Key To A Goblin's Heart

I woke up with a brilliant flash of light that almost blinded me, but then I realised that I had my eyes closed. Was this a dream? I opened my eyes a tiny bit, to see the surroundings and I really was shocked by what I had to see in front of my eyes. It was a psychadelic image, the patterns overlapped each other in a sudden blur of red, white and blue, and I tenderly saw all around to make sure that I wasn't dreaming. 

This wasn't any dream, I was assured. No dream could be so vivid. I had no idea what place this was, or was I trying to be somewhere inside the depths of my mind. The last thing I remember is trying to open a portal so that I could peek into the elusive Enchanted Forests, but I had no idea of that attempt was successful. All I remember was a brilliant flash of light before everything went dark. 

So, was this that place we have been searching for? Can the Enchanted Forests be…..so mundane? The scenary that I saw in front of my eyes was that of a village, with the lazy afternoon sun peering through the thickets that cast a shadow over the playground. The village was enveloped in a peaceful silence, with no evidence of any imminent war that usually ravages Arphoelus. 

Wait….is this Arphoelus? It is... I realised with a shudder. The landmark is quite different from anywhere on Mafhaelore and somehow…. I remember this village, I know this place and I am certain that I am standing on Arphoelus' grounds right now. 

I was immediately on my guard, trying to assess the situation. Maybe, somehow the magic had backfired and I had accidentally opened a portal to Arphoelus, but in that case why am I alone? Where are the others? Where is Victoria?

I hid myself behind a bush, and all the nerves in my body were in complete alert mode. I had no way of knowing where the others were, but I knew that if I didn't escape this place soon, I will be discovered. I knew what that will lead to, anyone who sees me here will instantly identify me and report me back to the King. That is the last thing I wanted, as I had worked too hard to escape that place. I shall never return again. 

But, no one was in sight. In fact, a few people that I saw roaming Abou were totally oblivious to my presence. It was like I was in someone's dream, and I did in what I was doing there. 

Suddenly, I heard a voice and my whole body jolted at it. I felt a shiver run down my spine, not because the voice was coming closer….but because I identified it. It belonged to my father. 

Not my father, the King….but the father that had rescued me the day I had escaped from my mother's murderers. The father that had eventually adopted me and taught me to fight. I couldn't believe my ears, was this some sort of magic at okay because no way my father would be here. 

But he was, a living breathing man who moved as swiftly as a serpant, and with him stood an adolescent boy with a stick sword, and he was trying his best to swing it properly. The boy, it seemed, was new to all this. He had a mane of golden hair that moved effortlessly in the wind, and he was as thin as a stick. I caught a glimpse of his face, and my heart almost stopped in my chest. 

Because that boy was the childhood me! I saw my face masked with utmost concentration as sweat drops trickled down my eyebrows and I saw my reed thin figure trying to blend with the wind and move as quickly as it could. 

I was witnessing my childhood. 

My throat was perched now, and I felt a foreboding sense of doom. This was not good, I thought. I had tried so hard, over so many years, to shove these memories away and shut them down. Thinking about them never did me any good, and I always wanted to pretend like I had no childhood. 

Sometimes it helped. Mostly, it didn't. This part if my life was something that is akin to a nightmare for me. I had conditioned my mind to forego these thoughts, and everytime they creeped up, I effortlessly shut them down. Then, why am i having these flashbacks now. Is this some kind of Dark Magic then?

"Come on boy! Faster, and swing harder. Put your arm strength into each swing and as you bring the sword down, do it with all your might because the opponent is not going to be lenient on you." My Father barked. 

"I am trying." I panted, "but it's too hard. I…. I can't do this."

I swung the sword aside and sat down on the dust. My head was in my hands, and I knew exactly how I felt at that moment. I felt exhausted, drenched, heavy with a weight beyond my years to carry. I pained me to see myself like this, defeated and weak because I had created such a strong image of mine in my head that the flashbacks of truth only disgusted me to a great extent.

I had been so powerful, I was once the most powerful man in the whole of Arphoelus and there was a time that no one dared to cross me. I fought a dozen soldiers single handedly, I fought Petrywinklers and dragons and it had all been cakewalk for me once. So much so that I was forced to forget my roots, I was forced to forget that once I was this pitiable guy who lay in the dust and just wanted to quit. 

"This won't do.", My father was saying, as he shook his head, "You came to me and wanted to learn fighting. You wanted to avenge your mother's death, right? Where is that passion now? How are you ever going to get your revenge, if you have such a escapist mentality?"

The boy that was me started whimpering, he crouched his head between his knees and started crying. My father knelt down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulders in a gesture of solidarity. I could see myself shivering under his touch, and I saw him gently embrace me, the entangled crying mass as it was. 

"You are a brave child." He was saying, "But there's hardly any place for a brave boy if he is unable to act it out. You have to be strong, not simply brave and to be strong you have to learn to fight. Here, I'll teach you…. I will be your coach and I promise that I will make you the best swordsman that there is."

I could see myself raising my head up and saw the tears that rolled down my cheek. Gulping down, I said in a tiny voice, "They were so many….they were so big. I should have done something, but I couldn't." The tears turned into violent rage, "I…. I wish I could kill them all. They tortured her, they made her scream and shout and I... I couldn't do anything. I was just hidden under the bed and I... I saw everything. She wanted me to flee and like a coward I did. I couldn't save her."

The embrace tightened around me, and my father's jaws tightened as he said,"You couldn't have done anything there, and if you had tried to intervene they would have killed you too. You are just a boy, and there's no shame in running away from danger if you see one. You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened, because it's really not your fault."

"I could have worked in the fields. That's what they wanted anyway, for us to help them out in the fields. Mother never wanted me to go but I should have fought her. If I had fought her and went, she...she would not be dead today. They….they did bad things to her and it's... it's all my fault." I stammered as tears gushed down with each word. 

My own chest constricted at the sight of my younger version, blaming himself for my mother's death. I thought that I had outgrown it, but it seems that there are things that you simply can't outgrow off. Seeing your mother brutally murdered in front of your eyes, might be one of them. 

"I know how it must feel to you. But, you need to be strong for that very reason only, to avenge the death of your mother and ensure that no one dies such. You can be a great man one day, but greatness is not an attribute that's inherited...it has to be acquired and you can do it!" My father encouraged me. 

"But...but I have no one left now. What will I do by being great when I am all alone?" The little child said in a small voice. 

"Who says you are alone?" My father said, gently raising me up from the ground, "You have me. I know that you have lost your mother, but I can be your parent. You will always have me." He said with a gentle smile. 

My heart lurched at his statement, and all the buried wounds freshly opened up. I saw light in the eyes of the little boy, and my insides clenched at his hopeful face. Silly kid, I thought. So vulnerable and ready to trust other's words. I saw him hug my father tightly, demanding assurance that he would never leave him. I saw my father give him his word. 

And I knew that he would break it too.