Lady Spring

Sehyun stared at her for a moment before nodding. He replied,

“I know.”

Saeun panted roughly and glared at him. She expected him to say more, but he didn’t. Was that it? She just told him she was glad her own older brother was dead, yet Sehyun had nothing to say to her? 

Saeun continued, 

“I’m not a bad person. I didn’t do anything wrong. Anyone would’ve felt this way if they lived my life…”

Suddenly, Sehyun interrupted her and said coldly,

“But you know what you did to Wooyoung was still wrong.”

Saeun stopped talking and looked at him. With a small sigh, Sehyun leaned toward her and continued, 

“I know you did it for Wooyoung, but what you did didn’t make him happy. It only made both of you miserable. I know it must’ve looked like an impossible situation, but there was no excuse in giving up like that. If you discussed this situation with Wooyoung, you might have been able to come up with a solution. But in the end, you were afraid Wooyoung might suffer or get angry at you. So you ran away. I have nothing to say about how much you hated your older brother. That’s your right. But don’t try to use that as an excuse for pushing Wooyoung away. That’s not fair.”

Saeun bit her lower lip and studied Sehyun. She wanted to scream at him that he knew nothing about her life. He had no idea how hard her life had been! Did Sehyun really think she left Wooyoung because she wanted to? Does he think it was easy to leave the love of her life? If Yun Junghoo didn’t exist, none of this would’ve happened. If her brother died just a year sooner… She would’ve had a happy life with Wooyoung! Her life wouldn’t have become ruined like this!

It was all Yun Junghoo’s fault! So she was so happy that he was dead. He deserved to die!

Sehyun said quietly,

“Living isn’t easy like you said. So there is no need for you to give up things you want. If there is something or someone you desire, you must try your best to take it even if the consequences might scare you. Who cares about what other people think? Who cares if your decision makes other people miserable? You should be busy living your life the way you want.”

Sehyun leaned back and took out something from his pocket. Saeun chewed on her lower lip as she stared at the white envelope he placed on the table. Sehyun continued, 

“Don’t let other people decide your life for you. You need to take what you want. The biggest obstacle in your life is gone now, right? You got so lucky. This has to be a sign from god. So, what is it that you want most in the world?”

Saeun blinked a few times. She could taste her own blood from her lips. Her eyes blurred and she couldn’t breathe anymore. Her neck felt like someone was choking her. 

The one she wanted the most in this world…

When Saeun couldn’t answer, Sehyun asked,

“Don’t you want to see the idiot who cries every night holding your clothes?”

Saeun’s face crumpled as tears began to roll down from her eyes. She asked,

“W…Woyoung still cries?”

“He has been crying so much that he hasn’t been able to sing at all. Jaejun was so angry with him, but he gave up.”

“But… It has been over a month. I mean… Even I don’t cry anymore.”

The tears rolled down on her cheeks, proving that she was lying. But Sehyun didn’t point this out to her. He murmured, 

“Love isn’t easy either. It’s probably even more difficult than life, but love… it can hurt you so badly, but it can also make you so happy too, right? The kind of happiness from love can’t compare to anything else in the world. So that’s why it’s worth it.”

“Even if it hurts like hell? Enough to kill me?”

Saeun murmured as she wiped away her tears with a napkin. Sehyung smiled brightly and replied,

“Of course.”

***

The Strawberry Fields’ winter concert took place at the beginning of December unlike the other singers’ concerts. The largest olympic stadium in Seoul was the place, and the fans waited outside in the cold weather. 

When they were allowed to walk inside, Saeun followed. Her seat was at the very front. Sehyun gave her two tickets, but she didn’t have any friends to bring. So she just gave up the second seat. Now that she was here, she regretted not giving it to someone who really wanted to attend. There were now empty seats anywhere except beside her in the stadium.

She was surrounded by the official fan club members. Most girls had huge homemade signs and concert items. There were stalls that sold various items outside the stadium, and Saeun wondered for a moment if she should buy one too. In the end, she decided against it. It wasn’t like Wooyoung would be able to spot her in this huge crowd. All she wanted to do was just see him. To make sure he was okay.