Kill The Villainess

Episode 78: We Would Be Happy

“Anakin, do you have anything you want to do other than being a wandering knight?”

If you had no regrets in this world, could you follow me?

The selfish wind suddenly lifted its head.

No, let’s stop thinking about this. I decided to stay here. I bit my lip, and Anakin, who was staring at the drink in front of me, lifted his head and shook it slowly.

“Well, I didn’t have any other choice. However, even if I had a choice, nothing would have changed.”

Anakin took a sip of the drink in front of him and swallowed it.

“I don’t feel the need to even have a name that everyone has. I could have named myself like Kynthia if I wanted to.”

Do…. not feel the need.

(TL/N: she purposely paused in between, that word is sinking in her mind.)

Somehow Anakin looked a lot like Eris’ mother, Quies Misérian. Wanting nothing, not interested in anything.

Maybe that was why the two people in the story got closer. It was said that Eris was suffering from her mother’s absence and felt lonely.

He was so blank because he was a supporting role for Eris? If he was in Helena’s supporting roles, would the writer have set him in more detail than he was now?

When I kept my mouth shut with one thought or another, Anakin soon put his glass down and smiled a little.

Light eyes stared straight at me.

I wanted to kiss the corner of his faintly rising mouth. Even if we were not in the ballroom, would you accept me?

“…I think it was a good thing I didn’t name myself. I like the name my master gave me.”

If we hadn’t met here…… Just like any other love, I was introduced to you in Korea, at school, and in a very ordinary way…… If we met like that, would we still fall in love?

The answer came out easier than I thought. You were still wearing the necklace I gave you.

No matter how much life was a series of regrets, we all lived in pain by holding onto the assumption of what-ifs, but it seemed to have gotten particularly serious when I entered this novel.

I guess not returning to the dorm right after leaving the store was the source of all troubles. Would it have been different if I hadn’t asked to walk for a while because the streets at night were so pretty?

No, when I think about it now, the damn causality must have worked. Otherwise, I couldn’t have known that I would suddenly hear about Helena from a flower shop where I jokingly stopped by, asking Anakin to buy me a flower.

No, no. It was all an excuse. Actually, I just wanted to go back. When the sun rose and the gates opened, it was ridiculous to say that I had changed my mind at the very threshold of crossing the line. But I couldn’t help it.

I was taught to push myself. Because there was no one to replace me. I even said with my own mouth that I didn’t need her feelings. Honestly, I felt complacent because it was a good position to be in.

(PR/N: ‘her’ as in Helena.)

It was a position called crown princess, who would become the Empress later. Marrying a childhood friend, a handsome prince in a fairy tale, was not a bad opportunity in her life as a maid.

It came true in the novel I read anyway. I concluded at my disposal that I was only helping her.

So I never really asked her. Was it okay for her to marry the prince?  No, it wasn’t good enough. Did she want to marry him?

It kept bothering me that I haven’t heard the answer. No, maybe that crying face caught my heart.

No, no…. I had already seen her cry. At Eris’s Coming of Age ceremony, I even told Helena, who was squeezing her head with a wet face over something that was not her fault, that it was okay to cry.

Come to think of it, she was still young.

I was just about to attend college. If I had heard that a person of that age was getting married in Korea, I would have probably fainted.

I knew this was crazy.

It was also absurd to apply Korean standards to this world. If someone saw me, they might think that I was being noisy belatedly.

However, if I went back to Helena and asked her intention, and if she said no…….

……I would have to break her marriage.

I couldn’t make her unhappy even if it was for me.

I slowly lowered my hand while smelling the scent of wrapped flowers. I put the back of my hand that wasn’t holding a flower to my forehead, laughed and asked Anakin in vain while picking up a stalk.

“I’m sure we could have lived happily ever after. Right?”

Despite my sudden question, Anakin did not ask back why. He just looked down at me and nodded coolly. A faint smile caught his mouth.

Oh, it was at that time. It was my favorite appearance. In fact, there was nothing I didn’t like.

“Yes, I’m sure we would have been happy.”

Futures that could have been achieved, but have not been achieved, passed by my eyes.

I would become a teacher and he would become a hunter, getting by day by day. Making money by knitting and working at an inn……. The timeline where I would play musical instruments, study constellations, sell Medea’s name, and pretend to be a witch.…….

Someday, there might be a day when I would regret making this decision.

But somehow I was convinced that there would be a happier future than the ones I just lost.

“We’ll be happy.”

Even if we didn’t run away, we would be happy.

***

Since there was no need to use my brain by running away, the way back to the capital was naturally faster than when I ran out. Still, it was two days before the wedding because the distance was so far away.

The whole capital was noisy preparing for the wedding.

Of course, flowers and white cloths were waving on every street, and it was very crowded with each party celebrating the crown prince’s wedding.

Yes, the wedding of Helena and the Crown Prince was a major event described by increasing the number of chapters, so it was understandable.

The problem was that I couldn’t enter the imperial palace. Since my status as the fiance has disappeared, I was in a position where I could not enter unless the imperial family called me.

When it came to sneaking in, the security was tighter than ever.  I even thought about using the underground passage, but now that the Marquis had been dismissed from his post, it was in vain.

In the original, I didn’t know how Eris entered the palace. Or since it was the wedding day, did she enter in the middle of a hectic time?

Anyway, it would be late on the day. No matter how much I thought about it, I was not confident in breaking into the wedding hall and shouting, ‘This marriage is invalid.’

I had no choice but to think of a person’s face while biting my fingernails.

“Didn’t you want to run away?”

“Well, that happened somehow.”

When I knocked on the familiar wooden door, Medea looked down at me sternly. To be honest, I avoided looking at her because I was the one who was stabbed. Medea, who was looking at me, sighed and soon stepped aside.

“Let’s sit down and talk. Come on in.”

As I sat on her couch, savouring the willfully tasteless tea that Medea had brewed, I hesitated and opened my mouth. I explained the situation first. The story of how I escaped, went to the border, and then returned.

……I also talked about why I had no choice but to run away. Because I had to persuade Medea.

“So what?”

“I want to talk to Helena.”

“You must think of me as a peddler or troubleshooter?”

Ugh, she was angry. Well, whenever I did something, I was looking for Medea, it couldn’t have looked good from her point of view. Anyway, it was me who was disappointed, so I rolled my eyes and spoke in a voice like an ant’s.

“I’ll do whatever you want.”

“What can you do?”

“Whatever you ask for.”

“You should be brave. What do you think I’m going to ask you for?”

No, why do you keep talking in circles?

I’m running out of time! Honestly, I knew it was my fault and she was upset, but I suddenly got annoyed. I jumped up, looked down at her, and grinded my teeth.

“I’m going to handle it. Why are you so talkative?”

“Even if I tell you to stay in this world?”

“Ha!”

The absurd question made me laugh automatically.

“You have to ask for a price that fits my condition. Why else would I come to you? I’ll just run into the Imperial Palace pretending to be crazy. And if I stay in this world, do you think I’ll be fine?”

Kynthia still liked me better. If he had to choose between the two of us, who would he choose?

“I’ll definitely mess up your next plan, so take care of it.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Still….. I’m asking for a favour.”

Medea looked up at me for a moment and smiled brightly. She reached out and grabbed my neck once. As if to gauge whether it could be broken. But soon she got up and headed to the full-body mirror in the corner.

“Okay, let’s meet.”

She asked me to look straight in the mirror and keep imagining the face I wanted to see.

I had to feel like I was making eye contact with her. That was easy to say, honestly, it was very difficult for me who was unfamiliar with magic.

However, as a result of closing my eyes and trying to concentrate, Helena’s appearance was clearly shining in the mirror when I opened my eyes.

Whether she was preparing for marriage or not, she was not dressed as a maid. To Helena, who was embarrassed, I brought up the main topic without talking about this or that.

“Lady Misérian! Where in the world have you been…….”

“If you don’t want to, say no.”

“What?”

“If you want to run away, tell me you want to run away.”

I looked her in the eye and said just that.

I didn’t bring up anything more than that.

Anyway, she would know what I was talking about even without stating the subject.

“Then I’ll let you run away no matter what I do.”