Kimi no Sei de Kyō Mo Shinenai

Chapter 9:

Title: Checking up on Mitsumine

Today, with its refreshing, hot air, was a noisy and appealing summer morning. Mitsumine, however, did not arrive on the usual train. Because of this, I ended up waiting until the last second to see if she had missed her train and ended up taking a later one, but I still didn’t find her.
Thanks to my decisions, I ended up having to make a glorious dash to the classroom, barely making it on time, but, even though my lungs were burning, I couldn’t stop worrying about Mitsumine. That was all I that could think about.
“Hey, is Mitsumine Iroha taking a day off from school today?”
“Yep, she’s taking the day off. Apparently, it’s cause she caught a cold or something.”
“Hmmm, I see. Thank you!”
That’s why, as soon as homeroom was over, I ran over to Mitsumine’s class and asked one of her classmates. It seems that Mitsumine is taking the day off today because she’s sick.
It’s probably because both of us got soaking wet on the way home yesterday that she caught a cold, though I somehow avoided it. I mean, I vaguely remember there being a saying that was something along the lines of “idiots don’t catch colds,” but let’s just ignore that.

[TLN: The phrase “馬鹿は風邪をひかない” or idiots don’t catch colds is a Japanese proverb.]

(But, still, hearing that she’s taking a day off doesn’t make me feel any less anxious….)
I’ve heard from Mitsumine that her parents are pretty much never home. Basically that means that, even if she were to take her life, there would probably be no one to notice. Remembering how her eyes were sparkling when we went to the aquarium the other day, I want to believe that such a thing is completely impossible, but, even so, I just can’t eliminate the possibility from my mind.
(I guess I’ll stop by Mitsumine’s apartment after school today)
Fortunately, I know where Mitsumine lives, and it’s only two train stops away. Honestly, I really wanted some form of confirmation of her safety right away, but I had no way of contacting her.
Ugh. I never managed to ask her for her contact information for some reason, but not having it is really inconvenient.
Plus, I’m frankly nervous about going. Mitsumine can do the chores and cook. That means that she can also most definitely take care of herself, even when she’s sick. I might end up just being a nuisance if I go. 
Still, I’m going to go. I mean, I have to. She’s the type of person to not ask for anything regardless of how she feels after all.


Pinpon.
The sound of the intercom echoed through the lobby of the apartment.
“…….Yes?”
“Oh, Mitsumine? It’s your hero, A-kun. Hi.”
“…….Huh!?”
For a brief moment, I thought I heard Mitsumine’s voice trembling, but, almost immediately, I heard a thud, which made me think that something had fallen. I could sort of make out a groan on the other side of the intercom, but, within a few seconds, the entrance opened silently. Apparently, she was willing to meet me.
….Even though this was the second time I had been here, I still felt very uncomfortable. 
I got into the luxurious looking elevator and eventually made it to the entrance of Mitsumine’s room. I rang the intercom.
“Hello, it’s me.”
“…..Why’d you come?”
“Why, you ask—–I guess to confirm your wellbeing?”
“*cough*– It’s none of your business, okay!”
I listened to her slightly hoarse voice over the intercom. Then, there was a muffled click of the intercom cutting off, and, with a clank, the door opened slightly. Apparently, she had unlocked the door and now only the door guard remained locked.
“I’m still alive, okay! There was no need for you to come! *cough* It’s really none of your business!!”
“Okay, okay, sorry about that.”
“Oh, no, I wasn’t looking for you to apologize. Um–, I’m not mad that you came or anything.”
Her uncharacteristic honesty made me feel strange. What happened to the usual Mitsumine that fired back with 20 insults for every 10 that I sent her way.
And the fact that the door guard wasn’t opening made me worry about how severe her cold was. Was her cold so bad that she couldn’t unlock it? 
Perhaps Mitsumine sensed my uneasiness, because she opened her mouth in a panic.
“Th-, that’s not what it is. The cold itself isn’t actually that bad. I just thought that it would be better if I took care of myself by taking today off and letting my body recover. The reason I haven’t unlocked the door guard is because—, Um– I was just sleeping so my face and hair look terrible—Plus, it would be bad if I infected you too….” 
“Oh—-, I see.”
“Um, so, well….”
“If you don’t want to show me your face, that’s totally fine. I just really wanted to make sure that you weren’t dead. Surprisingly, you sound decently lively, so I’m satisfied. I mean, if anything, I’m thankful that you were willing to open the door, considering that I showed up uninvited.”
“………Even so, I’m sorry.”
There was nothing for Mitsumine to apologize for. I was the one that wanted to see her and showed up uninvited.
But I was too embarrassed to tell her that directly, so, instead, I silently passed the bag containing the cake I brought as a gift as well as the plastic bag containing the stuff to help her with her cold, which included a bottle of Pocari as well as cold compresses–among other things–, through the crack in the door.
[TLN:  Pocari is basically a sports drink]
This is the first time I’ve done something like this for someone else, so I don’t know how I’m supposed to help out or even how to make sure I’m not being a hindrance. I don’t know anything. I’m sure that, if anyone was watching, they could instantly recognize how awkward my movements were. Honestly, I’m glad that Mitsumine can’t see me.
And my ears are probably bright red right now, despite the fact that it isn’t even winter.
“The stuff in the plastic bag is from the pharmacy, and the paper bag has a cake in it. Feel free to eat it once you get better. And come back to school soon too.”
“……Okay.”
“…..Because, honestly, not talking with you after school makes me feel like I’m missing something important.”
“…………..Y–, yeah.”
“Mitsumine…why are you crying?”
“Huh? I’m not…crying.”
The sound of slight sobs were mixed in with her hoarse voice.
“Give me your hand.”
“W–, why?”
“Just do it.”
“〜〜〜〜”
I could just barely make out the sound of her saying something, though it was inaudible to me. Moments later, a pure white hand reached through the doorway. I grabbed her hand with both of mine and squeezed it. My already-warm hands grew even warmer.
Her hands, which were shaking slightly, felt slightly damp.
“You really were crying, huh.”
“Like I said, I–, I wasn’t crying…..!!”
It was impossible for her to lie her way out of the situation at this point. Sensing that she was about to run away, I grasped her hand and told her to wait a second. Then, I briefly let go of her hand and fished in my bag for a magic marker.
“It’ll tickle a little, but bear with it for a sec.”
“…….”
I took off the cap of the magic marker and started drawing on the smooth surface of the hand that I was clasping lightly. As I did, I began to recall my memories from that day not long ago where I had done something similar. [TLN: Chapter 6]
That day, my hands were shaking so much from nervousness that I couldn’t even write my numbers straight. I wonder if Mitsumine still remembers that.
“There, I’m done. Take a look, I’m really proud of it!”
“…….You sound so confident despite the fact that your drawing skills haven’t improved one bit.”
“Thanks for saying that! I mean, nowadays, confidence is the key to success!”
“I wasn’t complimenting you, you know.”
What was drawn on Mitsumine’s hand was very similar to the cat that I had drawn on the omelet rice the other day. I mean, based on the triangular ears and the dotted whiskers, I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s a cat. If anything, isn’t Mitsumine the crazy one for not recognizing it as one?
Huh, what’s that?  My art sense is so original that people can’t tell that it’s a cat anymore?? …..No comment….
By the way, on the other side of the wall, my plan seemed to have worked. Mitsumine seemed amused. The sobs that I had been hearing just a second ago were now replaced with the sound of laughter. That alone made my plan a great success, but, actually, there was one more component to it——
“I’m lonely, nyaa”
……….Huh?
“We’re not in elementary school anymore, you know? We’re highschoolers. Using ‘nyaa’ is basically a crime.”
(That surprised me. I thought I was going to stop breathing!!)
That’s right. “I’m lonely, nyaa” is the message that I had added to the illustration of the cat. Her reading that aloud, though, was quite dangerous. A “nyaa” surprise attack is bad for the heart and can be used as a weapon of mass slaughter. Please give me a warning next time.
“I didn’t actually say the line, so it’s safe.”
No, even though we’re both high school students, it’s safe for Mitsumine to say it, so, in the end, it’s all about who says it.….I’m starting to feel depressed again.
“……..Um, I think I overdid it a bit with the “nyaa” joke, but….It’s just that, because I haven’t been able to see you all day, um—”
Ah, this is bad. I’m gonna die.
“–I’ve been feeling lonely. That part is true.”
..…My voice was practically fading out of existence as I said that. Man, I’m pathetic. I should’ve acted more cheerful, more energetic so that I could fully clear away Mitsumine’s worries───But these thoughts of mine were blown away in less than a second.
“…………Hmmmm, I see. Fufu, I seee…”
Mitsumine’s voice sounded happy, relieved, and more relaxed.
“You see, I hate taking days off from school.”
She continued, her voice slightly trembling.
“Whenever I take days off, I get scared, scared of the thought that everyone has forgotten about me. Because the fact that each day continues normally means that the world can continue functioning just fine without me, right? Which means that my absence doesn’t bother anyone.”
“……..”
“That’s the natural outcome, but it makes me feel miserable, and it makes me feel unnecessary. It makes me wonder why I even try so hard. It even makes me feel a bit like dying. *cough* And even though I’m the one that told my parents to put their work first, the fact that they won’t even stay by my side makes me feel a bit hopeless. I did this to myself, though. It’s kind of funny, isn’t it.”
“–That isn’t funny at all.”
“……Ahaha. A-kun, at times like this, you don’t play along at all, huh.”
“…..It’s okay….you don’t have to cover up your emotions…”
Is it kindness to pretend to be deceived or is it kindness to break down their lies? I’m way too young to answer a question like that, and I honestly don’t know.
“….ngh…”
I just don’t know.
“……….uuu–!!……”
I don’t know, but–!
“I think those parts of you are really kind. Maybe that kindness of yours is why I can let out some of my bottled-up feelings…..”
If that’s what she says, then I think I chose the correct path.
“Hey, A-kun.”
She spoke up. Her voice sounded like she was on the verge of tears. Because of the door, I had no clue what kind of face she was making, but–.
“I’m genuinely thankful that you came…Actually, I was a little bit lonely too.”
–I just hoped it wasn’t a face of faked emotions. I would feel glad if she was crying her heart out–-Or, even better, if she was genuinely smiling—. All I wanted was for her to express her true emotions and not bottle them up. That’s what I felt from the bottom of my heart.
Ah, I wonder if another day will ever come where I’ll feel this hindered by a singular wall.


“Well, you should rest up, Mitsumine.”
“Yeah, I know. You should be careful too, since you also got drenched yesterday. Wait, nevermind. I just realized that I don’t have to worry about you.”
“Are you trying to call me an idiot??”
“Um, I didn’t say anything, I didn’t say anything.…Oh, I’m getting a call from my mom….”
“Shouldn’t you be picking that up? Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“……Yeah. And I’ll try to recover quickly so that you don’t have to feel so lonely. Byebye–.”
As soon as she said that, the door slammed shut. 
I rode the elevator down, left the apartment, and began walking back towards the train station.
The sky was tinted the color of the sunset. The clouds hanging in the sky looked beautiful.
“Pretty–”
I took out my phone, booted up the camera app, and took a quick picture of the view.
I wonder if Mitsumine will be happy if I show her this view tomorrow. I wonder what kind of face she’ll make.


“Oh, hello, mom? Yeah, I’m feeling better. And then, um, are you coming home late tonight? Yeah, okay, I see. But—, um….well—”
“—! I feel lonely, so I would be really happy if you could come home early today!!”

[TLN: I got severe brain damage trying to translate this chapter. I know I’ve been finally getting consistent with uploads but you might have to give me a bit after this one.]