped around his shoulder.
In fact, just as Yu Luoyin walked away, she even whispered to Bai Hongsheng—
[Dad, he is my previous human delusion. ]
The current Xiangruiyimo.
It's just that of course this can't be said to Yu Luoyin, otherwise he should have a bad **** again.
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